Official discussion on why "Nice Guys" have a hard time getting the girl.

[Knightsaber Priss]

Lol, you can argue and argue all you want... But until you really think about it and- as I said- "roll with the punches" instead of act like an *******, you might get somewhere.

You have no idea how many physical and mental punches I've had to swallow and "roll with" in my life. I'm through with playing the victim. I'm just not going to care anymore and just take care of Number 1. Screw everybody else. I've got more pressing, immediate issues to deal with, like not getting my electricity shut off.

 

[Eggyman]

You have no idea how many physical and mental punches I've had to swallow and "roll with" in my life. I'm through with playing the victim. I'm just not going to care anymore and just take care of Number 1. Screw everybody else. I've got more pressing, immediate issues to deal with, like not getting my electricity shut off.

Th^t's why electricians have a hard time getting the girl. They're completely ****ed if they're nice too. May as well become an electrician at a monastary. Poor bastards. Have some heart, zilla, don't blame them. They have needs too.

 

[Cunning Stunts]

You have no idea how many physical and mental punches I've had to swallow and "roll with" in my life. I'm through with playing the victim. I'm just not going to care anymore and just take care of Number 1. Screw everybody else. I've got more pressing, immediate issues to deal with, like not getting my electricity shut off.

Lmao, I never said "play the victim", just don't play that "cold as ice" **** you were talking about. Being the victim is almost as bad as being the aggressor- which you obviously don't want to be either. Not trying to kick up some argument, it just seems like you won't listen because you've "suffered too much."

And the entire point about "rolling" with those punches is to let the bad parts slide past, and not let them get to you, which you're obviously not doing.

I've noticed that probably 90% of my friends who have had trouble getting girlfriends is because they've tried too hard. Just let it go, and it almost always comes to you. That worked like a charm for me, and I'm not a pretty guy.

 

[Red Cherry Lips]

I've noticed that probably 90% of my friends who have had trouble getting girlfriends is because they've tried too hard. Just let it go, and it almost always comes to you. That worked like a charm for me, and I'm not a pretty guy.

That is so true. It hits you when you're just doing your best in life and not looking when the opportunity presents itself. And "wham!" it just happens.

 

[LadyVader]

And "wham!" it just happens.

 

[AndThePickles]

Probably, and that is fine. You should be attracted to your partner. Now-a-days, our society makes it out like wanting to be attracted to your partner is shallow. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be attracted to the person you are with, hell...it is a neccessary part of a sexual relationship.

Also, why is it on the woman to set her standards lower because the guy is nice to her? Maybe instead, the guy should set his standards lower and look for a woman he is not attracted to?

Maybe, but at the same time why should he? In fact, why should anyone have low standards?

I can't answer for Matt, but in my opinion, I think he's saying if the man isn't physically attractive, why should a woman have to lower her standards for him when perhaps he's the one looking for women who are too attractive for him? Just because a guy is nice doesn't mean an attractive woman will want to date him.

 

[Immortalfire]

A girl told me once that I was a nice guy....then she gave me the "let's just be friends" line.

 

[AndThePickles]

A girl told me once that I was a nice guy....then she gave me the "let's just be friends" line.

Yeah, that's the nice way of saying "I'm not attracted to you" In a way, I think that may be why some men think that "nice guys" never get girls. It's a pretty standard sugar-coated rejection line. Like "oh, if I tell him he's nice maybe he won't care that I don't want to date him" Makes no sense, really lol.

 

[Paradyme]

Also, why is it on the woman to set her standards lower because the guy is nice to her? Maybe instead, the guy should set his standards lower and look for a woman he is not attracted to?

I've lowered my standards before and it just didn't end up working out because I just lost that attraction. I also go to know her better and it didn't help the appearance much.

I'm sure this isn't necessarily true but I've heard that girls are more attracted the personality or confidence over looks. Like I said just read that in numerous places not sure how accurate it is.

 

[Erzengel]

Yeah, that's the nice way of saying "I'm not attracted to you" In a way, I think that may be why some men think that "nice guys" never get girls. It's a pretty standard sugar-coated rejection line.

Pickles, I just don't want to ruin our friendship.

 

[AndThePickles]

I've lowered my standards before and it just didn't end up working out because I just lost that attraction. I also go to know her better and it didn't help the appearance much.

I'm sure this isn't necessarily true but I've heard that girls are more attracted the personality or confidence over looks. Like I said just read that in numerous places not sure how accurate it is.

Unfortunately, I think that general belief gets abused. I wish that society would attach a permanent addendum to it: "But looks still matter A LOT" haha

 

[Erzengel]

I was always of the adage, looks get you in the door, personality allows you to stay.

However, I've seen on both sides, attractive women with less than attractive men as well as good looking men with girls that aren't all that.

Like everything there's not a broad stroke, there's always exceptions but I always laughed at that one line in Liar Liar.

Max Reede: My teacher tells me beauty is on the inside.
Fletcher: That's just something ugly people say.

 

[Eggyman]

I like it too, Erzel. It's very true, me thinks.

 

[Immortalfire]

Yeah, that's the nice way of saying "I'm not attracted to you"

Yup. Reminds me on one of those lists of what women say, and what they really mean..

"I like you, but..." means "I don't like you."

lol

 

[AndThePickles]

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, to an extent. That's why when you see a hot girl with a man that everyone may think isn't as good-looking, she could easily think he's very handsome.

 

[Erzengel]

Looking at you Heidi Klum.

Then again Seal falls under the "musician" category and they can pretty much get anyone they want.

 

[terry78]

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, to an extent. That's why when you see a hot girl with a man that everyone may think isn't as good-looking, she could easily think he's very wealthy.

Fixed.

Now I ain't sayin' she a gold digger, but....

 

[AndThePickles]

Looking at you Heidi Klum.

Then again Seal falls under the "musician" category and they can pretty much get anyone they want.

Poor Seal Henry I've never thought he was ugly, though. His scars were caused by DLE.

 

[RockSP]

Nobody's denying that, but it's not the subject matter.

Could've fooled me...since half the posts have been about girls liking so called "bad boys" and rejecting "nice guys" to get to them.

 

[Erzengel]

Eh, I still think half the people who use the "bad boy" but I'm a "nice guy" excuse in line of society's view of nothing is ever my fault.

It's not my fault, I never put myself in a position to meet women.
It's not my fault, I'm a slob who doesn't make any attempt to better themselves.

Are there women out there that do like jerks? Maybe to them they aren't jerks, maybe they are just guys with confidence? Some women prefer a challenge and ironically try and turn a bad guy into a nice guy. Others grow out of it.

I think just too many people need to cling to the crutch that "nice guys finish last" as a way to not accept their own faults.

 

[terry78]

I think it's a little bit of both, as we are taught over time that you do have to be a tad on the roughneck side in not only the romance world, but the career world to get ahead. Everything contradicts itself in life.

 

[RockSP]

Are there women out there that do like jerks? Maybe to them they aren't jerks, maybe they are just guys with confidence?

I have a friend whose wife was @#%&ing some unemployed jailbird behind his back. She was using money for bills to bail this fool out of jail. I'm sure it was his "confidence" that made her do it.

 

[Erzengel]

And there are guys who beat their girlfriends/wives. Are there exceptions? Always. But to paint a broad stroke of the gender?

 

[RockSP]

Who said anything about an entire gender?

 

[Erzengel]

I missed where you stated "some" in your previous posts.