Return of the *Official* Relationship Advice Thread

[Thebumwhowalks]

I have had people accusing me of being racist , and having problems with inter-racial relationships for the last couple of days now, and I have no idea why.

It is the most bizarre thing i have ever been accused of in my life, I have never had anything going through me like that at all.
I just wish I knew what the **** makes folk think i have a problem like that.
When have I ever had anything like that go through my mind? Wtf is going on?

It has gotten to the point where I kicked my computer off the table this morning and hoped i had broken it so's I did not have to put up with any more of this unfair abuse. Folk calling me a 'nazi' and sh** like that, wtf?

It is truly an evil thing to do, to accuse someone of something so horrible that they are innocent of, and yet present no proof of this, i mean, that is what I call facism, the folk accusing me of crimes I am not guilty of, and offering no evidence, so i don't even know wtf I am supposed to be defending myself from, those folk are the frickin nazis.

 

[Erzengel]

Well, it must have been how you wrote your posts. Either you weren't clear or you came off as racist.

 

[Thebumwhowalks]

Well, it must have been how you wrote your posts. Either you weren't clear or you came off as racist.

Aye, well that is clearly the case isn't it? I have obviously said something that hs been mis-interpreted.

but, the trouble is, i have no idea what that is, so cannot clear it up.

I mean, let's say I have been in two interracial relationships, and let's say both of these women were like Charlie Xavier, they could read my mind all day every day...surely they would have picked up on something like that over all those months if i indeed had some kind of problem with inter-racial relationships.

So, the sad thing is, instead of thinking, 'oh, well, obviously he has said something about it in a wonky way, and we have mis-interpreted it, because, i didn't sense anything like that when i was reading his mind all those months...'

they have just thought 'wtf has he just said? he must have a problem with inter-racial relationships!'

and the problem is, i don't even know wtf it is I have said that has obviously been mis-interpreted, so i can't look at what i said and say 'oh, right, i put that wonky, what i meant was...', y'know, to defend myself.

as i said, it is just bizarre, as i have never even thought or felt anything like that, it is just freaking me out a bit cause i know that is not in me.
I have admitted to doing ****ed up things in the past, but i won't admit to anything i am not guilty of, of course i won't.
But, i can't defend myself either, cause i don't know what I have done or said wrong, it is infuriating, and tbh, i am quite disapointed in some folk I respected, who now think i am like that. I mean, i am losing respect for them now, as they are not even taking into consideration that fact that it maybe something that has been misinterpreted. Which, is obviously the case.

 

[AndThePickles]

Are people accusing you of racism on here?

 

[Erzengel]

More importantly, why are you letting it bother you this much? I never understood why people got violently angry and punched things or wanted to throw things because of posts done on a messageboard.

Like, Ghandi once said, "Relax, don't do it. If you wanna go through it."

 

[Thebumwhowalks]

Are people accusing you of racism on here?

Aye, that has happened.

@Erzengel...well, it is a bit more than that, if there is the chance these false accusations are going to have an impact on your personal life later on(don't ask, I'm sure can make a good enough guess).

Because, if a romantic relationship fell apart because of something that I did that I was genuinely guilty of, or if the person did not like the real genuine article of myself, I could learn to live with that, of course I could.
But, if something as imporatnt as that falls apart because of something I am not guilty of, man, I don't know how I could cope with that.

and losing my temper this morning? dude, with the frickin craziness that is my life, all the pressures, illness, madness and sadness, and now this bs, that I can't even defend myslef from, even though i know it is not true of myself, I'm not surprised I lost the rag for a moment there.

I feel like that dude in Kafka's 'The Trial', where he is brought up on charges, accused and found guilty of something, and no-one tells him what the hell it is he has done.
Well, I never read that one, but from what i understand, that is the story behind it.

 

[DV8]

MAN!! I have two "ladyfriends" that live in different states and they are both planning on coming back next week . . . I'm not in a relationship with either of them, but this is a delicate situation . . . not really sure what I should do to juggle them :~S

 

[Erzengel]

Well, how big is your town?

Or take one to an activity that the other definitely wouldn't be at. Or if you are trying to schedule dates at different times, try and find out which days they aren't available and what they are doing?

 

[DV8]

Well, how big is your town?

Or take one to an activity that the other definitely wouldn't be at. Or if you are trying to schedule dates at different times, try and find out which days they aren't available and what they are doing?

good advice sir . . . I definitely don't wanna outright lie and get caught, cuz then the trust will be broken if either one of them finds out . . . but I'm not in a relationship and I like my freedom, that's just how it is

I think if I tell one I'm "tied up" for the evening, I will make a point to not be seen in public w/ the other one LOL; I'll just stay at home at watch movies w/ the other one or something . . .

 

[Hound55]

I have had people accusing me of being racist , and having problems with inter-racial relationships for the last couple of days now, and I have no idea why.

It is the most bizarre thing i have ever been accused of in my life, I have never had anything going through me like that at all.
I just wish I knew what the **** makes folk think i have a problem like that.
When have I ever had anything like that go through my mind? Wtf is going on?

It has gotten to the point where I kicked my computer off the table this morning and hoped i had broken it so's I did not have to put up with any more of this unfair abuse. Folk calling me a 'nazi' and sh** like that, wtf?

It is truly an evil thing to do, to accuse someone of something so horrible that they are innocent of, and yet present no proof of this, i mean, that is what I call facism, the folk accusing me of crimes I am not guilty of, and offering no evidence, so i don't even know wtf I am supposed to be defending myself from, those folk are the frickin nazis.

Where?

 

[Anubis]

I'm assuming he's talking about the DC Lounge.

Which is where it becomes apparent that he's reading far more into things than what actually, you know, is.

I read the whole exchange, and it's disturbing how it's like, he's, I don't know, trying to read subtext of what people are typing that just isn't there.

 

[Thebumwhowalks]

Well, you must admit that folk on the net always use veiled insults about people in order to get at them, and to avoid technically breaking the rules.

So, of course there is always deniability there, and that of course is what people do when you bring it up.

But, you guys have treated me better than most here, so that is why I felt it worse over there when stuff went down, with folk accusing me of things.

So, if i read into anything that was posted by you last night that was not aimed at me, then i apologise.

Anyway, my mental health is getting a bit ****ed up by this whole business, I need to stop talking about this, it's infecting my mind with sh** that wsasn't there before, like, my mind is attacking itself with the ideas that people are accusing me of, and it is not nice to have sh** like that flying through my head.

 

[Anubis]

Maybe you're trying to find veiled insults where there aren't any. Now all you've done is turned people that actually didn't mind your quirky ways off to you. It's Irksome. Chillax.

 

[Thebumwhowalks]

Ok, sorry, and I appreciate you talking to me about this.
I really do not want my head to turn into a den of touretian snakes over this, which is what is starting to happen now and again.

Like, if folk accuse you of being racist, my mind can start attacking itself with racist slurs.

Same goes if I am accused of being homophobic, homophobic phrases start erupting in my mind, that is the mental illness i am talking about starting to happen.
It's like your mind starts to play act the way people see you as, like, you are accused of being that, so you get stresssed out about it, and the mind starts attacking itself with those kinds of ideas.
It has not been happening that much, but it has happened a few times.

You're right, i do need to relax, i can't afford to be going crazy in the head because of this and making myself worse in the head than i was when i came in.

 

[Bruce Banner]

Yeah, Richmond is pretty hick. You'll have your work cut out for you, there. Capital of the Confederacy and all.

It is a hick city, so are the areas outside of it. I am not cut out for this town. I would love to live up north, and I will sooner or later.

 

[LOBO3315a]

It is a hick city, so are the areas outside of it. I am not cut out for this town. I would love to live up north, and I will sooner or later.

I used to live in Woodbridge. It's not better by much, even that close to DC. Or it wasn't 20 years ago or so. Might be better nowadays.

 

[WillardNation]

Bum, let me start off by saying I don't think you're a bad guy or racist or anything. You seem to be pretty alright based on what I've seen of your posts. But man, you gotta not let stuff posted on a message board get to you so much. It's random, faceless/nameless people that you will probably never meet or talk to in real life. And it does seem like you might be reading too much into things. If things posted on a message board are having that much of an impact on you, I would highly suggest getting some professional help, bud.

 

[Gotham Knight]

Aye, well that is clearly the case isn't it? I have obviously said something that hs been mis-interpreted.

but, the trouble is, i have no idea what that is, so cannot clear it up.

I mean, let's say I have been in two interracial relationships, and let's say both of these women were like Charlie Xavier, they could read my mind all day every day...surely they would have picked up on something like that over all those months if i indeed had some kind of problem with inter-racial relationships.

So, the sad thing is, instead of thinking, 'oh, well, obviously he has said something about it in a wonky way, and we have mis-interpreted it, because, i didn't sense anything like that when i was reading his mind all those months...'

they have just thought 'wtf has he just said? he must have a problem with inter-racial relationships!'

and the problem is, i don't even know wtf it is I have said that has obviously been mis-interpreted, so i can't look at what i said and say 'oh, right, i put that wonky, what i meant was...', y'know, to defend myself.

as i said, it is just bizarre, as i have never even thought or felt anything like that, it is just freaking me out a bit cause i know that is not in me.
I have admitted to doing ****** up things in the past, but i won't admit to anything i am not guilty of, of course i won't.
But, i can't defend myself either, cause i don't know what I have done or said wrong, it is infuriating, and tbh, i am quite disapointed in some folk I respected, who now think i am like that. I mean, i am losing respect for them now, as they are not even taking into consideration that fact that it maybe something that has been misinterpreted. Which, is obviously the case.

You lost me.

 

[Nell2ThaIzzay]

Bum, let me start off by saying I don't think you're a bad guy or racist or anything. You seem to be pretty alright based on what I've seen of your posts. But man, you gotta not let stuff posted on a message board get to you so much. It's random, faceless/nameless people that you will probably never meet or talk to in real life. And it does seem like you might be reading too much into things. If things posted on a message board are having that much of an impact on you, I would highly suggest getting some professional help, bud.

Yea, I used to be that way, and you *DON'T* want to turn out like me.

 

[Nell2ThaIzzay]

MAN!! I have two "ladyfriends" that live in different states and they are both planning on coming back next week . . . I'm not in a relationship with either of them, but this is a delicate situation . . . not really sure what I should do to juggle them :~S

Glad I'm not the only one dealing with out of town lady friends. Though my situation certainly isn't like your's.

I have one who, I think it just teasing me, but she's adamant that she's going to come out and visit me.

I have one who, I don't think is really serious at all when she says she wants to come visit me, but it's fun to think about anyways.

And I have one who, while I think is completely serious about wanting to see me, her methods have caught me completely off guard considering our previous... lack of any relationship... and how random her seeming openness is.

 

[WillardNation]

I fell in love with a waitress' ass tonight. To say it was amazing would be an understatement. Anything less than 'mesmerizing' would not do it justice.

 

[AndThePickles]

Bum, let me start off by saying I don't think you're a bad guy or racist or anything. You seem to be pretty alright based on what I've seen of your posts. But man, you gotta not let stuff posted on a message board get to you so much. It's random, faceless/nameless people that you will probably never meet or talk to in real life. And it does seem like you might be reading too much into things. If things posted on a message board are having that much of an impact on you, I would highly suggest getting some professional help, bud.

I concur.

 

[Bubonic]

WillardNation was forced to become so zen because of the fact that he can probably dismantle 97% of internet tough guys, yet can't because they aren't there.

There internet really is a good place to learn how to manage ones anger and assess the value of our emotions.

Remember kids only you can make you feel angry.

Now if we could reach threw computer screens we'd all sing a different song.

 

[Erzengel]

I fell in love with a waitress' ass tonight. To say it was amazing would be an understatement. Anything less than 'mesmerizing' would not do it justice.

Did she provide prompt and courteous service and then give you your check at the end?

 

[DV8]

Glad I'm not the only one dealing with out of town lady friends. Though my situation certainly isn't like your's.

I have one who, I think it just teasing me, but she's adamant that she's going to come out and visit me.

I have one who, I don't think is really serious at all when she says she wants to come visit me, but it's fun to think about anyways.

And I have one who, while I think is completely serious about wanting to see me, her methods have caught me completely off guard considering our previous... lack of any relationship... and how random her seeming openness is.

hmmmm . . . be careful with that last one Izzay; sounds like she's "buttering" you up