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PETER: Why no Jameson?! How come no Jameson?! He´s one of the iconic characters of the comics!! JK Simmons was brilliant in the original trilogy!!
FLASH: Maybe they thought he was too over-the-top? Didn´t fit the more grounded, grittier tone?
PETER: To hell with grounded!! Gritty can suck my barb-wired d*** and take it in the a**hole with a hot poker!!
FLASH: ...
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PETER: Okay, now three little balls to the left, and I´ll look like George Clooney! Or a spider-monkey, give or take...
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PETER: Wow, the new "MYO Megan Fox" kit has been seriously upgraded! No more Adam´s apple!
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PETER: What, Bruce Wayne is a billionaire and he still watches stuff on a LED screen? No wonder he lives in a cave, he´s a total caveman!
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PETER: Fine, we´re not doing Avengers business, or Dark Knight Roses business, but for the first movie of a reboot we´re doing just fine, dammit!! A lot of fans didn´t feel it was necessary to restart from scratch, and we got back to origin story elements from the original first movie! Even without anonymous praise and support, we´ve ensured a sequel!! All in all, we could be doing a helluva lot worse!!
FLASH: D-dude, why are you yelling at me?! I work at the movie series too, I´m glad it´ll keep going!!
PETER: Sorry, I don´t have an annoying internet troll at hand, so you´ll have to do!!
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CAPTAIN STACY: "The Hell they'll turn the Hobbit into a trilogy!"
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PETER: You´ll taste the black sperm of my vengeance!!
FLASH: Dude, black sperm is, like, super freaking weird! It might be a sign of some really serious disease, like a cancer or something! You should see an "urinologist" immediately!
PETER: ...
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Peter:Boy, I can't wait to go home and watch the new Spectacular Spider-Man!
Gwen: Huh?
Peter:Yeah, it's been a while, but I've been hearing a lot of talk about a show about Spidey and his teammates. I've heard people calling it the ultimate spider-man series or something. That's Season 3 of Spectacular Spider-Man, right?
Gwen: Ummm, Pete, I hate to be the one to tell you this but...
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Flash: Oh JEEZE!! Don't kill me!
Peter: WHERE THE [BLACKOUT]beep[/BLACKOUT] IS LEOB?!
hehehehehehehe
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GWEN: Please tell me all this icky, gooey white stuff is web.
PETER: Well...
GWEN: WHAT THE F***?!?
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PETER: Don´t let go of me, Gwen! If we touch the wires, the explosives go off!
GWEN: And if I don´t let go, will you "go off"?
PETER: Uh...