Yeah, I've been trying to save some money and its been hard all of a sudden since I've sort of become accustomed to this new life of actually having money and wanting to spend it.
But on the other hand, I feel like its better that I try to work through this with an expiration date in mind because it sort of gives me a deadline to work towards. Its easy to say "I want to get a new job first before I leave" and then spend month of letting that comfort prevent you from actually taking a step forward. So while I know it would be dumb to just leave like that, I also feel like it adds a bit of motivation to find somewhere else to go before then.
I always had direct deposit, so my money would magically show up in my savings account and I could go on pretending as if nothing has changed, because the check never got in my hands.
Also, when it's in a savings account, you can't just take it out willy nilly.
Having an expiration date is a good idea. I finally quit my job of 7 years, and I let my boss know 6 months beforehand, because he had to hire someone to replace me and I had to train her. But for the past few years, I'd been taking classes in my new field at the community college, and the last few months were all about networking meetups.
But all that requires a very understanding boss, because a lot of those classes were during the day and I had to do an evening shift in order to work and go to school at the same time. That's why I let him know I was leaving 6 months beforehand - I felt I owed him that courtesy.
Also, it doesn't help that you work with your SIL. Taking the initiative means doing things on your own, and she'll be wondering why you need to go off and do things.
You got some planning to do....
What is the problem exactly, if you don't mind my asking? I only ask because I sort of have the same problem. I really don't like my personal space being invaded and I rarely show affection, but I feel like that's something that changed as I grew older since I always used to hug my mom and stuff. But even with things like dancing or acting, its hard for me to build some comfort around others physically. I always say that I won't be like that with my future bride, but it still worries me because I know I need to make a move with a girl eventually, but I can't see myself doing it with my current reservations, even though I really want to.
But then there's also the issue of me personally not wanting to get in someone else's personal space. Like a lot of people have told me that I need a girl who will be aggressive and make the first moves on me because I probably won't do it on my own unless she tells me to. But that's mostly due to the fact that I want to be respectful and not do something that might inappropriate if the feelings aren't mutual.
I have this problem too. Still do. The only folks I feel comfortable violating personal space with are my cat and my husband. In that order.
My parents raised me to be uber-vigilant of other people's wants, and that resulted in me being super respectful of people's personal space, to the point where I don't like touching strangers. Other people can touch me in a friendly way, but I won't be the one to broach that.
SpideyVile, you know how slow my relationship with my husband first developed. The only reason he knew I liked him was because we met each other on an online dating site, and I kept agreeing to dates.
But I eventually got more comfortable around him, and here we are.
I grew up with a slight speech impediment that I used to be made fun of all the time because of. It's gone now, to the point where it sounds like I'm British for some weird reason lol. I think I sound like agent Fitz on SHIELD haha. But, another side of me remembers when it did sound like an impediment and a part of me asks, "is she just being nice to me because she has sympathy for me?" On a logical scale it makes no sense, but on the emotional level it still does. Don't know how to say this without possibly sounding offensive but afraid they view me as mentally ******ed because of it - although everyone just thinks I'm british (when I get anything, I get that). Or that their life is so terrible, I must be the only one they have open to them, which then makes me back away due to being a last resort.
I have a stutter, and was bullied for it as a kid. I didn't talk to ANYBODY.
It's a lot more manageable now, but I never got the idea that people were with me because they felt sorry for me. I'm a woman - woman are supposed to be chatty, and I thought having a stutter was a huge turn-off for guys.
The fact that my husband didn't seem to mind it at all when we first met (and I remember it was BAD) was something I noted right away.
Having a speech impediment doesn't mean you're stupid, but I think you already know that. Now it's convince your subconscious that it's true too.
I'm here now!
