A New "Official" Relationship Advice Thread

[Hawkingbird]

I'm loosing track here. So I'm going to give everyone advice I learnt from my childhood best friend;

“It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live.”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone
That's for all those who are in my possistion, or are chasing after someone.

 

[Hound55]

I think Ayn Rand had some pretty "interesting views" [see total nutbag] in general...

 

[hopefuldreamer]

I think Ayn Rand had some pretty "interesting views" [see total nutbag] in general...

Like what?

I'm doing some reading, but she just doesn't seem that mental to me yet

 

[LOBO3315a]

Like any philosophy; taken to an extreme, it's never a good thing. There are times when looking out for yourself is a good thing. There are times when looking out for your fellow man is a good thing. There are times when both are bad.

Figuring out when to do which is one of life's struggles.

 

[Sloth7d]

Like what?

I'm doing some reading, but she just doesn't seem that mental to me yet

Well, she once defended a child murderer, she's gone on record as saying she'd never vote for a female president, and has even stated that the Native American's deserved to have their land taken from them because they were primitive and stupid. These are all moments taken from interviews though. If you keep to her works, she's pretty okay; at least I think so with exception for the whole idea about "no" meaning "yes" for sexual consent.

 

[hopefuldreamer]

Well, she once defended a child murderer, she's gone on record as saying she'd never vote for a female president, and has even stated that the Native American's deserved to have their land taken from them because they were primitive and stupid. These are all moments taken from interviews though. If you keep to her works, she's pretty okay; at least I think so with exception for the whole idea about "no" meaning "yes" for sexual consent.

Okay yeah, that's crazy enough for me.

It's got me curious enough to want to read the book though.

 

[Hound55]

Her understanding of Kant wasn't exactly perfect and she was known for going off the deep end, out of her tree regarding him... calling him the most evil man who ever lived, a monster and so forth...

Oh... and her diaries also featured at-length praise of a serial killer rapist as an example of ... well, no need to paraphrase. Some direct quotes:
"the amazing picture of a man with no regard whatsoever for all that a society holds sacred, and with a consciousness all his own. A man who really stands alone, in action and in soul."
"Other people do not exist for him, and he does not see why they should."
Basically using him as an example of her view that "A strong man can eventually trample society under its feet. That boy was not strong enough"

 

[hopefuldreamer]

Her understanding of Kant wasn't exactly perfect and she was known for going off the deep end, out of her tree regarding him... calling him the most evil man who ever lived, a monster and so forth...

Oh... and her diaries also featured at-length praise of a serial killer rapist as an example of ... well, no need to paraphrase. Some direct quotes:
"the amazing picture of a man with no regard whatsoever for all that a society holds sacred, and with a consciousness all his own. A man who really stands alone, in action and in soul."
"Other people do not exist for him, and he does not see why they should."

 

[SuperMike335!!]

For an ideology like feminism, they sure don’t stab at a woman who prefers to have sex with other women, or mechanical toys but god forbid one of them is sexually turned on by dominant male power, and some how she is deemed a sexual deviant or "gender traitor".

The type of sexual fantasy of Ayn Rand (dominat male badguys) is a shockingly common one. That raw sexual instinct with countless generations of natural selection and adaptation could be so easily changed with a handful of generations groomed on the religion of feminism is silly.

Feminism is a religion, with its own internal culture, devils, angels and internal contradictions.

When feminists call a woman who has a sexual preference for dominant alpha males a "traitor to her gender" it exposes their world view, as gender warfare, AND it also sounds morbidly familiar to a neo Nazi calling a "race traitor", as they view the world in racial warfare.
When an ideology has been taken too far the former leaders become perpetual "cause industry’ executives always thumping a cause and beating a dead horse, because that is how they make a living, and they know no other trade.

Then they start to get silly. It is one thing to insist that a woman not be bought and sold as a mans property, and that she too should be allowed to have education, own property etc…

But when they insist that a woman not be allowed to have a sexual preference for any specific type of men, or type of sexual urges, they have crossed a line into being hypocrites in the extreme.

For men reading this, take note, if you want to be a sycophant to feminism, and always ask permission and apologize to women for even being male, because you have been taught (brain washed) that is the right thing to do, then welcome to a life long journey of celibacy.

 

[hopefuldreamer]

The type of sexual fantasy of Ayn Rand (dominat male badguys) is a shockingly common one.

Agreed, that's totally how I felt when I was reading about the 'controversy' of her sort of rape scene.

Obviously people will immediately misinterpret something like that as negative, because they can't face the truth that tonnes of women have fetishes for domination and other such 'unseemly' things.

I mean, you wouldn't call a man a traitor to his gender if he said he liked a woman in a leather one peice, holding a whip

 

[Lily Adler]

Not to hijack this thread, but I need some relationship advice.

I'm about to move in a few weeks. I have to start a job in Dallas in February and only have a month and a half to find a new place. I thought of getting a head-start on packing. As I was going through my closet I found an old notebook that had a friend's number in it. I haven't been in contact with this friend for about three years. I was wondering if I should I call him or not?

We were close and we had some form of chemistry. It felt like we should have always been more than friends, but the timing was never right. I would like to re-kindle our friendship. I may want something more, though.

 

[bullets]

You know, no matter how drunk I've ever gotten, ugly girls remain ugly. Even if they were ready for action, I still said "No."

Same here. I was once on the verge of a black out and this 40 year old woman (I'm guessing) wouldn't stop following me around. I still managed to tell her to f-off. Although my morals sometimes come into question ( I hooked up with a friends sister) and other times they don't ( I was giving a girl a piggy back ride because she was wasted and I put her in the car with her friends , she kept asking me to come home with her, this all in five minutes of meeting her) .

I havent replied to her yet - mainly because at the party I was getting too **** faced drunk to the point of being incoherent, and today I was way too hungover. My friend says I should respond to her tho, for courtesy, and seems to be hinting around that I should use the opportunity to ask this girl out again. I dont know tho.

I wonder if she was just acting different around her friend or that girl had something to do with it. I say text her and maybe go along with her somewhere if she invites you to a party, it couldn't hurt.

 

[bullets]

Not to hijack this thread, but I need some relationship advice.

I'm about to move in a few weeks. I have to start a job in Dallas in February and only have a month and a half to find a new place. I thought of getting a head-start on packing. As I was going through my closet I found an old notebook that had a friend's number in it. I haven't been in contact with this friend for about three years. I was wondering if I should I call him or not?

At the very least , he'll be glad you called. It's always good to hear from an old friend and see how they're doing. Also you have a good opening so it's not just like calling them completely out of the blue. I wouldn't expect anything but at least there will be a bit of closure if it doesn't turn out how you might expect.

 

[Lily Adler]

Thank you.

 

[AndThePickles]

Not to hijack this thread, but I need some relationship advice.

I'm about to move in a few weeks. I have to start a job in Dallas in February and only have a month and a half to find a new place. I thought of getting a head-start on packing. As I was going through my closet I found an old notebook that had a friend's number in it. I haven't been in contact with this friend for about three years. I was wondering if I should I call him or not?

We were close and we had some form of chemistry. It felt like we should have always been more than friends, but the timing was never right. I would like to re-kindle our friendship. I may want something more, though.

Does he live far from where you'll be moving? I'd be careful to even try to rekindle a friendship if it's going to be long distance.

 

[Lily Adler]

Just 4 hours. Does that count as long distance?

 

[AndThePickles]

Yes. And if there end up being mutual feelings, it's a bad idea to try to start a long-distance relationship...lot of potential hurt feelings.

 

[terry78]

Rand has a couple rare interviews on Youtube if you can find them.

 

[SuperMike335!!]

Not to hijack this thread, but I need some relationship advice.

I'm about to move in a few weeks. I have to start a job in Dallas in February and only have a month and a half to find a new place. I thought of getting a head-start on packing. As I was going through my closet I found an old notebook that had a friend's number in it. I haven't been in contact with this friend for about three years. I was wondering if I should I call him or not?

We were close and we had some form of chemistry. It felt like we should have always been more than friends, but the timing was never right. I would like to re-kindle our friendship. I may want something more, though.

Sounds to me like you have strong feelings for him than you are willing to admit. Does looking back on it give you a sense of loss, a heavy feeling on your chest making it hard to breath?

If you chose to communicate, first find out what has been going on with him. See if he has got a facebook page, and friend him. Don't be shocked if he is already married with 2 kids. If he is in a relationship now doing so may be taboo, although your mere pressence may cause his wife/GF to get protective of him.

Proceed with your plans on moving either way, and be prepared for the situation that soon a handsome stranger will enter your life and make an all new thrilling mess of it.

 

[Anita18]

Yeah, like this is what I was wondering. Even if it works out and you put a lot of time and effort into making it work, is it still worth it? Like sometimes you go into it hoping that it will work out in the end and it will be happily ever after, but more often than not, I've seen it not work out which makes me wonder was it even worth the fight. And how much is too much before you realize its just not working.

But you know, happily ever after is never guaranteed. I was reading an engagement story by someone at another forum, and it was really cute (or lack of proper engagement, as it were, which is why it was so cute ) and they had a happy 15-year marriage. It ended because he died of brain cancer.

There's only here and now. If you are really happy for just a few years, or even just a few months, maybe that would be worth it. But if it's mostly pain and few moments of happiness, I don't think that'd be worth it. I've known couples like that - half the time they're lovey dovey and the other half they're at each other's throats. Salvaging that sort of relationship isn't worth it to me, but it might be for them. It's really an individual thing.

My first bf and I didn't work out but I don't really regret dragging out the relationship 6 months longer than it should have lasted. I learned a lot from that.

Her understanding of Kant wasn't exactly perfect and she was known for going off the deep end, out of her tree regarding him... calling him the most evil man who ever lived, a monster and so forth...

Oh... and her diaries also featured at-length praise of a serial killer rapist as an example of ... well, no need to paraphrase. Some direct quotes:
"the amazing picture of a man with no regard whatsoever for all that a society holds sacred, and with a consciousness all his own. A man who really stands alone, in action and in soul."
"Other people do not exist for him, and he does not see why they should."
Basically using him as an example of her view that "A strong man can eventually trample society under its feet. That boy was not strong enough"

Ah, the admiration of a man truly out for himself.

As my friend said, "I don't dig guys who did Ayn Rand."

At the very least , he'll be glad you called. It's always good to hear from an old friend and see how they're doing. Also you have a good opening so it's not just like calling them completely out of the blue. I wouldn't expect anything but at least there will be a bit of closure if it doesn't turn out how you might expect.

Agree. If you feel like doing it, just do it.

 

[Sloth7d]

For an ideology like feminism, they sure don’t stab at a woman who prefers to have sex with other women, or mechanical toys but god forbid one of them is sexually turned on by dominant male power, and some how she is deemed a sexual deviant or "gender traitor".

I don't know about "gender-traitors", but if you're advocating on equality between the sexes, you kind of look down upon those that love being dominated and those that love dominating others with equal disdain; at least the way Dominique was dominated. You may acknowledge they have the freedom to choose that, but all the same, depending on how much they prefer male dominance in general and not just sexually, you tend to look on them as Uncle Remuses/Toms. In which case, Rand definitely qualifies as such, seeing as she personally stated that she would never vote for a female president because a woman's role should be to admire men in positions of power. Which is kind of hypocritical for someone in Rand's position to say. At least this is the general view you'd get in the feminist circles I interract with (and please remember there are several ideologies of feminism; some in fact are very fundamental in their ideals to the point where they are very sexist).

The type of sexual fantasy of Ayn Rand (dominat male badguys) is a shockingly common one. That raw sexual instinct with countless generations of natural selection and adaptation could be so easily changed with a handful of generations groomed on the religion of feminism is silly.

I think women have come a long way from their more submissive role in nature for a long time now if world history is any indication. I don't believe it's necessarily natural for either sex to be submissive in the human species anymore but merely a preference. My personal opinions on biology aside, all I know is, I wouldn't continue trying to engange in sex with a woman if she fought me in protest like Dominique did to Howard. I mean if at any point I would feel confortable describing my sexual experience with a woman as me humiliating her like the "shameful, contemptuous possession" she is, I would think there is something wrong with myself. That a person could actually want to be raped is indeed a baffling idea to me, and I will plainly admit not to understand where you're coming from should you insist some women want to be rape like Dominque's character.

 

[SuperMike335!!]

As my friend said, "I don't dig guys who did Ayn Rand."

So, you’re not into old guys.

 

[Lily Adler]

Yes. And if there end up being mutual feelings, it's a bad idea to try to start a long-distance relationship...lot of potential hurt feelings.

True. I will call him to see how he's doing, but that's probably it. I don't have high expectations of anything romantic happening.

Sounds to me like you have strong feelings for him than you are willing to admit. Does looking back on it give you a sense of loss, a heavy feeling on your chest making it hard to breath?

If you chose to communicate, first find out what has been going on with him. See if he has got a facebook page, and friend him. Don't be shocked if he is already married with 2 kids. If he is in a relationship now doing so may be taboo, although your mere pressence may cause his wife/GF to get protective of him.

Proceed with your plans on moving either way, and be prepared for the situation that soon a handsome stranger will enter your life and make an all new thrilling mess of it.

Thank you, I'm very aware how I feel and your description is pretty much how I felt. I tried the facebook thing and nothing. I'll call him and have him tell me what's going on in his life. It will be nice just talking to him again.

 

[SuperMike335!!]

I don't know about "gender-traitors", but if you're advocating on equality between the sexes, you kind of look down upon those that love being dominated and those that love dominating others with equal disdain; at least the way Dominique was dominated. You may acknowledge they have the freedom to choose that, but all the same, depending on how much they prefer male dominance in general and not just sexually, you tend to look on them as Uncle Remuses/Toms. In which case, Rand definitely qualifies as such, seeing as she personally stated that she would never vote for a female president because a woman's role should be to admire men in positions of power. Which is kind of hypocritical for someone in Rand's position to say. At least this is the general view you'd get in the feminist circles I interract with (and please remember there are several ideologies of feminism; some in fact are very fundamental in their ideals to the point where they are very sexist).



I think women have come a long way from their more submissive role in nature for a long time now if world history is any indication. I don't believe it's necessarily natural for either sex to be submissive in the human species anymore but merely a preference. My personal opinions on biology aside, all I know is, I wouldn't continue trying to engange in sex with a woman if she fought me in protest like Dominique did to Howard. I mean if at any point I would feel confortable describing my sexual experience with a woman as me humiliating her like the "shameful, contemptuous possession" she is, I would think there is something wrong with myself. That a person could actually want to be raped is indeed a baffling idea to me, and I will plainly admit not to understand where you're coming from should you insist some women want to be rape like Dominque's character.

Ignoring Dominques character, and back to down on earth right here.

Rape fantasy IS extremely common among women, especially when the rapist is in fact the epitome of the dominant and powerful male. This points to the root of the attraction being the power itself.

I see these "Rape fantasies" more as a desire for sex where the male is the one in charge, where he does not gently stop to ask her, interrupting the moment of passion, "does it feel good?", or "are you enjoying it?".

Where instead he really takes her and uses her sexually as if she were his possession for his own gratification. By that I do not mean being a two pump chump, but rather being rough, dominant, willing to call her names and talk really dirty too. To even go so far as to choke her, spit on her, and pull her hair. Where when the sex is done, the bed is a mess, books have fallen off the shelf, her hair is a giant matted sweat covered mop and she likely has some bruises from where he simply gripped her flesh too hard.

• That is what a lot of women do want/crave sexually and are in our modern and soft society they are often lacking in their lives. I should say literally starved of by the masses of low testosterone men who are her only options.

It is so uncommon to find, and so common in desire that if a guy does this for a girl a few times, she may become a stalker, and you will have to get her number blocked and still she will try to find ways to contact, and always seems to find a another way to just pop up in your life.

 

[Anubis]

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