Lord of the Advice: Fellowship of the Relationship

[Anubis]

Going to Chucky Cheese or something? If it comes up, don't do it in the ball pit.....I got a nasty rash once.....

 

[SpaceWay2009]

Kind of off-topic, but would you kiss a girl you really like who has HSV-1, but the symptom (cold sore) isn't present at the moment?

 

[Erzengel]

Well it's pretty low although studies indicate that at least half the population has one form of the HS virus.

If the girl doesn't have any sores present, there shouldn't be an issue.

 

[SpaceWay2009]

^That's what I was thinking, too. Thanks for the input.

 

[hopefuldreamer]

You know, you can talk to her on the phone if you want to get those insecure initial small talk getting to know you, out of the way.

I absolutely can't do that with a romantic prospect.

And I work in advertisement sales. Talking to people on the phone is my job

I just find that in person it is just so much easier to feel at ease and have conversation flow You can read body language, eye contact etc. You can tell clearly when someone is joking or teasing or being sarcastic.

I've had guys who were into me phone me before just to chat small talk and it's always been full of awkward silences and attempts to try and force conversation. Especially not good when they try and flirt... It can just come across so weird on the phone

 

[Erzengel]

That's true for some people but what would you suggest for someone like ETM who's only talked to this person throw facebook?

I mean I use to talk on the phone all the time when I use to date. I actually preferred it to words on a screen? It was always nicer hearing someone's voice instead the sterile view from behind a computer screen.

 

[The Guard]

Angel, I really think you need to be discussing your feelings about sex with your boyfriend. If you're not ready for it, you need to take a long look at why. Not the basic worries that everyone has, because that's just natural, but why you specifically don't feel like you're ready. Five to six months, if you're a virgin, is about the right timeframe to start having sex, I think, unless there's a specific relationship problen. Obviously you have to do what you feel is right, but you also need to be about to communicate your position with your boyfriend. Talking about a hotel...that kind of thing sends mixed messages.

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

"OMG, I love your ****" is one of my favorite things to hear during sex. Or really anytime, for that matter.

There is really no inappropriate time to compliment my c***.

 

[hopefuldreamer]

That's true for some people but what would you suggest for someone like ETM who's only talked to this person throw facebook?

I mean I use to talk on the phone all the time when I use to date. I actually preferred it to words on a screen? It was always nicer hearing someone's voice instead the sterile view from behind a computer screen.

I dunno, I just can't stand the pressure of trying to think of what to say and sound appealing and stuff all really quickly and without any advantages like smiles, looking interested and body language.

I'd prefer to go straight from internet to face to face.

But then personally I prefer first date situations I can kind of control. Just make sure that there is enough going on wherever we are that it's not JUST conversation that will keep the guy from feeling awkward and uninterested in me. Because I HATE uncomfortable silences, and I like moving about and not letting anything be too 'serious'.

So I tend to start somewhere with a pool table and other human beings around (sometimes even go to places where I know I know people if I'm really nervous), so that if there is an uncomfortable silence I can break it by focusing on a shot, saying hello to someone else briefly or going up to the bar or commenting on things around me.

But maybe that's wimpy of me I dunno.

I'm not a shy person most of the time. Like I said, my primary work is selling over the phone, and my other job is as a barmaid in a social club which basically requires me to keep conversation going all the time cause sometimes it's dead and it'd be mad awkward if I wasn't talking

But the minute it's a date I become someone else. It just feels harder.

 

[Erzengel]

I dunno, I just can't stand the pressure of trying to think of what to say and sound appealing and stuff all really quickly and without any advantages like smiles, looking interested and body language.

Not exactly sure that ETM has the experience of being to quickly discern body language.

I mean I'm all for sinking/swimming scenarios where people are thrown into an unknown situation.

But he just really seems to be set on this "first kiss" of his and is more concerned with the destination than actually caring about the journey there.

Trying to do a get to know you meeting/first date with a woman who's bringing her toddler/young child.

ETM: So, it's great to meet you.
Woman's child begins screaming.

That's why I think maybe a phone would be better to get to know her before a date where she's bringing her child.

 

[enterthemadness]

Ok....

First, I'm not bringing my nephew.

Second, we went to school together. Had an art class in middle school. Maybe a few others? But we've like never talked, only on Facebook.

Third, I did call and leave a voice mail at lunch time today. She texted back saying her mom was borrowing the car today for a date or something. I texted back saying that's fine, what about going out on Friday. No response.

Lol. If we do go out and start dating, I'd be the rebound. She only been single for half a week now. According to Facebook, it was a messy relationship.

I guess I'll call later in week as Friday approaches.

And Erz is right, I'm pretty bad socially. Not as bad as say Abed or Troy in Community. Guess not much higher.

 

[enterthemadness]

Oh, read her text again...it makes no sense now.

Her mom who is borrowing the car is going to Jacksonville, to pay her taxes and go on a date. Problem is, that's an HOUR away. -_- sounds like she blew me off. Why the hell would you drive an hour away to pay taxes? Why? Whatever, Imma go exercise to clear my head.

 

[amazingfantasy15]

So.....me again.

Once again I asked this woman out on Facebook and we are gonna probably meet for coffee tomorrow at 5. But...what does it mean when she says she's bringing her youngest? Not to clarify...

I said I dunno if I can make it. May be still watching nephew then. She says I can bring him, she's bringing youngest with her. Then I say it okay, he usually home by then. Or my parents can watch him.

What's does this all mean? I think it means I won't be getting my first kiss, but honestly I just wanna talk to to woman, then go from there. But she just got out of a relationship not long ago. But I've like her since middle school. Yes ladies and gentlemen. ^_^ I'm having coffee date with a girl I went to middle school and high school with.

I means she has at least two kids, one who isn't school age. Probably also means she doesn't see it as a date because if she did andwas excited for it as a date, she'd find a babysitter.

 

[SpaceWay2009]

Oh, read her text again...it makes no sense now.

Her mom who is borrowing the car is going to Jacksonville, to pay her taxes and go on a date. Problem is, that's an HOUR away. -_- sounds like she blew me off. Why the hell would you drive an hour away to pay taxes? Why? Whatever, Imma go exercise to clear my head.

Yeah, I agree that exercise does help clear your head. For me, it also releases anger, which then makes the workout that much better.

 

[Anita18]

Oh, read her text again...it makes no sense now.

Her mom who is borrowing the car is going to Jacksonville, to pay her taxes and go on a date. Problem is, that's an HOUR away. -_- sounds like she blew me off. Why the hell would you drive an hour away to pay taxes? Why? Whatever, Imma go exercise to clear my head.

Some people have a CPA do their taxes for them. My bf's dad is a CPA with many longterm clients.

If they're hurting for money, driving an hour to see a hired CPA is a little bit out there though. But then again, could be a relative doing it for them for free. -shrug-

If you haven't met her, it's a little presumptuous to come to such conclusions so quickly. If this is a recurring thing then yeah, you can assume she's blowing you off. But this is the FIRST time you've tried to call her.

I means she has at least two kids, one who isn't school age. Probably also means she doesn't see it as a date because if she did andwas excited for it as a date, she'd find a babysitter.

Very true as well. I have a coworker with a 2-year-old. If she's with you and the 2-year-old is in the vicinity on her own, she is NOT paying attention to you. Kids that young are a real handful.

 

[enterthemadness]

Well, she has in the past failed on plans.

I asked her out twice last October. First time she said her mom had car for day. Second time never even replied, so sent her message--mind you this was all through messages on Facebook--in early November asking if she wanted to go out or just viewed me as a Friend. Never replied. -_- although first time she said mom got car today, don't like coffee, I can order a milkshake though while you get coffee. Which true. Cups N Cones has milkshakes there.

 

[Anita18]

For some reason ETM, you gave off the impression she was someone you either just met or just considered to date. If you asked her out last October and she ignored you then, the chances aren't high for you now either.

 

[DV8]

There is really no inappropriate time to compliment my c***.

"So I just found out my brother has cancer, but you know what, aside from that you have a really nice penis!"

 

[amazingfantasy15]

Well, she has in the past failed on plans.

I asked her out twice last October. First time she said her mom had car for day. Second time never even replied, so sent her message--mind you this was all through messages on Facebook--in early November asking if she wanted to go out or just viewed me as a Friend. Never replied. -_- although first time she said mom got car today, don't like coffee, I can order a milkshake though while you get coffee. Which true. Cups N Cones has milkshakes there.

She's just not that into you!

 

[enterthemadness]

She's just not that into you!

Yea. No one ****ing is, tiring. Really is tiring. At least MLB season, and several others sort of grab my attention away.

 

[Erzengel]

I mean it's great that you are attempting to meet people but not many people luck out on their 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th, etc. attempts. You have to keep at it.

 

[amazingfantasy15]

Yea. No one ****ing is, tiring. Really is tiring. At least MLB season, and several others sort of grab my attention away.

Well, aren't you in your 20's, living at home, with your only source of income being a paper route, with some kinda, sorta dream of going to school at some point in the future? It's gonna be uphill battle if that's the case. Don't stop looking, but also work on getting your life on track.

 

[enterthemadness]

Well, aren't you in your 20's, living at home, with your only source of income being a paper route, with some kinda, sorta dream of going to school at some point in the future? It's gonna be uphill battle if that's the case. Don't stop looking, but also work on getting your life on track.

True, true. Thanks to mom, I was able to take out divends at State Farm and re-appiled at college. Due to credit hours, got to wait until this Friday before signing up for classes. Gonna take 2 classes this summer, then hopefully 2-3 in Fall. Got $1,700 to work with. Should be enough for 4 classes and used books. At SAME time, I NEED to re-teach myself some math. Took 3 classes for math, failed 3rd one. Been nearly a year since I've done math. Still got the math books though. Like intro to algebra I failed last summer. It was hard, but I didn't give it my all to pass. Class is pre-credit course, doesn't count Towards GPA. I have...a lot of pre-courses to take it seems in math and English before being able to take any that goes Towards GPA.

 

[Erzengel]

Can't you apply for financial aid at college?

 

[enterthemadness]

Can't you apply for financial aid at college?

I keep flip flopping on if I want to apply for a grant loan considering how ****ed this country is with it's debt, student loan debt, and credit card debt.