Return of the *Official* Relationship Advice Thread

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Did she provide prompt and courteous service and then give you your check at the end? :huh:
I think, from the sound of it, he'd hve preferred "her end" at the check...
 
hmmmm . . . be careful with that last one Izzay; sounds like she's "buttering" you up

I have no expectations, im just rolling with it whatever happens.

Its not totally random, there's a little rhyme and reason to it. But at the same time, it is random.

Its my beat friend's sister in law (his wife's sister). I met her 2 years ago when my friend and I took a trip to meet his then fiance at her parents home. We all spent the weekend together. Saw her again a year ago at the wedding. I was best man, she was maid of honor, so we spent some time together over the course of everything. She had a boyfriend at the time, who was at the wedding, but her mom, and her moms best friend were pretty adamant on their feelings that they wanted me dating her, not him. And my friend had made remarks in the past about us "being family", in regards to hooking me up with her.

Her and I exchanged numbers. Kept in touch a couple times, but not too regularly. Eventually I lost contact with her. She randomly got in touch with me later. Said she lost her phone and changed her number. Said she was on spring break, that she missed me, and wanted me to visit her on her spring break. A bit random, especially saying she missed me. It never happened tho.

Again lost touch. But she randomly contacted me again out of nowhere. Again, expressed wanting me to go and visit her. I told her sure, since it was summertime and im out of school. Worst case scenario is that I go hang out with a cool girl for a weekend, and have a fun time. She wanted me to come up with her to her sisters graduation but it was too short notice for me.

My friend called me one day, and started talking about her. I started telling him about everything, and his feeling is shes interested in me. He went so far as to say if I was able to make the trip to his wifes graduation, id have a girlfriend right now.

Her and I are currently making plans for me to go up and see her. Like I said, im just rolling with it. I really got no expectations, I just think it'll be fun. And if there's something more waiting for me, then great. If its just a fun weekend with friends, great. Im not trying to force something.

If anyone is buttering me up, im pretty sure its the first one, who I've come to the conclusion is just a tease.
 
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Until you get a G/F. Then she'll wanna hook up too.
 
Once, I'd like to see a Nell story with an actual payoff. :o
 
It's like an episode of Freaks and Geeks isn't it... They never really have a win.
 
I'm not waiting here with baited breath for you to get laid or something, but it'd be nice to finally hear a story from you that ends up with you with a gf, dating, or maybe yeah a one night stand, instead of you just learning a lesson or having an epiphany.
 
I'm not waiting here with baited breath for you to get laid or something, but it'd be nice to finally hear a story from you that ends up with you with a gf, dating, or maybe yeah a one night stand, instead of you just learning a lesson or having an epiphany.

It would be nice. But it will happen when it happens.

I've spent way too much time of my life trying to force stuff to happen. Sometimes it was my fault, sometimes it just didn't work out. But the past couple years, I've been getting my own **** together, working on myself. The rest will come.
 
I have no expectations, im just rolling with it whatever happens.

Its not totally random, there's a little rhyme and reason to it. But at the same time, it is random.

Its my beat friend's sister in law (his wife's sister). I met her 2 years ago when my friend and I took a trip to meet his then fiance at her parents home. We all spent the weekend together. Saw her again a year ago at the wedding. I was best man, she was maid of honor, so we spent some time together over the course of everything. She had a boyfriend at the time, who was at the wedding, but her mom, and her moms best friend were pretty adamant on their feelings that they wanted me dating her, not him. And my friend had made remarks in the past about us "being family", in regards to hooking me up with her.

Her and I exchanged numbers. Kept in touch a couple times, but not too regularly. Eventually I lost contact with her. She randomly got in touch with me later. Said she lost her phone and changed her number. Said she was on spring break, that she missed me, and wanted me to visit her on her spring break. A bit random, especially saying she missed me. It never happened tho.

Again lost touch. But she randomly contacted me again out of nowhere. Again, expressed wanting me to go and visit her. I told her sure, since it was summertime and im out of school. Worst case scenario is that I go hang out with a cool girl for a weekend, and have a fun time. She wanted me to come up with her to her sisters graduation but it was too short notice for me.

My friend called me one day, and started talking about her. I started telling him about everything, and his feeling is shes interested in me. He went so far as to say if I was able to make the trip to his wifes graduation, id have a girlfriend right now.

Her and I are currently making plans for me to go up and see her. Like I said, im just rolling with it. I really got no expectations, I just think it'll be fun. And if there's something more waiting for me, then great. If its just a fun weekend with friends, great. Im not trying to force something.

If anyone is buttering me up, im pretty sure its the first one, who I've come to the conclusion is just a tease .

Random seems to be word of the day for you.

She has asked you at least twice for you to come and hang out with her and both times you didn't make it happen. She contacted you, if she wasn't interested in getting to know you better she wouldn't have bothered contacting you. For some people bringing up that courage to ask someone out is quite hard.

It's not about forcing something to happen, just be OPEN to the idea. It seems like you shut the door on her twice already, most guys don't get a second chance, let alone a third chance so go with it. Just have some fun and see what happens.
 
Yea, I guess I could have gotten fired from my job, lost my role in my play, and given up my 2 little league coaching gigs, as well as burn through my bank account, to take an impulse trip down to Miami that I couldn't afford.

Now I am actually in a position where I can actually afford a trip, and have the time to do so, and we've made plans to make it happen.

She doesn't even live in the same state. I thought I had mentioned that previously, but perhaps not.
 
I didn't actually read what you wrote, I just like to pop in every now and then and say stupid or quit being a wussy. Up until this point, it has always been spot on. :o
 
I didn't actually read what you wrote, I just like to pop in every now and then and say stupid or quit being a wussy. Up until this point, it has always been spot on. :o

Well then, carry on :woot:
 
I didn't actually read what you wrote, I just like to pop in every now and then and say stupid or quit being a wussy. Up until this point, it has always been spot on. :o

True. I kinda just lightly skim through the posts on this thread at this point . The answer to all the questions is Always Keep Your Opitions open , Ask her out Before, not after you become friends, and Make sure you don't end up on the Maury show nine months later awaiting paternity results .

With that, eat, drink , and be marry.:hrt:.
 
Sooo...this is not involving a romantic relationship, but a work related one. I've never been in this situation before, and I feel terribly and don't know what to do.

To preface, I date and am friends with a lot of black people who make jokes involving stereotypes. So, I am around that sort of banter on a consistent basis. As a white woman, I am aware that the line gets blurred involving that sort of joking around, and I tend to avoid actually make those sort of jokes myself. But, in my thoughts, sometimes I can't help but jump to that sort of banter, and I'll even think of what so-and-so would be joking about if they were there. I dug myself into a bit of a hole earlier this week...I was recommending something to a black male coworker and recommended the watermelon flavor of it, and make a small crack along the lines of "not saying you should choose that one just because you're black."

My intent was completely joking and harmless, but he was definitely offended. And I think still is. I apologized and feel terrible...people in my office joke around constantly, but that was clearly not amusing to him. I don't know what to do :csad:
 
Buy him a watermelon and place it on his desk. :up:

You apologized, that's all you can do. Just hope without enough time, he would get over it. That's pretty much all you can do and in the future realize that you really can't joke with him that way.
 
I have no expectations, im just rolling with it whatever happens.

Its not totally random, there's a little rhyme and reason to it. But at the same time, it is random.

Its my beat friend's sister in law (his wife's sister). I met her 2 years ago when my friend and I took a trip to meet his then fiance at her parents home. We all spent the weekend together. Saw her again a year ago at the wedding. I was best man, she was maid of honor, so we spent some time together over the course of everything. She had a boyfriend at the time, who was at the wedding, but her mom, and her moms best friend were pretty adamant on their feelings that they wanted me dating her, not him. And my friend had made remarks in the past about us "being family", in regards to hooking me up with her.

Her and I exchanged numbers. Kept in touch a couple times, but not too regularly. Eventually I lost contact with her. She randomly got in touch with me later. Said she lost her phone and changed her number. Said she was on spring break, that she missed me, and wanted me to visit her on her spring break. A bit random, especially saying she missed me. It never happened tho.

Again lost touch. But she randomly contacted me again out of nowhere. Again, expressed wanting me to go and visit her. I told her sure, since it was summertime and im out of school. Worst case scenario is that I go hang out with a cool girl for a weekend, and have a fun time. She wanted me to come up with her to her sisters graduation but it was too short notice for me.

My friend called me one day, and started talking about her. I started telling him about everything, and his feeling is shes interested in me. He went so far as to say if I was able to make the trip to his wifes graduation, id have a girlfriend right now.

Her and I are currently making plans for me to go up and see her. Like I said, im just rolling with it. I really got no expectations, I just think it'll be fun. And if there's something more waiting for me, then great. If its just a fun weekend with friends, great. Im not trying to force something.

If anyone is buttering me up, im pretty sure its the first one, who I've come to the conclusion is just a tease.

oh ok, well you didn't say that sucka! there's nothing random about that at all, you coulda pry smashed at the wedding but she had a bf . . . sounds like you're in the right mode though; don't expect her to drop draws right off the top, but go w/ the flow . . . bro
 
oh ok, well you didn't say that sucka! there's nothing random about that at all, you coulda pry smashed at the wedding but she had a bf . . . sounds like you're in the right mode though; don't expect her to drop draws right off the top, but go w/ the flow . . . bro

I think the reason it felt random was because she was telling me how she missed me when I had only ever met her twice, over the course of 2 years, and have only talked to her sporadically since the wedding. So I was caught off guard by her telling me that.

But, my friend seems to think her intentions are of interest, and even though I dont know her all that well, what I have gotten to know shes a cool chick. Plus, I consider her sister (my friends wife) a good friend, and I know her family so I know she's stable and has a good head on her shoulders (something some of my past encounters havent had)

Im looking forward to it. I think shell be a cool girl to hang out with for a weekend. And if her intentions are more, then I'm definitely open to exploring that as well. But my first priority is just to go out, hang out and have some fun.
 
Sooo...this is not involving a romantic relationship, but a work related one. I've never been in this situation before, and I feel terribly and don't know what to do.

To preface, I date and am friends with a lot of black people who make jokes involving stereotypes. So, I am around that sort of banter on a consistent basis. As a white woman, I am aware that the line gets blurred involving that sort of joking around, and I tend to avoid actually make those sort of jokes myself. But, in my thoughts, sometimes I can't help but jump to that sort of banter, and I'll even think of what so-and-so would be joking about if they were there. I dug myself into a bit of a hole earlier this week...I was recommending something to a black male coworker and recommended the watermelon flavor of it, and make a small crack along the lines of "not saying you should choose that one just because you're black."

My intent was completely joking and harmless, but he was definitely offended. And I think still is. I apologized and feel terrible...people in my office joke around constantly, but that was clearly not amusing to him. I don't know what to do :csad:

hahahaha . . . Pickle is a racialist
 
Sooo...this is not involving a romantic relationship, but a work related one. I've never been in this situation before, and I feel terribly and don't know what to do.

To preface, I date and am friends with a lot of black people who make jokes involving stereotypes. So, I am around that sort of banter on a consistent basis. As a white woman, I am aware that the line gets blurred involving that sort of joking around, and I tend to avoid actually make those sort of jokes myself. But, in my thoughts, sometimes I can't help but jump to that sort of banter, and I'll even think of what so-and-so would be joking about if they were there. I dug myself into a bit of a hole earlier this week...I was recommending something to a black male coworker and recommended the watermelon flavor of it, and make a small crack along the lines of "not saying you should choose that one just because you're black."

My intent was completely joking and harmless, but he was definitely offended. And I think still is. I apologized and feel terrible...people in my office joke around constantly, but that was clearly not amusing to him. I don't know what to do :csad:

Yeah, I've learned that even if people of color (regardless of ethnic backgrounds) are making self-disparaging funnies, it's best to avoid following suit. You are allowed to smile and laugh, but anything else is off limits.
You have all ready apologized to him, if he chooses not to accept it then that's on him. The best you can do from this point forward is to divorce yourself from "joining in" on future sessions. One person's hurt feelings in this arena could quickly put you out of a job. Take it as a lesson learned, and move on.
 
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