Do You Think The "Friend Zone" Exists?

[DarkSovereignty]

Oh dear...

 

[Charlie Boy]

I voted no, but I suppose it does exist in the minds of children and misogynists.

Accurate.

 

[Lencho01]

My definition of "friend zone" is when you become friends with someone, and after developing a nice friendship with them, you also develop feelings for them, while they just see you as nothing more than what you already were. So you're now in the "friend zone".

I don't see it as "being rejected, and just using the term as an excuse", as it's not the same thing. If you're asking someone out that you don't really know, and get rejected, but happen to become friends later, that wouldn't be considered the "friend zone", that's just automatic rejection, with being an adult. If you were dating someone and you broke it off, and decided to stay friends, that too wouldn't be considered being put in the "friend zone". That would just be breaking up amicably.

This is what I always thought it was and what anyone who has heard the term understood it to be. It's interesting to see all these different interpretations of the concept.

 

[BLACKVULCAN]

Well... the woman Black Vulcan pursued certainly used him, but I think its Vulcan's responsibility to lay down terms before doing any type of favors for her

hahahah sorry this was fun and all but i had to go work out!(THATS TRES IMPORTANT!) Wow i didnt know i was going to be a hit as Misogynistic Neanderthal!lt: but okay let me delve into it in more detail it was what...maybe when i was 25...
and it went like this...
me:hey! I really like you
chick: thats cool!
yadda yadda talk here and then on phone
chick: then calls me hey! i am moving and i need help with my kitchen sink and piano!
me: piano?!?! that *&*( is heavy is there going to be any other dudes cause i will get a hernia!!!
chick yeah!
me: shows up( no dudes!) okay! thinking to myself( okay so what would spidey do) well help out anyway possible!
me after heatstroke... So would you like to go out? i know this nice French restaurant and ^&* and I will pay!
chick: okay!
me and chick: date.. peck on the cheek
me: i like you!
chick well i like you..as a friend!
me okay i guess.. well do you want to go out!
chick : i gotta do my hair!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! damn that was like 20 years ago hahahahaha i didnt know my friend zone story was going to be such a hit
as i said... I got much better! my Game and my free throw has improved! but i still would help someone move their piano cause thats what spidey would do
hehe

 

[Teelie]

Like so many other fashionable terms, it's been coopted to mean something depending on the group who has coopted it which is why asking an opinion on it results in an endless debate.

Might as well ask the definition of "is" for all that it will help.

 

[E-Man]

I imagine that this thread is full of sweeping generalizations from both sides. The friend zone debate is basically conservatives vs. liberals all over again.

 

[Persistence]

Like so many other fashionable terms, it's been coopted to mean something depending on the group who has coopted it which is why asking an opinion on it results in an endless debate.

Might as well ask the definition of "is" for all that it will help.

[YT]j4XT-l-_3y0[/YT]

 

[Travesty]

This is what I always thought it was and what anyone who has heard the term understood it to be. It's interesting to see all these different interpretations of the concept.

Yeah, I had no idea people could see it any other way?

 

[MadVillainy]

people do realize that the friend zone" or at least the concept of it can happen between men and women right

 

[Nell2ThaIzzay]

Facepalm all you want. You're always going to run into people who think that term is most commonly used by people who want to blame the object of their affection for rejecting them. You'll probably find a lot of folks who find it misogynistic as well, considering it's most often used by men against women.

And those people who think that would be wrong.

 

[Travesty]

people do realize that the friend zone" or at least the concept of it can happen between men and women right

It reminds me of that episode of Seinfeld where Kramer goes to a lawyer to give rights for someone to pull the plug on him if he's in a coma. Later he finds out that you can actually wake up from a coma. He turns to Jerry and says, "I didn't know it was possible to come out of a coma", and then Jerry says, "I didn't know it was possible not to know that".

I love that damn show.

 

[MrsKent26]

And those people who think that would be wrong.

lol, alrighty then.

I don't say it about anybody because I think it has very negative connotations. There's not even a need for a term like that when people can just say "That person just wants to be friends with me," which has zero connotations.

Anyways, I won't bother fighting you about this term because it seems to mean a lot to you for some reason. Agree to disagree, I guess.

 

[Charlie Boy]

lol, alrighty then.

I don't say it about anybody because I think it has very negative connotations. There's not even a need for a term like that when people can just say "That person just wants to be friends with me," which has zero connotations.

Anyways, I won't bother fighting you about this term because it seems to mean a lot to you for some reason. Agree to disagree, I guess.

Exactly. There's absolutely no reason for the term "friendzone" unless you're using it in the pejorative. Otherwise, it's just friendship.

 

[Nell2ThaIzzay]

lol, alrighty then.

I don't say it about anybody because I think it has very negative connotations. There's not even a need for a term like that when people can just say "That person just wants to be friends with me," which has zero connotations.

Anyways, I won't bother fighting you about this term because it seems to mean a lot to you for some reason. Agree to disagree, I guess.

Why does "friend zone" have connotations?

It doesn't. Until social warriors put a connotation on it.

Why have that term? Because it's a slang term. We have it for the same reason we have any slang term.

Why does it mean a lot to me? Because I'm tired of those same social warriors twisting words to vilify people for no reason other than to vilify them.

 

[Warhammer]

edit

 

[Charlie Boy]

Men and women can definitely be friends. I'm not sure who's saying otherwise, but I too feel sorry for them.

I will say however, any friendship with one person having feelings for the other, be it romantic or physical, is doomed to fail and isn't a true friendship to begin with.

 

[Warhammer]

Why does "friend zone" have connotations?

It doesn't. Until social warriors put a connotation on it.

Why have that term? Because it's a slang term. We have it for the same reason we have any slang term.

Why does it mean a lot to me? Because I'm tired of those same social warriors twisting words to vilify people for no reason other than to vilify them.

In contemporary society (unless you are over 50, then I can understand your point), "friend zone" has a negative connotation. Who ever uses that term in a positive or neutral way? "Oh, that's my friend Jessica. I friend zoned her."

Men and women can definitely be friends. I'm not sure who's saying otherwise, but I too feel sorry for them.

I will say however, any friendship with one person having feelings for the other, be it romantic or physical, is doomed to fail and isn't a true friendship to begin with.

I agree with the romantic part, but not the physical part. I have female friends who are attractive with nice **** and everything. I look, too. It doesn't mean I necessarily want to f*** them.

 

[MrsKent26]

Why does "friend zone" have connotations?

It doesn't. Until social warriors put a connotation on it.

Why have that term? Because it's a slang term. We have it for the same reason we have any slang term.

Why does it mean a lot to me? Because I'm tired of those same social warriors twisting words to vilify people for no reason other than to vilify them.

My dislike for it is not just for the sake of vilifying people. I dislike it because I think it has negative connotations. You can disagree with that, but it doesn't change how I feel. The reasons it has negative connotations have already been discussed, so I won't go into it again.

I've said my part on it and that's all I have to say.

 

[Nell2ThaIzzay]

In contemporary society (unless you are over 50, then I can understand your point), "friend zone" has a negative connotation. Who ever uses that term in a positive or neutral way? "Oh, that's my friend Jessica. I friend zoned her."

Of course it's "negative" - it basically means the person was rejected.

It ISN'T "negative" in the way it is accused of being, in terms of vilifying women for not wanting to have sex or pursue a romantic relationship with a guy.

I have never used the term in that way myself, nor have I ever heard a single person on the face of the planet use the term in that way.

Until I started seeing the social warriors of the internet start coming out and putting that connotation on it.

 

[Warhammer]

It ISN'T "negative" in the way it is accused of being, in terms of vilifying women for not wanting to have sex or pursue a romantic relationship with a guy.

I have never used the term in that way myself, nor have I ever heard a single person on the face of the planet use the term in that way.

Until I started seeing the social warriors of the internet start coming out and putting that connotation on it.

I can definitely see some men use it that way. Misogynists or just ******** dudes with huge egos. I'm not saying men use it that way. I've never used it that way. But it's easy to see how another dude could.

"That b**** friend zoned me. Who does she think she is? She's ugly anyway."

 

[MrsKent26]

I can definitely see some men use it that way. Misogynists or just ******** dudes with huge egos. I'm not saying men use it that way. I've never used it that way. But it's easy to see how another dude could.

"That b**** friend zoned me. Who does she think she is? She's ugly anyway."

That's how I've seen it used. Hence, my dislike for it.

 

[Persistence]

Thinking about it some more, I've never used it in real world...I agree ideally people shouldn't use that term and just say, she rejected me. The friendship beforehand shouldn't be relevant to the rejection unless you're perceiving it as negative or maybe that you're owed something more.

 

[Charlie Boy]

Of course it's "negative" - it basically means the person was rejected.

It ISN'T "negative" in the way it is accused of being, in terms of vilifying women for not wanting to have sex or pursue a romantic relationship with a guy.

I have never used the term in that way myself, nor have I ever heard a single person on the face of the planet use the term in that way.

Until I started seeing the social warriors of the internet start coming out and putting that connotation on it.

I think you're bringing a lot of your own baggage into this. Not that we're not all basing our answers on the trials and tribulations of our love lives, but I feel like you've got a lot of anger towards the general idea of the "friendzone" and women in general.

That's how I've seen it used. Hence, my dislike for it.

Ditto

 

[Nell2ThaIzzay]

I can definitely see some men use it that way. Misogynists or just ******** dudes with huge egos. I'm not saying men use it that way. I've never used it that way. But it's easy to see how another dude could.

"That b**** friend zoned me. Who does she think she is? She's ugly anyway."

And that attitude has nothing to do with the term, and everything to do with the guy's own immaturity.

(Also, like women don't do the same thing, talking about how good for nothing a guy is when he rejects her / breaks up with her)

The problem is with the mentality of the individual, not with the term.

 

[Spade]

Props to Nell for remaining the most level-headed poster in this thread.