So...basically, I had the Chrismas from hell.
I'm not going to go into all of the background and detail on what led up to the events that made my Christmas the suck (for the unititiated, you can referenece the
"I Was Assaulted In A Public Restroom" thread), but needless to say I am living in a world of trouble.
My ex-significant other David was in town for Christmas to visit his family. Originally, he was going to leave on December 26th. However, he has decided to extend his visit through New Years. I'm not exactly sure why he's decided to stay longer (although I have an idea) but via text message he has stated that he has some "unfinished business" he needs to tend to. He is still angry with me for the way I cut him off. Since then, he has sent dozens and dozens of text messages, some of them threatening and almost all of them so vulgar that I can't even type them here. But needless to say, he's pissed that I've moved on and am now dating someone else after 11 years of being in a relationship with him--which he broke off unceremoniously.
Now, my
current partner Jason cut short his time with his family so that we could have Christmas dinner at my place, exchange gifts and...ya know...
celebrate. [BLACKOUT]. This was Christmas night. Now, in my efforts to keep this thing PG-13, if I use the term "celebrate" I really am referring to
ing. [/BLACKOUT] So we were having a good time, had a nice dinner, and were watching the conclusion to one of my old-time holiday favorites "Sound Of Music" (because Julie Andrews is second to none). Well, it was about 1:30am when the doorbell rang. That was unusual for obvious reasons. Jason got up to go answer it but no one spoke back through the intercom. He came back and said that perhaps the person had the wrong number. I thought that since it was the holiday--and with so many drunks walking around--perhaps someone did indeed have the wrong place. So I also ignored it.
Jason went upstairs to take a shower. I went into the kitchen to get some booze and other refreshments to...ya know, celebrate. As I was raiding the fridge, the door bell rang again. This time I will admit my heart kinda pounded a bit because it was weird. I went to the intercom and said "hello?" And once again, no one answered. I looked out the window at the street below. Obviously it was packed with lots of my neighbors' cars. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary. I went upstairs and told Jason that the bell had rang again and I was gonna go downstairs and check it out. He was like, "let me come with you," and turned off the shower. I said I could handle it myself and would return in a few minutes.
I went downstairs into the lobby and asked the doorman if anyone had been in the area. Keep in mind that we have a new doorman and he's totally absorbed with reading mags and papers when he's not getting the door. Personally, I think he needs to be fired.
Anyway, he said a good number of residents had returned home within the last hour. I asked if anyone else had been ringing the doorbells. He said that again a number of people had been doing this. I asked if a tall Italian-looking man with black hair had come in. He thought about it for a minute and said that a tall dark-haired "Ambercrombie-looking guy" had been ringing a bell. This fits David's description, but then the doorman said that someone had let him in eventually. So that threw me off a bit. I asked if the doorman had seen this man leave again but he couldn't remember. The incompetent fool.
By that point, Jason had come down to the lobby and he had brought a coat for me saying "You are gonna catch a cold man (I was only wearing a wife-beater and khakis)." Since nothing seemed weird, we went back upstairs to my place (which, for those who don't know is co-owned by David).
I told Jason that I was concerned that maybe my ex-sig other was stalking me and he asked me why I felt that way. I mentioned the doorbell ringing and he said that that in itself was not proof. So I told him about some the text messages. I actually showed them to him since I had been saving them all. He read them and his eyebrows raised like "WTF?" He asked me if David had a violent history and I told him that we had only gotten in one physical altercation way early on in our relationship and it wasn't even that deep. It was just some shoving and he was drunk at the time. But aside from that, nothing. He said that still this could be serious, and that the text messages suggested that he could be hostile. However, since we had no
proof that David was even in the area, Jason suggested that we should just go to bed and deal with it the next morning. We exchanged gifts and uh, "celebrated" our first Christmas. Naturally that took both of our minds off of everything.
When I woke up the next morning, I found that I had two text messages on my cellphone. The first one said:
"Your new boy is hot. Nice [expletive]. U sure know how to pick them don't you."
And the other said,
"Thanks for the entertainment."
x 1,000,000,000.
WTF!!!?!?!?!
Okay, so this was some sort of horror movie s*** now. And the last text message really creeped me out. All I could think of was "was David watching us
the night before?" Although I have drapes to my bedroom windows, if you get up high enough you probably can see something through the arches at the top of the windows. And there ARE other brownstones lining the street across from us. Obviously only David would know where my master bedroom is at.
I showed Jason the text messages. He was like, "Holy s***. Okay. Put your clothes on man." As always Jason was cool as ice. Nothing seems to ruffle dude's feathers. He wanted to go down to the courtyard and see what conditions our cars were in. We got down to the garage and sure enough my car had been keyed. Also, the driver's door was open yet nothing was taken out and the alarm never went off. In addition, the tires on both mine and Jason's ride--had been flattened. Not slashed, but deflated. Jason was like, "Okay, we
do have a problem now."
I said, "I'm going to call the f***ing cops." He said, "Caliph, I AM a f***ing cop. Let me handle this my way." Jason wasn't in his jurisdiction so I was confused by his reaction. I'm no police officer, but I have a limited understanding of their protocol. But he said that since his car was involved too he wanted to take a look at the security tapes himself and deal with David--or whoever this vandal was--himself. I was a little frustrated/pissed off with this approach because I felt basically Jason didn't want to call it in because his DL fears felt it would connect him to me (since he had stayed the night there). I was like, "What the f*** does it matter? You could've been just staying the building visiting someone else--you and I don't have to know eachother." But he said that the video cameras would obviously tell a different story.
At first, this really, really angered me. I felt that Jason was letting his own DL hangups get in the way of him doing his job--or at least me getting some other cops to do his job for him. There were some terrible things scratched into my car's paint job which I won't even repeat here...and I wanted whoever did it brought to justice.
In the end, Jason changed his mind and called the local precinct himself. A male and female cop came out in like 20 minutes and took our statements. At first I tried to play it off as if I had been an innocent bystander unrelated to Jason's situation, but he cut me off and admitted to the cops that he was a police officer too--albeit off-duty at the time. He said that he and I--along with some local girls had been partying at my place the night before.
The girls had left earlier in the evening, and he had crashed at my place overnight because he didn't want to drive. This was lying but I understood why he did it. I guess. The cops seemed to buy it and they will be working with Jason to find out who did this.
Obviously insurance will handle my car's damage and I am supposed to pick it up today from the paint place. But still...
As of now, we still don't know who did this. The video cameras show a tall man that definitely fits David's build, but the angle of the camera doesn't clearly and definitively show David's face. It was too dark in that area. Also, considering how well-off David is financially, the person was dressed like a bum. A disguise perhaps? It doesn't fit the "Ambercrombie" description that the doorman gave. Also, the frequency of David's text messages has tapered off a bit since we found the cars. But he did text me saying he had "unfinished business to tend to." My instincts tell me that it was definitely David. For example, he's the only man who has a key to my car and would have the ability to disarm the alarm. As far as I'm concerned, it all adds up--but I admit that it's not 100% conclusive.
And he's still here, somewhere in this city.
Have any of you had stalking ex-bf or gfs? If so, how did you deal with your situation?
Your instincts already had you feeling nervous when you got up to his room, and you should've listened to them. At this point, he clearly isn't respecting you. Block his number if you have to. Talking to him sounded like a good idea at first, but I doubt it will be very successful, the way he's acting. Time to just cut the cord on your own.
Make no mistake, Jason may forgive, but he will not forget this. Coming from someone who was cheated on in a prior relationship, you are gonna have to work your ass off to gain trust with Jason even moreso than before, now. He's probably going to be secretly very, very nervous. However, while I was never able to trust the person who cheated on me, it was a worse situation than yours, and I think that due to your timeliness and honesty that your relationship will be ok.
