Return of the *Official* Relationship Advice Thread

[Anita18]

I don't believe in the "perfect partner", only "highly preferred partner"; this would seem to assume that you're willing to bend and mold your personality into something that somebody else wants . . . not what you wanna do; you need to find yourself, and be that person; OWN that person, and find somebody that is compatible with that person; not ever "make somebody like you"

This.

Trying to be someone besides yourself just uses up a lot of energy and will only end in tears when you finally get sick of doing it, give up (or lash out) and then she goes, "OMG I don't know you anymore" and breaks up with you anyway.

Then again for me, the point of a relationship is being with someone who accepts me exactly the way I am, physically and otherwise. It's an incredibly freeing feeling. Changing your personality to get someone to like you is a fool's errand, because then they actually like someone else who's not really you. It's like cheating except it'd actually be your fault.

 

[Erzengel]

I think it's very common though for people to go through "good date" behavior for even up to a year when being with someone. I think once both people let their guard down and start showing their "quirks" is when you know you are really compatible.

 

[DV8]

This.

Trying to be someone besides yourself just uses up a lot of energy and will only end in tears when you finally get sick of doing it, give up (or lash out) and then she goes, "OMG I don't know you anymore" and breaks up with you anyway.

Then again for me, the point of a relationship is being with someone who accepts me exactly the way I am, physically and otherwise. It's an incredibly freeing feeling. Changing your personality to get someone to like you is a fool's errand, because then they actually like someone else who's not really you. It's like cheating except it'd actually be your fault.

you should always be the best YOU that you can be, for YOURSELF . . . and the better YOU that is, the better the choices you have for a mate; it took me a while to understand that I can basically have any caliber of female I want, and I say that in no kind of cocky way at all; I just completely value my worth now, but I didn't always feel that way . . .

 

[Anita18]

I think it's very common though for people to go through "good date" behavior for even up to a year when being with someone. I think once both people let their guard down and start showing their "quirks" is when you know you are really compatible.

Yeah my friend told me you aren't a true couple until you can have burping or farting contests and nobody blinks an eye. (Unfortunately I can't burp or fart on command, but I let my bf do it...)

you should always be the best YOU that you can be, for YOURSELF . . . and the better YOU that is, the better the choices you have for a mate; it took me a while to understand that I can basically have any caliber of female I want, and I say that in no kind of cocky way at all; I just completely value my worth now, but I didn't always feel that way . . .

I'm still a little leery with thinking of people in terms of "calibers." WTF does that even mean? A hot chick? Yeah, I suppose...maybe you wouldn't be compatible at all with her, but you could get her in bed with your confidence.

And that's still kind of besides the point if you want a real relationship, anyway. I guess anyone else would consider my bf and I boring losers, but we think we're cool.

 

[Aesop Rocks]

I think I'm going to try to see if this girl even wants to talk to me or anything. I mean, we got a long great last night and had a good time, but idk.

I'm just going to kind of ignore her for a week or so, unless she calls or texts me first. I want to see if she can initiate conversation.

 

[DV8]

Yeah my friend told me you aren't a true couple until you can have burping or farting contests and nobody blinks an eye. (Unfortunately I can't burp or fart on command, but I let my bf do it...)


I'm still a little leery with thinking of people in terms of "calibers." WTF does that even mean? A hot chick? Yeah, I suppose...maybe you wouldn't be compatible at all with her, but you could get her in bed with your confidence.

And that's still kind of besides the point if you want a real relationship, anyway. I guess anyone else would consider my bf and I boring losers, but we think we're cool.

when I say "caliber", I'm talking in terms of the total package; a girl who is top notch in the looks department, but also has it together financially, mentally, has a good sense of humor; good attitude; the whole nine yards; a lot of guys chalk up quality of a chick based on looks alone, when that's just a minor piece of the standards you should be looking for . . . you have to look past that because personality is equally if not more important

 

[DV8]

so I don't think I really need advise about this issue, but I'm a little salty/bummed out that one of my out of town ladyfriends may have boned OchoCinco (the football player). I'm not sure if she did, but I will just assume she did cuz she said she was kinda "seeing" him, but it was nothing serious :~S she is dropping steady hints that she's pry moving back here and wants a boyfriend . . . a "right hand man" and I'm not really sure I want a relationship at all . . . she is a pretty awesome person but I'm not sure if she's using this OchoCinco thing to make me jealous or what . . . I do believe she coulda roped a football player though, and not sure why she would make up such a fantastical story if it weren't true *concerned face*

 

[Anubis]

Haha, OchoCinco's sloppy seconds.

 

[DV8]

Haha, OchoCinco's sloppy seconds.

IKR . . . damn you OchoCinco!! *shakes fist* I'm not even gonna ask her if she boned him for sure, cuz that's kinda lame . . . like I said I will assume she did but she is NOT to have contact w/ him if we have a relationship lol never thought I'd have to compete w/ dudes like this man wtf!!!

 

[LOBO3315a]

The second you think you have to compete, you've lost.

 

[DV8]

The second you think you have to compete, you've lost.

I know; that's true, and I'm not really trying to compete . . . I'm just a little salty that's all . . . I'll be aight though *brushes shoulders off*

 

[Nell2ThaIzzay]

I think if you run around life thinking things are going to happen instead of going out there and making things happen, then you're in for a whole bunch of disappointment.

Truer words have never been spoken, and that applies for more than just relationships.

 

[Hound55]

Look on the bright side...

Ochocinco was Carson Palmer's sloppy seconds to T.O. last year...

 

[Aesop Rocks]

So me and this girl hung out again last night, she came over and we kicked it outside for a bit and just talked for a while. Then we came in and watched some Mystery Science Theater 3000. Again, we lost track of the time, and come to find out it was 3:30 AM. I said I'd take her home if she wanted to, but she said she was too tired to move.

We slept together. Not like, sexually, but like, slept together. I woke up at like 7:30 and she was still sleeping. let her sleep until about 10:30, because I had to run and do stuff. We were sitting there talking for a bit, just talking. She thanked me for letting her stay here and said she had to go home. She hugged me and gave me this kind of stare when she left.

So, I have to ask you guys.

WTF happened?

 

[Anubis]

You missed your chance.

 

[Aesop Rocks]

My chance to get smush? Damn dude, I don't want to **** her. At least not yet.

 

[Anubis]

I didn't say smush. And stop saying that it's ******ed.


You missed your chance to make your move. To show her that you're interested in more than just late night tv and friendly hugs.

 

[Aesop Rocks]

SMUSH SMASH.

I really don't think I missed my chance either, I just want to see if I can actually take things slow for once.

 

[Anubis]

Well, you know her better than me.

 

[Charlie Boy]

You totally shoulda made your move.

 

[Aesop Rocks]

Like I said, she and I both agreed that neither of us are emotionally prepared for a relationship with anyone.

 

[Anubis]

Well evidently, somethings up, cuz you wouldn't be asking us wtf happened.

 

[Aesop Rocks]

I'm just scurred!

 

[WillardNation]

Is this the same girl that's bat**** crazy?

 

[Aesop Rocks]

Maybe!