Strange question for ladies (But men can answer too-just in reverse)

[Chris Wallace]

Okay, here's the scenario. You have a friend over. She & your man hit it off quite well & are talking well into the night. You find yourself getting tired & it looks like the two of them are going to be up for a while. Do you simply go to bed or send her packing first?

 

[Hooded Justice]

Okay, here's the scenario. You have a friend over. She & your man hit it off quite well & are talking well into the night. You find yourself getting tired & it looks like the two of them are going to be up for a while. Do you simply go to bed or send her packing first?

Send her packing. Otherwise, you'll find her panties in your laundry basket.

 

[BatSpider]

Okay, here's the scenario. You have a friend over. She & your man hit it off quite well & are talking well into the night. You find yourself getting tired & it looks like the two of them are going to be up for a while. Do you simply go to bed or send her packing first?

Is this a personal story?

 

[Kelly]

Okay, here's the scenario. You have a friend over. She & your man hit it off quite well & are talking well into the night. You find yourself getting tired & it looks like the two of them are going to be up for a while. Do you simply go to bed or send her packing first?

She would not be a friend, and he would not be my man, if I couldn't trust them....


I'm going to bed....

 

[chamber-music]

She would not be a friend, and he would not be my man, if I couldn't trust them....


I'm going to bed....

I agree. If you don't trust them then thats an issue too.

 

[Chris Wallace]

She would not be a friend, and he would not be my man, if I couldn't trust them....


I'm going to bed....

Wow. Excellent answer.
Obviously it's a matter of trust in any case. If you're comfortable in both relationships, it shouldn't be an issue.
And BatSpider, I'll say maybe.

 

[JLBats]

Yeah, this is a pretty detailed hypothetical scenario you've just laid out, and I'm gonna say it would bug me enough that they'd hit it off so well that I'd probably bitterly leave.

 

[Eggyman]

Go to bed, Chris. I'm sure it'll be fine.

 

[Chris Wallace]

Actually, I was the guy hitting it off with the friend.

 

[JLBats]

Well, enlighten us... should she have just gone to bed?

 

[terry78]

Actually, I was the guy hitting it off with the friend.

Oh snap.

 

[Chris Wallace]

Well, enlighten us... should she have just gone to bed?

In my situation, 'twas perfectly safe to do so. No matter the circumstances, any relationship I'm in, her friends & family are off-limits. I don't care if she goes down in a plane crash. That's just something I personally don't do. But it got me to wondering how others might react to that situation.
Although I should probably point out that I am no longer with the woman in question, but that night had nothing to do with it.

 

[Nell2ThaIzzay]

I used to be the "friend" in this scenario.

I'd hang out with my friend and his girlfriend all the time. I'd hang out with her all the time while he was out of town, or at work.

I eventually became closer with her than I was with him, always giving her rides to work or to the doctor's, going out to lunch or our shopping with her, even going over late at night while he was out of town and she was lonely.

None of it ever turned sexual between her and I. We were friends, and neither of us wanted to advance any further. He trusted his girlfriend, and his friend, and nothing ever happened.

Technically, I guess the same could be said of me and my sister in law. I've kicked it with her quite a few times without my brother around, either hanging around watching movies late at night, or going out to lunch or what have you.

It's not about the gender of the people you significant other is hanging around, it's about the trust between yourself and your significant other.

 

[Chris Wallace]

I've run into this problem in many a relationship. I'd say a good 90% of my friends in my adult life have been female & there are some that I've spent a great deal of time with. Some of the women I've dated can handle this; some can't.

 

[Logan's Runt]

My husband goes to our mutual female friend's apartment (and work) to hang out, takes her shopping, out to dinner, etc. We both go if possible but I'm often busy so he goes by himself.

 

[Kable24]

I am married and I have a female friend I hang out with a good bit. My wife is comfortable with my friend and my relationship so much that she said that if she needs to get away that she can come and spend the weekend at our house even if my wife is away for the weekend. Now, that's trust.

 

[Moviefan2k4]

I agree with the sentiment that trust is paramount, but I also feel obliged to point out that the most well-intentioned scenarios can still end with disaster. That's why I think it's generally foolish (or at least unwise) for a married person to spend a lot of "free time" around somone of the opposite sex who's not their spouse, especially if said spouse isn't present. It can often be like walking on hot coals, and hoping you don't get burned; whatever the result, it's still a risk most shouldn't take, IMO.

 

[Kelly]

I agree with the sentiment that trust is paramount, but I also feel obliged to point out that the most well-intentioned scenarios can still end with disaster. That's why I think it's generally foolish (or at least unwise) for a married person to spend a lot of "free time" around somone of the opposite sex who's not their spouse, especially if said spouse isn't present. It can often be like walking on hot coals, and hoping you don't get burned; whatever the result, it's still a risk most shouldn't take, IMO.

If it ends in disaster, then I have no desire to be friends with, or have a relationship with either person.....hard way to learn that lesson, but at least its learned, hopefully before I marry the guy, and have my friend as my maid of honor...

 

[terry78]

Like Chris Rock said, "ladies, never leave your girls alone with your man."

 

[ShadowBoxing]

As a general rule, if I'm going to bed, the guests are leaving. This is definitely no exception.

 

[Nirvana]

I've been in situations like this before. Usually I would just hang in for the rest of the night until she wanted to leave. If you trust them both there is nothing to worry about.

 

[The Guard]

The real question is...if you don't trust your best friend to talk with your significant other...

1. Why are you best friends?
2. How significant is your other?

 

[hammy]

I think it's rude for guests to stay so long they make you sleepy. That aside, this is one of the main issues I have with men .. so many think they can't be friends with women. I don't get it and it drives me nuts. I hate having to limit my friendships to females only. I think it's bizarre. There are some great guys out there and I'd like to be friends and hang out, but it always gets .. weird.

 

[chaseter]

Make the guy's night and offer a 3-way

 

[chaseter]

I agree with the sentiment that trust is paramount, but I also feel obliged to point out that the most well-intentioned scenarios can still end with disaster. That's why I think it's generally foolish (or at least unwise) for a married person to spend a lot of "free time" around somone of the opposite sex who's not their spouse, especially if said spouse isn't present. It can often be like walking on hot coals, and hoping you don't get burned; whatever the result, it's still a risk most shouldn't take, IMO.

Are you saying that this always causes infidelity? I have a close married friend and we did stuff together all the time and never once did that cross our minds I think a sour experience on your part has hardened your heart.

It all comes down to trust. If you trust them, then it doesn't matter and if he/she cheats then you are better off with someone else so it really doesn't matter.