Lounge of Themyscira

[Reek]

carnage should be played by christian bale.

 

[Perfect Cell]

Without CGI.

 

[Guts]

Rosemary Harris as Carnage.

 

[Perfect Cell]

Venom and the Vindication of IMDB.

 

[Marvolo]

The Blair Witch shows up in the new movie and she looks like a stick figure.

Spoiler

Last I heard, the director said that that isnt the blair witch.

Some have speculated that it is someone that was trapped in the time loop long ago and they became that creature. Others have speculated that it is the main female character from the first film. I saw one theory that the witch is actually an alien creature in another dimension that can manipulate spacetime which would explain the time loop and it always being night and the appearance of that thing.

Whatever that thing is, the final 20 minutes of that movie was bat**** bonkers so the director may not have known what any of it was.

 

[Perfect Cell]

What

 

[Marvolo]

What

Havr you not watched the new Blaire Witch?

 

[Guts]

The Blair Witch just wants to turn people into stick figures.

 

[dude stannis]

It's ****in' voodoo magic mon.

 

[Reek]

Last I heard, the director said that that isnt the blair witch.

Some have speculated that it is someone that was trapped in the time loop long ago and they became that creature. Others have speculated that it is the main female character from the first film. I saw one theory that the witch is actually an alien creature in another dimension that can manipulate spacetime which would explain the time loop and it always being night and the appearance of that thing.

Whatever that thing is, the final 20 minutes of that movie was bat**** bonkers so the director may not have known what any of it was.

 

[Marvolo]

Burn the stick witch!

 

[Perfect Cell]

Havr you not watched the new Blaire Witch?

Of course not. But even if I had, my reaction to a theory that the Witch is an alien from another dimension would still be...

What

 

[Guts]

Of course not. But even if I had, my reaction to a theory that the Witch is an alien from another dimension would still be...

What

Eventually the characters get stuck in an eternal night while in the woods. Even though the time says it should be midday the sun is nowhere to be seen. Also when they find the house in the woods a really bright light shines through the windows at one point, which is probably where the alien theory comes from.

 

[Perfect Cell]

Eventually the characters get stuck in an eternal night while in the woods. Even though the time says it should be midday the sun is nowhere to be seen. Also when they find the house in the woods a really bright light shines through the windows at one point, which is probably where the alien theory comes from.

That would be so dumb. And the first movie was already SUPER DUMB. You don't have much room left on the precipice before you start sliding into Saw-style madness.

Blair Witch 3D.

 

[Reek]

I have a theory that the blair witch is a vile vile figure that goes from town to town... erasing all hope from anyone it looks at... spitting nonsense about things not happening just to be that *****ebaggy witch who hates life. I'd imagine she'd daylight as a fake film critic for some lackluster paper in west bumble****, northern kentucky and has a penchant for buggery. filthy creature smells like cabbage and named her first victim 'The Allen Parsons Project".

 

[dude stannis]

It's not impossible since some of the effects used are similar to effects that happened to people in West Virginia during the Mothman era.

 

[Marvolo]

Of course not. But even if I had, my reaction to a theory that the Witch is an alien from another dimension would still be...

What

At the beginning of the film the characters find part of a video and the guy thinks its video of his sister (the main character of the first film). Its hard to tell for sure but he wants to go save her. So him and his friends go to the woods where she was last seen years ago believing she may still be alive.

Well in the third act the group gets separated and later on they stumble back into each other. Part of the group thinks hours have gone by. The other part of the group looks like starving hobos and claim days or weeks have passed. And its been dark for days. So time isnt moving the same for everyone and the sun and stars are gone. They get separated again and later on one of the main characters is found having grown a long beard and is completely insane and is saying hes been in the woods for months or years.

Well at the very end its revealed that the video they found at the beginning of the movie is actually the video the main characters are making throughout the film while they are looking for his sister. Somehow the video they made while looking fie his sister ended up getting sent back in time to him which is what gets him to go looking for his sister.

Also there is evidence in the film that their group and the group his sister was with in the first film may have in fact been in the woods at the same time. Even tho the first film takes places years before the new film. Some things that happened in the first film seem to have been caused by things that happen in the second film. Its like the woods are some sort of other dimension. Similar to the oher dimension in Stranger Things.

In short, time is very much non linear in the Blair Witch film.

 

[Roose Bolton]

It's not impossible since some of the effects used are similar to effects that happened to people in West Virginia during the Mothman era.

The moral of this story is that everyone should probably have saved their time and money and just watched The Mothman Prophecies instead.

 

[Guts]

Should Spring Heeled Jack get the Blair Witch treatment?

 

[Reek]

It's not impossible since some of the effects used are similar to effects that happened to people in West Virginia during the Mothman era.

this was the last time anyone saw that vile blair witch.

 

[Perfect Cell]

Oh my god, I wasn't asking for a synopsis of the film to be Marvsplained to me... It was a sarcastic "What". A derisive "What". A "What" of sheer incredulity.

I swear to God Marvolo... I swear to God.

 

[dude stannis]

And even with all of Sony's failings, I'll still see Venom. It's going to have Tom Hardy getting into a fist fight with a serial killer ink blot. I'm sold.

Here's what I don't get about the complaining. Both announced movies sound really good.

Should Spring Heeled Jack get the Blair Witch treatment?

He should get the Mothman Prophecies treatment.

 

[Reek]

At the beginning of the film the characters find part of a video and the guy thinks its video of his sister (the main character of the first film). Its hard to tell for sure but he wants to go save her. So him and his friends go to the woods where she was last seen years ago believing she may still be alive.

Well in the third act the group gets separated and later on they stumble back into each other. Part of the group thinks hours have gone by. The other part of the group looks like starving hobos and claim days or weeks have passed. And its been dark for days. So time isnt moving the same for everyone and the sun and stars are gone. They get separated again and later on one of the main characters is found having grown a long beard and is completely insane and is saying hes been in the woods for months or years.

Well at the very end its revealed that the video they found at the beginning of the movie is actually the video the main characters are making throughout the film while they are looking for his sister. Somehow the video they made while looking fie his sister ended up getting sent back in time to him which is what gets him to go looking for his sister.

Also there is evidence in the film that their group and the group his sister was with in the first film may have in fact been in the woods at the same time. Even tho the first film takes places years before the new film. Some things that happened in the first film seem to have been caused by things that happen in the second film. Its like the woods are some sort of other dimension. Similar to the oher dimension in Stranger Things.

In short, time is very much non linear in the Blair Witch film.

So what you're saying is the witch has as flux capacitor?

 

[Marvolo]

Oh my god, I wasn't asking for a synopsis of the film to be Marvsplained to me... It was a sarcastic "What". A derisive "What". A "What" of sheer incredulity.

I swear to God Marvolo... I swear to God.

Well use a :sarcastic: smilie next time. Gahhh.

 

[Perfect Cell]

Emojis are for the weak, and for bloodlines that won't survive the winter.

NOBODY LOOK CLOSELY AT MY AVATAR.