A New "Official" Relationship Advice Thread

[Hound55]

I take a mirror out on dates and feel myself up in the movie theatre...

 

[Hound55]

It only gets worse - they'd been together for two years and she claimed she still loved him buuuuut the difference in music and general artistic taste was apparently just too much for her to live with anymore!

God what a stupid bint.

If the other person likes Nickelback it's understandable...

You say "bint" too?!? Squeeeeeee!

Perfect woman.

 

[WillardNation]

I take a mirror out on dates and feel myself up in the movie theatre...

Careful, that's what got Pee Wee Herman in trouble.

 

[Anita18]

If the other person likes Nickelback it's understandable...

You say "bint" too?!? Squeeeeeee!

Perfect woman.

I like a few of Nickelback's songs...even if they all sound the same.

I say whatever obscure word comes to mind first when describing things.

 

[Boy Scout]

It only gets worse - they'd been together for two years and she claimed she still loved him buuuuut the difference in music and general artistic taste was apparently just too much for her to live with anymore!

God what a stupid bint.

 

[bullets]

Like is falling in love and getting into a relationship really so hard? And again, I don't mean hooking up with someone for the night or a weekend.

If your willing, I don't think falling in love or getting into a relationship is really that hard. At least not for me. It's what comes after that I seem to keep sabotaging.

When the other person has issues it's worth trying to work things out , unless they jerk you around.

 

[Nell2ThaIzzay]

I've known girls who use stuff like music as an excuse to end, or avoid, a relationship.

My "ex" once told me that her and I would never work out because we didn't listen to the same music and I wasnt familiar with Andy Warhol.

I've heard another girl say that any man shes with needs to have a "matching CD collection"...

So yea, unfortunately those types are out there.

 

[Nell2ThaIzzay]

As far as SpideyVille's question goes... I really dont know.

People may remember me posting about Courtney from last year. There were a lot of obstacles I had to overcome - and I was never able to.

I dont know what it was about this girl, there was something I felt from her even from the very beginning and I told myself I was going to stick it out until the very end, whatever that end was. And I did. And that end came from me walking away when it became clear to me that I was the only one fighting. She finally just stopped trying, and gave up. So I had to walk away.

I dont regret it. Things didn't work out the way I wanted them to. I never felt for anyone before the way I felt for her. Im not saying I loved her, im just saying that I felt something with her, even if she did give up. So no, I dont regret sticking it out, even if I got nothing out of it.

She still crosses my mind from time to time. Just the other day, I saw a girl at WalMart who totally reminded me of her.

 

[Hound55]

I like a few of Nickelback's songs...even if they all sound the same.

I say whatever obscure word comes to mind first when describing things.

In which case you like all of them, BECAUSE they all sound the same.

You also like their pants around their feet...

*Overly breath-y vocalism*

 

[Hound55]

I've known girls who use stuff like music as an excuse to end, or avoid, a relationship.

My "ex" once told me that her and I would never work out because we didn't listen to the same music and I wasnt familiar with Andy Warhol.

I've heard another girl say that any man shes with needs to have a "matching CD collection"...

So yea, unfortunately those types are out there.

I have to be honest... There are songs which make me break out in rage-induced fanatic rants...

If I had to listen to some songs or watch some tv shows on a regular basis, homicide would ensue.

Also, I'll admit it... I can't watch 5 minutes of Sex and the City without passing some form of negative comment on the appearance of Sarah Jessica Parker.

That's right. I'm a joy to live with...

 

[Anita18]

I've known girls who use stuff like music as an excuse to end, or avoid, a relationship.

My "ex" once told me that her and I would never work out because we didn't listen to the same music and I wasnt familiar with Andy Warhol.

I've heard another girl say that any man shes with needs to have a "matching CD collection"...

So yea, unfortunately those types are out there.

Not a coincidence that all these girls are around college-age?

Either they wise up, give up and "lower their standards," or find themselves in a marriage where they eventually discover their husband likes banging dudes.

 

[HisMagicTrick]

I have to be honest... There are songs which make me break out in rage-induced fanatic rants...

If I had to listen to some songs or watch some tv shows on a regular basis, homicide would ensue.

Also, I'll admit it... I can't watch 5 minutes of Sex and the City without passing some form of negative comment on the appearance of Sarah Jessica Parker.

That's right. I'm a joy to live with...

That's not your fault. It's a natural compulsion.

 

[Nell2ThaIzzay]

Ah wells, doesn't seem to be your fault at all. Well besides the hangover. Maybe next time, more on you terms instead of "seeing how the party is?"

Yes the hangover was totally my fault, lol, I got way too over confident with the alcohol. Luckily I didn't make an ass of myself (I don't think).

As for the girl - yea I think I get what you mean. Thinking about it, there's probably some things I could have done differently in conversation. When she said she was ultimately going to another party, my friend said that was my cue to show her a good time to the point that she wouldn't want to leave. But I suppose I had some pretty heavy obstacles considering I couldn't even get her to dance.

Like I said, I tried to over come obstacles and be persistent without being creepy (ie trying to get my friend who was hosting the party to essentially be my wingman with her friend). Throughout the day, she seemed really interested in the party, but when she got there, I totally read "just checking it out but this isn't my night" from her body language.

She did text me after she left, thanking me for the invite, but saying they had "stayed too long". She also sent me another text asking if I could "pretty please" grab one of the cds, since she had forgotten (the party was also a cd release party for a couple friends of mine who were releasing an album they've been working on).

I havent replied to her yet - mainly because at the party I was getting too **** faced drunk to the point of being incoherent, and today I was way too hungover. My friend says I should respond to her tho, for courtesy, and seems to be hinting around that I should use the opportunity to ask this girl out again. I dont know tho.

 

[SpideyVille]

Every situation is different. Without going into all of the details, I think I've had two situations that fall not the categories you're talking about.

In one case, I eventually ended up dating the girl, we had a good time but ultimately things didn't work out and we went our separate ways. We did have a lot of fun, though.

In the other case ... I ended up marrying her. We definitely had some obstacles to overcome at first, but things works out and I couldn't be happier.

Yeah, like this is what I was wondering. Even if it works out and you put a lot of time and effort into making it work, is it still worth it? Like sometimes you go into it hoping that it will work out in the end and it will be happily ever after, but more often than not, I've seen it not work out which makes me wonder was it even worth the fight. And how much is too much before you realize its just not working.

When you're young it is a bit more difficult because a lot of those girls are either looking for a good time or looking for the wrong thing.

When I got into my mid-20's the girls started coming my way because eventually they go through those "bad relationships" and then meet a guy like me that is ACTUALLY nice and listened and wasn't a complete "playa".

Everyone is going to have their own difficulty but you will find it.

Yeah I heard something last night about how most girls when they're young have this big checklist of what they want and need a guy to be like, but after the age of 25, they start to cross things off which makes it easier for certain guys to finally get their attention.

People may remember me posting about Courtney from last year. There were a lot of obstacles I had to overcome - and I was never able to.

I dont know what it was about this girl, there was something I felt from her even from the very beginning and I told myself I was going to stick it out until the very end, whatever that end was. And I did. And that end came from me walking away when it became clear to me that I was the only one fighting. She finally just stopped trying, and gave up. So I had to walk away.

I dont regret it. Things didn't work out the way I wanted them to. I never felt for anyone before the way I felt for her. Im not saying I loved her, im just saying that I felt something with her, even if she did give up. So no, I dont regret sticking it out, even if I got nothing out of it.

I guess I'm just wondering at what point do you say its time to let go. Like do people quit because its not easy, or do they stick around because they still have hope that it will work out. And when they do, does it work out and is the relationship healthy?

Personally, I've always stuck it out until it was too late and it just seems like once you get to that point, it might be better to just let go instead of wasting time trying to make it work.

 

[hopefuldreamer]

Often that first sign it is a subconscious test of persistence, which for many women is a major turn on.

Amen to that!

'We shouldn't be doing this' is pretty much code for 'this is really hot because it's 'wrong''.

I'm a firm believer that any uttering of 'we shouldn't be doing this' should be followed by 'I know, but I can't keep my hands of you' and even more furtive groping

She was actually completely sober. She's not much of a drinker and the party was at her house so didn't drink at all. I, on the other hand, took the liberty of getting pretty wasted.

This is all very true. And I knew that but, again, at the time I was just too drunk to be smooth. I'm sure it's going to happen eventually. We both want to **** each other and we're about to be spending a lot of time together. Both at the gym and socially since we're friends. I'm not too worried about, I really don't care too much for drunk sex anyway.

Is it possible she stopped it BECAUSE you were drunk and she was sober and she thought it'd be weird being in such close quarters if you were only doing it because you were drunk and regretted it and felt all awkward?

 

[SuperMike335!!]

She was actually completely sober. She's not much of a drinker and the party was at her house so didn't drink at all. I, on the other hand, took the liberty of getting pretty wasted.

This is all very true. And I knew that but, again, at the time I was just too drunk to be smooth. I'm sure it's going to happen eventually. We both want to **** each other and we're about to be spending a lot of time together. Both at the gym and socially since we're friends. I'm not too worried about, I really don't care too much for drunk sex anyway.

Oh, ****, well when you're drunk things don't always go right, can't exactly bring your A game then.

Look at the bright side, you didn't end up having sex with ogre thinking she was a hotty with alocohol goggles on. t:

 

[LOBO3315a]

You know, no matter how drunk I've ever gotten, ugly girls remain ugly. Even if they were ready for action, I still said "No."

 

[Lord Valumart]

Yeh, I've never understood that. The look of people has never really changed when I've been drinking.

 

[Sloth7d]

Amen to that!

'We shouldn't be doing this' is pretty much code for 'this is really hot because it's 'wrong''.

I'm a firm believer that any uttering of 'we shouldn't be doing this' should be followed by 'I know, but I can't keep my hands of you' and even more furtive groping

Ayn Rand... is that you?

 

[LOBO3315a]

Yeh, I've never understood that. The look of people has never really changed when I've been drinking.

That being said, I have had sex with women who most people would consider ugly, but we had a mental connection and that attracted me more than her looks. And it didn't take alcohol to do that.

 

[hopefuldreamer]

Yeh, I've never understood that. The look of people has never really changed when I've been drinking.

I don't think it's that people's looks change, your just so much more loved up that your more willing to hook up with them despite the fact you wouldn't touch them with a barge pole sober.

Ayn Rand... is that you?

... yeah you lost me

I even googled her and still don't see the connection

 

[Hound55]

Yes, I think the term is more a metaphor for the way people react with much of the inhibitions lifted from the subject under the influence of alcohol, rather than literally viewing ugly people as attractive.

As for the Ayn Rand connection, I think he's referring to her rational egoism and the "virtue of selfishness" as a joke. I.E. you recognise the generally understood "ethics" of what you "shouldn't be doing", but "the hell with that crap, it feels good now".

 

[hopefuldreamer]

As for the Ayn Rand connection, I think he's referring to her rational egoism and the "virtue of selfishness" as a joke. I.E. you recognise the generally understood "ethics" of what you "shouldn't be doing", but "the hell with that crap, it feels good now".

And this woman is a well known enough pop culture reference that I should have got all that at the mention of her name?

Huh, I wonder why i've never heard of her?

 

[Sloth7d]

... yeah you lost me

I even googled her and still don't see the connection

Google: "understanding the rape scene in The Fountainhead". Take note.

Spoiler

And understand that I was just joking.

 

[Sloth7d]

Yes, I think the term is more a metaphor for the way people react with much of the inhibitions lifted from the subject under the influence of alcohol, rather than literally viewing ugly people as attractive.

As for the Ayn Rand connection, I think he's referring to her rational egoism and the "virtue of selfishness" as a joke. I.E. you recognise the generally understood "ethics" of what you "shouldn't be doing", but "the hell with that crap, it feels good now".

Nah, I was taking the piss at Rand's portrayal of sex in her novel the Fountain Head, where "no" can actually be interpreted to mean "yes". In general, I think Rand had some pretty "interesting views" [see self-loathing] about women based on what she's said about that scene in interviews and what she's said about feminism in general in interviews.