The now NEW Official DC Stupid Questions thread: Didio Headaches - Part 2

[Jordacar]

Not if he's at full strength. Then he can just spit it right out. But if he's away from that warm yellow sun for too long, he might have reason to worry.

 

[The Question]

Would the alien be strong enough to burst out of Superman's chest?

Well, it would be a Kryptonian/Xenomorph hybrid, so probably.

Here's my question: If Superman's body is an organic solar battery, wouldn't that kind of rupture cause an explosion?

 

[Anubis]

Not very, I'd suspect. If the entire Justice League ganged up on Superman they could almost definitely take him in a fight. Like, just have Wonder Woman, J'onn, and Aquaman gang up and start pummeling him, and if he busts free have GL drop a building sized construct on him. And The Flash could do all sorts of hit and run tactics, maybe even using Kryptonite in some way. And just keep repeating that process until they've won.

Yeah, they regularly take on guys like Despero or A.M.A.Z.O.. Supes would be relatively easy by comparrison..

 

[The Question]

In the premiere issue of Worlds' Finest (of DC's The New 52 reboot), it is revealed not only that the Huntress of the post-Flashpoint universe is Helena Wayne from Earth 2, but that Helena Bertinelli has been long dead and that all the exploits of Helena Bertinelli's Huntress were committed by Helena Wayne acting in her name.

**** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** ****

I hate everything.

 

[Anubis]

Ugh,

 

[The Question]

"Isn't it so much better that we have the silver age version of the character again, and we're rid of that nasty, useless post crisis version? And we didn't just bring back the original version as an alternative to the newer one like a bunch of cowards, we took the effort to completely supplant the new version, wipe her from the DCU entirely, and retroactively say that everything she did was actually done by the inherently superior silver age model. Isn't that swell, guys? Come on, it's for the best, really. It has to be, because it's what I grew up with and that makes it better than what you grew up with."

This was probably Geoff Johns' idea and I hate him. There's nothing wrong with Silver Age nostalgia, there's nothing wrong with bringing back pre-crisis characters we haven't seen in a while, but he's a complete ****ing ******* about it.

 

[Anubis]

F**king, bulls**t.

 

[The Question]

Helena Bertenelli was one of my all time favorite DC characters. She was great. **** everything.

This is especially offensive to me because Helena Bertenelli was consistently a more more nuanced, interesting, and engaging character than Helena Wayne. Bertenelli had all of these complex running themes of guild, sin, redemption, sexuality, forgiveness, religion, and vengeance going on. Wayne was generically nice and Batman's daughter from another universe.

Hell, Helena Bertenelli was a much better foil for Power Girl than Helena Wayne ever was.

I mean, I don't have anything against Helena Wayne, she's fine, but replacing a beloved, well developed, established character with her for reasons of seniority and nostalgia is ****ing offensive and just plain mean.

If you want to bring her back, just bring her back. Don't invalidate her replacement out of spite.

 

[HighFivingMF]

What if they just started writing the Silver Age one like the newer one?

 

[The Question]

And, excuse me, but all of her exploits?

So hunting down and murdering the man who ordered the assassination of the Bertenelli family.

Getting expelled from the Justice League for attempting to execute Prometheus.

The relatively well adjusted daughter of Bruce Wayne and Selena Kyle did that stuff.

****ing why?

What if they just started writing the Silver Age one like the newer one?

It wouldn't make any kind of sense, primarily.

And even if they did, it's still dumb and insulting. Why deprive a bunch of people of a character they've grown to love with another one that behaves similarly but lacks the traits that made the other one distinct for reasons of pedigree? It's just arrogant and mean. I mean, a character's backstory is an extremely important part of who they are. Helena Bertenelli was the way she was because of her being raised in a Mafia family, losing her parents to that lifestyle, being brought up through her teenage years and trained by mob assassins, and here strong devotion to catholicism that stands in stark contrast with that lifestyle and her own anger, desire for vengeance, and her desires in her personal life. Everything about the character is informed by that stuff. Having a different character who just acts the same isn't really a fair trade.

And, like I said, it doesn't make sense because none of those elements are in Helena Wayne's backstory.

 

[The Question]

I'm sorry, that must have come off as harsh. A side effect of both the current medication I'm on and Geoff Johns being a *****ebag is irritability.

 

[Anubis]

Well if it makes u feel better, that stuff with the jla couldn't have possibly happened in this continuity. In fact, most of her life couldn't have happened. What with the continuity being what it is. So, technically, huntress is just Helena Wayne. Which
means, bertineli never really existed.....at least not as we know it. Better? Worse? I don't know....

 

[The Question]

Well if it makes u feel better, that stuff with the jla couldn't have possibly happened in this continuity. In fact, most of her life couldn't have happened. What with the continuity being what it is. So, technically, huntress is just Helena Wayne. Which
means, bertineli never really existed.....at least not as we know it. Better? Worse? I don't know....

Equally bad.

And I'm pretty sure the current status of the Bat Mythos is that everything that happened post-crisis still happened, jut with adjustments for the other changes.

But whatever. The ****ed up Bane. They ****ed up Lois and Clark (why do people thing the love triangle is awesome?). The ****ed up Huntress. **** everything.

 

[Anubis]

The Bat and the GL mythos has changed, significantly due to the "Partial Reboot". No matter what they might say. It just doesn't add up and is therefore impossible.

You can't have a pocket reality where 30 plus years worth of stuff happened in the span of 5 or so years. The League never recruited anybody outside of what they have now with the exception of the Manhunter. This is fact....therefore Huntress was never, at any point, a member of the JL. Rayner and Wally too.....no Steel. No Plastic Man. No Detroit League, no "JLI, no ONE PUNCH! Bwahaha!" Hell, who knows what the Question's new existence is that has resulted in him becoming some doomed cosmic being all of a sudden. So there's a good chance her relationship with him never happened. I don't know if her time with the BOP is even still in. Apparently Batgirl's time as Oracle is there but it's all been smushed into about a year or two. So, whatever she got from Bertinelli, is probably very minor.....possibly just the No Man's Land stuff.

That's the problem with this partial reboot s**t in a shared universe. You reboot one thing, the house of cards all come tumbling down.

 

[The Question]

Double stupid all the way across the sky.

 

[TheCorpulent1]

A sad byproduct of the 5-year history is that everything feels very flat now. What you see is essentially what you get with all of these characters; none of them have any of the richness they used to. J'onn's just that green guy in Stormwatch. He's not the sage elder statesman of the League, seeing it through nearly every incarnation, who picked up a whimsical love of Oreos along the way. I'm not even sure he's Detective John Jones anymore, either. Take that and apply it to every other character, too. It all just feels very shallow and unsatisfying.

 

[CConn]

I'd love to see them revisit Detective John Jones for a Gotham Central-esque mini series or something.

 

[Varient]

What if a facehugger from Alien laid an egg in Superman? How ****ed would the Justice League be against a Super Xenomorph?

Under a yellow star, the "egg" would starve as it passed thru supermans system.


Didn't they do a story on this already?

 

[Varient]

I'm sorry, that must have come off as harsh. A side effect of both the current medication I'm on and Geoff Johns being a *****ebag is irritability.

(Smile)

I feel your pain.

 

[Blitzkrieg Bop]

Has anyone besides Wally done the Infinite Mass Punch and is it clear that that still actually happened in the new continuity?

 

[The Question]

Under a yellow star, the "egg" would starve as it passed thru supermans system.

Why?

 

[Spike_x1]

I've always been kind of bugged by how Superman's weakness to magic is portrayed. Like, I think originally the idea behind it was that he's just as vulnerable to magic as everybody else, and that's the take that makes the most sense and seems the least silly to me. But in a lot of cases it's portrayed as him actually getting weaker around magic regardless of what it's supposed to be doing. Like, any enchanted object can hurt him even if what makes it enchanted doesn't involve being used as a weapon.

Agreed.

 

[TheCorpulent1]

I'm not sure I understand what you mean. Like, someone enchants some playing cards to smell like strawberries, and suddenly they can give Superman papercuts? That kind of thing?

 

[The Question]

I'm not sure I understand what you mean. Like, someone enchants some playing cards to smell like strawberries, and suddenly they can give Superman papercuts? That kind of thing?

Yeah.

I mean, it's usually not that silly, but yeah.

Like, there was a bit where Captain Marvel knocked Superman out with one punch, and it wasn't that his magic makes him as strong or stronger than Superman, it was specifically said that he's not as strong as Superman but because he's magical it worked anyway.

 

[TheCorpulent1]

Well, that kind of thing I'm okay with. Not the strawberry-smelling card enchantment, but Captain Marvel just being suffused with magic energy? I could see that hurting Superman a bit more, i.e. whatever Kryptonian shenanigans protect him from everything else don't work as well against magic energy.