Fant4stic: Reborn! - - - - - Part 39

[I SEE SPIDEY]

Wait, Empire's review isn't even good? WTF?

 

[DarthSkywalker]

I hate Faraci too!

Yeah, I like you too marc. You have a great last name afterall. t:

 

[Kanon]

The Empire review 2*

http://www.empireonline.com/reviews/reviewcomplete.asp?FID=139047

Funny since Fox quoted it for their TV Spot.

They quoted a 2/5 review? Which were the quotes?

 

[DarthSkywalker]

Wait, Empire's review isn't even good? WTF?

Fox has no limits.

 

[flickchick85]

They quoted a 2/5 review? Which were the quotes?

Crossing my fingers for "occasionally admirable!"

 

[Orba]

Wait, Empire's review isn't even good? WTF?

It’s a shame that come the inevitable third act face-off, the cartoonishness arrives and the tumbler turns into a clown car. Von Doom’s inevitable reappearance has him looking like a toy soldier nuked in an industrial microwave, only he’s also wearing a cape now, because the movie’s internal logic is disappearing through a wormhole.
He spends his precious minutes on screen dispensing pat “I will destroy you!” dialogue as the film descends into the obligatory boom and pow. Teller duly responds with similarly on-the-nose “He’s stronger than any of us, he’s not stronger than all of us” rallying cries in-between super-stretchy double-handed punches. The franchise catchphrases you presumed forbidden are promptly crowbarred in as “It’s clobbering time!”, “Flame on!” and the title drop land like a giggle fit at a mortuary. After all that effort at authenticity, Fantastic Four wants it both ways: funereal and fun.

 

[I SEE SPIDEY]

Fox has no limits.

I'm speechless.

 

[Pokkle]

The Empire review 2*

http://www.empireonline.com/reviews/reviewcomplete.asp?FID=139047

Funny since Fox quoted it for their TV Spot.

Here a honest critic spot:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=he_3Hx0CMo8

 

[Erzengel]

They quoted a 2/5 review? Which were the quotes?

Review
Fantastic Four

For better or worse — mainly for worse — the first two Fantastic Four films were a forgettable flurry of spandex, kid-friendly quips and bubblegum pantomime. Eight years later and Josh Trank’s take is the exact opposite, channelling Chronicle’s grittiness to make a dour, dank and thoroughly think-y version of Stan Lee’s original superhero team.

The film’s brave departure from Happy Meal territory brings out both its best and worst qualities. Where Mister Fantastic (Miles Teller’s Reed Richards, power to stretch), Human Torch (Michael B. Jordan’s Johnny Storm, power to fly and shoot fire), Invisible Woman (Kate Mara’s Sue Storm, power to disappear and project force fields) and The Thing (Jamie Bell’s Ben Grimm, superhuman strength and stone skin) once got their gifts from a space mission, it’s now down to a dabble in inter-dimensional travel.

But teleporting to another plane is not a simple task. In an attempt to ground matters, the film makes its heroes — as well as its villain, Toby Kebbell’s Victor Von Doom — young scientists working together in a scholarship programme. Unfortunately, finessing the equipment required to jump to another world takes up most of the film’s screen time, and the talented cast struggles to make welding, typing and examining blueprints cinematic.

Where you might expect biffing of bad guys and teamwork-orientated takedowns, this superhero movie is all concrete corridors and doohickey jargon. Expect liberal use of the word “quantum” and lines like, “His biochemistry is off the charts!” delivered with po-faced gravity.

And yet when the powers do come, there are enjoyable moments of horror as Johnny wakes up on fire and Reed finds himself strapped to an elongated stretcher: a werewolf mid-transformation, minus the hair. The emotional reaction to the catastrophic accident that, amongst other things, turns Billy Elliot into a walking, punching, sighing rock does hit home, in a way that Michael Chiklis could only dream of.

It’s a shame that come the inevitable third act face-off, the cartoonishness arrives and the tumbler turns into a clown car. Von Doom’s inevitable reappearance has him looking like a toy soldier nuked in an industrial microwave, only he’s also wearing a cape now, because the movie’s internal logic is disappearing through a wormhole.

He spends his precious minutes on screen dispensing pat “I will destroy you!” dialogue as the film descends into the obligatory boom and pow. Teller duly responds with similarly on-the-nose “He’s stronger than any of us, he’s not stronger than all of us” rallying cries in-between super-stretchy double-handed punches. The franchise catchphrases you presumed forbidden are promptly crowbarred in as “It’s clobbering time!”, “Flame on!” and the title drop land like a giggle fit at a mortuary. After all that effort at authenticity, Fantastic Four wants it both ways: funereal and fun.

Empire says, "Brave." "Talented Cast." "Fun."

 

[MadVillainy]

DAmn...

The franchise catchphrases you presumed forbidden are promptly crowbarred in as “It’s clobbering time!”, “Flame on!” and the title drop land like a giggle fit at a mortuary.

http://www.empireonline.com/reviews/reviewcomplete.asp?FID=139047

 

[flickchick85]

Just another reason to adore you two.

You are a smarter woman than I flickchick.

I don't know which insane person doesn't love flickchick.

 

[DarthSkywalker]

I'm speechless.

I bet that looks adorable.

 

[The Infernal]

Fox? Doom? anyways...

lol. Now I can't help but wonder if Cillian would make a good Doom.

 

[Endeavor]

No offense intended. My knowledge of internal Cuban politics is quite limited, but my impression was that the general populace rallied around El Presidente due largely to his fearlessness in confronting the U.S.

Eh I wasn't really offended, just giving you a hard time in jest. But no, most ppl don't love him. That's why millions have fled the island over the years and are instead living elsewhere in the world...
Something which DOOM would never have allowed! heheh

 

[DarthSkywalker]

Has Kelly checked in? If any of us is going to be hurting over this, it is Kelly.

 

[I SEE SPIDEY]

I bet that looks adorable.

t:

lol. Now I can't help but wonder if Cillian would make a good Doom.

Hey...I think he would.

 

[ShadowBoxer]

As bad as this movie might be fans who have been hating this movie since the cast was announced still have to deal with the fact that Fox ain't giving the rights back to Marvel anytime soon. So if I were a HUGE FF fan I won't be celebrating this movie's failure/ panning by critics. In fact, this might very well be the last time we see FF in live action for some time. That sucks for casual FF fans like myself and die hard fans.

 

[Gamma Goliath]

At this point i think hard core fans would rather have nothing as opposed to garbage.

 

[GR8GODZILLAGOD]

At this point i think hard core fans would rather have nothing as opposed to garbage.

Pretty much. That "better than nothing" argument died years ago.

 

[Endeavor]

As bad as this movie might be fans who have been hating this movie since the cast was announced still have to deal with the fact that Fox ain't giving the rights back to Marvel anytime soon. So if I were a HUGE FF fan I won't be celebrating this movie's failure/ panning by critics. In fact, this might very well be the last time we see FF in live action for some time. That sucks for casual FF fans like myself and die hard fans.

We've known this since day 1. Us fans have lost more than Trank or damn FOX.
This is why we've been so pissed.

Are some enjoying a little "I TOLD YOU SO" high? Yeah. But that doesn't mean they don't understand the situation. They've understood it more than many, and for a longer time.

 

[jfurioso]

Let's see - Promising new director given the reins to a big franchise bullied by 20th Century Fox resulting in a disastrous film. Gavin Hood all over again.

Fincher on Alien3?

 

[Black Narcissus]

Of course he did.

Devin's one beer with Zack Snyder away from being DC's biggest cheerleader. He's a shill.

This is why Guillermo Del Toro goes toy shopping with him. Lawd. Good for JJ and not kissing his ass.

 

[Son of Coul]

When someone tells me that Faraci is a reviewer they trust, I cease talking to them.

I'm done with him, he is a tool.

I've been done with that guy's reviews for a looooong time.

I hate Faraci too!

Let's start a club

Wait, Empire's review isn't even good? WTF?

Ahaha, here's the spot for anyone who missed it:

 

[ShadowBoxer]

Well If I were a die hard FF fan, I would want something even if it was an animated movie or Pixar film. I am a HUGE Spidey, X-Men, Batman, Avenger, Justice League comic reader/ fanboy. I would be sad if there were NO movies or animated shows about them.

 

[Erzengel]

The best FF movie is called the Incredibles.