Revenge of the *Official* Relationship Advice Thread

[Anita18]

Well when she says she bisexual, who else are you supposed to react?

Seriously, she would complain about any positions outside of missionary. She thought any position where I couldn't see her face meant I was thinking about someone else, or that I was "in the closet". Fun times.

Um, there are positions where you can see each other's faces, which are a lot more fun (IMHO ) than plain ol' missionary.

But if someone's uptight and believes a woman should just lie there, I don't want to have anything to do with him.

 

[LOBO3315a]

Oh I know that. It was just her way of digging at me. I have a thing for women's lower backs and butts. In her mind if I wasn't staring soulfully into her eyes throughout the session, I was thinking about someone else. Or because of my preferences I was a homo in the making. Really made me want to initiate the act, right there.

Probably one of the reasons I refuse to deal with someone with self-esteem issues. I've had enough of that in my lifetime. She gets to be someone else's problem now, and I get to watch porn whenever I want to. It's a win/win!

 

[Anita18]

Oh I know that. It was just her way of digging at me. I have a thing for women's lower backs and butts. In her mind if I wasn't staring soulfully into her eyes throughout the session, I was thinking about someone else. Or because of my preferences I was a homo in the making. Really made me want to initiate the act, right there.

Hey we of the itty bitty titty committee (otherwise known as the IBTC) need more guys like you!

But sometimes I joke that all my bf needs is a blow-up model of my butt, tucked in the closet during the day.

Probably one of the reasons I refuse to deal with someone with self-esteem issues. I've had enough of that in my lifetime. She gets to be someone else's problem now, and I get to watch porn whenever I want to. It's a win/win!

Yeah I'm glad I started being sexually active when I was older and wasn't afraid to speak my mind. There's a lot of trust that goes into it (especially when it's a woman's first time) and I can't imagine how I would have handled it when I was younger and afraid to speak up.

That's my main issue with kids having sex early - I'd obviously teach my kid not to be stupid and to use protection, but that's the easy part. The hard part is teaching self-esteem and how to ask for what you want and how to say no (or ask for something else) if you're not comfortable. Even smart kids don't always develop it until much later on.

 

[steintym]

LOBO - Sounds like you're probably better off.

 

[The Guard]

I'm currently getting divorced, was married for just over three years. We split up about six or seven months ago. My soon to be ex wife and I are on decent terms now. She's moving to Texas in December to live with a guy she has been seeing, and I've decided that I'm ready to start dating. So for the last two months I've been seeing a couple of different women.

This seems to have created problems.

Invariably, I get the whole "I'm okay if you're dating around" right off the bat, and then they want something serious and exclusive relatively soon after that. And at this point, while I'm all about getting to know people, intimately, emotionally and otherwise, I feel like it's incredibly irresponsible to even consider getting back into a serious relationship when my divorce isn't final, and there are still issues to resolve. I realize that not every woman I meet is going to think what I'm doing is a great idea, but to me, it's kind of the point of dating. Finding out what you like, need, want, etc. I'm not sure how one does that without actually seeing different women.

Anyone have any wisdom about that, or about getting back into the dating game?

 

[LOBO3315a]

LOBO - Sounds like you're probably better off.

Thanks, I'd like to think I'm better off. However she's remarried, and having a "great life", while I've just broken up with crazy girlfriend #4 about 2 months ago, and am currently pining for a married woman.

There's probably something to be said for not being in a committed relationship for me right now. Since I'm a caretaker for my mom, I'm not sure I'd find the right woman who could accept that. A lot of people online seem to think it's pretty noble, but women in the real world seem to have issue with it.

So maybe being single is just better for me at the moment.

 

[amazingfantasy15]

I'm currently getting divorced, was married for just over three years. We split up about six or seven months ago. My soon to be ex wife and I are on decent terms now. She's moving to Texas in December to live with a guy she has been seeing, and I've decided that I'm ready to start dating. So for the last two months I've been seeing a couple of different women.

This seems to have created problems.

Invariably, I get the whole "I'm okay if you're dating around" right off the bat, and then they want something serious and exclusive relatively soon after that. And at this point, while I'm all about getting to know people, intimately, emotionally and otherwise, I feel like it's incredibly irresponsible to even consider getting back into a serious relationship when my divorce isn't final, and there are still issues to resolve. I realize that not every woman I meet is going to think what I'm doing is a great idea, but to me, it's kind of the point of dating. Finding out what you like, need, want, etc. I'm not sure how one does that without actually seeing different women.

Anyone have any wisdom about that, or about getting back into the dating game?

Well, I think on the first or second date it's fine to be dating other people, but by dates three and beyond, real feelings are starting to develop. At that point you should be choosing where things are heading, you want to start a relationship or stop seeing the person, those are really you're options, it's only fair to the girl so you're not leading her on. Also, if you don't feel it's responsible to be in a relationship until your divorce is finalized then I really don't feel you should be dating. The point of dating is to start a relationship, but you make it sound like you're taking a survey to find out what you want in a woman. So, later, when you're actually ready, using that knowledge to actually find someone to start a relationship with. Really sounds like you're using these women.

 

[bullets]

Seriously, she would complain about any positions outside of missionary. She thought any position where I couldn't see her face meant I was thinking about someone else, or that I was "in the closet". Fun times.

Aw man , you should of done it in front of a mirror and when she thinks your not looking you give her a wink and a thumbs up.

I dated a woman who had something against french kissing. She'd do anything else but wouldn't go along with that. It let to some awkward moments

Really? Did you cross boy-band fans off your list in the late '90s? Twilight is just the "catnip" for girls these days, it's a fad, like New Kids on The Block, the boy band craze, Spice Girls, Madonna, it's just this time instead of music, it's book and movies. It's something they know isn't really good, but is marketed to them so well they can't help but like it for awhile. Soon the fad will fade away and girls will laugh at how stupid it was, like when they thought neon clothing was a great fashion decision.

If they just view it as entertainment I don't mind. I've watched them and had a laugh or two , it's kind of amusing. The last two girls I dated made the twilight fad very off-putting to me.

 

[S.A.A.D.]

I'm currently getting divorced, was married for just over three years. We split up about six or seven months ago. My soon to be ex wife and I are on decent terms now. She's moving to Texas in December to live with a guy she has been seeing, and I've decided that I'm ready to start dating. So for the last two months I've been seeing a couple of different women.

This seems to have created problems.

Invariably, I get the whole "I'm okay if you're dating around" right off the bat, and then they want something serious and exclusive relatively soon after that. And at this point, while I'm all about getting to know people, intimately, emotionally and otherwise, I feel like it's incredibly irresponsible to even consider getting back into a serious relationship when my divorce isn't final, and there are still issues to resolve. I realize that not every woman I meet is going to think what I'm doing is a great idea, but to me, it's kind of the point of dating. Finding out what you like, need, want, etc. I'm not sure how one does that without actually seeing different women.

Anyone have any wisdom about that, or about getting back into the dating game?

Get back into the dating game. It's over between you and her.

 

[Kane52630]

 

[steintym]

Thanks, I'd like to think I'm better off. However she's remarried, and having a "great life", while I've just broken up with crazy girlfriend #4 about 2 months ago, and am currently pining for a married woman.

There's probably something to be said for not being in a committed relationship for me right now. Since I'm a caretaker for my mom, I'm not sure I'd find the right woman who could accept that. A lot of people online seem to think it's pretty noble, but women in the real world seem to have issue with it.

So maybe being single is just better for me at the moment.

Being the caretaker for your mom is an awesome thing to do ... and I'm sure very challenging at times.

You'll feel better about yourself knowing you're doing the right thing, even if it means putting your personal life on hold for the time being.

 

[Hound55]

I'm currently getting divorced, was married for just over three years. We split up about six or seven months ago. My soon to be ex wife and I are on decent terms now. She's moving to Texas in December to live with a guy she has been seeing, and I've decided that I'm ready to start dating. So for the last two months I've been seeing a couple of different women.

This seems to have created problems.

Invariably, I get the whole "I'm okay if you're dating around" right off the bat, and then they want something serious and exclusive relatively soon after that. And at this point, while I'm all about getting to know people, intimately, emotionally and otherwise, I feel like it's incredibly irresponsible to even consider getting back into a serious relationship when my divorce isn't final, and there are still issues to resolve. I realize that not every woman I meet is going to think what I'm doing is a great idea, but to me, it's kind of the point of dating. Finding out what you like, need, want, etc. I'm not sure how one does that without actually seeing different women.

Anyone have any wisdom about that, or about getting back into the dating game?

As long as you're open with them and let the girls know that you're still finalizing your divorce and where you're at (without talking extensively about it all day/night - people don't really like that and view it as being hung up... but I'll trust your judgement, you seem sensible enough) then I don't really have a problem with it.

Just be prepared to meet some real whackjobs, at times it may seem like they're all that's out there.

 

[WillardNation]

I may regret this question but it's really late and I'm curious...what does it mean when a girl is "good in bed?" I thought it was all about communication and stuff like that.

If you're in a relationship or actually care about the girl, sure. It changes from person to person what determines whether or not a girl is "good in bed".

I believe my girlfriend is the best sexual partner I've been with. But that's not to say that she's the most adventurous or anything... We're just compatible.

But as far as what I meant by "good in bed", I just meant the girl would be down to try just about anything you ask of her.

Good in bed means kinky. It means you're into the sex as opposed to just going through the motions, that you try different positions and that you take a measure of control in bed and let the man know what turns you on by giving sensory signals. Screaming, hair pulling, biting, heavy breathing, talking dirty can all be seen as bonuses depending on your personal preference.

Well, you asked...

Yeah, I've been pretty open to trying things, but once we've tried them and know what works (and what MOST DEFINITELY DOES NOT ) I guess that's when it gets boring? Not necessarily the person's fault, but then again there is the whole "being really uptight to begin with" part. So maybe there's some kind of scale of adventurousness.

Personally, I just consider "good in bed" to be how she moves, works it, stuff she says, etc. If she just lays there and isn't very vocal, I would not consider her to be good in bed. If she's up for trying new things, but she doesn't know how to do said new things, I still wouldn't really consider her to be good in bed.

 

[WillardNation]

Oh I know that. It was just her way of digging at me. I have a thing for women's lower backs and butts. In her mind if I wasn't staring soulfully into her eyes throughout the session, I was thinking about someone else. Or because of my preferences I was a homo in the making. Really made me want to initiate the act, right there.

Probably one of the reasons I refuse to deal with someone with self-esteem issues. I've had enough of that in my lifetime. She gets to be someone else's problem now, and I get to watch porn whenever I want to. It's a win/win!

The girl I was just seeing recently refused to do it doggie style. Which is my favorite position. She said, "I don't like getting ****ed like a dog." Well, that's unfortunate.

I have a thing for women's lower backs and butts.

I really like to grab onto her hips.

 

[LOBO3315a]

Stop, I'm getting hot and bothered!

 

[SpideyVille]

I thought this was a PG-13 thread.

 

[Anita18]

Personally, I just consider "good in bed" to be how she moves, works it, stuff she says, etc. If she just lays there and isn't very vocal, I would not consider her to be good in bed. If she's up for trying new things, but she doesn't know how to do said new things, I still wouldn't really consider her to be good in bed.

Well, nobody's good their first few times at anything. And making it into a situation where you're gonna be "evaluating" each other's performance takes out a good amount of the fun too, IMO. I mean, sex DOES involve bodily fluids, after all. Things can get really hilarious in a fast second. The choice is either to laugh or feel really awkward.

I've kicked my bf in the head once. And that was only once - things are always a little complicated because we're literally all limbs and bony joints. They don't show you how to deal with that gracefully in the pornos.

 

[WillardNation]

Oh yeah. Lord knows there's been times when I've broken the mood with, "Ow cramp! cramp! ****! ow!" and, "Holy ****, babe you gotta get on top. That workout earlier wore me out."

 

[SpideyVille]

I can tell I have much still to learn, though that kind of knowledge only comes from on the field training and experience.

 

[WillardNation]

Indeed. The first several women I slept with were left very disappointed, I'm sure.

 

[Anita18]

I can tell I have much still to learn, though that kind of knowledge only comes from on the field training and experience.

Eh, even if you've had experience, doesn't mean you'll automatically be Don Juan. It depends on the guy - my bf got really really nervous probably the first month we were scoping each other out physically, and he was not the virgin in the relationship. He probably appreciated that I didn't snark about ruining the mood or not doing things right or whatever.

He doesn't get the least bit nervous nowadays. Though now it's usually me going "Ow, foot cramp!" "Ow, elbow in the ribs!" "Ow, I guess various internal organs aren't being very cooperative today.." Or again, bodily fluids. Sex should be something fun that you do with each other, not something that you judge each other over. It's all about communication, because everyone will have something that they like and don't like. It's not one size fits all.

That's what she said?

 

[AndThePickles]

I can tell I have much still to learn, though that kind of knowledge only comes from on the field training and experience.

Don't worry, the practicing is fun it helps a lot to have a good sense of humor in the bedroom, too. Things that could become awkward if you allow it to be "embarrassing" can easily be turned into something that you both enjoy a good laugh about, instead.

 

[SpideyVille]

Yeah, to be honest, as much as I've always wanted to be in a relationship, the sex part has always been something that has worried me because I'm still inexperienced and I feel like the older I get, the more awkward it may feel, especially since the girl will most likely have at least some experience and might judge me and my performance when it finally happens. That's sort of why I always say sex is the last thing I think about when I go after a girl, because its really not something I'm trying to rush to get to.

 

[Charlie Boy]

Oh yeah. Lord knows there's been times when I've broken the mood with, "Ow cramp! cramp! ****! ow!" and, "Holy ****, babe you gotta get on top.

This happened to me the other night!

 

[Angel_Faerie]

So, the guy I've now been on two dates with wants to go out again but wants me to pick what we do this time. Only problem is, I have zero ideas.