Nah, I'm not worried that I am gonna cheat, it's just kind of funny how adamant he is that I am going to. To answer your question, yea I'm in a sexless relationship, and I'm not sure if that's going to change or not. She's told me she wants to wait until marriage, I've told her that I don't. She's told me the reason why she wants to wait, it's not a morality thing like it's wrong to have sex before marriage, but because she had felt uncomfortable with the physical element of her past relationship. She said it wasn't like an abusive thing or anything like that, she just always wondered to herself if she was doing the "right" thing or not...
Soo... we've talked about it, she's been receptive to having the conversation and seemed to respond well to everything I've said, and she seems to be kinda trying, even if only a little bit, but I'm still not certain how far she's willing to go and how much she's willing to change. Thus, I am fully aware that this may be a relationship that isn't going to give me everything that I'm looking for - and I'm not just talking about sex, but her general lack of intimacy period. I'm still trying to figure out if this is a work in progress, or just how she is and not gonna change.
But because of that, my friend swears that I'm gonna cheat, and I have a few other people yesterday, when I wasn't even talking about my girlfriend, bring her up and tell me that we're already doomed because of her lack of intimacy and such. I'm not worried that I'm gonna do it just cuz they said I will be, but it was a frustrating day having everyone tell me that stuff out of nowhere.
First of all, what I'm about to say is possibly applicable to you now, but I would hazard to say it *might* be too late. Because you are aware of her morals on sex you can't act indignified if this doesn't work, which unfortunately is usually how you'd play it under other circumstances. You have talked however, and you're best bet may be to continue to talk it out because that may be the corner you'll find yourself in.
Hoo-boy! So obviously you know I'm prone to be a bit sexually aggressive, and I fully admit I am. Usually I go about it one of two ways, I either try to go for casual intimacy like arm around her, maybe a little kissing or making out later on, and then just take her back somewhere private. Generally when I go about it that way I can get far enough to make sex a very real possibility. So if I don't get sex I try to at least get a few clothes off so she'll be comfortable the next time doing the same thing. Or the other way is if she bites on some sexual comment or starts talking about sex herself then I'll ask her if she wants to. With the former it's all about making so saying no to the next thing is almost kind of unnecessary because you're already 90% of the way there anyways.
Problem for you is that kind of aggression and passion is going to be coming from a person who, unlike someone else, can't simply start unbuckling her belt like he doesn't already know. You guys have talked about it a lot! You can't play coy, or dumb, or confident, or indignant when she says no because it won't be a surprise.
You can have as many morals as you want, but no matter what you can't control how that ultimately makes you feel. Plenty of girls take chastity vows only to be quite satisfied when they break them. The only way you'll convince her to do that is if you make what physical contact you can have fun. I'm sure she's quite awkward, but honestly an unawkward person, in my opinion, overpowers the awkward one.
Part of the problem probably is her anxiety about physical intimacy is making you anxious. In order for her to relax you have to relax even when she isn't. You may even, I dunno, like try some game like Twister (I know it sounds corny) so you'll get more comfortable around each other's bodies. Or maybe just like say like "let's spoon and watch a movie". Make it structured if it need be.
Personally I think spontaniety works 100% of the time.
Also, I think people like yourself often mis cues. I know that sounds cliche' but I think really it comes from a misunderstanding of what a "cue" is. To this day I'll often get caught up in what someone's
saying and ignore what they're
doing. Saying and doing happen concurrently. This is why I think so many notorious womanizers will say things like "man, I never hear what she says, it's always blah blah blah" to their guy friends. It's because what they're really saying is "my brain is focused on what she does and how she behaves, I consider what comes out of her mouth to be secondary". Honestly, what people say changes by the minute. Jon Stewart made a career because of this. What they do though is habit. Habit is important.
The girl I'm currently dating came inside after our date. So we were sitting there on my couch with my arm around her, and it's getting past 9:30. We're not talking about making out, she's not making references to wanting sex, but
she's still here when she has work tomorrow. If she wanted nothing she would simply leave, because work is money, and so she must be hoping something pretty bold happens in the next ten minutes or there is simply no reason at risking showing up late to a very early job. So that's what a cue is.
See every woman wants sex, doesn't matter what chastity vow they've taken, if they're around sexually active males the odds of keeping it are slim (statistically this is damn true). There is a time in the day when she wants it and just can't help that urge. The good news for you is you're already her boyfriend so if she gives it up she's giving it to you. You don't have to worry about whether she finds you sexually attractive -- she does or she wouldn't be your girlfriend.
So if you can get her to just have some casual intimacy and you see a change in her behavior, then you'll know she may want more. You're trying to make her reason her way out of this, and I just think ultimately that's spinning your wheels. Because the more you bring that scruple to the forefront of her mind the more stubborn she'll become about it. I find her beliefs amusing and strange, but ironically I bet her phobia of intimacy (or whatever) probably stems from her knowing that even a little intimacy may be enough to make her break that belief.
face every time he tried to do something like that. When I tell you not to do something to my pet, I effin' mean it. 
t
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) or deep-seated religious fears.
