The Amazing Spider-Man The Spider-Man reboot caption thread

[ultimatefan]

MR. FANTASTIC: Our film franchise has been dead for far longer than yours, how the hell are you getting your reboot first?!And if you say "prep time" or compare our box offices I swear I´ll wrap around you and crush you like a boa constrictor!!
SPIDER-MAN: Huuuuuuuh... I´m just too darn cute?

 

[Panthro]

MR. FANTASTIC: Our film franchise has been dead for far longer than yours, how the hell are you getting your reboot first?!And if you say "prep time" or compare our box offices I swear I´ll wrap around you and crush you like a boa constrictor!!
SPIDER-MAN: Huuuuuuuh... I´m just too darn cute?

Kick his ass Reed!

 

[ultimatefan]

Thanks!

 

[ultimatefan]

CAPTAIN: I can´t believe this!
SPIDER-MAN: Why didn´t we do anything to stop this?
IRON MAN: Too late to weep, guys. This time Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are split for good.

 

[ultimatefan]

CAPTAIN: I can´t believe this!
SPIDER-MAN: Why didn´t we do anything to stop this?
IRON MAN: Too late to weep, guys. They´re making another Resident Evil movie.

 

[Panthro]

CAPTAIN: I can´t believe this!
SPIDER-MAN: Why didn´t we do anything to stop this?
IRON MAN: Too late to weep, guys. They´re making another Resident Evil movie.

I wonder just how many times tabloids have reported Pitt & Jolie to have split up... probably more than the various tabloids claiming Jennifer Aniston to have finally become pregnant.

 

[ultimatefan]

Thanks!

 

[ultimatefan]

WEBB: Good news, Logan! You´ve been confirmed to play Spider-Man!

LOGAN LERMAN: Oh,that´s amazing! I´m so excit...

WEBB: No wait, you haven´t!

LOGAN LERMAN: Huh, what?

WEBB: Wait wait, now you´re confirmed again!

LOGAN LERMAN: What the hell are you doing, man?

WEBB: Oh, nothing, we´re just trying to keep the fanboys going crazy with the suspense and biting each other´s heads off in useless arguments as long as possible!

LOGAN LERMAN: Huh, okaaaay, I guess... Can I have water and some food here in the meanwhile?

WEBB: No.

 

[Panthro]

WEBB: Good news, Logan! You´ve been confirmed to play Spider-Man!

LOGAN LERMAN: Oh,that´s amazing! I´m so excit...

WEBB: No wait, you haven´t!

LOGAN LERMAN: Huh, what?

WEBB: Wait wait, now you´re confirmed again!

LOGAN LERMAN: What the hell are you doing, man?

WEBB: Oh, nothing, we´re just trying to keep the fanboys going crazy with the suspense and biting each other´s heads off in useless arguments as long as possible!

LOGAN LERMAN: Huh, okaaaay, I guess... Can I have water and some food here in the meanwhile?

WEBB: No.

Bwahahahahahahaha

Brilliant

 

[ultimatefan]

Thanks a lot!

Hi, I´m the Spectacular Spider-Man. I star in this excellent show that captures the spirit of the Spider-Man comics like no other animated series ever did.

DISNEY/MARVEL EXECUTIVE: Yeah, isn´t it great? Too bad we decided to cancel the show!

What the f***?!

DISNEY/MARVEL EXECUTIVE: Yeah, but don´t worry, we´ll create a new one. Except it won´t be really a new one, it´s gonna be the same premise starting from scratch all over again?

And what is the point of that, exactly?

DISNEY/MARVEL EXECUTIVE: The point is that, instead of telling the Peter Parker/Spider-Man stories the fans want to see, we´ll use you as an excuse to shoehorn appearances of second and third tier Marvel characters no one gives a crap to, isn´t that exciting?

 

[Panthro]

Thanks a lot!

Hi, I´m the Spectacular Spider-Man. I star in this excellent show that captures the spirit of the Spider-Man comics like no other animated series ever did.

DISNEY/MARVEL EXECUTIVE: Yeah, isn´t it great? Too bad we decided to cancel the show!

What the f***?!

DISNEY/MARVEL EXECUTIVE: Yeah, but don´t worry, we´ll create a new one. Except it won´t be really a new one, it´s gonna be the same premise starting from scratch all over again?

And what is the point of that, exactly?

DISNEY/MARVEL EXECUTIVE: The point is that, instead of telling the Peter Parker/Spider-Man stories the fans want to see, we´ll use you as an excuse to shoehorn appearances of second and third tier Marvel characters no one gives a crap to, isn´t that exciting?

That is and at the same time.

 

[kedrell]

I just don't get what people liked so much about that series. But then, I'm not really a Spidey fan. The only character in his whole mythos I like is Venom(original Eddie Brock, accept no substitutes) and they did him up in that show ala' ultimate Venom which I detest, so there ya go.

 

[Panthro]

I just don't get what people liked so much about that series. But then, I'm not really a Spidey fan. The only character in his whole mythos I like is Venom(original Eddie Brock, accept no substitutes) and they did him up in that show ala' ultimate Venom which I detest, so there ya go.

Really ked? Huh. Interesting. I've been having a hard time getting back into a Spider-Man mood myself.

But I do agree I prefer original Schwarzenegger-Brock Venom to young Ultimate Venom. I grew to like TSSM for its writing, even though I wasn't fond of the character designs.

 

[ultimatefan]

Thanks Panthro!

Im a fan of the show, so this news was a major bummer.

 

[kedrell]

For me it was less the art designs than the characterizations(again, this is mostly Venom). For me it's O.G. Macfarlane Venom all the way.

 

[ultimatefan]

ANNOUNCER:Wanna know what´s going on with the Spider-Man film franchise? Very well.

In spite of its box office success, Spider-Man 3 wasn´t quite as well received by fans as the first two...

In spite of a lot of productive creative progress, Sam Raimi and the studio couldn´t reach an agreement about the next sequel, which was scrapped...

So the studio decided to reboot with a young promising director...

...And make Peter Parker a teenager again to restore the character´s fresh and original roots.

 

[ultimatefan]

SPIDER-MAN: C´mon, who got The Spectacular Spider-Man cancelled?! It has to be one of you evil bastards!

GREEN GOBLIN: Are you kidding? I was one of the star villains of that show!

DOCTOR DOOM: Doctor Doom is a man of honor! Plus, I was hoping to get a guest appearance...

LEX LUTHOR: I am many things, but stupid isn´t one of them! That idea was downright ******ed!

JOKER: I may be a psychopath who wants nothing but to spread chaos and anarchy, but even I have my limits!

MICKEY: YOu fools, only I could have concocted such a masterpiece of perversity, BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

SPIDER-MAN: I think every time that mouse laughs, an angel is sodomized.

 

[Panthro]

ANNOUNCER:Wanna know what´s going on with the Spider-Man film franchise? Very well.

In spite of its box office success, Spider-Man 3 wasn´t quite as well received by fans as the first two...

In spite of a lot of productive creative progress, Sam Raimi and the studio couldn´t reach an agreement about the next sequel, which was scrapped...

So the studio decided to reboot with a young promising director...

...And make Peter Parker a teenager again to restore the character´s fresh and original roots.

 

[Panthro]

SPIDER-MAN: C´mon, who got The Spectacular Spider-Man cancelled?! It has to be one of you evil bastards!

GREEN GOBLIN: Are you kidding? I was one of the star villains of that show!

DOCTOR DOOM: Doctor Doom is a man of honor! Plus, I was hoping to get a guest appearance...

LEX LUTHOR: I am many things, but stupid isn´t one of them! That idea was downright ******ed!

JOKER: I may be a psychopath who wants nothing but to spread chaos and anarchy, but even I have my limits!

MICKEY: YOu fools, only I could have concocted such a masterpiece of perversity, BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

SPIDER-MAN: I think every time that mouse laughs, an angel is sodomized.

Bwahahahahaha

 

[ultimatefan]

MR. FANTASTIC: Jesus, which part of Deoxyribonucleic polymerase tetrahydrocannabinol transcodification don´t you understand?!

 

[ultimatefan]

NOLAN:Yes, Marvel, fanboys complained about Batman: Brave and The Bold before it aired and now they love it, but Batman: The Animated Series wasn´t cancelled after only two seasons to make room for it, as you did with The Spectacular Spider-Man.

 

[Chris Wallace]

WHO loves B&B?

 

[ultimatefan]

WHO loves B&B?

From what I hear, a lot of fans, actually. I haven´t seen it myself, but I may check it out at some point.

 

[ultimatefan]

WEBB: Yes, indeed we wanna take Peter Parker into a completely fresh restart that has nothing to do with the previous movies, which is why we´re hiring the same guy who wrote or re-wrote all the previous movies...

 

[SpiderByte]

Nice!