Confession is good for the Hype. - - - - - Part 14

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I confess that I feel kinda bad. I posted a status on Facebook about bringing in an assistant from the UK for when I do Photography at conventions, and people like it. But the truth is, what I really did was order a face mask from the UK, and the plan is to where it as conventions because I have social anxiety and it's very hard for me to approach cosplayers to ask for photos, plus I feel like I'd stand out more to people that I'm photographing, so it kinda helps me build my name that way.

So I kinda feel bad about stretching the truth.
 
I have a confession to make.
I find myself thinking about women a lot. Maybe even a little too much. The thing is I have a problem not thinking of them sexually. I see a beautiful woman and I imagine myself doing things with each of them like kissing and holding hands. Then, those thoughts become sexual and I imagine myself doing things to them. Dominant, aggressive things. It is as if I can only think of women as sex objects. Valuing them only for their bodies. I can't stop picturing them naked. I expect sex from them. I expect them to be like the women you see in porn, or things like Penthouse and Playboy.


I feel as if my unhealthy view of women may have ruined women for me altogether. I see myself as a monster for feeling this way because this is not how I was raised. It often leaves me feeling embarrased and ashamed.
 
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