Why Do Girls Like jerks?

[jaguarr]

very true. most girls don't ever learn that lesson though. this girl i used to date got back with her abusive ex boyfriend because she was "in love with him".

I never said all girls become women.

jag

 

[Fran]

I was talking to some of my coworkers at work and one of them who happens to be a female (Katy)was telling how guys should act towards women.She was saying that girls like guys who are confident ect and this guy kind of interrupts and says "act like a a$$hole", that'll work. Even Katy admiited that girls like jerks which sucks becuase nice guys like me never get anywhere. It's been like that all of my life. I can never get the girl that I want but I get the left overs(you know what I mean) instead.

Interesting theory. I can relate to it.

This past summer, I dealt with a girl like that. I got to know her, took her to my prom and hers (wasn't that hard to know her, she's my buddy's aunt (she's only 19)) and she just kinda stopped talking to me.

Turns out she ended up dating this one guy I met (a friend of a friend). He was a complete prick to me, and only treated her nice. I treat everyone with respect, but I guess I didn't deserve it. One day, I told her how I felt about the situation, and her. She said she wasn't liking it anymore at all, it was hell.

Pretty soon after that, she dumped him, and we have been a couple ever since The best months of my life.

 

[Dark Phantom]

See, its not all about the "Jerk" vs "nice guy " that attracts women. You forget many factors to this superficial world.

Sure, the "Jerk" may have confidence which a girl might admire, but the "jerk" is too generic to compensate for this broad concept. Think about it. You could be the most confident guy around, but if you don't have the looks, the popularity or the resources there's no chance you can attract a girl. I see some of the biggest losers in my school thinking they're on cloud 9, when sadly no one can give a s*** about him. The first thing either sex first looks at is apperance. If you do not have an appearance that the girl approves of..... your screwed. Realistically, men have to strive for women who are on their level. If you are popular among your own group of friends then any girl who has a connection with that group, you will get achance with. Remember, it's not about who you are, but what your friends think you are. Again, strive for women who are in your own circle of friends and try not to go beyond the limit or else you'll face dissapointment. Sadly, some girlfriends might see you only as a friend. There are no guarantees.

i could ramble on more, but i need to gather my thoughts

 

[jaguarr]

Remember, it's not about who you are, but what your friends think you are.

I'm sorry, but that very well may be the single worst piece of self-help advice I have ever seen. Shakespeare was on the money when he wrote:

"This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.
Farewell; my blessing season this in thee!"


Happiness truly comes from within and living up to your own principles
and ideals, not everyone elses. Be who YOU want to be, not what or who
everyone else thinks you ought to be. If you are secure and
confident in yourself, others will be too. And, don't forget,
everyone looks at everyone else through their own perceptional
filters so very rarely will anyone actually see the real you anyway.
Be yourself. Project yourself and who you are to others. Let them think
what they will.

jag

 

[Crooklyn]

Again, strive for women who are in your own circle of friends and try to go beyond the limit if you want to face dissapointment.

I'm sorry, but with a cute face and a whole lotta charm...that statement just doesn't apply.

 

[jaguarr]

I'm sorry, but with a cute face and a whole lotta charm...that statement just doesn't apply.

I think we may have a self-defeatist in our midst.

jag

 

[Matt]

I was talking to some of my coworkers at work and one of them who happens to be a female (Katy)was telling how guys should act towards women.She was saying that girls like guys who are confident ect and this guy kind of interrupts and says "act like a a$$hole", that'll work. Even Katy admiited that girls like jerks which sucks becuase nice guys like me never get anywhere. It's been like that all of my life. I can never get the girl that I want but I get the left overs(you know what I mean) instead.


Ladies, why do like guys that act like *******s?

Girls don't like jerks. Its just that jerks are better looking than you

 

[C-$]

Girls don't like jerks. Its just that jerks are better looking than you

......I'm sexy. I think.

 

[InsaneMembrane]

umm if you mean is a jerk to others but not her, then I think that might be what attracts her, I'm a girl and I can tell you that is part of the attraction it makes seem like your special that he is just nice to you and only you it stupid but I've seen the mindset

 

[Dark Phantom]

I'm sorry, but that very well may be the single worst piece of self-help advice I have ever seen. Shakespeare was on the money when he wrote:

"This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.
Farewell; my blessing season this in thee!"


Happiness truly comes from within and living up to your own principles
and ideals, not everyone elses. Be who YOU want to be, not what or who
everyone else thinks you ought to be. If you are secure and
confident in yourself, others will be too. And, don't forget,
everyone looks at everyone else through their own perceptional
filters so very rarely will anyone actually see the real you anyway.
Be yourself. Project yourself and who you are to others. Let them think
what they will.

jag

Yes, I know its bad advice. I'm not that shallow of a person. My quote is only a fact of highschool that most have to abide by, I'm afraid. If people want to be true to themselves, then by all means do it. Heck, I'm not changing myself for anyone. Yet the fact remains, classmates only look at the facade. They see what they want to see. That's why there are cliques in middle school and high school. Because if you don't share in common interests, people will not want deal with you. Teenagers today have the attention span of squirrel. If your not interested in what they like, they become bored and try to ignore you. I've learned this from bitter experience. So you know what I did? I found people who did share in my interests. So I forgot about all those other superficial groups.

What i'm trying to say is that everyone should stay in their place. Stay among your friends that like you because chances are other groups of kids will have no use for you. So if you see a girl that you like, make sure you and her have alot in common. It's all about communication! If you have good social skills, you will get far. Otherwise, don't get dissapointed over the really hot chicks who end up as b*****s

 

[jaguarr]

What i'm trying to say is that everyone should stay in their place. Stay among your friends that like you because chances are other groups of kids will have no use for you. So if you see a girl that you like, make sure you and her have alot in common. It's all about communication! If you have good social skills, you will get far. Otherwise, don't get dissapointed over the really hot chicks who end up as b*****s

In life, but especially at your age, people should be branching out and trying to experience other walks of life and other people's points of view. You never know when you may discover a new place that you belong that you never would have otherwise, or when you'll learn something valuable from another at the very least. The only boxes we get stuck in in life are the ones we put ourselves in. And, no one ever laid on their death bed whispering "I wish I'd taken less chances and not made so many options and choices for myself and experienced so much in life.".

jag

 

[cryptic name]

See, its not all about the "Jerk" vs "nice guy " that attracts women. You forget many factors to this superficial world.

Sure, the "Jerk" may have confidence which a girl might admire, but the "jerk" is too generic to compensate for this broad concept. Think about it. You could be the most confident guy around, but if you don't have the looks, the popularity or the resources there's no chance you can attract a girl. I see some of the biggest losers in my school thinking they're on cloud 9, when sadly no one can give a s*** about him. The first thing either sex first looks at is apperance. If you do not have an appearance that the girl approves of..... your screwed. Realistically, men have to strive for women who are on their level. If you are popular among your own group of friends then any girl who has a connection with that group, you will get achance with. Remember, it's not about who you are, but what your friends think you are. Again, strive for women who are in your own circle of friends and try not to go beyond the limit or else you'll face dissapointment. Sadly, some girlfriends might see you only as a friend. There are no guarantees.

i could ramble on more, but i need to gather my thoughts

this is so untrue it's scary

 

[ComicChick]

there isn't enough female perspective in here, so i'll add my two cents.

i don't like jerks, i'm not attracted to them.

i think a person's character can best be judges by how they act when they think no one is looking. i've seen a couple guys that i thought were "hot" only to completely lose interest when i saw how they acted when they thought no one was paying attention.

guys that are jerks, or act like jerks don't appeal to me. i don't see any real depth to them, and that's not what i'm looking for. i want depth.

 

[jaguarr]

there isn't enough female perspective in here, so i'll add my two cents.

i don't like jerks, i'm not attracted to them.

i think a person's character can best be judges by how they act when they think no one is looking. i've seen a couple guys that i thought were "hot" only to completely lose interest when i saw how they acted when they thought no one was paying attention.

guys that are jerks, or act like jerks don't appeal to me. i don't see any real depth to them, and that's not what i'm looking for. i want depth.

Gentlemen, what we have here is a real live woman. Not a girl. A woman.

jag

 

[ComicChick]

Gentlemen, what we have here is a real live woman. Not a girl. A woman.

jag

thanks so much Jag.

 

[Paradoxium]

It's a bit long, but its an insightful writing.

THE SECRET OF THE JERK

Excerpt:

No, your eyes are not mistaken. The guy with the beautiful woman is a jerk and/or ugly guy! What is he doing with her? Can she not see? Has she not eyes?

Alas! The poor male looks around, knows not who to turn to, and eventually sums up that the universe is a cruel and mysterious personnage who deals out no answers, offers no solutions, and gives out no explanations especially for the enigma of all enigmas, the beautiful woman! Obviously, something is amiss. How do these ugly to average looking guys get such babes? How do these cruel, stupid, barbaric males get these feminine jewels? Are they following a special trick? Are they super 'confidant'? What is their secret? Or are they even aware of their secret?

But what if nothing is amiss? What if this is all correct to the will of Nature? Where leaves the Don Juan?

Oh, there she is! The beautiful woman! The ornament of the world! The dream in flesh! She stands aloof on the platform and says, "Gentlemen! How are you to win me?"

And around the platform, a thousand mouths cry:

"Confidence."
"Humor."
"Patterns."
"Kino."
"Chocolate."
"Poetry."
"By ignoring you."
"By totally focusing on you."
"Puffed muscles."
"Flowers."
"Spikey hair."
"Endless gifts."
"Mirroring."
"Leather jackets."
"Eliciting values."
"Sparkly clothes."
"Bouncy personality."
"Romance."
"Dinner. Lobster!"
"Compliments."
"Guitar songs."

And she laughs only to say, "These are very well and good, gentlemen. But are you not aware that imitation is suicide? You forget that confidence is experience, that puffed muscles are not to be a masculine dress, that any guy can buy me lobster, and that countless many can sing the guitar songs. Are you so unaware of what I need?"

But a lone voice speaks from the floor: "You, madam, are to win me! For I am the prize to be won!"

And with that, she giggles in glee. "For every one of you, there are a thousand guys willing to offer me the above. It is cute that you are different. But why am I with the ugly guy at the end? Why do I prefer the jerk?" And with this the lone voice had no answer.

Then comes the great exclamation: "Because he is a man!"

"Yes but no," she snobbily laughs.

"Because he is disrespectful."

"He is that but no."

"Because he is an animal."

"Not at all!"

"Because he has super ego!"

"True, but no."

"Because he wears his cap backwards!"

"Hah!"

"Because he is rough and mean."

"Nope!"

And then a golden arrow shaft of voice pierced the confusion, penetrated deep within the truth, spread those warm gooey moans of ecstasy throughout, and made her come with such surprising clarity that she screams in delight. For the voice said,

"Extreme masculinity!"

"Oh Pook!" she smiled in radiance. "How right you are!" And all the guys' mouths turn into a big O as the beautiful woman ran off the platform into the arms of Pook.

Having satisfied none of her demands, what she ends up with (the ugly/average guy) becomes seemingly contradictory. Extreme masculinity? What answer can that be?

Oh women! Can you give us no explanations other than the ones that send us off the cliff? Can you not explain yourselves to our perplexed male minds? Alas, it is like speaking to a block. She gives expressions but not answers. She gives demands but not secrets. How smart men may be until they enter a bar! How knowledgable they seem until they're before a woman!

The Mystery of Mysteries

There are three mysteries to the world: the rise and fall of civilizations, fruitcake, and why beautiful women go for jerks.

Leaving fruitcake and the rise and fall of civilizations for other posts, let us concern ourselves with why beautiful women go for jerks. WHAT IS NATURE'S SECRET?

And, likewise, a sea of mouths with authoritative tongues chant out the usual 'answers':

"Confidence"
"Dominance
"Unpredictability"
"Hard to get"
"Selfishness"
"Rudeness"

And so on. These 'experts' or 'wise sages' merely look at the jerk as a fixed element and classify personality traits or even physical traits. Fools adopt the personality/physical traits. But imitation is suicide.

Why go for the fool's gold when the real gold is in your grasp?

 

[ShadowBoxing]

See, its not all about the "Jerk" vs "nice guy " that attracts women. You forget many factors to this superficial world.

Sure, the "Jerk" may have confidence which a girl might admire, but the "jerk" is too generic to compensate for this broad concept. Think about it. You could be the most confident guy around, but if you don't have the looks, the popularity or the resources there's no chance you can attract a girl. I see some of the biggest losers in my school thinking they're on cloud 9, when sadly no one can give a s*** about him. The first thing either sex first looks at is apperance. If you do not have an appearance that the girl approves of..... your screwed. Realistically, men have to strive for women who are on their level. If you are popular among your own group of friends then any girl who has a connection with that group, you will get achance with. Remember, it's not about who you are, but what your friends think you are. Again, strive for women who are in your own circle of friends and try not to go beyond the limit or else you'll face dissapointment. Sadly, some girlfriends might see you only as a friend. There are no guarantees.

i could ramble on more, but i need to gather my thoughts

Worst advice ever. Especially the extra part I underlined. Women who are in your circle of friends are just that; your friends...and trying to make a girlfriend or one night stand out of a friend is like trying to make diamonds out of coal with your bare hands. Perhaps not totally impossible if you have the powers of a God, otherwise you're screwed...and in the end you'll still end up with a broken hand.

Confidence is more or less what "Playas", "Jerks" and the "diserable" populace have in spades...and quiet frankly a lot of the resources and popularity they have is a direct result of this confident and outgoing nature. If you have neither popularity or resources it's a safe bet you lack confidence as well. The meak, unfortunately, will not inherit the earth; at least not in this lifetime.

It is, in effect, how you preceive yourself that ultimately affects how others view you. I develop a following of friends in gyms because first and foremost I am determined, goal oriented and show excellent sportmenship while inside...not because I wear the best workout clothes or know the management, however in many cases those material and external rewards come to me.

Perhaps you've heard the phrase "successful people make their own luck". This is very true of relationships. You'd be surprised how many "is she really going out with him" guys exist out there merely because they are charming and know how to talk to women...looks, popularity or no, they have mastered a skill most of us never will.

Lastly to go back to your comment, staying within a group of friends is a horrible idea. It takes away from the experimentation aspect of relationships. Maybe most people see one night stands as degenerate, but unlike my Christian friends who married virgins I won't find myself one day wondering if maybe I should have married a freakier woman or wonder why my sexual appetites aren't what I expected....I will, by then, have a decent idea of what turns me on and what doesn't. And that's important. I haven't dated a Japanese woman, Goths, Strippers, or any black women....but there is a chance that they'd really turn me on, and if I stayed in a niche' group I'd never come to realize this. Trust me, you don't want to be 50 and realize an experience you could have had has passed you by.

 

[jaguarr]

Being a jerk does not equal masculinity, extreme or otherwise.

jag

 

[Paradoxium]

Read the entire post within the link. That is an excerpt. Pook equates extreme masculinity with healthy amounts of testosterone.

 

[jaguarr]

Read the entire post within the link. That is an excerpt. Pook equates extreme masculinity with healthy amounts of testosterone.

Yeah, that's a poor relation to make as well.

jag

 

[Mr Sparkle]

"Nice guys" as I am referring to here are not actually nice, they are in fact doormats who are willing to do anything to get a girl and are overly afraid of stating both their feelings and intentions.

"Jerks" or guys with confidence and game aren't necessary really actually ass****, just that they employ different tactics than say a "nice guy" (or guy with social interaction problems) that don't involve doting, being overly PC (which often results in a lack of humor), giving too much information about yourself on first encounters.

hmmm, well then yeah, you're right, it's just that see, by Nice guys I mean actual nice guys ( you know, attentive, chivalrous,whatever), and by Jerks I ment idiotic, misogynistic neanderthals ( which. surprise, surprise SOME women are more attracted to) and was stating how either camp could get some and this whole "nice guys don't get any"maybe totally applies to high school ( and maybe not even all through high school).
but yeah, I guess we kind of agree then

 

[Mr Sparkle]

Being a jerk does not equal masculinity, extreme or otherwise.

jag

*slow clap* someone gets it. thank god.

 

[Asteroid-Man]

Girls dont like jerks, *****s like jerks

 

[ShadowBoxing]

hmmm, well then yeah, you're right, it's just that see, by Nice guys I mean actual nice guys ( you know, attentive, chivalrous,whatever), and by Jerks I ment idiotic, misogynistic neanderthals ( which. surprise, surprise SOME women are more attracted to) and was stating how either camp could get some and this whole "nice guys don't get any"maybe totally applies to high school ( and maybe not even all through high school).
but yeah, I guess we kind of agree then

Yeah, I totally understand what you were getting at now. You were using "nice guys" in the real sense, as to mean guys who are nice. Whereas I was using it to describe the group that finishes last in relation to women.

 

[Paradoxium]

Alright since most people think that is the full thing I will cut that post up. Judge it in its full writing!

Why go for the fool's gold when the real gold is in your grasp?

There are things so simple in Nature and life that we utterly confuse them and ourselves with our stupid philosophies (jerks don't need websites like these!). Sexuality is one of these. Our countless reading of seduction over the internet is full of months if not years. Where has this got you? Yes, you feel you are always right on the edge of THE SECRETS to end your heartaches and tensions but, at the end of the day, you are still in front of your computer.

Someone said to me, "What an odd definition of Man you gave, Pook! A guy not afraid of his testosterone? Surely it is more heroic."

But it is entirely about testosterone. Girls are attracted to GUYS, not wimps, not nice guys, not chumps, but GUYS. Rather then trying to build and discover some killer philosophy to ease your troubles, why not accept the structure Nature has already set up? The secret of the jerks is that it is so widespread, common, and plain that since it is all around us we can't even distinguish it.

Nature is process, always seeking and devouring. Nothing remains set; everything's in cycles. Rather than classifying the ACTIONS of the jerk and merely DUPLICATING them, let us adopt the SOURCE so the actions come natural and without thought or effort.

Pook stands on the fruitcake and calls the crowd around him.

Gentlemen! Do say: what type of woman will the Nicest Nice Guy attract?

"Sperm whales."
"Hags."
"B*tches."
"Uglo girls."

Indeed! What trait commonly unites all these girls that end up with the pathetic Nice Guy?

Silence.

Gentlemen! Your silence most offends me! Sure, these girls may be sweet. Sure, they may be smart. Sure, they may be many things. Yet, there is one thing that they aren't. They are not feminine. They are not girlish.

The men nod.

And, likewise, what are these Nice Guys, these blobs of appeasing rolls of gooish flesh? Are these the men of the world?

"NO!"

These boys are not exactly feminine, but they certainly aren't masculine. They are neither. They are the androgenous blob who, without a spine, is clay to fit to any woman's desires or whims. Nice guys love women as a drowner loves a life preserver. He clings on to her because he cannot swim the waters of Nature. Tossed and tossed he becomes through his love life.

The Masculine Male

Pook walks toward a bubbly Nice Guy with a needle of Man-ness.

"No! The prick will hurt me!"

Fine, die a painful long death of Regret, Loneliness, and Frustration. Any other takers?

Another Nice Guy volunteered.

See? This fella knows that a momentary pain is prefarable to consistant suffering.

Pook puts the shot into the Nice Guy and injects him with testosterone.

Now, gentlemen, watch the effects.

The Nice Guy no longer fears what he desires. He sees the woman he wants. He approaches her.

Why do jerks approach women? To marry them? No! The jerk is operating not out of control with 'that head down there' but rather being influenced properly by his testosterone. He sees what he wants and goes and gets it. He does not apologize for it. He does not try to rationalize it. He does not analyze it. There are no stupid philosophies running around in the jerk's head.

The Nice Guy gets rejected by the woman!

Oh oh! Poor Nice Guy! But look, something is changing. Look at the anger building up in him. Something is being charged within him. It is frustration. It is anger. The worst thing for him to do would be to cry and duck his head in the sand. Constant rejection requires one of two solutions: either lower your standards or increase your standards in yourself.

But it is true that standards do not enter the jerk's mind. He gets frustrated and angry. He tries again with MUCH LESS awkardness. Nature's system is at work here, chiseling his social exterior. He gets the dates.

The Nice Guy gets dumped after a few dates.

Oh dear! What happened!? Why, perhaps the Nice Guy was trying to mock earlier jerk behavior and remetamorphed into an AFC eventually before his chick! Imitation IS suicide. No wonder chicks are so hard for honesty!

Do jerks really care on pleasing the women in the spirit of altruism and glorious relationship?

"Yes."

Hush you! The jerks obviously DO NOT care about the women in such a manner. Their testosterone says, "I have needs that need to be fulfilled. Entertain me." And so the jerks come off self-centered not because they ARE self-centered, but because they are closer to their own male nature and seek to satisfy their thirst.

The nice guy sees that fun is merely being around a beautiful woman. The jerk is a bit more... active. He wants to have fun his way. She is along for the ride.

It has been well known that action dates (ex: dancing, bowling, rock climbing, etc.) work MUCH BETTER than regular dates (coffee, dinner, movie, etc). Rather than merely matching the effect (the action date), let us focus on the cause.

The jerk would obviously skateboard and play basketball than to sit at dinner and watch the girl flap her gums. Testosterone has been shown to create more ACTION in the individual. Jerks (i.e. testosteronized males) do the action NATURALLY. Rather than worrying about making yourself do action dates, get yourself in that natureset and action dates will become the only comfortable choice you could make.

The Nice Guy gets dumped because he hardly made any moves.

Oh no! We know how the girl gets mistreated and will talk to her girly friend (the nice guy) about it. We see the abuse and we think, "Oh heavens! Am I to be abusive to get the girl?" What is this abuse? Is she really hurt? Or is she merely mad that she has failed in her mission: to sterilize and link to the masculinized dude?

"But the guy stands her up all the time, etc. etc."

It is not because he stands her up. It is because she knows she is not loved by him. Her feminine powers are not ensnaring him. It is a feminine failure.

The girl sleeps with the jerk and he leaves her. We, as guys, think the abuse is the jerk sleeping with the girl merely to 'use' her (and motherly harpies try to feminize us into not doing 'this'). Rather, the 'abuse' is that the girl realizes she could not keep the guy. She 'was not woman enough'.