The Relationship Thread and the Kingdom of the Crystal Advice

[Anubis]

It's funny cuz he is Sprung.

 

[DV8]

well . . . the song spoke volumes of truth

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

I wouldn't call her a "dumb *****" I actually find that quite offensive, but I see your point . . . man I am giving up all this:

all . . . . that . . . ass

Very hot. I thought you actually said Dumb *** but noticed the extra "*" after. Bottom line is once I read "bailjumping" I pictured myself in that situation and it would've been me hanging up the phone and forgetting about it. Easy for me to say of course but I lead an otherwise serious life so SERIOUSLY that isn't a problem I'd want to feel any obligation towards solving. Like last night for example. Sure, that was awesome as f*** but even if I had f***ed her what next? She cheats on me?!!? So I'll take the fun I had because it was fun while it lasted and my future is not set. Thrills galore are probably waiting just around the corner. So to me, yeah she seems to make dumb decisions. The girl last night made a dumb decision. She gave into my advances right away and neutered any long term respect I would've or could've had. No big deal. I'll take the now, but it might end of sacrificing the later. You already f***ed her, probably had some other good times, is that not enough? Sure you could take more but then you'll have to take more of the bad as well. Doesn't seem worth it in my opinion.

 

[LOBO3315a]

DV8, is putting up with all her crap, worth the sex?

Only you can answer this.

 

[hopefuldreamer]

My old housemate who I recently realised I have feelings for just before he went to Thailand travelling just caught me on facebook

He said he's having a great time but he's debating whether or not to come back when his friend does (which I think was after a month) instead of staying indefinitely and travelling more like he'd intended too when he booked the flight He said there's a 'few things' affecting his decision. I asked him what they were and he just said he wasn't sure about money and whether it'd be fun enough on his own to warrant the expense...

But could I also be a reason? Dare I dream?

*slaps self in face*

No, don't! Bad Becky!

 

[DV8]

I don't think sex is ever worth it...sex is valueless...I would feel bad just leaving her high and dry in this situation as just a good friend...but yeah I think she's becoming too much BS to deal with relationship-wise

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

I don't think sex is ever worth it...sex is valueless...I would feel bad just leaving her high and dry in this situation as just a good friend...but yeah I think she's becoming too much BS to deal with relationship-wise

I'd just say I do not know how I can help you because you can't. You're not the cops or a lawyer. If you have a lawyer tell her to call him but honestly what else can you do? Don't try to insert yourself into a situation. You don't have to be mean, just say I can't help.

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

I'd bargain to think if you'd never done "it" (aren't coverup words cute? It's almost like no one will know what we're talking about! ).

I just wanted to use one word rather than redescribe the whole incident. Not really trying to yadda yadda. I was typing fast responses.

 

[DV8]

I'd just say I do not know how I can help you because you can't. You're not the cops or a lawyer. If you have a lawyer tell her to call him but honestly what else can you do? Don't try to insert yourself into a situation. You don't have to be mean, just say I can't help.

Well I know I can't defend her or anything like that but she doesn't even have the luxury of contacting her attorney, family, bail bondsman without making a collect call everytime...I've been in jail before and that **** SUCKS...its the most hopeless, alone feeling u could imagine...as much as she's dumb for putting herself there, I still feel for her...I'm just trying to make sure everyone is on the same page so she can get out as painlessly and quickly as possible

 

[Spidey-Bat]

So, I quit the pussyfooting.

She was on Facebook tonight. So I asked her if she was free tomorrow. She said she had work Friday and Saturday. I said that I was thinking of going to the school, checking it out myself, and wondering if she wanted to grab coffee afterwards. She said thanks but no time. I said I was 50/50 on going since the weather is on-and-off rain tomorrow but that I may go sometime during the week since I mostly have morning classes. She said she was pretty busy between work and class. I asked if I could have her number in case I was down there and she was free to do something. After a few minutes of not replying, she signed off.

I hate that I had to do this on Facebook, I should have done it Saturday. I would have looked awkward but at least she'd see I'd have the balls to do it in person. I at least got some closure for the moment. I think we definitely can get along but she's gonna drive me crazy when it comes to doing stuff since it's impossible for my friends to get her to do stuff.

 

[DV8]

My old housemate who I recently realised I have feelings for just before he went to Thailand travelling just caught me on facebook

He said he's having a great time but he's debating whether or not to come back when his friend does (which I think was after a month) instead of staying indefinitely and travelling more like he'd intended too when he booked the flight He said there's a 'few things' affecting his decision. I asked him what they were and he just said he wasn't sure about money and whether it'd be fun enough on his own to warrant the expense...

But could I also be a reason? Dare I dream?

*slaps self in face*

No, don't! Bad Becky!

R u gonna tell him how u feel?

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

So, I quit the pussyfooting.

She was on Facebook tonight. So I asked her if she was free tomorrow. She said she had work Friday and Saturday. I said that I was thinking of going to the school, checking it out myself, and wondering if she wanted to grab coffee afterwards. She said thanks but no time. I said I was 50/50 on going since the weather is on-and-off rain tomorrow but that I may go sometime during the week since I mostly have morning classes. She said she was pretty busy between work and class. I asked if I could have her number in case I was down there and she was free to do something. After a few minutes of not replying, she signed off.

I hate that I had to do this on Facebook, I should have done it Saturday. I would have looked awkward but at least she'd see I'd have the balls to do it in person. I at least got some closure for the moment. I think we definitely can get along but she's gonna drive me crazy when it comes to doing stuff since it's impossible for my friends to get her to do stuff.

Yeah I'd just outright not really speak to this person anymore.

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

Well I know I can't defend her or anything like that but she doesn't even have the luxury of contacting her attorney, family, bail bondsman without making a collect call everytime...I've been in jail before and that **** SUCKS...its the most hopeless, alone feeling u could imagine...as much as she's dumb for putting herself there, I still feel for her...I'm just trying to make sure everyone is on the same page so she can get out as painlessly and quickly as possible

Well you can still feel sorry for her, can even tell her so but if there's nothing you can do then there's nothing you can do.

 

[LOBO3315a]

So, I quit the pussyfooting.

She was on Facebook tonight. So I asked her if she was free tomorrow. She said she had work Friday and Saturday. I said that I was thinking of going to the school, checking it out myself, and wondering if she wanted to grab coffee afterwards. She said thanks but no time. I said I was 50/50 on going since the weather is on-and-off rain tomorrow but that I may go sometime during the week since I mostly have morning classes. She said she was pretty busy between work and class. I asked if I could have her number in case I was down there and she was free to do something. After a few minutes of not replying, she signed off.

I hate that I had to do this on Facebook, I should have done it Saturday. I would have looked awkward but at least she'd see I'd have the balls to do it in person. I at least got some closure for the moment. I think we definitely can get along but she's gonna drive me crazy when it comes to doing stuff since it's impossible for my friends to get her to do stuff.

She's just not that into you. Go find someone who is.

 

[DV8]

So, I quit the pussyfooting.

She was on Facebook tonight. So I asked her if she was free tomorrow. She said she had work Friday and Saturday. I said that I was thinking of going to the school, checking it out myself, and wondering if she wanted to grab coffee afterwards. She said thanks but no time. I said I was 50/50 on going since the weather is on-and-off rain tomorrow but that I may go sometime during the week since I mostly have morning classes. She said she was pretty busy between work and class. I asked if I could have her number in case I was down there and she was free to do something. After a few minutes of not replying, she signed off.

I hate that I had to do this on Facebook, I should have done it Saturday. I would have looked awkward but at least she'd see I'd have the balls to do it in person. I at least got some closure for the moment. I think we definitely can get along but she's gonna drive me crazy when it comes to doing stuff since it's impossible for my friends to get her to do stuff.

She's not interested bro...u tried and will live to fight another day...move on to the next chick

 

[DV8]

Well you can still feel sorry for her, can even tell her so but if there's nothing you can do then there's nothing you can do.

Yeah but sayin "theres nothing I can do" sounds like BS... Saying "Imma doing everything I can" sounds better

 

[Spidey-Bat]

Yep, that's the sense I get. I figured I'd **** up the first time I'd pursue a girl, sucks it had to be her since I thought I had a legit chance. At least I went down swinging.

 

[DV8]

Yep, that's the sense I get. I figured I'd **** up the first time I'd pursue a girl, sucks it had to be her since I thought I had a legit chance. At least I went down swinging.

I don't think u ****ed up at all...u need to practice...a LOT...try different approaches and u will begin to refine what works for u...sometimes chicks it will seem like u have no chance with will feel your game; sometimes chicks u thought were really compatible don't bite...just how it works out...Michael Jordan didn't become great without practicing his ass off though

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

Yep, that's the sense I get. I figured I'd **** up the first time I'd pursue a girl, sucks it had to be her since I thought I had a legit chance. At least I went down swinging.

Well you didn't do anything wrong per say...that is, she just gave you a no. Which is fine. She may rethink that later, not your fault. Then you asked her for her number and kind of went for that concession. Shame. I never understand this logic: you offer her something, she declines, so then you go for less?!? If she says no then she is looking for a better offer. So if you're going to be persistent like that at least listen to what she's saying. Coffee is pretty bland, hard to entice someone with coffee 'cept maybe if it's some cheap post dinner sex invitation. So with the next girl I'd either get something fun going on or better yet ask her what she likes to do and when she has free time. That way it's about her and not just you looking for cheap excuses to hang out.

 

[Spidey-Bat]

Well you didn't do anything wrong per say...that is, she just gave you a no. Which is fine. She may rethink that later, not your fault. Then you asked her for her number and kind of went for that concession. Shame. I never understand this logic: you offer her something, she declines, so then you go for less?!? If she says no then she is looking for a better offer. So if you're going to be persistent like that at least listen to what she's saying. Coffee is pretty bland, hard to entice someone with coffee 'cept maybe if it's some cheap post dinner sex invitation. So with the next girl I'd either get something fun going on or better yet ask her what she likes to do and when she has free time. That way it's about her and not just you looking for cheap excuses to hang out.

The problem is that I don't drink because I was born with a liver problem. It's healthy now but I'm at risk for complications so I avoid alcohol. This is largely why I've never went after anyone before, I don't go to bars or parties and get wasted like everyone else my age. I thought of asking her to lunch but I was advised against this since people usually don't do anything after lunch. I also would have done dinner but that seems like rushing things. I also wanted to get coffee with her so if we hit things off I could invite her to see Daniel Tosh since I have tickets when he's in NYC but have no one to go with yet.

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

The problem is that I don't drink because I was born with a liver problem. It's healthy now but I'm at risk for complications so I avoid alcohol. This is largely why I've never went after anyone before, I don't go to bars or parties and get wasted like everyone else my age. I thought of asking her to lunch but I was advised against this since people usually don't do anything after lunch. I also would have done dinner but that seems like rushing things. I also wanted to get coffee with her so if we hit things off I could invite her to see Daniel Tosh since I have tickets when he's in NYC but have no one to go with yet.

Honestly I would've just invited her to Daniel Tosh. You could've asked her "do you like Daniel Tosh?" over Facebook.

 

[Spidey-Bat]

Honestly I would've just invited her to Daniel Tosh. You could've asked her "do you like Daniel Tosh?" over Facebook.

Maybe but she's flakey on plans even with my friend she's close with. He said they planned on volunteering at an animal shelter together once. He goes there and a few minutes later she texts him that she can't come. She would have either made an excuse not to go or stood me up in which case I'd have gone to it by myself when I could have asked a friend to go with me and had a much better time. We could have gotten along but trying to do things with her would have driven me nuts. Two things she mentioned on Saturday that turned me off from asking her out was she was *****ing about her ex-boyfriend and that she had no interest in a relationship. The latter could be she's bitter that her friends are and she isn't, but she doesn't seem ready for one. Perhaps one day she will be. I'm not the type of person who holds a grudge and burns bridges, so we'll see.

 

[Nell2ThaIzzay]

She's not interested bro...u tried and will live to fight another day...move on to the next chick

Yup, and like others have said, there's nothing wrong about it. You didn't do anything wrong. Even if you feel bad about asking her out over Facebook, for what it's worth, I have gotten dates over Facebook before. I asked out a girl over Facebook chat and got a date for that weekend. Granted, it never progressed anywhere after the first date (and honestly, I'm glad it didn't - I wasn't even totally interested in her at the time, it was just something that ended up just happening, but she's not the kind of girl that I'd have wanted to be with - not a knock on her, she's just fine, just not the girl for me), but I still got it.

I also had a girl that I did a lot of "planning" with over Facebook and Twitter, and she -finally- asked me out over Twitter, and then essentially stood me up (she told me to meet her somewhere on campus one day, when I went to meet her there she wasn't there, and proceeded to ignore any and every attempt at communication I tried from that point on ).

Facebook isn't a dating site by any means, but while it's not ideal, asking someone out over Facebook can be fine.

 

[hopefuldreamer]

R u gonna tell him how u feel?

Don't be ridiculous... I'm just gonna dance around it, be all angsty and probably hook up with him a few more times before we screw up our friendship completely by ignoring what's going on

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

Ah, from such humble beginnings this thread has evolved from the naive young tadpole to a wonderful, mature frog, who does drugs, sleeps with badonk-a-donk bailjumping women and fingerbangs hot drunk ****s is alleyways between nightclubs.