X3: Rewrite-A-Scene

taintedFB

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This is our chance!

To rewrite scenes the way they should have been!

For example:

Xavier and Storm in the hall.

Xavier: Storm, I haven't thought of you as my student in years.

Storm: Professor.

Xavier: In fact, I wanted to tell you that you've done very well filling in for Scott these past few months.

Storm: How is he?

Charles: He took Jean's death so hard. He was planning on proposing to her when she died.

Storm: Really?

Xavier: Yes. But Scott is strong. Stronger than anyone gives him credit for. He'll come around.. with the help of his friends.

Storm: Scott's not just a friend, Professor. He's family.

Xavier's face changes.

Storm: What? What is it? What's wrong?


THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT. SHOWING THAT THEY GIVE A DAMN! AND NOT GIVING UP ON SCOTT!

Rewrite your scenes here!

AND PLEASE LET'S KEEP IT SERIOUS, NO SILLY JOKEY STUFF.

Can't wait to read'em.
 
Wolverine: "Hey, if you wanna go be sure it's what you want"

Rogue: "You're right! I shouldn't take the cure... in fact, I'll be part of the final battle and kick some Brotherhood ass"
 
final battle
*x-men form a line between humans and mutants.*
wolverine - hol... *loud thunder*
storm - hold this line!
 
re-write just a scene??.....i would re-write the entire film
 
taintedFB, great thread!

Scott stands back up from the fall and talks toward Jean:

Scott: (whispers in awe) ...Jean?...Jean is that you?

Jean: Scott...*smiles gently*

*They hug.*

Scott: You are all that I've been thinking about these past few-- (Jean interrupts)

Jean: I know...I know.

Scott: ...I love you

Jean: I love you too...

*They kiss. Jean pulls back after a few seconds.*

Jean: Let me see your eyes.
And so on...
 
Rewrite a scene?

*The ground troops arrive at the Alcatraz complex, and begin firing cure darts towards all of the mutants. Phoenix stops them telekinetically. The rage of the Phoenix begins to manifest itself. Jean's eyes go black, and she begins to rise in the air. Destruction surrounds the mutants, as Phoenix begins destroying the complex.*

Cyclops: Storm, get everyone to safety.
Storm: Scott...
Cyclops: Go! I'm the only one that can reach her.

*Storm flies off, as her and Wolverine begin taking everyone to safety*

*The Alcatraz complex continues to fall into ruin from Jean's powers. The waters of San Francisco Bay begin to rise hundreds of feet into the air around the island. Cyclops looks around, taking in all the destruction, and then turns to look back at Jean, surrounded by fire and destruction, as if Hell itself were being unleashed upon Earth, and Jean was the messenger of destruction*

Cyclops: JEAN!

*Cyclops marches up along the debris towards his lover, Jean Grey. She is telekinetically trying to throw him back, but he is fighting against it. The struggle between Jean and the Phoenix is apparent... Phoenix wants to destroy Cyclops, but Jean wants him to succeed in what he must do. Cyclops, with his uniform torn and ragged, and many severe cuts and abbrassions on his body, reaches Jean*

Phoenix: Fool, you would die for them?
Cyclops: No. Not for them. For you.

*Jean's eyes begin to return to normal*

*Tears pour down Cyclops' face from behind his visor*

Cyclops: I love you.
Phoenix: Scott... save me
Cyclops: I love you.

*Cyclops slowly reaches for his visor, taking it off. His eyes are closed once his visor is off, tears still streaming down his face. He takes Jean in his arms*

Cyclops: I love you, Jean.

*A shot high above Scott and Jean shows a huge optic blost coming from Scott. It lasts for a couple seconds, until it disappears. The camera comes closer to Jean and Scott, revealing a dead Jean Grey in Cyclops' arms, as he falls to his knees, still crying, with his eyes closed*

Cyclops: I love you.
 
Lengthy one :D

*FINAL BATTLE SCENE, WHEN ARMY SHOWS UP BEHIND PHOENIX*

*
The soldiers fire their cure guns at Jean, hundreds of cure-shots flickering across the screen.*

Wolverine: No- stop!

*The cure-shots disintegrate before they hit Jean, and she whirls around to face them*

Phoenix: You are the the cure. I am.

*Phoenix raises her hand in the air, and the entire army floats up off the ground, immobilized.*

*Storm, Shadowcat, Beast, Iceman and Colossus run up next to Wolverine, looks of pain and fatigue on their faces.*

Storm: Jean, stop! This isn't you!

*Phoenix thrusts her arm forward, and the whole army flies out into the water beyond Alcatraz*

Wolverine: Come back with us Jean....it's over. We can continue with the school where Xavier left-

Phoenix: Xavier! You....were with him, weren't you. Trying to tame me as well Logan.

*Phoenix turns to face the X-Men*

Phoenix: *fierce anger* I will not be tamed! I am the the cure! I am evolution!!!!

*Wind whips up around Alcatraz, and Phoenix spreads her arms wide, slowly rising into the air.*

Colossus: We must fight. She will destroy us all.

Storm: No! We cannot hurt her. She is an X-Man, just like us.

Wolverine: Tinman is right, we must do what we need to.....or there could be no X-Men left.

*Storm looks worridly up at the Phoenix, and a tear falls down her cheek.*

Storm: Alright X-Men. Let's do this.

*Storm's eyes energize with white energy, and floats up into the air, to match the Phoenix's height, now hundreds of feet above Alcatraz*

Phoenix: Join me. Let's cure the planet of these humans.

Storm: Jean please! I don't want to do this!

Phoenix: Oh, but I do.

*Phoenix's hair suddenly ignites, and her eyes flash a fiery red. Strands of golden energy begin curling out away from her, moving as if they were alive*

*Phoenix screams, and the air seems to shudder. Storm is pushed back through the air, up into the sky.*

*Seconds later, Storm bursts back down, lightning spiraling off of her body. She nosedives straight towards Phoenix, and slams into her. The two tumble back through the air, forms of red and blue energy crackling.*

Wolverine: Storm's gunna need help. Where'd Angelboy end up at?

(Voice) Maybe I can help

*The X-Men turn to see Callisto, Quill, Arclight and Psylocke walking forward*

*The X-Men get into a fighting stance, but the Brotherhood hold up their hands*

Callisto: Stop! This has gone beyond our differences now. If we work together we may be able to stop her.

Iceman: Why should we need your help?

Quill: Because Phoenix will destroy all of us if you don't accept it.

Wolverine: Okay, what's the plan?

Arclight: We need to borrow the X-Jet

*Storm and Phoenix burst up through the mists created earlier by Storm, energy crackling around their two forms.*

Phoenix: *laughs* Is this all my dear friend can do?!

Storm: Please.......stop...*screams*

*A tornado twists up from the mists, enveloping Phoenix. Storm then sends dozens of lightning bolts crackling into the funnel.*

*Everything goes silent, and Storm's powers begin to dwindle. The tornado disappears, to reveal Phoenix floating without any fire.*

Phoenix: *shakes her head* What?......Storm.....where am I?

Storm: Jean? Is that really you?

Phoenix: What's happening? Please help me.....

*Wolverine suddenly bursts through the mists below, claws out at the ready. He flies right at the Phoenix, and slashes her along the face*

Storm: No!

*Wolverine begins falling back down, but the X-Jet swoops up, catching him on top*

*Below the mist*
Arclight: Let's see- *she brings her hands up to her head* There! *she points up through the mists*

*Colossus picks up Psylocke, and throws her up through the mist*

*Psylocke flies up, psychic sword powered up. She slashes Phoenix along the stomach, and lands atop the X-Jet, where we see Iceman and Shadowcat steading the ship from the inside. Beast sitting in the back*

Phoenix: I am.......what? *She coughs up blood, and and her body begins to slump*

Storm: Logan, what have you done?

*Quill suddenly flies up through the mist, doing flips, spikes extended. He slams into the Phoenix, and is caught by the X-Jet*

Phoenix: Ughhh *She passes out, but her powers slowly lower her down through the clouds. Storm flies down next to her, descending by her side.

Storm: It wasn't supposed to happen this way. *Tears begin pouring down Storm's face*

*The two reach the ruins of Alcatraz, and Phoenix gently rests on the ground. Storm bends over her, cradling her*

Storm: Logan!!!!

*Above Mists*

Wolverine: Okay, truce is up.

*Wolverine rushes forward, and shoves Quill and Psylocke off the edge of the X-Jet, they tumble down to the ground*

Wolverine: Get down to Jean, now!

*The X-Jet begins floating down to the ground*

*Below Mists*

Colossus: You're turn!

Callisto: What?!

*Colossus picks up Arclight and throws her off the edge of Alcatraz, he runs over by Storm and Phoenix*

*The X-Jet lands, and the three others run out next to Storm as well*

*Wolverine sits down next to Storm, and take's Jean's form from her*

Wolverine: Not again. We've already lost you once. *He buries his head in her form*

*A small portion of Jean's clothes suddenly ignite*

*Wolverine reaches out, and tries to snuff out the flame, but it doesn't work*

*The flame spreads up further, and the X-Men jump back away from her*

Storm: What's happening?

Wolverine: I don't know!

*Jean is completely engulfed in flames now, laying with her back on the ground. Her arm suddenly reaches out sideways, grabbing the ground*

Wolverine: Everyone back!

*The X-Men shuffle backwards*

Beast: I think it's her mutation. Be she is still unstable.

*The flaming Jean climbs up to her feet. The screen rises up to her cindering face, and her eyes open, a bright golden.*

Phoenix: Where is Scott?

Wolverine: You....don't remember?

Phoenix: *flames bursting higher* Answer me Logan!

Wolverine: We don't know. You...you.......

Phoenix: *lowers her head to the ground* Yes, I remember now. I saved him.

Storm: Please come back with us Jean!

Phoenix: Storm, you were always a good friend. Logan, you always were too much of a bad guy for me.

Wolverine: Wait....what are you doing?

Phoenix: I am saving myself.

*Phoenix spreads her arms wide, and flies up into the air. Higher and higher, up into the darkness of the night sky. Her flames burn away the heavy mist as she rises.*

Phoenix: (telepathically) And I am sorry, for Xavier. He was like a father to me, a teacher.....a hero.

*Flames shoot out from Jean's form, turning into a bright golden-white fire. The fire arcs up, giving her the appearance of great fiery wings. A white explosion shudders outward, and the sky darkens once again*
 
*Jean's eyes begin to return to normal*

*Tears pour down Cyclops' face from behind his visor*

Cyclops: I love you.
Phoenix: Scott... save me
Cyclops: I love you.

*Cyclops slowly reaches for his visor, taking it off. His eyes are closed once his visor is off, tears still streaming down his face. He takes Jean in his arms*

Cyclops: I love you, Jean.

*Cyclops kisses Jean and She defeats dark phoenix and turns back to normal her life....

.Forever love with Cyclops forever
...
.[/quote]
 
Logan reaches Jean, she asks him if he would die for them, he answers : no, for you, for you.....she is surprised, stops destroying everything, she asks him to save her, he uses the cure with her.....she falls crying to the floor....

Ok, not perfect but at least she is alive....I hate her dying again...I wish Scott was also alive...too much death for me in X3
 
Scott - "Jean how"

Jean - "I dont know"

(Scott walks up to her)

Logan - "Wait"

Scott - "What do you want Logan"

Logan - "If you ever trust me once in your life trust me now. Step away from Jean"

Scott - "All right"

(Scott walks away with Jean just standing there & then Logan gets in front of Jean)

Logan - "Okay Jean do it I dare you. Then we will see who you really love"

(Scott turns his head to the Camera looking at the audience & then gives the audience a wink)

Jean starts to get firey

Logan - "Uh Oh"

Jean floats up & eventually turns into a Fire Bird"

Logan - "Jean what are you doing"

Jean - "You dared me Logan I accepted the dare"

(Logan looks down at Scott & says) "Thanks for trusting me at least once"

Scott - "N/P buddy see ya wouldn't want to be ya"

& then Jean opens her Mouth to a Firey Blast & the Fire gets so big to the point where you can see Logan & Jean anymore & when the Fire goes away both Logan & Jean are missing)

Scott - "I suddenly feel alot better"
 
This scene is still unfinished... I'll have to get around to it later.

JEAN
This has to be done, Scott.

Scott struggles to hold the tears he feels.

SCOTT
I don't want to lose you again Jean. I can't... I won't.

JEAN
I've never left you. And I will never leave you. I will always be here, with you.

SCOTT
I... just can't. Please Jean, don't make me do this!

A tear drops from Scott's right eye. Soon enough, more tears start to trickle down both of his eyes.

JEAN
There's no other way around this Scott. You know that.

Jean gives Scott a look. A look that pleas for him to end this. A plea asking for him to end all of this destruction.

JEAN
I can't hold back for much longer!

Jean and Scott have one last embrace. One last hug. One last kiss. Soon enough, tears have overflown from both Scott and Jean.

JEAN
Scott, let me see your eyes.

Jean gently grabs Scott's visor. In a slow but endearing motion, she lifts the visor off of his head.

JEAN
I will always love you Scott Summers.

Jean looks at Scott one last time. In her last moments, she remembers every one of her memories of Scott. Her and Scott. Together.

SCOTT
I love you Jean. I'm so sorry for this!

In a moment of undecidedness and reluctance, Scott opens his eyes. A red background suddenly fills the screen.

Angle on: Cyclops' face. He shuts his eyes quickly, realizing one thing. The destruction caused by Phoenix, has ceased. But with that, Jean Grey, his one true soulmate, is also gone.

Scott has a look of horror on his face. His realization of Jean truly dead has hit him hard. He falls to his knees, screaming in anger and sadness. He then looks up at the sky, and lets loose a powerful blast that could destroy even the most indestructable of mountains.

He stops. He grabs the body of the fallen Jean Grey, tightly holding her in his arms, screaming her name once more.

SCOTT
I'm so sorry Jean!
Scott stands back up with an empty look. He walks on by, past the rest of his teammates, carrying Jean in his arms.
 
Cool. Nice work guys. Very nice, Worthy, I see you know correct screenplay format. I opted not to deal with the formatting so much on the forum.

But here's my take on the FINAL BATTLE:

The military shows up and shoots their cure darts at Jean. She turns around furious. She raises her hands and the darts dissintegrate. She looks over the army as she levitates off the ground. She raises her hands and flames engulf her (like in X2). The military start to dissintegrate.

Logan is making his way up to her.

LOGAN: Jean! Don't! Stop it!

Jean looks down at him. He is nothing to her.

Meanwhile, Storm and the other teammates help people to safety. Storm looks back at the remains of the Golden Gate Bridge. She sees something, but we don't know what. A sad smile appears on her face, but only for a moment, and then she looks up, her eyes go white. She flies up into the air and floods the island with fog.

LOGAN: Jean, stop this!

PHOENIX: You! You desire me, though I've spurned your advances time and time again.

She hovers towards him.

Phoenix unleashes her rage at Logan. The flames around her grow into a bird like shape. She telekinetically lifts Logan off the ground so that he is in front of her.

PHOENIX: Poor Logan. You never understood. You're beneath me.

She starts dissintegrating his uniform, his skin. Even his adamantium is exposed and starts to dissintegrate.

Suddenly, an optic blast from behind knocks Phoenix to the ground. Logan drops desperately trying to heal his fatal wounds.

Jean gets up and turns around to see Scott Summers, whom she thought she'd killed. He is injured with bruises on his face. He is still wearing the tattered clothes from Alkali Lake.

JEAN: Scott?

She starts crying.

SCOTT: Jean?

Scott runs over to her. They hug.

JEAN: I thought I... Oh God.

SCOTT: It's okay. I'm okay.

JEAN: I love you.

SCOTT: I love you!

Behind Jean, Logan slowly rolls over to see Scott and Jean embracing.

Scott kisses Jean.

JEAN: Scott...

SCOTT: What is it?

JEAN: I'm losing...

SCOTT: No! Don't say that Jean. You can do this.

JEAN: No. I can't. The professor knew I couldn't. Oh God...the professor.

They both stand up, still holding on to each other.

JEAN: You have to stop it.

SCOTT: Jean. No...

JEAN: If you really love me, you'll do it. You'll save me...(changes) from this.

Jean hovers up in the air, dark, ablaze, and evil.

Scott steps back and looks up at her.

JEAN: Do it! Now! I can't hold it back much longer.

SCOTT: I love you, Jean.

He takes off his shades and unleashes a brief unfiltered optic blast. But it is enough to send Phoenix flying into the rubble behind her.

Scott puts his shades back on and drops down to his knees, crying. Logan slowly gets up. Storm looks on from the X-Jet. She turns to the team.

STORM: Stay here.

She goes outside.

Logan walks over to Scott and puts his hand on his shoulder. Scott smacks his hand away and runs over to Jean's body. She is still alive, but barely.

SCOTT: Jean? I'm so sorry.

Jean puts her finger on his lips to stop him.

JEAN: Thank you.

She smiles, then dies in his arms. Scott hugs her and weaps. Storm kneels beside him and hugs his as he holds Jean. Storm, too, is overcome by tears. Logan just stands back and looks down, devastated.

Dissolve to:

Jean and Xavier's tombstones. Scott standing over them. A huge amount of roses are in front of Jean's headstone. Storm walks over to him and puts an arm around him.

STORM: You did the right thing.

Scott sighs, then nods.

SCOTT: Come on. We've got a school to run.

Scott turns and walks back towards the mansions. Storm follows.
 
Ok i came up withsome funny ones.

Storm: Its time we make our choice if your with us then be with us, and if not then go wax the x-jet and use cold water keeps it nice and bright.

Logan: Im not your father but its still ok if you call me daddy.

Jean: Please kill me...again.

Logan: Look at me jean we can help you, we can make it like it was, losing weight isnt that hard.
 
Let's put the funny ones in a different thread. I'm trying to gather serious alternatives to what we got in the theater. We can start another thread to make fun of stuff...

Thanks.

OK, here's another:

BEFORE THEY HEAD OFF TO WAR:

Storm and Logan step out in uniform and start for the X-Jet. Colossus, Iceman, and Kitty follow.

LOGAN: Whoa, I think you guys should stay here. Let me and Storm handle this.

BOBBY: There's a whole army out there. You guys are gonna need help. We're not kids anymore.

STORM: No. You're not. But this isn't like the Danger Room. There's a real war going on out there. We might not all make it home.

BOBBY: We're ready.

STORM: I know you are. Let's go.

INSTEAD OF THAT HORRIBLE WOLVERINE SPEECH. KEEP IT SIMPLE. KEEP IT REAL!
 
Tainted and Worthy came up with some brilliant scenarios. They should've hired you guys to write the scenes with Scott. :up: :)

But of course, it would imply and basically confirm that the movie would've kicked all kinds of ass, and we know Rothman doesn't want any of the good stuff in the film. ;):p
 
Thanks. Actually, I went to school for screenwriting and am out here in L.A. trying to break in. I've already worked as an assistant on several TV shows, but I'm still trying to get an agent and meetings and stuff.

My goal is to write this kind of stuff and if I make it by then, I'd love to write X4! Hell, the whole next trology!

And Worthy's format is what a real script looks like FYI. I just don't use it here. I'm glad your enjoying our scenarios and this thread.

Keep it coming guys!
 
LastSunrise1981 said:
Tainted and Worthy came up with some brilliant scenarios. They should've hired you guys to write the scenes with Scott. :up: :)

Thanks. ;)

That dialogue wasn't great, but I don't write stuff like this too often.
 
Hey Worthy,

Maybe you and I should go over to X-Verse and open our own threads! Looks like Kinberg's never returning! And Penn's said all he's gonna say. LOL!
 
Awesome stuff, folks. Worthy, I really like your final battle scene.
 
Wolverine: I think she killed Scott...

Storm: Thats impossible!

Professor X: Scott? No...She couldn't have....

Wolverine: You didn't see her. You didn't see what she was like.

Storm: But if she was even willing to kill Scott...

Professor X: I tried to warn you...She's further gone then I thought...

Wolverine: No. I'm not going to believe that. I'm going after her.

Storm: Logan, Jean was one of my closest friends...but if she was willing to kill Scott...

Wolverine: No! I won't lose her again! *storms off*

Professor X: The poor fool...

Storm: Professor? Are you...crying?

Professor X: Perhaps I am, Ororo...

Storm: But just before when you were talking about Scott...

Professor X: What? Do you think that just because I said all that about Scott, that I won't mourn for him? Do you really believe me to be that heartless?

Storm: No, I...

Professor X: We need to go after Jean. Be ready in five minutes, Storm.

Storm:. ...Alright Professor.
 
WOLVERINE
Magneto's headed for Alcatraz!

In the distance, a figure appears from behind a doorway. It's Warren.

ANGLE ON: Angel. He knows what he has to do now.

CUT TO:

INT. MANSION HALLWAY
A worried Warren catches up with Hank, Logan and Ororo.

WARREN
I have to go with you guys!

All three adults turn to Angel.

LOGAN
Kid, it's a huge battle out there, and you aren't trained. We can't risk it.

WARREN
I know what Magneto's going to do. And my dad's at the center what he has in store. I can't let him hurt my dad.

Storm and Wolverine exchange glances.

STORM
For once I agree with Logan. I cannot risk having an untrained student go out there. It's too dangerous.

WARREN
As long as I have my wings, I'll be fine.

Hank looks at Warren. He sees the determination in Angel's eye. He then turns his attention to the other two.

HANK
The lad's not going to budge, Ororo.

(turns to Warren)

Am I right?

WARREN
Listen, I can go with you guys, or myself. If you haven't noticed, I do have wings that will fly me over there you know.

(pauses)

Listen, my dad might not have done the most responsible thing, but he's still my dad. And a human being. I love my dad to death, and I'm not just going to sit on hand and knee while god knows what happens to him. So, I can either ride with you all, or I can take myself. Either way, I'll be there. But it would be nice if I'm not tired by the time I reach Alcatraz.

Storm sighs.

ORORO

(pauses)

Hank, get Warren a suit. He'll need one.
 
taintedFB said:
Hey Worthy,

Maybe you and I should go over to X-Verse and open our own threads! Looks like Kinberg's never returning! And Penn's said all he's gonna say. LOL!

Heh, the wannabe screenwriter's thread. :p

Farren said:
Awesome stuff, folks. Worthy, I really like your final battle scene.

Thanks. ;)
 
LOGAN:Just be sure its what you want...
ROGUE: MIND YOUR OWN BUISNESS OKAY!!!I wasnt talking to you!!! Here have your stupid dog chain...
*Rogue throws Wolvie's dog chain in his face*
 

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