Do You Think The "Friend Zone" Exists?

[Nell2ThaIzzay]

I think you're bringing a lot of your own baggage into this. Not that we're not all basing our answers on the trials and tribulations of our love lives, but I feel like you've got a lot of anger towards the general idea of the "friendzone" and women in general.

I have no anger towards women, and really no anger towards the idea of the "friend zone".

The idea of the "friend zone" is nothing more than a man or a woman who isn't interested in someone romantically or sexually.

There's nothing wrong with that.

It sucks when you're the party who's feelings are reciprocated, but nothing "wrong" happened (unless of course, the person in question takes that knowledge of your feelings and uses and manipulates it for their own benefit without any intention of returning those feelings - but again, that is a matter of the individual, not because they rejected you).

I've been friend zoned plenty of times. I've friend zoned women as well. There's nothing malicious about it. It is what it is.

If a person can't handle being "friend zoned", that's their own problem, and they need to get that figured out.

 

[Travesty]

Of course it's "negative" - it basically means the person was rejected.

Exactly. You could say, "She wanted to be with me, but I rejected her. Now we're just friends". It still has the same defining characteristics of what the term "friend zone" means. The only difference, is you had to extrapolate everything into a long sentence, instead of just saying a simple phrase.

And saying this is misogynistic in any way is laughable. In what part of the world do you live in, where women can't approach men in any kind of a relationship? So no woman has ever tried to hook up with her male friends, or just males in general? It's all just the evil misogynistic men doing all the wrong doing?

 

[Charlie Boy]

Alright

 

[Warhammer]

And that attitude has nothing to do with the term, and everything to do with the guy's own immaturity.

(Also, like women don't do the same thing, talking about how good for nothing a guy is when he rejects her / breaks up with her)

The problem is with the mentality of the individual, not with the term.

I agree with you. Women are just as guilty.

And saying this is misogynistic in any way is laughable. In what part of the world do you live in, where women can't approach men in any kind of a relationship? So no woman has ever tried to hook up with her male friends, or just males in general? It's all just the evil misogynistic men doing all the wrong doing?

It's not always, but it can be used that way. I'll be with my boys at the bar and see it used that way. That was the point I was trying to make.

 

[Nell2ThaIzzay]

Props to Nell for remaining the most level-headed poster in this thread.

"Words I never thought I'd see written on the Hype" for $1000, Alex.

 

[Tempest]

Of course it's "negative" - it basically means the person was rejected.

It ISN'T "negative" in the way it is accused of being, in terms of vilifying women for not wanting to have sex or pursue a romantic relationship with a guy.

I have never used the term in that way myself, nor have I ever heard a single person on the face of the planet use the term in that way.

Until I started seeing the social warriors of the internet start coming out and putting that connotation on it.

"Social warriors"?

Are you one of those people who hears terms like misogyny, and it makes you mad because you feel like someone is accusing you personally of behaving that way?

Maybe you should examine why that is.

The term itself is gender-neutral, but because of the reaction of the male portion of society, it has come to be seen as misogynistic.

At any rate, I have seen and heard guys talking about this matter in a negative way. Like, not in an "OMG, I got friendzoned, I'm so sad" way. I'm talking, "Why do these ****es not like me when I'm such a super nice guy?", and the ultra fabulous meme, "She put me in the friendzone, so I put her in the rape zone".

Women and men tend to react differently to rejection. Women will internalize the rejection, and men will bluster (generally speaking). And while it's ok to be mad and blow off steam about said rejection, calling women ****es or *****es, and making rape jokes is just NOT a healthy or polite way of dealing with it.

Is the friend zone real? I guess. I mean, people feel like it exists, so it's real to them, and if that's the case, who am I to deny their feelings? As I said, the real issue isn't if the friend zone is real, or who uses it, but it does matter in how one handles being 'friend-zoned' to begin with.

 

[Doctor Evo]

I didn't prove your point at all.

Yes, you most certainly did.

Unless you are trying to imply that it is impossible for someone to exploit someone's emotions for personal gains?

How about this example:

Guy and girl are friends. Guy doesn't have romantic feelings for girl, he just appreciates her friendship. Girl calls guy for favors - giving rides to job interviews, moving, etc... Guy helps girl without any expectation of anything, simply because he is her friend.

As friendship goes on, it turns out that girl only calls guy when she needs something, because she knows he'll help her out. She never calls him for hanging out or anything else. It turns out that all along, girl was talking **** about guy behind his back, and was never a friend to him. She only used him because she knew he would.

Is that not using someone? What's the difference in this situation and Black Vulcan's? Other than Vulcan had romantic feelings for the woman.

The man expected respect and friendship in return.

That was easy.

Hoping for something (I.E.: having romantic feelings for someone) does not equal expectation nor entitlement.

Finding out that person you were helping out was only exploiting your feelings - whether feelings of friendship or romance - to get what they wanted, is USING someone.

It's sad that you haven't figured out that I don't disagree with you on this point. You've missed the point on so many levels that I honestly have no idea where to go from here.

 

[Matt]

Yes and no. For some people, there can be no romance. They can only ever be a friend. Whether it is because the friendship is so damn strong or because no romantic chemistry exists and the friend-zone is a convenient excuse, it does exist.

At the same time, most romance begins as friendship, so its not like it is this impregnable wall.

 

[Schlosser85]

I generally know shortly after meeting someone whether I feel any romantic chemistry with them or not, and I've never really had my feelings change after being friends with them.

 

[Persistence]

here are some cartoons to help us get better understanding on friendzone..

[YT]U3M09wodMgM[/YT]

 

[Persistence]

Cartoon on how to get out of Friend Zone
[YT]FaJ11vxu_pY[/YT]


Note: Results may vary, not guaranteed in any way shape or form

 

[Destructus86]

I'm a married male and 99% of my friends are women. JUST FRIENDS thank you very much.

 

[Doctor Evo]

Thanks for sharing, but that really has nothing to do with the thread topic.

 

[Erzengel]

Read my 3 book saga.

The Friend Zone

Nice Guys Finish Last

It Was an Accident Your Honor

 

[DarkSovereignty]

Oh, great, ANOTHER angry misogynist manifesto

 

[Tempest]

Oh, great, ANOTHER angry misogynist manifesto

Haven't you heard? Misogyny is just an internet myth, born from angry social vigilantes.

 

[Travesty]

 

[AnneFan]

When someone is banished to the Friend Zone for eternity, they always yell "You think your new friend is safe? I WILL FIND HIM!"

 

[Warhammer]

When someone is banished to the Friend Zone for eternity, they always yell "You think your new friend is safe? I WILL FIND HIM!"

 

[The End]

Of course it exists. Some people may not like it. Some people may have no experience of it. But it exists, it also goes by the name of 'unrequited love'.

 

[jmc]

It does exists, I have first hand experience with it. It doesn't depress me all that much because at the end of the day she still a good friend, I just wish it could be a bit more than that because I like having a female companion around me and sadly don't get enough of it.

 

[JJJ's Ulcer]

As long as people accept that guys can also "friend zone" girls. It's not exclusive to one gender.

I think unrequited love is a more accurate and mature definition though.

 

[jmc]

It might not be exclusive but I think it's very heavily skewed towards girls, they are kinda the ones with the power.

 

[JJJ's Ulcer]

I disagree. Girls and guys are both capable of leading on others. BUT guys seem to have a more difficult time taking a hint, if you catch my drift.

When people say they're in the "friend zone" I bet 30% of the time they've been legitimately misled, but the other 70% usually seem to be dudes who think they're entitled to the hot chick even though she's always wanted just to be friends, and nothing more. Actually make that ratio 20% to 80%.

 

[jonathancrane]

The friendzone concept is [a section of] man's inability to handle rejection. They're not into you; move on. One of the best pieces on the myth I have found is here: http://www.mattloveswriting.com/friendzoned-perhaps-your-actual-problem-is-this/