The Last Crusade of Relationships

[AndThePickles]

So, I never thought I would write this in my whole life, but I'm about to write it. I actually have an opportunity for [BLACKOUT]a threesome. [/BLACKOUT] Now, my one buddy has been clear on his position: "As awesome as it would be, don't do it." But he doesn't really have any good reasons. And all I can think about is how awesome it would be. t: [BLACKOUT]It would be my girlfriend and her best friend. It started as innocent pillow talk, just joking around, and the topic was brought up for the hell of it, and she was actually giggling at the prospect of it. Since then, it's been brought up to her best friend, and for all intents and purposes, everyone's in!! [/BLACKOUT] WHAT SHOULD I DO????

Idk, it sounds like something they were just both laughing about, not anything your gf is truly serious about.

 

[Rocketman]

My girlfriend is pretty secure.

The only thing that could happen, is that she becomes insecure because of it, and the fact that we did it results in her being self-conscious, like she's not adequate enough for me on her own, that I had to seek elsewhere to be sexually fulfilled. Not the case, and that HAS to be communicated before my Mr. Washington Goes to Town.

We have a perfectly healthy sex life. We make passionate love, absolutely, and we get down and dirty some nights too. I certainly have a few fantasies that haven't come to fruition yet, but I'm an easy going guy, and a threesome would certainly be one of those fantasies.

And here's another thing. I'm totally not interested in sharing this experience with a gross chick at a bar, or a stripper, who bleached her hair and has an orange spray-on tan. My gf and her bff are great girls. I would be reluctant and hesitant (and frankly terrified) if it was anyone other than these two. My girlfriend is my best friend in the whole world, and I hold her bff in very high regard too. She's in my top 5 peeps, and she's my gf's #1 friend. We're like a weird little family. So, of course I'd be comfortable with people I actually care about, and I'd hope that my girlfriend views it in the same manner.

And then, I get my **** wet.

 

[Rocketman]

Idk, it sounds like something they were just both laughing about, not anything your gf is truly serious about.

Incorrect. Everyone knows, everyone's in.

 

[AndThePickles]

Gotcha. Well, I personally think it's a bad idea to do it with someone who IS such a close friend and will always be around, because there's a lot more potential for awkwardness and weird feelings. But everyone's relationship is unique, so, let us know what you end up deciding.

 

[Rocketman]

Gotcha. Well, I personally think it's a bad idea to do it with someone who IS such a close friend and will always be around, because there's a lot more potential for awkwardness and weird feelings. But everyone's relationship is unique, so, let us know what you end up deciding.

Everyone said "Go for it!" until you came along. Thanks for giving me doubt. Thanks a lot.

Spoiler

t:

 

[Anubis]

Honestly, only reason I said go for it is because I know it's gonna end badly, and that tickles me.

 

[SuperMike335!!]

Neither my gf or her bff are bi. They're just playful and innocent. And they're close friends. We've all known each other long enough that it wouldn't be too weird. They most likely won't be giving each other attention in bed. The focus will probably be on me.

But my issue is indeed involving my girlfriend suddenly becoming weird at the prospect of me preferring her friend, which TOTALLY would not be the case. I'm not going to lie, both my gf and her bff are pretty goddamn attractive, and both fit my tastes 100%. I just don't want my gf suddenly becoming paranoid that I would want to leave her for the friend, because I totally would never do that.

I think the situation here is summed up like this. My girlfriend's best friend is single, she can't find a good guy, and she wants some action. She doesn't want to be a skank and date random jerks, and she already knows that I'm a good guy (which I am). So it's simply a case of my girlfriend and her "sharing" me for a night (or beyond), and everyone benefits. She's horny. We're horny. We're all close. We know each other. Why not?

And on my relationship's end of the spectrum, we've been together for 5 years. We want to spice things up. We try to add a new twist every once in a while, and now this is going one step further. We haven't hit a rut or anything, but the idea of adding a new level of excitement doesn't seem too dangerous to me or her (for now).

I'll be honest. I'd looove to bang her friend. I'm human. I can't help it. But I would never cheat on my girlfriend, and I would never do it unless my girlfriend's actually present in the room, sharing the experience with me. Sounds okay to me.

Life is about experiences. When you are 80 years old, and look back on your life, you will NOT regret having had a threesome. In fact you will not regret any of the sex you had, even the times you blew it too soon, or the hot girls who things did not work out with for relationships afterward. You will not regret having made bold moves, or having taken risks, or even having spoken your mind when you knew it was unpopular.

The things we regret in old age are the things we passed up, the opportunities we did not take, the risky moves that we feared too much, and the passions of conquest that were never fought.

Go and enjoy the hell out of this.

 

[Daniel Thompson]

Life lesson.

The lesson being - Don't tell a girl you want her to be your girlfriend when you've never even gone out on a date.

You wanna know why?

As much as you might like a girl, and want her to be your girlfriend, without spending significant time with her (and a few phone calls or text convos doesn't count) you don't know if she's someone you -really- want to be with.

I'm gonna give an example. There was a girl about a year and half ago or so, I was doing a production with her. She is incredibly attractive. Gorgeous. A 5/5. Literally, there isn't a damn thing wrong with her physically. Legs that won't quit. A good ass. **** to boot. And an incredible face.

On top of it, she was fun, flirty, playful, and overall, seemed enjoyable to be around. I had thoughts of wanting to make her my girlfriend.

That was until I went out with her, and started to spend some time with her outside of the production we were doing together, and realized that her personality was ass. She was snobby, stuck up, and just in general not a flattering personality. It turned me off so damn fast.

Not gonna lie, I let her attractiveness pull me back in a couple times, but I had enough experiences with her that I now am glad it never happened between her and I, because it probably would have been a horrible experience.

That's one example. But the fact is, it's pretty common. Just because a girl makes a good impression on you means nothing. You might think that you'd want her to be your girlfriend, but you don't. You want your -idea- of her to be your girlfriend, and that's the difference. You can't tell someone that you want to be with them before you've ever even gotten to know them, and -that- is why expressing such comes off as creepy.

It's a life lesson, you're not some horrible **** up because you made a mistake with a girl. If you -recognize- that it was a mistake, learn from it, and change going forward, and it's gonna be just fine for you. Every guy ever on the face of the planet has made a mistake with women. I guarantee you that everyone in this thread has made mistakes with women. I have, Erz has, SuperMike has, you have... Everyone has. Just like Anita has made mistakes with men, as has Angel Faerie, hopefulsuicide, or ComicChick. Making mistakes is part of life, it's not a reflection of who you are as a person.

Despite how much of a *****e my brother turned into, if there's one thing he said I totally agree with, it's that people aren't defined by the mistakes we make, but rather how we respond to those mistakes.

You'll be fine dude.

Do you mind if I ask how old you are?

I'm 20 years old. I mean even if we didn't get into a relationship, being friends would of been just fine with me.

 

[Rocketman]

Honestly, only reason I said go for it is because I know it's gonna end badly, and that tickles me.

Thanks, member of the SHH Community.

 

[Erzengel]

Sure it would have.

 

[amazingfantasy15]

However, as for messages, it's basically something to the effect of:

"Hi, I came across your profile and thought it sounded really interesting for [X reason]. [potential question about that]. I'm a/ I do [common interest] too. Maybe you'd like to check out my profile as it seems we have quite a few things in common and thought it would be cool to chat. Do drop me a line and say hi.

Hope to hear from you soon but no problem if not."

It will usually be some variant of that. Nothing too long or demanding too much at such an early stage, and certainly not suggesting that the woman might want to consider me as a potential candidate. It's all very light and casual.

That sounds very generic for a message. I remember always having a tough time writing messages because I tried to not make it generic. Make sure to write it to interests in her profile. I remember one message I sent, the girl put in her profile that she wanted to meet someone who when the difference between to, too and two. Made sure in it to use each one properly and ended the message referencing that I did.

I actually liked eHarmony because you went through a few steps before messaging someone. So you didn't have to invest time into an email to ensure interest, you asked multiple choice questions, then sort of essay questions, then you sent messages. By the time you're writing a message you know you've at least got her interest.

Just cater the email to her, if she mentions a show you like too, ask her what she thinks about some characters actions. If it's a hobby you share too, say something you've done regarding the hobby. Also, always act as if she's going to respond. I always ended an email with "Look forward to hearing from you". I never counted on hearing from a girl, but I'm not gonna let her know or think that.

 

[AndThePickles]

Everyone said "Go for it!" until you came along. Thanks for giving me doubt. Thanks a lot.

Spoiler

t:

Yes, well, most people here have penises to think with, but I am a lady and therefore analyze every aspect before giving advice

I'm also thinking of how I would feel as someone in a committed, long-term relationship. If I had a threesome, I'd want it to be with someone I knew we'd never see again. Everyone I know who has had threesomes/foursomes with close friends...ugh, it's just super weird and awkward and very much changed things for everyone involved.

 

[AndThePickles]

Life is about experiences. When you are 80 years old, and look back on your life, you will NOT regret having had a threesome. In fact you will not regret any of the sex you had, even the times you blew it too soon, or the hot girls who things did not work out with for relationships afterward. You will not regret having made bold moves, or having taken risks, or even having spoken your mind when you knew it was unpopular.

The things we regret in old age are the things we passed up, the opportunities we did not take, the risky moves that we feared too much, and the passions of conquest that were never fought.

Go and enjoy the hell out of this.

For the sake of debate, what if this is a woman he wants to marry, and a threesome is a mistake that ruins his amazing relationship and changes the course of his life forever?

 

[Anubis]

.....He can still tell people he totally had a threeway this one time.

 

[Colossal Spoons]

I'm also thinking of how I would feel as someone in a committed, long-term relationship. If I had a threesome, I'd want it to be with someone I knew we'd never see again. Everyone I know who has had threesomes/foursomes with close friends...ugh, it's just super weird and awkward and very much changed things for everyone involved.

Nah, I'd be alright

 

[Mrs. Sawyer]

 

[AndThePickles]

Nah, I'd be alright

Please, you're the one who always says it'd have to be a stranger or hooker lol

 

[Colossal Spoons]

Please, you're the one who always says it'd have to be a stranger or hooker lol

We've gotten better looking friends since then

 

[Anubis]

Always with the 3 way. Not enough people push the 5 way.

 

[AndThePickles]

We've gotten better looking friends since then

Mine are always good looking, I don't hang out with ugly people.

 

[terry78]

Mine are always good looking, I don't hang out with ugly people.

It was only a matter of time before this one emerged.

 

[Anita18]

 

[SuperMike335!!]

For the sake of debate, what if this is a woman he wants to marry, and a threesome is a mistake that ruins his amazing relationship and changes the course of his life forever?

There are tons of stuff than can ruin relationships.

Are you saying he should make a decision on fear motivated behavior?

Avoid everything that has a risk of emotional backlash?

 

[AndThePickles]

There are tons of stuff than can ruin relationships.

Are you saying he should make a decision on fear motivated behavior?

Avoid everything that has a risk of emotional backlash?

I'm not in any way saying that he should avoid everything that has a risk of emotional backlash. However, there are certain things that have a high probability of ending badly. It isn't fear based, it's logic based. It wouldn't be that he's afraid of anything, it would be weighing all possible outcomes and deciding which ones he could live with. That could mean choosing or denying the threesome. Whichever he decides, I think that it should be a thoughtful decision that he is confident and happy with.

 

[BrollySupersj]

And I'm going to reiterate my point about laying down ground rules. Make sure your gf is cool with whatever you do.


While we're on the subject of sex, is it just me or is one of the biggest turnoffs in sex the word "no". The past two girls I've slept with have both declined to do things while having sex. And they weren't any weird requests or fetishes or anything. The first girl just refused to do it doggie style and the second girl is just kind of boring in bed so I simply said, "Talk to me." I, personally, am a big fan of not even necessarily "dirty talk" (although I definitely don't have a problem with that) but just communication. Her reply was, "No. That's weird." Weird?! Since when is talking during sex weird? I was totally flabbergasted by that comment.

I can understand if I broke out some crazy costumes or toys or something but a simple position and communicating? Those are pretty goddamn vanilla if you ask me.

[BLACKOUT]I had this issue with 69, and I never understood why. The last girl I was with fine with oral sex, she did it to me, I did it to her, but when I asked about 69, she said no, I asked why, and her response was "I don't like the way I look down there". Left me confuzzled.[/BLACKOUT]