Where are people getting the idea that the Renegade ending is the 'true one' and the only one in which Shepard lives? Whether or not Shepard lives is based on your Effective Military Strength (Military Strength x Readiness Rating) and whether or not you 'save' Anderson from the Illusive Man. If you save Anderson and your EMS is above 4000, Shepard will live even if you pick the Paragon or Neutral option. I mean, it's clearly stated on both IGN guides as well as the official game guide.
And speaking of patching the ending, I don't think there can be anything worse than Bioware actually changing the ending because of fan outcry. What they
can do, however, is give us an extended epilogue that shows us the outcome of all our decisions as in what happened to all the other races, your squadmates, the galactic army you amassed and yes, Earth. I think that's the best way to fix this whole situation without really compromising the creators' intended vision. This way, fans will get to see how their choices appropriately affected the ending and Bioware can keep their dark and depressing finale intact. The main problem with the ending was that there was no closure, no catharsis and that can be remedied. Just like what Peter Jackson did with the LOTR trilogy and the extended editions.