Lord of the Advice: Fellowship of the Relationship

[Erzengel]

That's true. But then again, people do respond to emotions. I always say that unrequited love isn't the real deal because it's one-sided, but I can't deny that hearts any less. You have one of those experiences and it does change and alter you even if you're an absolute stoic. Your emotions respond to it. You question yourself to the point of despair when you've unnecessarily made a connection with someone that isn't returned. It's irrational behaviour, yes, but it's also immensely normal.

You're in a position where you've grown past that initial ordeal so you can laugh at it. When I'm going through it and laughing at it, it amounts to a self-mockery that somehow triggers even more negative feelings.

It's funny though. Absurdity always is.

Exactly, I was able to grow past it. And if I'm capable, anyone is. But I never had a messageboard or people giving me advice, so given the opportunity to pass on same to someone else on here with a history I think every person goes through and saying "Hey, it's not the end of the world and you shouldn't let your first experience sully your outlook because hey, look what happened to me/him/her. etc."

 

[Erzengel]

Doesn't matter. In the end, it doesn't matter.

You're right. It's....... pure attraction, felt for someone else. Can't force people to like me.

Doesn't matter.

Again, I read this before you edited it.

Quick story, met someone who hit A - Z on everything I was looking for in someone. We went out. I felt like we had a connection, there was even a moment I REALLY should have initiated something.

In hindsight, it probably would have been just a hookup and I would have had my heart broken regardless.

The thing is...now years later, it's not even really worthy of a chapter if I ever wrote a book.

 

[DV8]

One of the lessons you should learn here, is no matter how good you look, smart you are, funny you are, how much you have, what you drive, in the end you can't MAKE someone like you.

It's called attraction for a reason.

This is the TYPICAL stumbling block almost ALL nice guys hash and rehash in their heads. Well, I'm better than that guy, I'm better looking, I do this for her, blah blah, etc.

In the end, she's just not attracted to you. And that's not a knock against you. Again you can't force something that just isn't there.

I can't reinforce this statement enough; this should be posted on a sticky before entering this thread . . . we should make some ground rules to read before posting in here . . . like SERIOUSLY!

the thing is, men are hardwired to be attracted first and foremost by looks, so they assume that when a female doesn't go for them, it has to do with some superficial thing that "the other guy has and I don't"; but this couldn't be further from the truth

women are attracted to the whole package; the swag, confidence, the aura of that dude . . . and that's what a lot of people in here asking for advice lack, it's that confidence

you guys need to start chatting up like at least 5 women at one time; get used to juggling conversations and not taking every single interaction with women so seriously and "romanticly" ****, chicks are just people like everyone else; just talk to them, feed them and make them laugh and not sweat them, and they'll come back for more! It's pretty easy

 

[Anita18]

I feel like a teenager now and regretting why I didn't dabble in drugs, alcohol and superficial *******ry from the beginning. Trying to be responsible and keeping one's **** together sucks. The other guy is ME. Only a more awesome, less successful version of me. It has to be confidence.

(I know i've been boring you lot for ages on this, but like i said it's hard to move on. i lost my **** again when today she told me she's dropping out of college. i mean, i hate my college in bangladesh as it is, and now this happens).

Wait what? Why did you lose your ****. At the very least, it should have made you go, "Well, I'm glad I didn't pursue her!"

That's what I tell myself when it turns out a hot guy has a drastically different lifestyle than I have.

I mean, would you really have dropped out of college and done drugs and become an alcoholic....for that girl? Don't even ask me what level of pathetic THAT is.

One of the lessons you should learn here, is no matter how good you look, smart you are, funny you are, how much you have, what you drive, in the end you can't MAKE someone like you.

It's called attraction for a reason.

This is the TYPICAL stumbling block almost ALL nice guys hash and rehash in their heads. Well, I'm better than that guy, I'm better looking, I do this for her, blah blah, etc.

In the end, she's just not attracted to you. And that's not a knock against you. Again you can't force something that just isn't there.

If you read women's magazines, a lot of adult women think really do think the same thing. "Why is he with HER? I'm PRETTIER!"

So it's definitely not a teenage guy thing.

 

[Erzengel]

Because she puts out quicker.

But there's a reason why it's the "nice guy" syndrome and not the "nice person" syndrome. More often times than not, guys fall into this trap.

 

[CConn]

If you read women's magazines, a lot of adult women think really do think the same thing. "Why is he with HER? I'm PRETTIER!"

So it's definitely not a teenage guy thing.

A lot of times it's true though.

I swear, the prettier the girl is, the *****ier the guy looks.

 

[Nave 'Torment']

Wait what? Why did you lose your ****. At the very least, it should have made you go, "Well, I'm glad I didn't pursue her!"

That's what I tell myself when it turns out a hot guy has a drastically different lifestyle than I have.

I mean, would you really have dropped out of college and done drugs and become an alcoholic....for that girl? Don't even ask me what level of pathetic THAT is.

Nah you're right... i wouldn't be doing that for her, or anyone else for that matter. I hate my college, but I love the degree it's promising at the end of the fourth year.

If you read women's magazines, a lot of adult women really do think the same thing. "Why is he with HER? I'm PRETTIER!"

So it's definitely not a teenage guy thing.

Because she puts out quicker.

But there's a reason why it's the "nice guy" syndrome and not the "nice person" syndrome. More often times than not, guys fall into this trap.

wait which one are we talking about? falling for the crazy, uninterested one who gives attention , or the "why's she with him" burn?

 

[Anita18]

wait which one are we talking about? falling for the crazy, uninterested one who gives attention , or the "why's she with him" burn?

I'm confused too. Which trap are we talking about?

 

[Erzengel]

I thought I was pretty clear in the previous post.

The "trap" of what most guys do when they think putting effort, and time into pursuing a relationship with a girl only for the girl to not be receptive to it and the guy assuming just because he does X, Y and Z or he's A, B and C, that a girl should automatically be smitten by them.

 

[Anita18]

I thought I was pretty clear in the previous post.

The "trap" of what most guys do when they think putting effort, and time into pursuing a relationship with a girl only for the girl to not be receptive to it and the guy assuming just because he does X, Y and Z or he's A, B and C, that a girl should automatically be smitten by them.

Ah.

Women have the equivalent, except they believe that if they were more attractive, the guy will like them more.

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

Edit: lol wrong thread.

 

[Erzengel]

Ah.

Women have the equivalent, except they believe that if they were more attractive, the guy will like them more.

Well there's only so much a woman can do in general outside of exercise and slight alterations to hair and makeup.

 

[Daniel Thompson]

I can't reinforce this statement enough; this should be posted on a sticky before entering this thread . . . we should make some ground rules to read before posting in here . . . like SERIOUSLY!

the thing is, men are hardwired to be attracted first and foremost by looks, so they assume that when a female doesn't go for them, it has to do with some superficial thing that "the other guy has and I don't"; but this couldn't be further from the truth

women are attracted to the whole package; the swag, confidence, the aura of that dude . . . and that's what a lot of people in here asking for advice lack, it's that confidence

you guys need to start chatting up like at least 5 women at one time; get used to juggling conversations and not taking every single interaction with women so seriously and "romanticly" ****, chicks are just people like everyone else; just talk to them, feed them and make them laugh and not sweat them, and they'll come back for more! It's pretty easy

But lets be honest women are mainly attracted by the looks of a guy. They are no different from men.

 

[Erzengel]

Not always.

Personality, goes a long way.

 

[Daniel Thompson]

Not always.

Personality, goes a long way.

Oh yeah I agree with that but looks help aswell.

 

[CConn]

I think looks open up the possibility of getting the hots for someone.

Then personality makes or breaks it.

 

[Anita18]

Well there's only so much a woman can do in general outside of exercise and slight alterations to hair and makeup.

Slight?

We were bored in illustration class last week and my neighbor was looking up examples at what crazy stuff makeup can do:

No makeup vs. makeup

I think there's a lot a woman can do with hair, makeup, pushup bras, Spanx, etc. There's not much a GUY can do, sure. Unless he wants to be made fun of for wearing makeup or Spanx...

 

[WillardNation]

But lets be honest women are mainly attracted by the looks of a guy. They are no different from men.

********. You are WAY more likely to see a hot girl with an unattractive guy than a really attractive guy with an ugly girl. I see dozens of hot girl, ugly guy couples every day and can think of exactly one couple I know where I think, "What the hell is that guy doing with her?".

 

[Paroxysm]

But lets be honest women are mainly attracted by the looks of a guy. They are no different from men.

Women find other things attractive about a guy so they usually date them for those reasons.

 

[Hound55]

Asante would be intriguing. The Patriots have already gotten Stallworth, are attempting to retain Welker, seemingly trying to convince Matt Light to stay on another year, bringing in Brandon Llyod. Point being, they're all McDaniel's guys from the 07 Patriots and his other coaching positions. In addition they acquired Daniel Fells a McDaniel's guy. I wouldn't even be surprised if they considered Moss, heck he was photographed hanging with Vince Wilfork on twitter! I bet McDaniel's pushed for Brandon instead. So Asante Samuel while not a McDaniel's side of the ball guy, does fit that mold of hybridizing the 07 Patriots with a new three tight end offense. Could be interesting next year.

McDaniel: "You're not what I'm looking for right now, but I hope we can still be friends..."

Samuel: It's because I'm too fat, isn't it...


Terrell Owens: "Why is Randy Moss with Vince Wilfork... I'm prettier!"

 

[Erzengel]

Slight?

We were bored in illustration class last week and my neighbor was looking up examples at what crazy stuff makeup can do:

No makeup vs. makeup

I think there's a lot a woman can do with hair, makeup, pushup bras, Spanx, etc. There's not much a GUY can do, sure. Unless he wants to be made fun of for wearing makeup or Spanx...

I mean are we talking about the scene in "I'm going to get you sucka?"

I mean if a someone has to put that much makeup to look like she's a tranny. Never found people who look that "striking" to be attractive.

 

[Hound55]

I mean are we talking about the scene in "I'm going to get you sucka?"

I mean if a someone has to put that much makeup to look like she's a tranny. Never found people who look that "striking" to be attractive.

If you say it three times Anubis appears and guts you with his hook-hand...

 

[Anubis]

.......The hooks not on my hand.....

 

[DV8]

But lets be honest women are mainly attracted by the looks of a guy. They are no different from men.

I am going to wholeheartedly disagree with you there; women are mostly attracted to the essence of a man; the "swag", not the "looks"; you can be the best looking guy in the world but your personality will instantly dry a woman up if she's not feeling you

you should be well groomed and own your look; have good hygiene and that's all you really need to rope in good looking females; the rest is just extra credit

 

[DV8]

Slight?

We were bored in illustration class last week and my neighbor was looking up examples at what crazy stuff makeup can do:

No makeup vs. makeup

I think there's a lot a woman can do with hair, makeup, pushup bras, Spanx, etc. There's not much a GUY can do, sure. Unless he wants to be made fun of for wearing makeup or Spanx...

that is one fiiiiine, sexy Red X you got there Anita