Don't Hate The Hater, Hate The Hate! - - - - Part 16

[GENERAL RAAM582]

But I bet they were getting laid....always the *******s.

Yeah, they are always the popular ones. It makes me shutter about their futures

 

[E-Man]

I hate annoying kids in high school and I feel bad for most teachers.

I just talked to a real cool high school kid at work today. He sounded a lot like Toxin here. I think a lot of them get a bad rep because we adults don't realize how annoying we were as high schoolers, but a lot of modern parents are so protective of their kids that they're restricting the teachers...although a lot of teachers are lazy too...and then some kids are **** heads...

You know what? Let's just say that everybody besides me sucks.

 

[Anita18]

I think manipulating is a strong term because that would imply she's smart enough to do it on her own. Not that I'm saying she's dumb or anything, but I don't think she does it purposely, but more that it's just in her character that she believes everything needs to go the way she wants it to, or else its wrong or its "the devil" trying to go against her.

And the real problem is that even if me and my brother say no to giving her money, she'll go out and find someone else to lend her money, and seeing as how she recently filed for bankruptcy, its either let her get into more trouble and debt, which will eventually go and affect me, or find some way to appease her while not crippling myself in the process.

She doesn't have to be smart. She's just taking advantage of you because you always give in.

My cousin's MIL is like that. She's a Beautiful Woman (you know the kind of woman I'm talking about) and thinks she deserves to be treated like a princess by everybody because she is Beautiful. For her, life is shopping. Working is beneath her, and my cousin doesn't think alimony exists in Taiwan so she probably is hissy-fitting money from her siblings and her own daughter. She told her daughter to buy her a Roomba, but luckily she got talked out of it by someone. Otherwise she would be tantruming her way into next week.

I have no idea how my cousin's wife turned out as adorable and humble as she is, but her mother keeps taking advantage of her because the daughter feels guilty. She's an only child, it's hard to cut off your mother like that. BUT luckily the mom lives in Taiwan and my cousin and his wife live in Georgia. So it honestly could be a lot worse.

I just don't know what to do. Everyone has told me I need to move out, but I know that won't stop her. I see how she still relies on my brother who is busy with his family, and my sister who lives across the country and is struggling to raise her own children buy herself. I can't even talk to her because she refuses to have a civilized conversation and won't listen to anything I say.

Won't stop her from asking you for money, but will be easier for you to say no. Especially when you're out on your own, you have to look out for yourself instead of spending all your money, time, and effort enabling someone.

I hate that my brother and his girlfriend just broke up. They seemed like they'd get married.

You never know what's going on behind the scenes. I had a friend whose parents were mad he broke up with his gf of 9 years. They'd had problems for a while but of course all the parents were thinking was that they'd just lost a future daughter-in-law. It definitely deepened the chasm between him and his parents that had existed for a while.

I say "had" because this is the friend who died of cancer on Monday. It was his ex who got the news from his parents first, then called me because I was the only friend of his in the US she had a phone number for. So...yeah, don't get mad at your brother for it. Stay friends with her if you must, but don't pick sides. Some relationships just don't end up working out.

 

[Anita18]

I hate something now. It's my lab's centrifuge. It's broken AGAIN, and has spent more time getting serviced than it has actually working. I have to walk to another lab 3 buildings down to get my stuff done.

We bought it last year brand new too! I wonder if they have lemon laws for lab machines like they do cars. The thing probably cost more than my car anyway.

 

[Schlosser85]

To SpideyVille....you need to move out if at all possible. She's emotionally abusive to you and bilks you for money at the same time, without even appreciating you financially supporting her.

At the very least, say no more often, whether she gets angry or not. You don't owe her every cent you have to your name.

 

[SpideyVille]

She doesn't have to be smart. She's just taking advantage of you because you always give in.

My cousin's MIL is like that. She's a Beautiful Woman (you know the kind of woman I'm talking about) and thinks she deserves to be treated like a princess by everybody because she is Beautiful. For her, life is shopping. Working is beneath her, and my cousin doesn't think alimony exists in Taiwan so she probably is hissy-fitting money from her siblings and her own daughter. She told her daughter to buy her a Roomba, but luckily she got talked out of it by someone. Otherwise she would be tantruming her way into next week.

I have no idea how my cousin's wife turned out as adorable and humble as she is, but her mother keeps taking advantage of her because the daughter feels guilty. She's an only child, it's hard to cut off your mother like that. BUT luckily the mom lives in Taiwan and my cousin and his wife live in Georgia. So it honestly could be a lot worse.

Yeah, I've called my mom out on it many times because she's always told me things half-jokingly like I should be a doctor or I should get a car, and I tell her that I know its because she wants to take advantage of me. She always complains that my brother doesn't take drive her anywhere (even though whenever he asks, she declines) and how he should send her some money to help out stuff, so I know and am afraid that when I do have a job and a car that she's going to start expecting things from me that I'm not going to be willing to give. I've tried to tell her not to rely on me, but I already know how she thinks. Bad enough she doesn't ask people for certain favors because she expects them to just do it for her anywhere, but when that doesn't happen, she flips out and acts like they're the worst person ever and I just don't want to deal with that when I'm gone.

Won't stop her from asking you for money, but will be easier for you to say no. Especially when you're out on your own, you have to look out for yourself instead of spending all your money, time, and effort enabling someone.

To be fair, she does pay me back whatever she owes me and sometimes a little more, but I just hate the fact that she still hasn't learned her lesson when it comes to money. She's even taken out some loans from her job which has caused the amount of money she actually gets in her paycheck to drop dramatically, so she's pretty much behind on every bill and the rent. I definitely want to help her out somehow, which is why I do the babysitting thing that I don't even get paid for, but right now that's the best that I can do and I just wish that she would stop expecting more from me financially.

To SpideyVille....you need to move out if at all possible. She's emotionally abusive to you and bilks you for money at the same time, without even appreciating you financially supporting her.

At the very least, say no more often, whether she gets angry or not. You don't owe her every cent you have to your name.

Moving out is not an option and won't be for a while. I'm pretty much stuck here until I can manage to get a job and find some way to save enough money to get a place of my own or find someone to rent a place with. Even though I dream of the days when I'll have my own place, I really don't have a problem staying with her and can tolerate the money stuff for now since she does pay me back eventually, but its all the other baggage that really gets to me like the babysitting and having to be the one that she feels like she should rely on all the time. I've often said that if she were to just leave me alone all the time, chances are things would get a lot better, but I don't see that happening.

But my biggest fear is that, since I'm the last child to leave and since she's not getting any healthier, I'm going to end up being the one who has to be her caregiver if she ever gets really bad health wise. I pretty much know all of her information and I know all her routines and what she likes, so I know it'll be easier for me than it will be for my brother who doesn't even care about such things, but I'm only 24 and I'd hate to feel like I'm never going to have my own life because of her.

 

[Anita18]

To be fair, she does pay me back whatever she owes me and sometimes a little more, but I just hate the fact that she still hasn't learned her lesson when it comes to money. She's even taken out some loans from her job which has caused the amount of money she actually gets in her paycheck to drop dramatically, so she's pretty much behind on every bill and the rent. I definitely want to help her out somehow, which is why I do the babysitting thing that I don't even get paid for, but right now that's the best that I can do and I just wish that she would stop expecting more from me financially.

I'm Chinese, and many Chinese parents expect to be supported entirely by their children in their old age. I have a friend whose parents believe that the children's salary is also partly their salary. But then again, her father gave her $30K to either have a wedding or put a down payment on their first house, so it goes both ways. The thinking is that the parents will invest in their children when they're young (most Asian kids I know had their college tuitions paid by their parents), so they can mooch off them later.

It doesn't work as well when the child doesn't have prospects for a lucrative career (it doesn't sound like you do) and the parent tries to mooch off them right out of college at a minimum wage job.

But my biggest fear is that, since I'm the last child to leave and since she's not getting any healthier, I'm going to end up being the one who has to be her caregiver if she ever gets really bad health wise. I pretty much know all of her information and I know all her routines and what she likes, so I know it'll be easier for me than it will be for my brother who doesn't even care about such things, but I'm only 24 and I'd hate to feel like I'm never going to have my own life because of her.

Yeah, my dad's youngest sibling is in his late 30's and still lives with the parents. He's the only one who doesn't have a family, so by default he's stuck with them. I don't think he actually HAS to be there, because they actually have a live-in maid. But the grandparents apparently like having him there to complain about the maid to. He was making some moves to work in the US, but I'm not sure how fast that's going....

Yeah, that's the danger when you're the youngest, especially when you're the youngest by a lot. My mom and her sister are fairly close in age, and both of them moved to the US for grad school, so they flew that coop pretty early! My younger sister and I are close in age as well, and she's more independent than I am!

There are no easy answers. My MIL's dad is 92 and they finally had him moved to a care home. But until then, he really did insist on living by himself, although they paid a neighbor to check up on him every day. If you don't have money to pay someone, the only option is to do it yourself, or keep it in the family....I think you can only pray that your brother or sister is making enough money that they can bail you out of being your mom's full-time caretaker. I'm not sure if my uncle's happy living with his parents, but he's very reliant on my dad and my mom when he's visiting. I don't think he could live on his own....

 

[Scarecrow_King]

I hate unintelligible Captcha codes.

 

[Manic]

Some of them look like a 5 year old's attempt to mimic Comic Sans in the middle of a sneezing fit.

 

[SpideyVille]

I'm Chinese, and many Chinese parents expect to be supported entirely by their children in their old age. I have a friend whose parents believe that the children's salary is also partly their salary. But then again, her father gave her $30K to either have a wedding or put a down payment on their first house, so it goes both ways. The thinking is that the parents will invest in their children when they're young (most Asian kids I know had their college tuitions paid by their parents), so they can mooch off them later.

It doesn't work as well when the child doesn't have prospects for a lucrative career (it doesn't sound like you do) and the parent tries to mooch off them right out of college at a minimum wage job.

Yeah, the idea of children being a type of investment for parents is something I heard a while ago and really agreed with. And even though I am the youngest and the one who doesn't have prospects for a lucrative career like you said, I know that this will all change one day and I will be in a much better position to provide for others. The problem is that my mom isn't very patient and she wants everything right away. That's why she got into massive debt when she started getting cards, and it was a lesson I recently had to learn myself.

But even now, my dog is having neck problems and she's been on meds for the past few days and the doctor said we need to let her rest and limit her movements for the next 4-6 weeks, but every few hours, my mom comes to me upset because the dog is not like she used to be and she fears that we're going to have to put her down. I have to talk her out of it and remind her that its going to take some time, but just her whole mentality of being impatient is really what has us all in the mess that we're in now. Bad enough I used most of my momney to pay for her initial visit, but now she wanted to take her back to get x-rays and an MRI, which would make me broke and make my brother have to take out from his rent money just to be able to pay for it.

Yeah, my dad's youngest sibling is in his late 30's and still lives with the parents. He's the only one who doesn't have a family, so by default he's stuck with them. I don't think he actually HAS to be there, because they actually have a live-in maid. But the grandparents apparently like having him there to complain about the maid to. He was making some moves to work in the US, but I'm not sure how fast that's going....

Yeah, that's the danger when you're the youngest, especially when you're the youngest by a lot. My mom and her sister are fairly close in age, and both of them moved to the US for grad school, so they flew that coop pretty early! My younger sister and I are close in age as well, and she's more independent than I am!

There are no easy answers. My MIL's dad is 92 and they finally had him moved to a care home. But until then, he really did insist on living by himself, although they paid a neighbor to check up on him every day. If you don't have money to pay someone, the only option is to do it yourself, or keep it in the family....I think you can only pray that your brother or sister is making enough money that they can bail you out of being your mom's full-time caretaker. I'm not sure if my uncle's happy living with his parents, but he's very reliant on my dad and my mom when he's visiting. I don't think he could live on his own....

One of the things with my mom is that she can't stand to be alone. Even though she talks a lot about waiting for me to leave and move out already, I know that she'll miss having someone around, so much that she's talked about having my nephew spend the night with her so she wouldn't feel alone. Before, she had a boyfriend, who she was with for 16 years, but they broke up a few years ago and she still tried to remain friends with him because she knew she would be alone without him, but he had a family and just married the mother of his children a few months ago, so she's still coming to terms that this is pretty much it for her since she's not realistic about future partners either, just based on bad experiences in the past.

I hate leaving her alone, especially since I know my brother doesn't even think much about her despite living two blocks away from us, but at the same time I know that I need to start living my own life and not let her hold me back.

 

[Darthphere]

I hate when my job doesn't understand "No." They ask me to stay "Sorry, I can't. I have plans" and they keep going and going. I already said no, leave me alone.

 

[Piper Maru]

I hate when my job doesn't understand "No." They ask me to stay "Sorry, I can't. I have plans" and they keep going and going. I already said no, leave me alone.

My job usually gets a clue after three or four no's.

 

[A Necessary Evil]

I have this friend, and he's a really good guy, but damn I hate him as much as I like him. He's spoiled beyond belief, and continues to get everything he wants, and I hate to sound envious, but damn I just want him to know a struggle for something in his life for once.

 

[Anita18]

I have this friend, and he's a really good guy, but damn I hate him as much as I like him. He's spoiled beyond belief, and continues to get everything he wants, and I hate to sound envious, but damn I just want him to know a struggle for something in his life for once.

I dunno, I'd be fine with that as long as he didn't have an entitled attitude. One of my friends from college comes from old money, and doesn't have to work a day in her life. But she chooses to, so that's why she's awesome in my book.

I mean, yeah, it's a luxury not to have to worry about money, and she already has a house (albeit in the midwest, so much less expensive than here), but she shouldn't have to apologize for it. She understands that most of her friends don't have that luxury, so there's no pressure to catch up to her or whatnot.

 

[A Necessary Evil]

I dunno, I'd be fine with that as long as he didn't have an entitled attitude. One of my friends from college comes from old money, and doesn't have to work a day in her life. But she chooses to, so that's why she's awesome in my book.

I mean, yeah, it's a luxury not to have to worry about money, and she already has a house (albeit in the midwest, so much less expensive than here), but she shouldn't have to apologize for it. She understands that most of her friends don't have that luxury, so there's no pressure to catch up to her or whatnot.

Oh, he does have that entitled attitude. A great example, his parents bought him a new car, he has his own apartment he doesn't need to pay for, and always has a ton of money to spend things on. He was making a youtube video, and as his mom comes into the kitchen "Ugh mom get out for god's sakes I'm busy."

Dude, chill...your mom and dad buy you everything.

 

[James]

I hate...not dislike...I really want to stress this. I. Hate.

Like this:

Hate.

People who...guh I can barely even type it without gagging. People who suck their...oh god...

Peoplewhosucktheirfingerswhileeating. Phew.

Now to be fair, I do not care one way or the other if people do this while they're alone. What you do in privacy is your business and no one else's. I am also not Hannibal Lecter when it comes to table manners. If you want to plant your elbows on the table or talk with a little food in your mouth, more power to you. But how is it so many people (and it is shockingly common) think it's acceptable behavior to suck or lick their fingers while in the company of others?

I really struggle to understand how more people don't find this completely disgusting. Heck, I'm not even easily grossed out! Bad smells, poop, blood, burns, you name it -I'm usually the last to retreat. Hell, if it's an emergency I'll even get stuck in and get myself bloody. Unless the person bleeding to death is licking sauce off their fingers, then I'm afraid it's in the hands of the gods.

And you know, there are small exceptions. A tiny nip to get something off the tip of your finger, fine. Whatever. I even thought I'd gotten better with this...but some people...some people just go to town. I'm talking like, at the dinner table, with a napkin! That's the worst. That just makes it so, so much worse. If the person has a freakin' napkin and they still decide to clean their hands with their mouth.

Given that I just typed over three paragraphs about the subject, I almost think there might be something wrong with me. Obviously I'm in the minority because so many people seem to do it and those who don't do it, don't seem to care. Not me. I don't genuinely hate much stuff, but I may hate this more than anything else.

I hate when my job doesn't understand "No." They ask me to stay "Sorry, I can't. I have plans" and they keep going and going. I already said no, leave me alone.

At one of my old jobs the bosses had a bad habit of asking people to stay late or come in on the weekend at the last minute. Nearing the end of the day "I need you to stay late." Friday afternoon "Can you come in tomorrow?" I rarely had plans and if there was work to be done I was usually happy to stick around and do it, I'd have to do it eventually anyway. Plus there was the extra money. Still, it got a little silly.

The solution to this was talking to the manager(s) about it. Basically, we made a hard rule that if they wanted us to stay late or come in on the weekend they had to ask at least a day in advance. Didn't matter if the workers had plans or not, we needed a day's notice. If we said no, tough luck, but more often than not we were happy to say yes. It got to the point where, on the rare occasion a desperate manager would run up in a panic and ask us to stay at the last minute, we were happy to do it.

I'm not sure if that's the same as what you're going through, but in any case it sounds wrong that keep hassling you after you've said no. Perhaps bringing the issue to them might help?

 

[Piper Maru]

I hate when frozen meals don't fully cook all the way through, forcing me to add an extra minute to cooking time.

 

[Scarecrow_King]

I hate it when people post huge, detailed descriptions (with dialogue) of what they think a movie should be. Nobody reads that ****.

 

[Manic]

I hate it when people post huge, detailed descriptions (with dialogue) of what they think a movie should be. Nobody reads that ****.

They're basically writing fan fiction at that point.

 

[wiegeabo]

Those posts are why god invented the scroll wheel

 

[Ultimatehero]

I wouldn't exactly knock it. That's how I started, now I'm with Universal Pictures. And the first script that got their attention and constantly on me about what I'm working on next was fanfiction actually - an adaptation of a hit 90s cartoon which I might actually bring to the screen in a couple of years now despite it just originally being meant as a sample. Somebody also "got in" through a Johnny Quest and Wonder Woman script, and that's just from what I know of. Basically, fan fiction is a great learning place for people to start and some actually do break in that way. That said, there's no point in writing a film that's already coming out or a sequel to a franchise that is bound to have a film (like a couple fake scripts rotating around). No traction is ever gained from those, or at least to my knowledge.

 

[wiegeabo]

And that's why we have a fan fiction forum.

Or did that go away? I have no idea.

 

[Ultimatehero]

I'd still say there's no problem with it. Since that's also where I started, I'm intrigued by those. As long they're not spamming, they're just flexing some muscles.

The fanfiction forum was a lot more active five to six years ago.

 

[Darthphere]

The worst is when someone writes up a long scene and is like "This is how I would've done it." And it's easily the worst idea you've ever read.

 

[Ultimatehero]

Things like that are a waste. I still don't understand the allure of writing a screenplay for a big budget feature that's coming out, acting like it's the actual thing and leaking it. It's not professional and it's a waste of time if they were serious about the craft.

----------

The thing that just happened that I'd hate? Iron Man 3 is online right now. I mean, seriously wtf? Why don't studios just release the english language version at the exact same time? Do they get more money if they release it elsewhere first instead of everywhere at once? What is the draw to that? Because every single time they do that -- it gets leaked a week to weeks in advance. If that ever happens to me, I'd seriously go ballistic. I mean, is there a logic to this that I'm missing?