The Amazing Spider-Man The Spider-Man reboot caption thread - Part 1

[Panthro]

CAPTAIN STACY: "The Hell they'll turn the Hobbit into a trilogy!"

 

[ultimatefan]

PETER: Why no Jameson?! How come no Jameson?! He´s one of the iconic characters of the comics!! JK Simmons was brilliant in the original trilogy!!
FLASH: Maybe they thought he was too over-the-top? Didn´t fit the more grounded, grittier tone?
PETER: To hell with grounded!! Gritty can suck my barb-wired d*** and take it in the a**hole with a hot poker!!
FLASH: ...

 

[Panthro]

PETER: Why no Jameson?! How come no Jameson?! He´s one of the iconic characters of the comics!! JK Simmons was brilliant in the original trilogy!!
FLASH: Maybe they thought he was too over-the-top? Didn´t fit the more grounded, grittier tone?
PETER: To hell with grounded!! Gritty can suck my barb-wired d*** and take it in the a**hole with a hot poker!!
FLASH: ...

Hehehehehehe

Even iconic characters don't appear in every story.

PETER: "Did you [BLEEP] my Gwen Stacy?! Did you [BLEEP] my MJ Watson?! Did you [BLEEP] my Felicia 'Black Cat' Hardy?! Huh?! Huh?! Answer me damn it!"

FLASH: "What do you mean I can't appear on a popular cable horror show?! The guy who played Flash Thompson before me got to appear on a popular cable horror show, why can't I?!"
PETER: "It also cost him the Superman role! Think about that!"

 

[ultimatefan]

PETER: Okay, now three little balls to the left, and I´ll look like George Clooney! Or a spider-monkey, give or take...

 

[Panthro]

PETER: Okay, now three little balls to the left, and I´ll look like George Clooney! Or a spider-monkey, give or take...

Hehehehe

PETER: "I love video games..."

 

[ultimatefan]

PETER: Wow, the new "MYO Megan Fox" kit has been seriously upgraded! No more Adam´s apple!

 

[Panthro]

PETER: Wow, the new "MYO Megan Fox" kit has been seriously upgraded! No more Adam´s apple!

Hehehehehehehe

 

[ultimatefan]

PETER: What, Bruce Wayne is a billionaire and he still watches stuff on a LED screen? No wonder he lives in a cave, he´s a total caveman!

 

[OriginalMiles]

Peter: Which one's jump?

 

[Panthro]

PETER: What, Bruce Wayne is a billionaire and he still watches stuff on a LED screen? No wonder he lives in a cave, he´s a total caveman!

 

[ultimatefan]

Thanks, I try!

 

[ultimatefan]

PETER: Fine, we´re not doing Avengers business, or Dark Knight Roses business, but for the first movie of a reboot we´re doing just fine, dammit!! A lot of fans didn´t feel it was necessary to restart from scratch, and we got back to origin story elements from the original first movie! Even without unanymous praise and support, we´ve ensured a sequel!! All in all, we could be doing a helluva lot worse!!
FLASH: D-dude, why are you yelling at me?! I work at the movie series too, I´m glad it´ll keep going!!
PETER: Sorry, I don´t have an annoying internet troll at hand, so you´ll have to do!!

 

[Panthro]

PETER: Fine, we´re not doing Avengers business, or Dark Knight Roses business, but for the first movie of a reboot we´re doing just fine, dammit!! A lot of fans didn´t feel it was necessary to restart from scratch, and we got back to origin story elements from the original first movie! Even without anonymous praise and support, we´ve ensured a sequel!! All in all, we could be doing a helluva lot worse!!
FLASH: D-dude, why are you yelling at me?! I work at the movie series too, I´m glad it´ll keep going!!
PETER: Sorry, I don´t have an annoying internet troll at hand, so you´ll have to do!!

 

[ultimatefan]

PETER: You´ll taste the black sperm of my vengeance!!
FLASH: Dude, black sperm is, like, super freaking weird! It might be a sign of some really serious disease, like a cancer or something! You should see an "urinologist" immediately!
PETER: ...

 

[OriginalMiles]

CAPTAIN STACY: "The Hell they'll turn the Hobbit into a trilogy!"

Cap. Stacy: "That's it, Peter Jackson's dead!"

 

[Panthro]

PETER: You´ll taste the black sperm of my vengeance!!
FLASH: Dude, black sperm is, like, super freaking weird! It might be a sign of some really serious disease, like a cancer or something! You should see an "urinologist" immediately!
PETER: ...

It's funny because it's wrong.

 

[Panthro]

Cap. Stacy: "That's it, Peter Jackson's dead!"

 

[Supa]

Peter:Boy, I can't wait to go home and watch the new Spectacular Spider-Man!
Gwen: Huh?
Peter:Yeah, it's been a while, but I've been hearing a lot of talk about a show about Spidey and his teammates. I've heard people calling it the ultimate spider-man series or something. That's Season 3 of Spectacular Spider-Man, right?
Gwen: Ummm, Pete, I hate to be the one to tell you this but...

Flash: Oh JEEZE!! Don't kill me!
Peter: WHERE THE [BLACKOUT]beep[/BLACKOUT] IS LEOB?!

 

[Panthro]

Peter:Boy, I can't wait to go home and watch the new Spectacular Spider-Man!
Gwen: Huh?
Peter:Yeah, it's been a while, but I've been hearing a lot of talk about a show about Spidey and his teammates. I've heard people calling it the ultimate spider-man series or something. That's Season 3 of Spectacular Spider-Man, right?
Gwen: Ummm, Pete, I hate to be the one to tell you this but...

Flash: Oh JEEZE!! Don't kill me!
Peter: WHERE THE [BLACKOUT]beep[/BLACKOUT] IS LEOB?!

 

[Panthro]

GWEN: "Is that a spider in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?"
PETER: "Little bit of both actually."
GWEN: ""

 

[ultimatefan]

hehehehehehehe

GWEN: Please tell me all this icky, gooey white stuff is web.
PETER: Well...
GWEN: WHAT THE F***?!?

 

[Panthro]

hehehehehehehe

GWEN: Please tell me all this icky, gooey white stuff is web.
PETER: Well...
GWEN: WHAT THE F***?!?

 

[ultimatefan]

PETER: Don´t let go of me, Gwen! If we touch the wires, the explosives go off!
GWEN: And if I don´t let go, will you "go off"?
PETER: Uh...

 

[Panthro]

PETER: Don´t let go of me, Gwen! If we touch the wires, the explosives go off!
GWEN: And if I don´t let go, will you "go off"?
PETER: Uh...

 

[Panthro]

MS-CAPTAIN-MARVEL: "Do you see what I've been reduced to? I have to give Spider-Man aerial piggy back rides just to get the fans to notice me! Do you have any idea how demeaning this is?!"
SPIDER-MAN: "Hey it was this or pole dancing babe, it could have been much worse."
MS-CAPTAIN-MARVEL: "I am so glad your film rights belong to Sony so I won't have to put up with you if I ever make it into an Avengers sequel."