I'm asking out a girl tomorrow. Advice??

[kainedamo]

Thankyou Daisy. I see what you're saying. But I'm not like that. I'm not that kind of guy. I don't get jealous or possesive. I know she doesn't feel anything for me beyond friendship, and I'm quite happy with friendship. There's noway I'd start acting like a jerk. What you described just isn't me.

 

[Daisy]

You mean hypothetically right?

Oh yeah, right... hypothetically. Sorry, my mind isn't unfrozen yet. My power went out Saturday night. I've never been so thrilled to come to work in my life.

Well that is the mature route but honestly I'd be bitter regardless. I'd be at least civil to her face but while walking away I'd be uttering some sort of obsentity.

Civil face-to-face... that's all that's required as far as I'm concerned.


I mean it's not like I wouldn't be rolling my eyes thinking "Geez what a doofus." as I walked away.

 

[Erzengel]

Thankyou Daisy. I see what you're saying. But I'm not like that. I'm not that kind of guy. I don't get jealous or possesive. I know she doesn't feel anything for me beyond friendship, and I'm quite happy with friendship. There's noway I'd start acting like a jerk. What you described just isn't me.

Wait hold the phones and wake the neighbors!

Didn't you get all hurt and upset when she was talking about some other guy that you admitted your feelings for her online?

 

[Erzengel]

Oh yeah, right... hypothetically. Sorry, my mind isn't unfrozen yet. My power went out Saturday night. I've never been so thrilled to come to work in my life.




Civil face-to-face... that's all that's required as far as I'm concerned.


I mean it's not like I wouldn't be rolling my eyes thinking "Geez what a doofus." as I walked away.

::mutters under his breath:: *****

 

[Daisy]

Thankyou Daisy. I see what you're saying. But I'm not like that. I'm not that kind of guy. I don't get jealous or possesive. I know she doesn't feel anything for me beyond friendship, and I'm quite happy with friendship. There's noway I'd start acting like a jerk. What you described just isn't me.

In all seriousness, people can't just "switch off" feelings. You still DO want more from her. I mean, if she all of a sudden changed her mind and said she wanted you too, you're not going to say... "no, I'm over that, I just want to be friends"... you're going to be thrilled, right?

Even if you keep yourself in check with her, it's really yourself you're doing the biggest disservice to. YOU need time away from her, to get over her, because the likelihood is that if you continue this relationship the way it is, you're still going to be secretly wanting her and not take the chances that might come your way with other women. You're not even going to see them because you'll only be looking at her. You've decided she's "perfect" for you and you'll keep measuring other girls against her.

You are the one it's most detrimintal to continuing a close friendship with this girl, not her. I know you don't see it that way, but it's true.

 

[kainedamo]

Now that it's all out in the open, and I know how she feels, it's not a problem anymore. No longer will I be wondering "what if".

You see, that's what was really killing me. The constant wondering, constantly thinking "what if". Now that's not there anymore.

Genuinely, and I'm surprised myself, I'm really not all that bummed out about it. I thought I would feel terrible. But now it's out of the way I feel kinda good

 

[Wilhelm-Scream]

I mean, if she all of a sudden changed her mind and said she wanted you too, you're not going to say... "no, I'm over that, I just want to be friends"....

lol

 

[Daisy]

Now that it's all out in the open, and I know how she feels, it's not a problem anymore. No longer will I be wondering "what if".

You see, that's what was really killing me. The constant wondering, constantly thinking "what if". Now that's not there anymore.

Genuinely, and I'm surprised myself, I'm really not all that bummed out about it. I thought I would feel terrible. But now it's out of the way I feel kinda good

You're swimming in a river in Egypt... be careful not to get bit by a crocodile.

 

[Erzengel]

Here's some very helpful advice.

Find someone new.

 

[Wilhelm-Scream]

just wait till the first time you're at a party together and you see a 5 foot tall guy with slicked back hair licking sweat from her cleavage and then tell me how good you feel.

 

[Erzengel]

just wait till the first time you're at a party together and you see a 5 foot tall guy with slicked back hair licking sweat from her cleavage and then tell me how good you feel.

Hey what can I say I thought I lost a hor d'oeuvre.

 

[kainedamo]

"In all seriousness, people can't just "switch off" feelings. You still DO want more from her. I mean, if she all of a sudden changed her mind and said she wanted you too, you're not going to say... "no, I'm over that, I just want to be friends"... you're going to be thrilled, right?"

I'm not sure how I'd react... I've done alot of thinking over the weekend, things that people have said here have made alot of sense. I think I've put her on a pedestal. I think I'd initially say no, but if she kept it up I wouldn't be able to resist.

"Even if you keep yourself in check with her, it's really yourself you're doing the biggest disservice to. YOU need time away from her, to get over her, because the likelihood is that if you continue this relationship the way it is, you're still going to be secretly wanting her and not take the chances that might come your way with other women. You're not even going to see them because you'll only be looking at her. You've decided she's "perfect" for you and you'll keep measuring other girls against her."

There will always be a "wanting" there. I don't think that will ever go away. But I have done alot of thinking, and maybe she isn't as perfect as I thought. I don't think time away will get rid of the "wanting". I don't want the friendship to end. If I can get another girl, it would make it much easier to "get over her". All I need is another girl to "obsess" over and I'll be fine.

 

[Daisy]

Erz, I always pictured you as taller.

 

[Daisy]

I wonder why it is that people really DO have to make their own mistakes rather than learning from the mistakes of others?

 

[Erzengel]

Erz, I always pictured you as taller.

Wil was mistaken. I was kneeling down.

I wonder why it is that people really DO have to make their own mistakes rather than learning from the mistakes of others?

We tend to want to learn things the hard way. Sometimes the only way people will learn is by doing. Even if they are mistakes.

Oh and those pigs in a blankets are excellent.

 

[musclesforsupes]

Have you talked randor to her yet?

 

[Calvin]

Have you talked randor to her yet?

Have you gotten tired of making the same joke over and over yet?

 

[The Traveller]

Have you talked randor to her yet?

Why don't you Orko your Teela and jump off a Falcor?

 

[Batty for Bats!]

Yeah... I uh... pretty much ruined everything, and did the one thing which was the absolute last way to go about it.

I told her on msn. It's her fault! She was pissing me off, talking about the other guy alot, pretty much descriging she felt for him the same way I feel for her, so I just told her. I also told her I'm angry with her for being so wrapped up in her own stuff she never cares how I feel. I layed it all down and told her everything. At first she said sorry, but I think I said too much, and now she won't talk to me.

Actually I did that TOO. Right at the end of the last year, like 2 days after Xmas. Saw her again, gave her a hug, then it was all gravy again. It was weird.

 

[Equint77]

this thread needs to be taken out of it's misery....

 

[Batty for Bats!]

Never!!!!

 

[Mr Sparkle]

just wait till the first time you're at a party together and you see a 5 foot tall guy with slicked back hair licking sweat from her cleavage and then tell me how good you feel.

 

[JLBats]

just wait till the first time you're at a party together and you see a 5 foot tall guy with slicked back hair licking sweat from her cleavage and then tell me how good you feel.

Cruel. Cruel. Cruel.

 

[Master Chief]

Vicki is sex incarnate. Yessss.

 

[kainedamo]

We're still friends. I don't obsess half as much. It used to be that I would think about her everyday.

Now it's only in anticipation of meeting her and being with her! HOORAY FOR PROGRESS!!