Confession is good for the Hype. - - Part 11

[Ultimatehero]

I killed the sheriff. But, I was too late to kill his deputy...

 

[sabetoonth]

I confess I just injured my hand to a miniscule degree smack-flipping a table 5-6 feet up and 7 feet out in an anger fueled outburst

 

[jonathancrane]

I confess I should not have eaten the pack of Poptarts.

 

[E-Man]

You can freeze my @$# right here and now, or you can see I rate it a 10/10 after watching the whole thing
When I said that thing you quoted I was 40 minutes in

Get to da coola!

 

[Duke]

I confess I don't like white chocolate.

 

[Spider-Aziz]

Get to da coola!

Not doing that Iceman

I confess I don't like white chocolate.

I don't like it either
And I really love brown chocolate

 

[jonathancrane]

I am not a huge consumer of chocolate; most of the year I go by without eating it, or having an inclination to do so. However, certain times I acquire a hunger for it, and end up going on a binge.

 

[jonathancrane]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WQvM4EM0lO8

Hans Zimmer (along with a group of musicians) playing "Time" live is the most beautiful thing I have heard.

---

Also, I am excited: I just completed my half of a draft of the script for a comic review my program my friend and I will be shooting this week.

 

[E-Man]

I confess that I decided to grow my hair a little bit, but after two days from my usual shave I'm already getting annoyed with it. I don't think I'll make it the month that I planned.

 

[sabetoonth]

You can do it man. Just keep on trucking.

 

[E-Man]

You can do it man. Just keep on trucking.

Too late. I already cut it off today.

 

[sabetoonth]

Hang in when I say hang in damnit

 

[E-Man]

You just don't understand the smooth head, mayne. The ladies even like it. I've gotten about 15 panties thrown my way today since I cut off the nappyness.

 

[sabetoonth]

Ah, I see, E-Man-san. Go. Make with the smooth headedness.

 

[Ultimatehero]

I just made a small side character seen in less than three pages gay on a whim just to use sexuality to bring an added dimension to the character. But, surprisingly think that that works because it acknowledges that it's there and the character is still the classic jock. I also like how it doesn't shout it to the audience - you just see his arm wrapped around another guy with not a word more about it. I think that's right this whim decision works... but, yeah, still a whim decision nonetheless lol.

 

[Brain Damage]

I just hit my 5,000th tweet. I'm not sure how I feel about that.

 

[Ultimatehero]

I'm ready for everyone to leave me and distrust everyone around me. I'm trying to change that.

 

[jonathancrane]

I have one source of guilt that I have not been able to forgive myself from. One of my parents and I were extras for the stadium scene in 'The Dark Knight Rises.' During the shoot, they came close to having a heat stroke. It is understandable why: the temperature was hot, we were sitting on metal seats, in thick clothing, and water was not delivered to our section until the afternoon was well underway. At one point, they sealed off the doors at the top of our section, because there was a wedding reception, which prevented people from accessing water, restrooms, and other resources.

A half hour after we left that infernal section of seating, said person said they were not feeling well and left to grab a bottle of water. They did not return for an hour, and I started worrying, as I had no way of reaching them. I was afraid to leave, for fear of not being able to find each other. They returned and I learned what happened.

To this day, the incident - which should have been one of my happier memories, as it was an intersection of several threads of my life (Batman, my home town, and participating in a film event that united both) - eats away at me, and refuses to leave. It was my fault that it happened: they went with me because I did not have a car at the time, and would have, because they have always been there for & supported me.

I would have felt slightly - a 1/1000th better-if we had made it into the film, but, we did not. I am not faulting the creative team for not including us, nor am I equating the value of a human life with something abstract as film. But, I am merely explaining that I cannot even offset some of my guilt with a basic utility (being in a film.)

The fact that the person who has always been there for me came close to severe trauma because of me haunts me. And it was for nothing, which makes it needless suffering. I apologize for posting; it seems anymore all I do is whine and complain here. But, this has been on my conscience since that day, and I cannot forgive myself for it.

 

[SpideyVille]

I'm ready for everyone to leave me and distrust everyone around me. I'm trying to change that.

I've definitely felt like that in times, especially in the last year where most of my friends have either drifted away or been pushed away, also because of trust issues. At this point, I don't have any real friends other than one guy that I've known for year. But I've always had a fear of abandonment so I rarely like to build friendships since I feel like they'll end eventually, and this has been more troublesome in the romantic department since I something fear that I won't be able to keep a relationship, let alone a friendship.

I have one source of guilt that I have not been able to forgive myself from. One of my parents and I were extras for the stadium scene in 'The Dark Knight Rises.' During the shoot, they came close to having a heat stroke. It is understandable why: the temperature was hot, we were sitting on metal seats, in thick clothing, and water was not delivered to our section until the afternoon was well underway. At one point, they sealed off the doors at the top of our section, because there was a wedding reception, which prevented people from accessing water, restrooms, and other resources.

A half hour after we left that infernal section of seating, said person said they were not feeling well and left to grab a bottle of water. They did not return for an hour, and I started worrying, as I had no way of reaching them. I was afraid to leave, for fear of not being able to find each other. They returned and I learned what happened.

To this day, the incident - which should have been one of my happier memories, as it was an intersection of several threads of my life (Batman, my home town, and participating in a film event that united both) - eats away at me, and refuses to leave. It was my fault that it happened: they went with me because I did not have a car at the time, and would have, because they have always been there for & supported me.

I would have felt slightly - a 1/1000th better-if we had made it into the film, but, we did not. I am not faulting the creative team for not including us, nor am I equating the value of a human life with something abstract as film. But, I am merely explaining that I cannot even offset some of my guilt with a basic utility (being in a film.)

The fact that the person who has always been there for me came close to severe trauma because of me haunts me. And it was for nothing, which makes it needless suffering. I apologize for posting; it seems anymore all I do is whine and complain here. But, this has been on my conscience since that day, and I cannot forgive myself for it.

Don't beat yourself up about it too much. You had no way of knowing how things would have turned out beforehand. I know its something you probably felt like you needed to let out, but don't worry about what could have happened. Just be grateful that things turned out alright in the end.

 

[jonathancrane]

@Spideyville:

Thanks.

 

[Ultimatehero]

From what I read, I'm unsure which part you would see as being your fault. Sometimes we blame ourselves for things that are entirely not our fault even at all. You did nothing wrong.

 

[SpideyVille]

@Spideyville:

Thanks.

No problem. Life is rarely easy as it is, so there's no point in placing burdens on yourself to make things harder.

 

[sabetoonth]

Driving through town today to help some people move house we passed by my aunt's house, well it was her house. She died a number of years ago and its the second to the last time I remember getting emotional over someone dying (last being my Grandma). But I got a little emotional again driving by. Of all my aunts and uncles she was my favorite.

 

[Duke]

Driving through town today to help some people move house we passed by my aunt's house, well it was her house. She died a number of years ago and its the second to the last time I remember getting emotional over someone dying (last being my Grandma). But I got a little emotional again driving by. Of all my aunts and uncles she was my favorite.

Losing someone is extremely hard, sorry for your loss.

 

[Anita18]

Don't beat yourself up about it too much. You had no way of knowing how things would have turned out beforehand. I know its something you probably felt like you needed to let out, but don't worry about what could have happened. Just be grateful that things turned out alright in the end.

I agree. Sometimes we hold ourselves responsible for something that isn't really our fault. Especially when it comes to another person.

But unless said person is a child who cannot make decisions of their own, the other person has a say too. They made a decision to come with you. They could have backed out at any time, especially when they were starting to feel sick. I'm not saying that you should feel jolly well good about it all, but know that the buck stops with them, not you.

I volunteered to help on a friend's movie. I wore a suit that prevented me from wearing anything over it, and it was a nighttime shoot so I visibly shook with chills the whole time. I couldn't take it off to pee. I wore a mask that didn't have eyeholes or even a mouth hole, requiring me to breathe very, very slowly with my head tilted down. I'm sure if it had been anyone else in it, they would have had a panic attack. I had to be led around everywhere.

I don't blame anyone for any of that. (Although I really would have preferred the costume designer to have at least thought ahead about a mouth hole. And the peeing issue. I still would have been cold though!) I made the decision to do it. I made the decision to stay. I'm glad to have helped him out, whether or not I see the results.

I probably would have felt differently had I actually gotten sick after the ordeal, since I was getting married a few weeks later, but luckily I dodged that bullet. It came out all right in the end.