The Mental Health and Wellness Thread

[Mandon Knight]

Sounds like it. Something went horribly wrong somewhere.

Thatcher and the 80's. We are still recovering.

 

[Flash525]

Thatcher and the 80's. We are still recovering.

I don't think we ever will. The rich will continue to get richer, and the poor will continue to get poorer. You need only think about the millions in bonuses bank managers get - for simply doing their overpaid job. It's a joke, it really is.

 

[Mandon Knight]

I don't think we ever will. The rich will continue to get richer, and the poor will continue to get poorer. You need only think about the millions in bonuses bank managers get - for simply doing their overpaid job. It's a joke, it really is.

You are correct, we won't sadly.

 

[MaceB]

I've been looking around and applying for other jobs these past months, but their starting salary is typically £16,000 - £18,000 ($20800 - $22140) and I simply cannot afford that drop. It's roughly 1/3 of my wages that I'd be left without, and as I lack the experience or qualifications elsewhere, I'm stuck. It's okay saying to quit, or take a year out, or just get another job, but when you've got bills to pay, it really isn't that simple!

I keep picking the wrong lottery numbers too. Doesn't help!

My opinion -

I'm not saying that there won't be challenges. But are you incapable of addressing those challenges? And wouldn't it be worth it to you to invest in yourself overtime (be it education or mentorship opportunities, etc) so that you can ultimately be doing what you love?

It's a choice. You can choose to remain stuck, and to not make any progress... assuming that you have a less than stellar chance of getting where you want; or you can choose to invest the time, money, and resources to pursue what you want. One way ensures that nothing will happen; the other way, at very least, puts you ahead.. and more often than not... you'll get the things that you relentlessly pursue. More money, more time, better relationships with your parents or kids, better relationships with your spouse... all of that is very achievable.

You can find a job that fulfills you, and a relationship that empowers you, and friendships that support you. None of those things are out of your reach. But the truth... if most people were being honest with themselves... is that they really aren't going for those things, so they'll never get there. Talk is cheap, but what's your intention? Really? Many of us are more interested in our competing commitments, that we don't even know about. Some of us are committed to being the victim, for example, or to being right. You could go out, apprentice for a year, and find a job that you like... but that means you'd have to admit that you were wrong... that you really could do it all along.

Because putting the responsibility on you is much harder and more painful. If you need more education to get your dream job, go get it. If you need more physical fitness to get a relationship, go get it. Believe it or not, the limits you feel are most often limits you are putting on yourself. Will it happen overnight? No. But you are just as capable as others who have gotten there before you. And if something is worth it, then it's worth the time and the sacrifice. In many ways, it's unreasonable to just carpet-apply to 100 jobs, interview for 20, pick 1... and assume it's going to make you happy. That's taking what the universe gives you. It's being reactive. You want a life that makes you happy? Then you have to identify what would do it, plan for how to get it, and then execute. That's in your ability; it's just harder.

Walk with a clear intention, and the mechanism of how to get there will work itself out. Most folks simply don't have clear intentions. They take what is given to them. I include myself in that.

 

[Hobgoblin]

That's the frustrating part: there has been a huge rift between rich and poor since the beginning of time. Here in the states we had the robber barons and the gilded age, which was somewhat reduced in the early 20th century. Since the 1980s it's been going the other direction. These things always go in cycles. But this time, with all of the technology and power the government and elites have, I don't know how we can move the pendulum back.

Dad used to be able to support us alone. My wife and I both have to work constantly to keep our heads above water. I have a master's degree that has been useless in getting a decent job.

 

[Flash525]

My opinion -

I'm not saying that there won't be challenges. But are you incapable of addressing those challenges? And wouldn't it be worth it to you to invest in yourself overtime (be it education or mentorship opportunities, etc) so that you can ultimately be doing what you love?

It's a choice. You can choose to remain stuck, and to not make any progress... assuming that you have a less than stellar chance of getting where you want; or you can choose to invest the time, money, and resources to pursue what you want. One way ensures that nothing will happen; the other way, at very least, puts you ahead.. and more often than not... you'll get the things that you relentlessly pursue. More money, more time, better relationships with your parents or kids, better relationships with your spouse... all of that is very achievable.

You can find a job that fulfills you, and a relationship that empowers you, and friendships that support you. None of those things are out of your reach. But the truth... if most people were being honest with themselves... is that they really aren't going for those things, so they'll never get there. Talk is cheap, but what's your intention? Really? Many of us are more interested in our competing commitments, that we don't even know about. Some of us are committed to being the victim, for example, or to being right. You could go out, apprentice for a year, and find a job that you like... but that means you'd have to admit that you were wrong... that you really could do it all along.

Because putting the responsibility on you is much harder and more painful. If you need more education to get your dream job, go get it. If you need more physical fitness to get a relationship, go get it. Believe it or not, the limits you feel are most often limits you are putting on yourself. Will it happen overnight? No. But you are just as capable as others who have gotten there before you. And if something is worth it, then it's worth the time and the sacrifice. In many ways, it's unreasonable to just carpet-apply to 100 jobs, interview for 20, pick 1... and assume it's going to make you happy. That's taking what the universe gives you. It's being reactive. You want a life that makes you happy? Then you have to identify what would do it, plan for how to get it, and then execute. That's in your ability; it's just harder.

Walk with a clear intention, and the mechanism of how to get there will work itself out. Most folks simply don't have clear intentions. They take what is given to them. I include myself in that.

Your opinion is rather accurate I'd say. In my case, at the moment, whilst I dislike my current situation, I'm content, and it's breaking away from that which is the struggle for me. The problem with further education though is two things; the first being to stay committed to the course and actually do it, rather than put it aside, and the other is finances. If I were to ditch my current job and take up a course, I'd have very little income, and thus no financial support. I live alone, no spouse, no kids, with a mortgage (and other bills) to pay. Most courses (at least here in England) seem to be three years worth. That's some time to go without full time employment; a further setback is knowing that at the end of said course, there's no guaranteed job vacancy/position.

 

[spiderman2]

The job market is really strong right now. Now is a great time, so I hope you're still looking and are able to find some new work. Just cause it didn't work yet, doesn't mean you should stop trying. Is there anyone that you can lean on right now? A friend or family member? There's nothing wrong with accepting help and taking a month to get away, live in a healthy environment, and to focus on you for a bit. You'd be able to focus on the job hunt that way too.




Please understand... the viewpoint is the problem and not the job leading to the viewpoint. This passage represents what some folks would call a "scarcity mindset." It holds a lot of people back from trying and from ultimately finding the solutions that will make them happy. "I can't look for another job, because what will I do if I can't find one? What will I do if I look for a spouse and get rejected? What will happen to me, if I go for my dreams and I fail?" The jobs are out there my man... you can have a great career and great relationships... but it requires risk, persistence, and sacrifice on your part. Instead of being scared of failure... try flipping that script into being scared not to succeed. Don't ask yourself how you can continue to survive. Ask yourself, "what do I want to thrive?" and then chart out a way to get there. Take baby steps... little by little. But you need to know what direction you're pointing. Throwing a lot of darts and hoping that one will stick one day is most likely going to end you up in another terrible working environment, where you won't feel fulfilled. Don't do that. Put yourself first. Find out what the perfect job is for you, and start moving towards it. Because you don't deserve to die in a dead-end job brotha. You deserve to be doing what you're good at. You deserve to be doing something you love. How long would that take? 1 year? 2? 5? And would it be worth it to you to invest that kind of time and money into yourself, if it meant that you could be doing something you like at the end of it all?

My recommendation - make a dream board. yeah, it sounds cheesy.. but in order to get what you want, you need to know what you want. Write out your dreams for the next 1 year, 5 years, and 10 years. Put it on the wall right next to your mirror... some place you'll see it first thing in the morning. When you get up, spend 10 minutes meditating on how you want the day to go. When you're about to go to sleep, spend 10 minutes meditating on how the day went, and what YOU could have done to make it better - not others. You're in control.

I know it sounds new age, but I've found tapping to be a more effective technique than you might think. I'd recommend trying it.
https://www.thetappingsolution.com/what-is-eft-tapping/

And also, you need to find an outlet that you can do in community with other people. Block out 1-2 hours every week to meet with other people - it could be NA, it could be a movie club, it could be a political party, it could be a new weightlifting lass, it could rollerskating Fridays....whatever.... you need to meet with people who you can be open with and grow with, and who are there to support you. This does not include Bill from work, where you hang with him at his house getting trashed on Friday nights.... that's not community... that's avoiding your problems with another person.



I face similar problems. I'm an alcoholic/addict and self care is my primary difficulty. How to eat the right amount; how to exercise; how to bathe.... these things come difficult to me. Why? I don't know... it probably comes down to self love. If you don't love yourself enough to take care of yourself, then that frees everyone else of responsibility to care for you too. And in some ways... suicide by lifestyle feels like the most appealing choice. That way, my mom doesn't have to get upset about me slashing my wrists... I'll just fall into a diabetic coma one day instead. She'll be able to handle that better.
My advice - fake it till you make it brotha. We get fooled into thinking that our head is the primary source of who we are... but it's not. You are more than just your mind; in fact, your mind is a big trickster, who wants to fool you into analyzing the bad things. It's easy to feel like junk and then to say, "well, I feel like junk... and that's why my body acts like junk. Again, flip that script... treat your body well, and your mind will start treating you better. Physical health isn't the end, it's the beginning... so get out there, and demand that you spend at least 1-2 hours doing aerobic exercise everyday. Will it fix the underlying causes of your depression? No... but it very well could give you the energy and the mental agility you need to start to recognize how and why you're depressed. It's important to start with physical exercise and good nutrition first.



There's nothing wrong with you brotha. Others have achieved exactly what you say you want to achieve, and yes... you can do it too. The problem isn't with the conditions. The problem is how you're interpreting those conditions. Yes, it's hard. That's okay. It's going to be hard. But impossible? No, not impossible. Everything you want, you can achieve.
Sometimes, a mantra can help with these motivation issues. The mantra I was taught: I'm a courageous, honest, trusting, and forgiving man. I say that to myself about 20-30 times a day, particularly when the negative self talk starts to rear it's head. Just switch the adjectives to something that you feel speaks to you. What kind of man are you? What kind of man do you want to be? It won't turn around the negative thinking overnight, but it's a tool that you can use to blunt those repetitive talking points like, "I can't do this," or "this is never going to work." Replace the bad with the good.. even if it feels unnatural. Fake it til you make it.



It's coming up on 5 months since it happened. She downed a whole bottle of meds on March 7th and suffered severe brain damage.... she was pronounced brain dead on March 15th. She was the most amazing girl; it's hard to describe her. She loved to clean. She worked at Starbucks for 15 years... she could have been a manager easily, but she never sought accolades or anything like that. She just wanted to work an easy job during the week, and go outside and hike in nature on the weekends. She was unbelievably kind to strangers and to friends... she taught me courtesies like, don't smoke while in the drive through and it's important to send christmas cards... things like that. In her words, "you're either one of those people who replaces the toilet paper roll for other people, or you aren't."
She had the most beautiful, big brown eyes. She laughed from her whole body, and she put everyone at ease around her. She was never too afraid to politely ask for what she wanted. She was fearless and loving.....I was her Sun and Sky and she was my Moon and Stars. Thank you for asking about her.. I like telling people about her.

In terms of finding someone... so many people try to find others, in order to complete themselves. Again, this is backwards... Work on being complete on your own, and potential partners will flock to you. So work on you man... and do the things that you want to do. Join books clubs to read books you like, or a gym to get the physique you want, or join a train photography group... whatever. The point is, don't look for a girlfriend on a dating site. Look for a life that makes you happy, and you'll find girls who want a similar life that you do. It sounds like we're on the same page on this one.

Lastly... since you have a job and presumably insurance, I think you should consider seeing a psychologist who can 1) provide medications if needed (they do help, and you don't need to be on them forever) and 2) provide talk therapy. Medications alone will not be enough in my experience. Sorry for the long post man. Just my two cents.

I am still looking I just dont know where to look any more and the job market being great I think is far from true I see like no one looking to higher and when they are you have to compete with like 100 people. The tapping thing never heard about before will have to read that later. While I do go to a collage age church group but unfortactly I am going to have to miss it next semester because I have school that night and will be getting home late. So you under staid about addiction with the alcohol I am having that trouble but with sugar instead. I wish you good luck with the alcohol addiction. Addiction is a hard thing to break no matter what it is I am addicted to porn to its my like 2nd addiction to go with sugar and a lot of it is again because of my depression that comes from hating my job and felling stuck but its really pointless because the porn might make me fell better in the very moment but makes me fell worse in the long run has it just makes me fell more lonely and desperate for a gf and being that I am a christane it just makes me fell drity and guilty after wards. When it comes to being/felling negative a lot of it is that I am not a paytchint person to beging with and I fell like I am being pushed to be and in general I over think ever thing and I am not good at hiding how I fell and trying to hid/fake it at work ever day is making me want to explod. About the exurcise thing some one I know said I could use there bowflex for a while has they dont use it much has they got something else and I hate exercising but I am going to use there's because with having it at home I am more likely to work out has I can watch tv while I work out where at the gym I cant and also having to pay for gym and having to take time to go to gym makes me less likely to work out than using a bowflex at home.

Oh man that is sad about your gf so just this year so not a long time ago. I have never lost any one I am close to yet be friend, gf, family etc so I dont really no what its like and how long it would take for me to fell better and like accept it. The closents I have lost was my dog I had from around the time I was 6-19 so a dog I grew up with and even like 10 years later I miss that dog so much. So I dont really now what you are going threw but I wish you the best and hope eatch day gets a little easier for you. Yeah that is what I mean people say you need to be happy first and than meet some one and that you cant just like relie on someone to make you happy because at times people are going to disappoint you its going to happen because no one is perfect is the simple truth and if you are trying to get to know someone and work on your self at the same time that is just going to make life more work.

 

[Mandon Knight]

I can't approach anything with any enthusiasm, I just want out of life.

 

[spiderman2]

I can't approach anything with any enthusiasm, I just want out of life.

That is how I fell and I try to look forward to things that I like that are happing soon or about to come out but even that is just a very short time and felling kind of better before I go back to felling stuck again.

 

[Spider-Aziz]

I can't approach anything with any enthusiasm, I just want out of life.

Care to try you hand at politics?

 

[Mandon Knight]

Care to try you hand at politics?

I think this is a joke or gag ?

 

[Spider-Aziz]

I think this is a joke or gag ?

It's a simple question.

 

[Mandon Knight]

It's a simple question.

Its a very strange one, given the thread then. No, would be my answer as a straight answer to that question.

 

[Mandon Knight]

Why has Reek's post and my reply been removed ?

 

[Schlosser85]

He decided it was an inappropriate comment and asked for it to be deleted.

 

[Mandon Knight]

He decided it was an inappropriate comment and asked for it to be deleted.

Am glad he worked that out for himself, I hope my reply helped him make that decision.

 

[James T. Kirk]

It was ruled last night that the cause of Margot Kidder's death was a self-inflicted drug and alcohol overdose.

 

[Mandon Knight]

It was ruled last night that the cause of Margot Kidder's death was a self-inflicted drug and alcohol overdose.

I believed at the time it was sadly. Bless her soul.

 

[Mandon Knight]

Had near DKA the other night as a result of my internal anger, depression and anxiety. The stress suffer (self created) badly affects my Type 1. Through my own understanding of how much insulin I needed to rectify and putting myself in calm space, my ketone levels and BM figures came down to 'normal' level. Always a very scary experience and having nearly died in the past from them, horrible. I need to find ways to calm and learn to relax without having every thought zip inside my head. I am so not a naturally relaxed person, or 'laid back' persona.

For those interested, here is what a DKA is....

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diabetic_ketoacidosis

 

[harlequinade]

Had near DKA the other night as a result of my internal anger, depression and anxiety. The stress suffer (self created) badly affects my Type 1. Through my own understanding of how much insulin I needed to rectify and putting myself in calm space, my ketone levels and BM figures came down to 'normal' level. Always a very scary experience and having nearly died in the past from them, horrible. I need to find ways to calm and learn to relax without having every thought zip inside my head. I am so not a naturally relaxed person, or 'laid back' persona.

For those interested, here is what a DKA is....

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diabetic_ketoacidosis

so sorry to read that I think it would be a good idea to just walk away if there's any argument, situation or anything near you causing you stress. It can at least apply to this board, perhaps it will only limit the stress a little but it won't hurt to try that, it's just not worth it. Hope you're doing better!

 

[Mandon Knight]

so sorry to read that I think it would be a good idea to just walk away if there's any argument, situation or anything near you causing you stress. It can at least apply to this board, perhaps it will only limit the stress a little but it won't hurt to try that, it's just not worth it. Hope you're doing better!

Thank you harles, so much for reply. You are spot on, am taking it very easy today, avoiding any 'agro' if I can .

 

[Mandon Knight]

Useful quote just heard which I think is prevalent right now....

'Don't wait for the light at the end of the tunnel to shine, stomp along the tunnel and turn the ****er on yourself'. Quite. t:

 

[spiderman2]

Great so second week of school back up and I dont known why but my Finacle aid says its been terminated. I had a warning because of dropping some classes last semester and it said I had to go to a finacle aid workshop to like get it back so I did back at like the end of June but for some reasons its acting like I didn't. Like all my depression while like 90% of it is that I hate and I mean hate my job but cant find any thing else and I dont make a lot of money. Now I have to worry about this crap and its a money thing. Now something to keep me up all night has I cant talk to the finalce aid office un till tomorrow morning has its outside its hours right now. I fell like I cant catch a break at all life just sucks and I dont see a light at the end of the tunel. I swear nothing in my life and go right nothing.

 

[Flash525]

Great so second week of school back up and I dont known why but my Finacle aid says its been terminated. I had a warning because of dropping some classes last semester and it said I had to go to a finacle aid workshop to like get it back so I did back at like the end of June but for some reasons its acting like I didn't.

You can chase this though, surely? If you went to the workshops, there'd be a record of it, wouldn't there? It's probably just the result of a glitchy system. Make some phone calls, get it sorted.

Like all my depression while like 90% of it is that I hate and I mean hate my job but cant find any thing else and I dont make a lot of money. Now I have to worry about this crap and its a money thing. Now something to keep me up all night has I cant talk to the finalce aid office un till tomorrow morning has its outside its hours right now. I fell like I cant catch a break at all life just sucks and I dont see a light at the end of the tunel. I swear nothing in my life and go right nothing.

Deep breath dude! What do you do (for work?) and what are you schooling for?

 

[ehh]

Man, this thread really hits home as I've been struggling with serious depression for some time now, going back to my teen years. Doing very small things can be extremely difficult, such as getting up to make a cup of coffee. I don't enjoy things the way I used to when I was younger.

What really upsets me is that a lot of people in my life see depression as an excuse. One of my friends (who I distanced myself from lately) kept telling me that I am choosing to let myself be depressed and that I am lazy.

How do you deal with someone like that? I haven't been hanging out with him lately because he makes me feel worse and I find him to be quite toxic.