The Last Crusade of Relationships

[SuperMike335!!]

No **** her man she played me and she know she played me. She never gave me an explanation on why she did not show up when she knew we was suppose to chill. A real person regardless of the situation would not of ran away or played somebody. Like I said she has a history of doing this to other people. So **** her I'm moving on to bigger and better things.

What do you think her motivation was for playing you?

 

[Daniel Thompson]

What do you think her motivation was for playing you?

To stroke her own ego that she was the ****. so you see no wrong in what she did? Her not even letting me know why she never showed up? You respect people that are flakes and phonies?

She did this before to a guy I know, they was suppose to go hang out and chill but she flaked on him aswell at the last moment. She only talked to me when she was bored.

Almost everytime we talked phone either get disconnected or she say I call you back and never do. Now I was not harrasing her with phone calls or texts, I call her and text her and we talk, but she still flaked out on me at the end by not showing up, leaving her phone off so I could not call her and not telling me why she never showed up.

 

[BrollySupersj]

To stroke her own ego that she was the ****. so you see no wrong in what she did? Her not even letting me know why she never showed up? You respect people that are flakes and phonies?

She did this before to a guy I know, they was suppose to go hang out and chill but she flaked on him aswell at the last moment. She only talked to me when she was bored.

Almost everytime we talked phone either get disconnected or she say I call you back and never do. Now I was not harrasing her with phone calls or texts, I call her and text her and we talk, but she still flaked out on me at the end by not showing up, leaving her phone off so I could not call her and not telling me why she never showed up.

Holy hell...I thought I was the only one...this very same thing happened to me back in April last year. The only difference for me, was I had to drive 45 minutes to see her. She canceled on me like 5 minutes after I LITERALLY got into town. I stopped talking to her after that, two months later, she decided text me asking how I was. She repeated this situation two times prior.

I told her plain and simple, we had nothing more to talk about. She hasn't texted since. Total victory!

 

[Daniel Thompson]

Holy hell...I thought I was the only one...this very same thing happened to me back in April last year. The only difference for me, was I had to drive 45 minutes to see her. She canceled on me like 5 minutes after I LITERALLY got into town. I stopped talking to her after that, two months later, she decided text me asking how I was. She repeated this situation two times prior.

I told her plain and simple, we had nothing more to talk about. She hasn't texted since. Total victory!

Well yeah ya situation was worst by far. With me she just did not pick up her phone cause she turned it off and wasted my time. I do not care what anybody says man I hate flakes.

If she did it this time, most likely she like ya female friend would do it again. Does not matter if it was a date or just hanging it, if you agreed to chill with me and not showed up you played me.

I cussed her out for that through text msg tonight cause she still not pick up the phone. She replied back by saying '' say what you want but my pockets is fat, have nice night''.

 

[BrollySupersj]

Well yeah ya situation was worst by far. With me she just did not pick up her phone cause she turned it off and wasted my time. I do not care what anybody says man I hate flakes.

If she did it this time, most likely she like ya female friend would do it again. Does not matter if it was a date or just hanging it, if you agreed to chill with me and not showed up you played me.

I cussed her out for that through text msg tonight cause she still not pick up the phone. She replied back by saying '' say what you want but my pockets is fat, have nice night''.

...huh?

 

[Daniel Thompson]

...huh?

Slang term for I got alot of cash.

 

[BrollySupersj]

Slang term for I got alot of cash.

I sure you hope you laughed at that.

 

[SuperMike335!!]

To stroke her own ego that she was the ****. so you see no wrong in what she did? Her not even letting me know why she never showed up? You respect people that are flakes and phonies?

She did this before to a guy I know, they was suppose to go hang out and chill but she flaked on him aswell at the last moment. She only talked to me when she was bored.

Almost everytime we talked phone either get disconnected or she say I call you back and never do. Now I was not harrasing her with phone calls or texts, I call her and text her and we talk, but she still flaked out on me at the end by not showing up, leaving her phone off so I could not call her and not telling me why she never showed up.

I take it you were the one doing all or most of the initiating of contact?

 

[SuperMike335!!]

Well yeah ya situation was worst by far. With me she just did not pick up her phone cause she turned it off and wasted my time. I do not care what anybody says man I hate flakes.

If she did it this time, most likely she like ya female friend would do it again. Does not matter if it was a date or just hanging it, if you agreed to chill with me and not showed up you played me.

I cussed her out for that through text msg tonight cause she still not pick up the phone. She replied back by saying '' say what you want but my pockets is fat, have nice night''.

You know, if you want to burn down a bridge, you might as well really BURN it down. t:

If that's the last thing you got from her send back "ohh, I see, my bad, had I known you were busy with a john I would of been more understanding, sometimes work gets in the way, its all good".

 

[Dark Raven]

This is exactly why I suggest guys not spend a lot of time getting to know a girl over the phone and through texts before a date.

1. Some women see it as needy, or getting overly invested too fast, it seems to be an almost universal turn off

2. More importantly, all your eggs are in one basket. If that basket sinks you are alone.

So, next time, even when you got a girls number, and set up a date with her, go ahead and go for the number of the next cute girl, or 10 that you see.

Its ok to set up multiple dates with multiple girls, just try not to double book yourself.

This helps you avoid over investing in any of them, and if you get flaked on you got a backup.

Although it could backfire, I would agree with most of this, especially at an early stage. When you've over invested in one girl, it puts the pressure not only on the potential relationship but also the date. Everything seems magnified, and you begin to overanalyse things - words she said or didn't say, why she did or didn't do something, what it meant etc. It's hard to keep a casual and relaxed approach to it, which is exactly what is needed. You can't be yourself or relate in a way that is spontaneous, because you're basically put on the spot.

With several different people that takes the heat away and you can treat each as if you were just doing something that is completely normal and everyday for you, especially because there is a lesser expectation.

It might seem counterintuitive to do this, especially if there's one person you particularly like, but it's almost doing the opposite of what you think you should do and that actually is more likely to produce a favourable result.

 

[AndThePickles]

So, he and I have been talking about sex and moving in together and stuff lately. Nothing uber concrete, just talking about it. He's been looking at a few apartments and was wondering if I wanted to join him. Though I admit that it sounds nice, I'm worried it's too soon in our relationship to move in together. I don't want to hurt things between us by moving in together too fast.We've been dating since October 28th and became an official thing Christmas Eve for the unaware.

As for sex, it's a similar thing. I want to at some point, but I don't know if I'm ready for it right now.

He isn't putting any pressure on me for it (thank God), but I still don't know what to do

Waaaaay too soon, I think. You've only been dating for a few months, and he's the first guy you've ever dated. Too much commitment and not enough experience are a bad combo when it comes to something as serious as living together.

 

[SpideyVille]

I think it is definitely too soon to move in. I wouldn't even consider moving in with someone unless we were dating for at least a year or two, just because its a big step and you want to make sure that there is some lasting connection between the two of you, other than him just being the first real boyfriend you've had.0

Things like this are where age is not as much of a factor, but rather mental maturity. You worried about him talking to his ex, then getting a ticket with him, then about the fact that he hadn't kissed you for a while. Imagine how much more complicated things will get if you're together most of the time. You'll start worrying about other things, like if he didn't get home when you expected him, or what would happen if you guys couldn't afford the rent. Not to mention, all of your insecurities will be magnified just because of how much you'll be around him and how much more he'll see you. This is a decision that shouldn't even be considered at this stage of the relationship. You both have a lot of growing up to do as people and as a couple before you start making big decisions like moving in together, or even sex to some extent.

 

[Nell2ThaIzzay]

It's your cue to NOT call her for at least a few days. Maybe even follow that with 'pocket dial'

I got pocket dialed the other day by this girl I haven't really talked to much lately, but she's been flirty with me lately, and touchy, and seemingly trying to get my attention. Then I get a random "pocket dial" from her. Heh.

But in other news, I've got some date planning I need to get on.

 

[Anita18]

To stroke her own ego that she was the ****. so you see no wrong in what she did? Her not even letting me know why she never showed up? You respect people that are flakes and phonies?

I don't respect flakes, no. I'll still be friends with one but I certainly wouldn't invest so much time and energy into getting to see them if I knew they might flake out. I just figure there's no point in getting angry with them, because there's nothing you can do to make them think anything they did was wrong. So why waste my energy?

I think it is definitely too soon to move in. I wouldn't even consider moving in with someone unless we were dating for at least a year or two, just because its a big step and you want to make sure that there is some lasting connection between the two of you, other than him just being the first real boyfriend you've had.0

Things like this are where age is not as much of a factor, but rather mental maturity. You worried about him talking to his ex, then getting a ticket with him, then about the fact that he hadn't kissed you for a while. Imagine how much more complicated things will get if you're together most of the time. You'll start worrying about other things, like if he didn't get home when you expected him, or what would happen if you guys couldn't afford the rent. Not to mention, all of your insecurities will be magnified just because of how much you'll be around him and how much more he'll see you. This is a decision that shouldn't even be considered at this stage of the relationship. You both have a lot of growing up to do as people and as a couple before you start making big decisions like moving in together, or even sex to some extent.

Er, I'm not sure if that has anything to do with insecurities. Sometimes it's just really weird seeing your partner all the time when you're not used to it.

I know a couple who were together for almost 10 years before finally moving in together, after doing the LDR thing right through college. They said they weren't sure if they were going to survive the first few months of living together, simply because they weren't used to seeing each other all the time. So it isn't necessarily true that more time in the relationship (or more experience) means you'll be more able to handle it more readily. What's most important IMO is being able to communicate your needs.

My current bf is the first bf I've ever moved in with, he's my second bf EVER, and it was very much smooth sailing in the 4 months we had together before he moved away. I think a HUGE reason was that we are both introverts and very much understand each other's need for alone time. I didn't get at all offended if he said he wanted to go out by himself for a bit. It didn't mean that he was gonna go off and see another woman. It just meant he wanted to go off by himself for a bit, and it had nothing to do with not wanting to be with me. If your relationship is strong, he'll always come back to you. You really need that trust, and be able to communicate that in order for a co-habitation to work.

So only you can decide when you're ready for that.

 

[Godzilla2000]

I was just thinking of this, don't know why, but some people are puzzled when a guy/girl complain about having girls/guys literally throwing themselves at them. Now me, I'm not puzzled by that reaction at all. Why you might ask? Well, when the person in question is looking for something a bit more meaningful than just sex it can get downright frustrating to have so many people lunging at you just because of physical attraction and nothing more. I can really empathize with people looking for a much more supportive, long lasting relationship. Once the sex is no longer and the endorphins have run dry they're gone. I like to call those Hi then Bye, flash in the pan, no strings attached relationships the Hollywood Style dating scene.

 

[hopefuldreamer]

I cussed her out for that through text msg tonight cause she still not pick up the phone. She replied back by saying '' say what you want but my pockets is fat, have nice night''.

You 'cussed her out'? What did you actually say to her that brought out a response like that?

 

[hopefuldreamer]

To stroke her own ego that she was the ****. so you see no wrong in what she did? Her not even letting me know why she never showed up? You respect people that are flakes and phonies?
.

I just wanna tell you about a situation I had with this guy not too long ago.

It's a guy I've known since school. He likes me... But I'm pretty sure he likes a lot of people, as I know at least one other person he was texting a lot as well.

He came out one night and even though he doesn't drink, he offered to buy me and my two friends a drink. As soon as I finished it he offered to buy me another.

Now, I will say right here, I very rarely say no to a free drink, especially from a friend. I do not feel that it means I owe you anything.

But I declined because I didn't want to lead this guy on.

We were talking about old gameboy games and things, and I said that I'd just dug mine out but couldn't find any games. As he was driving out to the next town where there is an old games store at the weekend, he said he'd see if there were any there and give me a ring. So I gave him my number.

Which I was reluctant to do, because the last time I gave the guy my number just thinking we were friends that could hang out, he texted and called a bit too much, and was talking bout being lonely and wanting a girlfriend, so I backed off.

He works at the video store, and every time I went in he kept letting me rent them from free, which was getting a bit much as well... But it's hard to tell if someone's just being a mate or trying to buy you sometimes.

Anyway, I got a bit tipsy and we were laughing and reminiscing about school and stuff. There were other people there, but we were having our own convo. He insisted on buying me a couple more drinks, which by this point I did not decline as my resolve was down (and I am honestly skint )

The next day he sent me general chatty texts, which I replied to in a general chatty way. The second day he tried to do the same and I started to back off again, ending my reply with 'Have to go now, maybe see you again soon'.

He then sends me his entire weeks work schedule and asks me to pick a day I'm free to go out.

I respond that I don't like making concrete plans cause I never know what's going on, but just to give me a bell sometime as I'm usually out and about (trying to make it clear I don't want a DATE, but am cool to hang out as friends as long as he doesn't see it as more than it is).

Are you seeing any similarities here between my situation and yours?

Cause it seems a bit like I'm your flakey phonie girl in this situation, but it's certainly different from the other side.

 

[Nave 'Torment']

Asked her out.

Took her to the most boring place we could've imagined to eat.

Had a blast.

 

[hopefuldreamer]

Asked her out.

Took her to the most boring place we could've imagined to eat.

Had a blast.

I always think the best dates are the ones that are awesome because of the person, not the place

 

[Dark Raven]

Well if people are really feeling that way, good riddance, you shouldn't want to be with them anyway. Honestly, people would probably reject me in person once they found out (which doesn't take all that much conversing) that I have a stutter. My friends don't mind of course, but for someone looking for a relationship, they usually don't want to take the time to "get to know me" for me to get comfortable with them.

Sure I had to be attracted to the guy first, but I wasn't looking for Brad Pitt. All the guys I met were pretty different looks-wise. I'm sure most women are equally flexible. It was really the profile that got me - I was looking for someone who liked to develop themselves and are eager to continue learning.

What if your looks are such that no-one is ever attracted to you physically, and the only way a girl could like you is by getting to know your personality and character in person (not through reading a profile)? Wouldn't that mean that online dating (where you're judged by your photo) wouldn't ever work for some because they'll be automatically dismissed as a potential candidate?

 

[Erzengel]

I've seen some really attractive females, date, get engaged to, marry way below their attractiveness level.

I'm also not one for settling, but I think that some guys should realize their limitations and stop aiming for the 100 point hole in skeeball.

 

[Dark Raven]

I've seen some really attractive females, date, get engaged to, marry way below their attractiveness level.

I'm also not one for settling, but I think that some guys should realize their limitations and stop aiming for the 100 point hole in skeeball.

But isn't that because they've gotten to know the guy in person and experienced that guy's personality? However, if they just saw a picture of him before getting to know him, they might not even entertain the possibility of getting past the physical appearance. You could be the most charming, witty, personable guy in the world, but how would someone know that if they only see you or a photo of you and dismiss you because you don't look like their type?

That's why I'm wondering whether online dating works for everyone because it's not geared towards people getting to know your personality, which can be very different from just reading answers in a profile. It might not be suitable for some.

 

[hopefuldreamer]

I've seen some really attractive females, date, get engaged to, marry way below their attractiveness level.

Personally I think that's an insecurity thing.

I mean, I would never in a million years go for a guy above my attractiveness level (unless he had a really bad social reputation that made him unattractive to most women, like an ex addict) because I'd be too paranoid.

I don't wanna date a guy whose quite short cause then I'll feel too tall. I don't wanna date a guy whose skinny cause then I'll feel too fat.

Equally, I don't wanna date a guy who is smoking hot, cause then I'll feel like his ugly bird. I'll have to deal with all his mates asking him why he's with that 'minger', deal with the dirty looks from all the hot and popular girls that WANT to go out with him and can't understand what he sees in a girl like me.

I'd put myself at a 7. I'd like to find myself a good 6/6.5.

That way i'd feel like the guy appreciates me more/feels lucky to have me. And I will feel more attractive because I will BELIEVE honestly that he thinks I'm hot.

Whereas, as depressing as this sounds, if a guy is that much hotter/fitter than me, I wouldn't understand WHY they would find me attractive physically.

Reading all that back, I know it sounds awful... But what can I say? It's the honest truth!

 

[hopefuldreamer]

But isn't that because they've gotten to know the guy in person and experienced that guy's personality? However, if they just saw a picture of him before getting to know him, they might not even entertain the possibility of getting past the physical appearance. You could be the most charming, witty, personable guy in the world, but how would someone know that if they only see you or a photo of you and dismiss you because you don't look like their type?

That's why I'm wondering whether online dating works for everyone because it's not geared towards people getting to know your personality, which can be very different from just reading answers in a profile. It might not be suitable for some.

Yeah agree with you 100%.

I'm not looking for a stunner, but you can't fall for someone because of their charisma/chemistry with you unless you meet in person.

 

[Erzengel]

But isn't that because they've gotten to know the guy in person and experienced that guy's personality? However, if they just saw a picture of him before getting to know him, they might not even entertain the possibility of getting past the physical appearance. You could be the most charming, witty, personable guy in the world, but how would someone know that if they only see you or a photo of you and dismiss you because you don't look like their type?

That's why I'm wondering whether online dating works for everyone because it's not geared towards people getting to know your personality, which can be very different from just reading answers in a profile. It might not be suitable for some.

Or it's that lesser attractive guys try harder. I know this couple like that and it was mentioned that he knows how lucky he is and tries very hard.