Confession is good for the Hype. - - Part 11

[Hobgoblin]

I'm not a funny person. Any humor that people derive from me is purely accidental.

 

[jonathancrane]

Some of the best comedians are that way.

 

[spideyboy_1111]

I confess i'm going to eventually scream at our accountant at work who comes in twice a month...

he's this old slightly perverted man who always sounds like he's going to cough up a lung and has an annoying laugh (in which he finds EVERYTHING (especially his own jokes) funny)...

and well that's not even the reason i want to scream! EVERY time he comes in, he comes into my office bathroom, and takes a dump. and completely stinks up the office... (there's 3 other bathrooms in this place, one is real gross so i don't blame him for that, but the other is in an office that no one is in.... does he seriously have to do this EVERY TIME.... he doesn't spray, he doesn't turn on the fan, and he doesn't shut the door when he leaves... so i have to take a stealthy trip to the door and hold my breath upon doing so.

I'm more agitated today because things weren't ready for him and he was leaving he turned around and sure enough.... came back in and headed straight to the bathroom.

 

[Scarecrow_King]

You should take a dump in his briefcase.

 

[spideyboy_1111]

alas... he does not have one

 

[Manic]

You should "break" something in your office bathroom the day he comes. I mean, don't really break it. Just put up a fake sign that says it's out of order.

 

[ComicChick]

or put a post-it note inside each of the stalls telling him you know his deal and what he does and he better quit

of course, signed anonymously

 

[Manic]

Sometimes I wish I could just uproot myself, move far away, and leave everyone behind. Even with all my debt, I could move somewhere cheap, get a second job, and live all alone like the hermit I've always wanted to be.

But then I'd be leaving behind a dying grandmother, a grandfather whose mind is slipping, and a mother who cried the last time I talked about leaving the SF bay area because I'm apparently the only stable person in her life.

I've reached the point where I don't know if I'm still here due to laziness, family obligation, or both.

 

[The Original Bamfer]

Yep, that's my life. Except you're less lazy and more obligated.

 

[Scourge2099]

I confess that my life is starting to look up for a change.

 

[Brain Damage]

I confess that I've gotten quite good over the last few years at staying positive and not let confrontations or negative experiences bring me down, but every once in a while something (often something relatively insignificant) comes along and makes me feel miserable.

Tonight is one of those times, unfortunately.

 

[Anubis]

You sharted in public?

 

[Brain Damage]

Thankfully the only time that happened, I was safely only a short hobble away from my bathroom.

 

[Ultimatehero]

I'm not entirely certain I'm human haha, 98% sure I am, but 2% is open to the possibilities since I have no idea how I came to be.

 

[ComicChick]

Sometimes I wish I could just uproot myself, move far away, and leave everyone behind. Even with all my debt, I could move somewhere cheap, get a second job, and live all alone like the hermit I've always wanted to be.

But then I'd be leaving behind a dying grandmother, a grandfather whose mind is slipping, and a mother who cried the last time I talked about leaving the SF bay area because I'm apparently the only stable person in her life.

I've reached the point where I don't know if I'm still here due to laziness, family obligation, or both.

dude this is so much my life right now it's not even funny

 

[SpideyVille]

I confess that ever since I started my job, I've felt very out of touch with all of the things that I love. Even when I have my free time on the weekends, its like I don't feel like going back to any of it.

 

[ComicChick]

i work so much i'm practically a hermit

 

[Manic]

My mom just gave me $100 to drop off at the county jail for my brother. If I were a bitter, less moral man, I'd pocket like half of it.

 

[Anubis]

Then pocket 75% of it.

 

[SpideyVille]

I confess that sometimes even when I get what I want, I'm not completely satisfied, and it sort of diminishes the fact that I got what I wanted. It's almost like what I get is not enough and I want more, even though I should be grateful for what I was able to get.

 

[Marx]

I confess that I'm seriously starting to think that I didn't get any of the part-time jobs I applied for recently.

It took me forever to finally land the full-time job that I have now and I'm afraid I'm going to go through the same struggle trying to get a part-time job.

 

[Anita18]

I confess that I'm seriously starting to think that I didn't get any of the part-time jobs I applied for recently.

It took me forever to finally land the full-time job that I have now and I'm afraid I'm going to go through the same struggle trying to get a part-time job.

What kind of jobs are they? As I've said, applying cold online rarely works. I bet even at Starbucks, there's some nepotism that goes on.

 

[GENERAL RAAM582]

I confess that I went to a college today and I really, really like it, but I don't feel like I have the ability to get accepted.

 

[Spider-Aziz]

I confess i'm going to eventually scream at our accountant at work who comes in twice a month...

he's this old slightly perverted man who always sounds like he's going to cough up a lung and has an annoying laugh (in which he finds EVERYTHING (especially his own jokes) funny)...

and well that's not even the reason i want to scream! EVERY time he comes in, he comes into my office bathroom, and takes a dump. and completely stinks up the office... (there's 3 other bathrooms in this place, one is real gross so i don't blame him for that, but the other is in an office that no one is in.... does he seriously have to do this EVERY TIME.... he doesn't spray, he doesn't turn on the fan, and he doesn't shut the door when he leaves... so i have to take a stealthy trip to the door and hold my breath upon doing so.

I'm more agitated today because things weren't ready for him and he was leaving he turned around and sure enough.... came back in and headed straight to the bathroom.

You should have a key for that bathroom, lock it when he arrives

You should "break" something in your office bathroom the day he comes. I mean, don't really break it. Just put up a fake sign that says it's out of order.

B******s like him probably decide to check things on their own, then say "It really is out of order" after a harder stench

 

[Anita18]

I confess that I went to a college today and I really, really like it, but I don't feel like I have the ability to get accepted.

Try for it as one of your "reach" schools. You won't know if you don't try!