Return of the *Official* Relationship Advice Thread

[Anita18]

Or you guys might end up doing doubles.

Not something to count on, though.

 

[WillardNation]

Yeah. Ugh, I don't know what to do.....

 

[Erzengel]

I always make the joke of how long I could make a relationship last with someone so vapid.

Great sex aside, I wouldn't even humor the notion that you could marry this girl for her parents' money. You'd be stuck with her and any indiscretion, you'll be out on your ass with no money.

It's not even worth it, because while the sex is awesome, and I'm a firm believer that intimacy is one of the three most important things in a relationship, I don't think I could be with someone who didn't "get" me half the time in terms of humor and personality.

 

[Anubis]

Well, as long as you don't sign a pre-nup, you'll be fine. And if you do, well, you got a really good friend that would be willing to help you hide a body?

 

[WillardNation]

You all make very good points. Another thought I had: who says I have to jump right into something serious right away? I can just date her and have her buy me stuff. If it doesn't work out, it doesn't work out but at least I got a bunch of **** she bought me while we were dating.

 

[Anita18]

You all make very good points. Another thought I had: who says I have to jump right into something serious right away? I can just date her and have her buy me stuff. If it doesn't work out, it doesn't work out but at least I got a bunch of **** she bought me while we were dating.

You come across like an utter *****ebag with that post. Just sayin.

And just because some women are gold diggers doesn't give men any excuse to act similarly.

ETA: Also, just because you think you're "just dating" doesn't mean she sees things the same way. She's already talking marriage and kids. You did suggest the open marriage, but for someone that delusional, rationality often doesn't come along with them.

 

[Bubonic]

I fear this will have a Bobbitesque ending.

 

[WillardNation]

You come across like an utter *****ebag with that post. Just sayin.

I realize this.

And just because some women are gold diggers doesn't give men any excuse to act similarly.

Maybe not all men, but one or two here and there.

ETA: Also, just because you think you're "just dating" doesn't mean she sees things the same way. She's already talking marriage and kids. You did suggest the open marriage, but for someone that delusional, rationality often doesn't come along with them.

This is true.

 

[Anita18]

To be clear, I'm not saying that it's wrong to be in a relationship with someone richer than you. I have two college friends who are loaded and married people much less financially secure then they are. The relationships work because all parties realize that although it's nice not to have to worry about money, it's about the person first.

One of these friends is actually my ex-bf. I'm actually glad I'm not with him anymore because not only did our personalities clash like woh, I'm not the type of person to go spending money willy-nilly. His current high-octane lifestyle would drive me NUTS.

The other friend comes from old money and the coolest thing about her is that if you didn't know who her family was, you wouldn't know how rich she is. Totally low-key and doesn't flaunt her wealth. She even met her husband when they both worked at the mall in high school. Out of anybody, she certainly didn't have to have a job in high school. Even I didn't.

You have to approach those kinds of relationships with as much generosity and respect as you would other relationships, not think about what you're going to get out of it.

 

[LOBO3315a]

Willard, there's a lot of good advice being given here. Keep her as a booty-call, and when she tries to "take it to the next level", dump her.

And PM me her phone number. :-P

 

[amazingfantasy15]

I have a ****** dilemma. Whats worse, is that it's a dilemma that almost anybody (including me, if I wasn't the one having it) would call a no-brainer.

There's this girl. We've hooked up quite a few times. She is absolutely in love with me. I know this because she doesn't know the meaning of the term "coming on too strong". The first time we ever hung out she told me it was love at first sight. (Weird, right?)
The dilemma is this: I don't like her. I don't not like her, we just don't have anything in common; whenever we hang out, there is a lot of awkward silence. I'm a pretty witty guy and appreciate someone I can have a good back and forth with and laugh a lot. There is none of that with this girl. She is pretty ****ing dumb, actually. And although she is definitely not someone you would call unattractive, I don't think she is really anything special or overly hot, either.
That being said, the sex is AMAZING. Probably the best I've ever had. Our sexual chemistry is out of this world. Now, I'm not one to date somebody based on sex alone. I would keep her as a booty call (as I have) and nothing else. BUT, this particular girl happens to have parents that own some hotels. So pretty much, the difference between be continuing to struggle financially wise (ie: be broke ALL THE ****ING TIME) and be an instant millionaire and be set for life is me deciding whether or not I can commit to this girl.

*sigh* woe is me......


Edit: Oh, and I guess it wouldn't really be a dilemma if this was the only girl in my life, but there are actually a few other girls I actually DO like and enjoy spending time with. I just don't know if I can possibly give up being with someone that I would actually love and enjoy being with for money.
There's also the fact that I hate not being able to do whatever (and more importantly, WHOEVER) whenever I want.

You need to lose this girl's number. You don't want to be in a relationship and truthfully don't sound mature enough to be in a relationship, however, this girl does. You don't like her, she likes you and wants to be in a relationship, using her for sex just makes you a total *****ebag. Thinking about pretending to be in a relationship just for what she'll buy you and even worse even considering trying to make a marriage work makes you a f'ing piece of $#!t. Do the girl a favor and stop seeing her.

 

[Anubis]

I don't know, b***h sound crazy to me.

 

[AndThePickles]

You need to lose this girl's number. You don't want to be in a relationship and truthfully don't sound mature enough to be in a relationship, however, this girl does. You don't like her, she likes you and wants to be in a relationship, using her for sex just makes you a total *****ebag. Thinking about pretending to be in a relationship just for what she'll buy you and even worse even considering trying to make a marriage work makes you a f'ing piece of $#!t. Do the girl a favor and stop seeing her.

Preach!

 

[B.A. Baracus]

You all make very good points. Another thought I had: who says I have to jump right into something serious right away? I can just date her and have her buy me stuff. If it doesn't work out, it doesn't work out but at least I got a bunch of **** she bought me while we were dating.

Lol. Get some Hot Toys.

But seriously, she's gonna kill you.

Seriously.

 

[Aesop Rocks]

So last night I was at a party with a few friends, and they all brought up the subject of me being forever alone. Nothing new. So as I sat there through their own version of Hardball with Chris Matthew and the No Spin Zone with O'Rielly, I answered the typical "No, I'm not talking to anyone", "No I haven't had sex yet", "yes, there is a girl I like", etc etc...

The girl I like was brought up, and me being me, I was reluctant at first to show them who it was. My friends hung out with that big certain crowd in town that knows EVERYONE and EVERYONES drama (I was never into that kind of thing). Eventually I showed them who it was, and they all got horrified looks on their faces and told me to stay away from her. Not because she's ugly or anything, but how "mentally unstable" she is.

I come to find out that she got her ex beat up because he cheated on her and stuff. That wasn't the reason he was beat up. He was beat up because she put bruises on herself and lied to say that he beat her, when he never did. While I figured something was up with her, I never really expected it was that extreme. Also, while I know it's just be smart to stay away from her and stop talking to her, I can't bring myself to. Like, I'm willing to take that risk.

 

[B.A. Baracus]

Dude, don't i mean there are some crazy girls out there, but the one you like seriously does sound mentally unstable and if you were to get with her she could really screw you over, It's not worth the risk. I know it's easier said than done moving on from a girl you really like, we've all been there.

No offence, but i hope you don't get with her, she sounds like a ****. What you and your family are going through you don't need that, nor do you deserve it.

 

[Bubonic]

You need to lose this girl's number. You don't want to be in a relationship and truthfully don't sound mature enough to be in a relationship, however, this girl does. You don't like her, she likes you and wants to be in a relationship, using her for sex just makes you a total *****ebag. Thinking about pretending to be in a relationship just for what she'll buy you and even worse even considering trying to make a marriage work makes you a f'ing piece of $#!t. Do the girl a favor and stop seeing her.

How does this girl sound mature enough to be in a relationship?
Everything WillardNation has presented us with would lead me to believe that she seriously needs to reassess the way she thinks.

She went on about marriage and WillardNation said it would have to be an open marriage. Sounds like she needs something awful to happen to her to wake her up to life, and WillardNation sounds like that something awful!

She's got a silver spoon in hand so who cares, she'll get over it.

From the sound of it this is the universe equalizing matters. I mean sounds like her mom did to the dad what WillardNation plans to do with her.

These things need to happen in order to keep the fabrics of space and time from splitting.

It's all very scientific actually.

 

[WillardNation]

Thanks, Bubonic.

Also, the open marriage thing was said as a joke. I made sure it came across that way. There is absolutely no way I would consider marriage right now, regardless of who it's with.

 

[ComicChick]

at work:

Guy: You work too much. Any guy you ever date is going to cheat on you cuz of it."

Me:

i never asked for the opinion and it completely caught me offguard. true or not i dunno but still.

on a side note, i think i need more guy friends lol

 

[Bubonic]

Thing is, the guy is just opening a window into how he'd treat you.
So sure, there are a lot of guys that might take advantage of their girlfriend or wife's time spent at work, but it shouldn't be something that plagues your mind.

You should trust your judgment in men enough to know the one you settle on won't be that much of an ass.

If any of your girlfriends ends up going out with this guy coworker, let them know about that convo.

 

[ComicChick]

this dude is actually married with kids and at least 10 yrs older than me. i dont know why he felt compelled to share his opinion, yet even formulate one on the subject

 

[Anita18]

this dude is actually married with kids and at least 10 yrs older than me. i dont know why he felt compelled to share his opinion, yet even formulate one on the subject

Says a lot on how he might be treating his wife and teaching his kids.

 

[Bubonic]

Yup, the world is filled with *******s.

 

[Erzengel]

So last night I was at a party with a few friends, and they all brought up the subject of me being forever alone. Nothing new. So as I sat there through their own version of Hardball with Chris Matthew and the No Spin Zone with O'Rielly, I answered the typical "No, I'm not talking to anyone", "No I haven't had sex yet", "yes, there is a girl I like", etc etc...

The girl I like was brought up, and me being me, I was reluctant at first to show them who it was. My friends hung out with that big certain crowd in town that knows EVERYONE and EVERYONES drama (I was never into that kind of thing). Eventually I showed them who it was, and they all got horrified looks on their faces and told me to stay away from her. Not because she's ugly or anything, but how "mentally unstable" she is.

I come to find out that she got her ex beat up because he cheated on her and stuff. That wasn't the reason he was beat up. He was beat up because she put bruises on herself and lied to say that he beat her, when he never did. While I figured something was up with her, I never really expected it was that extreme. Also, while I know it's just be smart to stay away from her and stop talking to her, I can't bring myself to. Like, I'm willing to take that risk.

Mentally unstable girls can be "fun", but in the end you'll regret it. It's not worth it dude, she will drive you insane and not in the good way. You should think long and hard before you end up getting beat up, jailed, losing your job, or something along those lines because she got pissed at you for any variety of reasons.

 

[Erzengel]

at work:

Guy: You work too much. Any guy you ever date is going to cheat on you cuz of it."

Me:

i never asked for the opinion and it completely caught me offguard. true or not i dunno but still.

on a side note, i think i need more guy friends lol

Do you work more than 40 hours a week?