The Temple of Doomed Relationships

[Erzengel]

Random, but I know we talk a lot about introverts vs extroverts around here, thought that this article was really interesting, particularly this statement:
Read more: http://ideas.time.com/2012/01/26/do...shy/?iid=op-main-lede&hpt=li_c2#ixzz1kgqO3VLp[/COLOR][/LEFT]

People have to be very careful on labeling themselves. I mean there are a lot of people who are very introverted but those who just haven't dropped a pair and refuse to talk to someone out of fear of rejection and just need an excuse as to why they can't.

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

Go out with her on Saturday, and make a physical move. Tell her to meet you at your place, and you will decide where to go from there, or whatever you do on a date, get her over to your place before that. That should be your number one goal. Her to your house or apartment, with what looks like the least about of investment on your part.

To the poster this was directed towards.

If you already have a place picked out to go on a date and there haven't been any explicit discussions of having sex I wouldn't try to lure her to your place right away. You can always ask "do you want to meet me at my place?" and at least this gives her the opportunity to give another option. I can be pretty forward about sex and I am a home body sometimes but my house is also pretty active. For those who don't live in the heart of a sizeable city off the main street goading girls to come over is a pretty translucent tactic. Good for hook ups but bad for people you actually want to date. If she wants to go out it means she's at least somewhat uncertain on whether she's ready to sleep with you, and there's nothing wrong with that. Sometimes you need to let people go at their own slower pace. As long as they're keeping you around and you're making some progress.

Btw Angel hasn't posted here in a while. I'm guessing that means she's finally getting some.

 

[Erzengel]

I've seen her in other threads. Not sure if not posting here, is necessarily a good or bad sign.

 

[Lily Adler]

I need an update, that screenplay for that teen drama isn't going to write itself.

 

[Boy Scout]

Ok, this does not look good. That actually sounds like it will come off as creepy.

I'm not just popping up unannounced. We both agreed that we should talk in person more, and I took the initiative and asked to meet her by her locker. I would never think of just showing up without invitation or prior notification. That would just be weird.

This looks like a guy who is bothered by the situation with a girl who he has already emotionally invested in, and has become outcome dependant, to the point where you are being bothered with not being able to communicate with her much.

You're pretty much right on the money. And I'm able to recognize that now.

I don't think it's smart for me to be so emotionally invested in a girl who isn't even my girlfriend. So I'm just going to back off for a little bit, chill out, and approach the situation again from a more nonchalant point of view. Whatever happens, happens. I'm not going to cry if we never get together.

Going out of your way to chat with her is destined for the fail. Saying hi to her, in the mornings and evening makes you come off as sweet, but not sexy.

I completely agree. That has to stop.

It exposes that you have put her up on a pedestal, which is the last thing you want to do, as she will be looking down on you from that pedestal.

I think that's what I've done. And like I said, that has to stop. I'm going to take a short break let things flow naturally. If this is going to happen, it's going to happen on my terms, not hers.

In the words of Master Yoda, this is why you will fail. No more chatting her up, you need to grow a pair and ask her out or move on.

 

[terry78]

When it gets to the point where she is trying to get in touch with you more than you are with her, that means you're doing it right. A busy guy is an instant panty dropper.

 

[SpideyVille]

So is there really a limit to how young you can date someone? I mean obviously 18 should be the youngest legally? But is there some cutoff as to how young you can date once you reach a certain age?

 

[Anubis]

Depends on the state.

Some go as young as 16.

 

[Sloth7d]

Or the country.

Some go as low as-

*looks at wikipedia*

Oh My God No!

 

[Anubis]

Yup.

 

[Boy Scout]

When it gets to the point where she is trying to get in touch with you more than you are with her, that means you're doing it right. A busy guy is an instant panty dropper.

That's the plan.

 

[SpideyVille]

Well there's this girl that I'm sort of interested in. She's part of the stage crew in the play that I'm in, and she was just promoted to stage manager so I see her at most rehearsals. The problem is she's a freshman in college, and tomorrow I'm turning 23, so that would make me 5 years older than her. Everyone that I've talked to has said that I shouldn't even be looking under 20, which I can agree with to some extent. But I don't know, maybe there's potential here. I'm just worried that I might look creepy if I go after her, or if she would even want to date someone older. Bad enough I liked a freshman when I was a senior in high school and that didn't really go down as planned.

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

Well there's this girl that I'm sort of interested in. She's part of the stage crew in the play that I'm in, and she was just promoted to stage manager so I see her at most rehearsals. The problem is she's a freshman in college, and tomorrow I'm turning 23, so that would make me 5 years older than her. Everyone that I've talked to has said that I shouldn't even be looking under 20, which I can agree with to some extent. But I don't know, maybe there's potential here. I'm just worried that I might look creepy if I go after her, or if she would even want to date someone older. Bad enough I liked a freshman when I was a senior in high school and that didn't really go down as planned.

Don't see a problem. Girls like older guys anyways, especially underage girls as you can buy them alcohol.

 

[hopefuldreamer]

Well there's this girl that I'm sort of interested in. She's part of the stage crew in the play that I'm in, and she was just promoted to stage manager so I see her at most rehearsals. The problem is she's a freshman in college, and tomorrow I'm turning 23, so that would make me 5 years older than her. Everyone that I've talked to has said that I shouldn't even be looking under 20, which I can agree with to some extent. But I don't know, maybe there's potential here. I'm just worried that I might look creepy if I go after her, or if she would even want to date someone older. Bad enough I liked a freshman when I was a senior in high school and that didn't really go down as planned.

What's the legal age where you are?

I mean, over here it's 16. And yeah, if a 23 year old starts dating a 16 year old, it's frowned upon even though it's technically legal.

But a 23 year old guy dating an 18 year old would be totally the norm. Even 17 would be accepted by most.

 

[Hawkingbird]

My friend has a thing for a 20-30 year old...she's 16

 

[terry78]

^ And has your "friend" ever attempted anything with one?

 

[hopefuldreamer]

Biggest age gap i've had for a crush/fling was 29 years.

It ended pretty quick though, cause no matter how good looking I found the guy (in a very George Clooney way ), when I found out the actual gap, it was just a bit much for me

 

[SpideyVille]

I'm pretty sure 18 is the legal age here.

And I had two friends who got married a few years ago when the girl was 19 and the guy was 25. I had just met them a month before the wedding so I don't know what issues might have been there when they first started dating the year before.

 

[hopefuldreamer]

I'm pretty sure 18 is the legal age here.

And I had two friends who got married a few years ago when the girl was 19 and the guy was 25. I had just met them a month before the wedding so I don't know what issues might have been there when they first started dating the year before.

Then i'm guessing theres more social stigma for you if 18 is the boundary, than it is over here where 18 is two years past the boundary... I don't really know how to advise you.

Like I said, it'd be fine over here... there's nothing wrong with it... but if that's a different case over there then maybe it's not worth the hassle.

 

[terry78]

Basically my issue is what would you have in common with someone that much younger or older than you aside from sex.....ohhhh.....

 

[SpideyVille]

I think it would've been easier had I still been in school, but since I just finished and will graduate in a few months, it does seem more weird. But right now she's into theater like I am and she's been admiring my artwork and stuff, so I'm trying to use that as a way of seeing her alone outside of rehearsals and getting to know her better. Its hard to do when we're all together because there's so many other people around and its always been hard for me to try and stand out in a good way.

 

[TerryMcGinnis]

So today I officially went off the deep end. I sneaked a peek into one of my buddies chat log, while he was in the bathroom, to look at a conversation he had with a mutual romantic interest. :S

I'm in deep shame over this, I never did anything like this before in my life and it felt almost as if it was someone else doing it. I fear that if he finds out, I'll lose a friend and possibly more.

I've stooped incredibly low and I'm beating myself up about it since.

 

[SpideyInATree]

My friend has a thing for a 20-30 year old...she's 16

Depending on what state you live in she could end up suckering some guy into rape.

 

[SuperMike335!!]

^ Try this thread: http://forums.superherohype.com/showthread.php?t=317945

So he asked me out for dinner now and even though I really like him. I think the age thing is a little strange. He's actually 39 about to turn 40 next month and I'm afraid if we start dating I would feel like the 'twinkie in the city'.

Okay, how old are you?

Age is not that big of a deal, its more about the connection anyway.

 

[SuperMike335!!]

Well there's this girl that I'm sort of interested in. She's part of the stage crew in the play that I'm in, and she was just promoted to stage manager so I see her at most rehearsals. The problem is she's a freshman in college, and tomorrow I'm turning 23, so that would make me 5 years older than her. Everyone that I've talked to has said that I shouldn't even be looking under 20, which I can agree with to some extent. But I don't know, maybe there's potential here. I'm just worried that I might look creepy if I go after her, or if she would even want to date someone older. Bad enough I liked a freshman when I was a senior in high school and that didn't really go down as planned.

If she is 18 fair game.

Biggest age gap i've had for a crush/fling was 29 years.

It ended pretty quick though, cause no matter how good looking I found the guy (in a very George Clooney way ), when I found out the actual gap, it was just a bit much for me

That's nothing to worry about, my ex golddigger wife is 25 and her live in boyfriend is 55, a fat guy too.

Her own words were "since you screwed me out of all the money I needed to find someone to take care of me".

I then asked "how do you deal with his saggy old balls?" The look on her face. She looked like she wanted to kill me. t: