The Dark Knight The Dark Knight Caption Thread II

[ultimatefan]

Great stuff all around guys, especially the Joker speeches. It feels good to be back!

 

[ultimatefan]

SUPERMAN: It was you, wasn´t it?!? You spreaded all that bad buzz about GI Joe The Rise Of Cobra, including that fake story about Sommers being fired and the terrible test screening!! Now the movie is getting good reviews, may actually be good, and will probably get a disappointing box office because of YOU!! You just can´t stand any competition, can ya?
BATMAN: If my numbers weren´t challenged by Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen, do you think I´d be scared of toy soldiers?

 

[ultimatefan]

BATMAN - For the last f***ing time, Aaron, let go! Heath won the Oscar fair and square, the statue belongs to his family!
AARON - I deserve some f***ing recognition!
BATMAN - What about all the rave reviews and fan praise you got...
AARON - Who cares, I want a shiny statue!

 

[Hound55]

Robin: Soooo...

Robin: When you gonna let me tap that ass..?

 

[ultimatefan]

BATMAN: Give me Lady Sapphire´s number!
GREEN LANTERN: Only if you give me Catwoman´s number!
BATMAN: Never!

SUPERMAN: Hey, I´m willing to trade Lois´ number!

BATMAN AND GL: Thanks, but no thanks.

 

[VenomVsSpidey]

BATMAN: Give me Lady Sapphire´s number!
GREEN LANTERN: Only if you give me Catwoman´s number!
BATMAN: Never!

SUPERMAN: Hey, I´m willing to trade Lois´ number!

BATMAN AND GL: Thanks, but no thanks.

Lol, SUPERMAN BURN!

 

[ultimatefan]

^Thanks!

 

[Panthro]

SUPERMAN: It was you, wasn´t it?!? You spreaded all that bad buzz about GI Joe The Rise Of Cobra, including that fake story about Sommers being fired and the terrible test screening!! Now the movie is getting good reviews, may actually be good, and will probably get a disappointing box office because of YOU!! You just can´t stand any competition, can ya?
BATMAN: If my numbers weren´t challenged by Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen, do you think I´d be scared of toy soldiers?

 

[Panthro]

BATMAN - For the last f***ing time, Aaron, let go! Heath won the Oscar fair and square, the statue belongs to his family!
AARON - I deserve some f***ing recognition!
BATMAN - What about all the rave reviews and fan praise you got...
AARON - Who cares, I want a shiny statue!

 

[Indrid Cold]

BATMAN - For the last f***ing time, Aaron, let go! Heath won the Oscar fair and square, the statue belongs to his family!
AARON - I deserve some f***ing recognition!
BATMAN - What about all the rave reviews and fan praise you got...
AARON - Who cares, I want a shiny statue!

Harvey: "I just said I was batman to..."
Batman: "Shut up, you're going to jail."

 

[Panthro]

BATMAN: "For the last time I did not dub Rorschach in Watchmen!"

 

[Panthro]

SITH SKELETOR: "If you only knew the power of the Dark Side!"
JEDI HE-MAN: "By the Power of Lucas... I Have The Force!!!!!!!!"

SUPERMAN: "Ripping off Star Wars now?"
BATMAN: "Well, they always were a little bit."
SUPERMAN: "Hmm. Teela's pretty hot."
BATMAN: "Yeah. That's why I'm boning her later tonight."

SUPERMAN: "Correction - I'm boning her later tonight!"
BATMAN: "Ow!"

 

[Panthro]

BATMAN: "Damn it, who put sugar in my gas tank?! Joker, when I get my hands on you...!"

BATMAN: "Everybody, do the Kung Fu Hustle!"

BATMAN: "Hmm, sure are a lot of ugly people down there... I should spit on one of them."

BATMAN: "He stands... like a Pagan God or Deposed Tyrant... staring out over the city he has... sworn to stare out over. And it's obvious, just by looking at him... he's got some pretty heavy stuff on his mind."

 

[Ibn]

Ya know kid, you might have had the best villain performance ever in a movie. Outside of Hannibal Lecter that is.

Wherezis goin?

You know what pisses me of the most about you though? Your hair wasn't really ever fully green, ya know? The Joker should have green hai-

"LOOK AT THE BLONDE!!!"

HOT DAMMIT KID!! HOW'D YA KNOW THAT'S WHAT I WAS GOIN TO SAY!

HAH! I have a very great talent, Mr. Torrance!

Well, you are a very willful boy!!!

A rather............. NAUGHTY BOY............. if I may be so bold sir!!

 

[ultimatefan]

Thanks Panthro! Great stuff, Panthro, IBN!

 

[ultimatefan]

And THIS, kids, is what happens to your teeth when you smoke three packs a day for fifteen years!

 

[ultimatefan]

POLICE OFFICER: Ya ready?
BATMAN: This is humilating.
POLICE OFFICER: I know, I know, but it´s broken and it´s an urgent call.
BATMAN (sighs): Well,whatever it takes to be helpful to law enforcement... WOWOWOWOWOWOWOW...

 

[Panthro]

POLICE OFFICER: Ya ready?
BATMAN: This is humilating.
POLICE OFFICER: I know, I know, but it´s broken and it´s an urgent call.
BATMAN (sighs): Well,whatever it takes to be helpful to law enforcement... WOWOWOWOWOWOWOW...

Your other one was funny too.

BRUCE WAYNE: "I like to dissect girls. Did you know I'm utterly insane?"

SUPERMAN: "Put the Penguin in the next movie damn it! I've been waiting decades to see a proper depiction of his character!"
BATMAN: "Ow! Take it up with Nolan, I have no control over stuff like that!"

 

[ultimatefan]

Thanks Panthro! Wonder what Nolan could do with Penguin.

 

[ChocheTheHero]

BATMAN: "I am Batman"... JAH! I wanna show you who the real Batman is!

 

[ultimatefan]

BATMAN: Huh, wasn´t there a scene where I ran on the top of a police car?
POLICE OFFICER: Shut up, man! Don´t get us in trouble!

 

[ultimatefan]

LEDGER: No one can replace me playing this sadistic, amoral, ruthless, sardonic and somewhat sexually dubious psychopath for the next movie!

STEWIE: Oh, I wouldn´t be so sure of that...

 

[ultimatefan]

BALE: kick your ****ing ass. I want you off the ****ing set you prick. No, don't just be sorry, think for one ****ing second. What the **** are you doing? Are you professional or not? Do I ****ing walk around and rip- no, shut the **** up Bruce, do I-no! No! Don't shut me up. Am I going to walk around and rip your ****ing lighs down? In the middle of a scene? Then why the **** are you walking right through? a-tada-tada like this in the background, what the **** is it with you? What don't you ****ing understand? You got any ****ing idea about- Hey! It's ****ing distracting having somebody walking up behind bryce in the middle of the ****ing scene. Gimme a ****ing answer. What don't you get about it? ... **** sake man you're amateur... you've got something to say to this prick? Well somebody's should be watching him and keeping an eye on him. It's the second time that he doesn't give a **** about what is going on in front of the camera. Alright? I'm trying to ****ing do a scene here and I'm going why the **** is Shane walking in there? What is he doing there? Do you understand? My mind is not in the scene if you're doing that. Stay off the ****ing set man, for ****'s set. Right let's go again. Let's not take a ****ing minute, let's go again. And let's not have you ****ing walking in... You're unbelievable man, you're un-****ing-believable. The number of times you stroll in the ****ing background. I've never had a DP behave like this. You don't ****ing understand what its like working with actors. That's what that is. I'm not asking you, I'm telling you. You wouldn't have done that otherwise. I'm gonna ****ing kick your ****ing ass if you don't shut up for a second, alright? I'm gonna go, do you want me to go and trash your lights? Do you want me to ****ing trash them? Then why are you trashing my scene? You do it one more time, and I wain't walking back to set if you're still hired... seriously man - you and me, we're ****ing done professionaly.... ****ing ass.

GORDON: His bad temper won. Bales credibility, everything he fought for - undone. Any chance you gave us at fixing our movie franchise dies with Bale's reputation. We bet it all on him. His bad temper took the best of us and tore him down. People will lose hope.

BATMAN: No. They won't. They must never know what he did.

GORDON: A crew member ins viciously insulted on set? The audio leaked on the Internet. You can´t sweep that up!

BATMAN: No. But his bad temper cannot win. The Batman movie franchise needs its true hero.

GORDON: No.

BATMAN: "You either die a hero, or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain." I can do those things because I'm not a hero, unlike Bale. I ranted at that DP. That's what I can be.

GORDON: No, no! You can't, you're not--

BATMAN: I am whatever my movie franchise needs me to be. [hands Gordon his radio] Call it in.

 

[ultimatefan]

GORDON: They´ll hunt you.

BATMAN: You'll hunt me. You'll condemn me, set the media celebrity gossip dogs on me. Because that's what needs to happen. Because sometimes...the truth isn't good enough. Sometimes people deserve more. Sometimes people deserve to have their faith rewarded (runs).

JIMMY: Batman? Batman! Why is he running, Dad?

GORDON: Because we have to chase him.

JIMMY: He didn´t do anything wrong.

GORDON (VOICEOVER): Because he's the hero that the Batman movie franchise deserves, but not the one it needs right now. So, we'll hunt him, because he can take it. Because he's not our hero. He's a silent guardian who won´t rant at people for nothing. A watchful protector of his franchise´s reputation. A Dark Knight.

 

[VenomVsSpidey]

GORDON: They´ll hunt you.

BATMAN: You'll hunt me. You'll condemn me, set the media celebrity gossip dogs on me. Because that's what needs to happen. Because sometimes...the truth isn't good enough. Sometimes people deserve more. Sometimes people deserve to have their faith rewarded (runs).

JIMMY: Batman? Batman! Why is he running, Dad?

GORDON: Because we have to chase him.

JIMMY: He didn´t do anything wrong.

GORDON (VOICEOVER): Because he's the hero that the Batman movie franchise deserves, but not the one it needs right now. So, we'll hunt him, because he can take it. Because he's not our hero. He's a silent guardian who won´t rant at people for nothing. A watchful protector of his franchise´s reputation. A Dark Knight.

*CUES HANS ZIMMER & JAMES NEWTON HOWARD MUSIC*