The Relationship Thread: Because Superhero Forums are Full of Sexperts! - - - - - - Part 25

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[enterthemadness]

Sooooooo, that date for Sunday may not happen...cause her sitter is not available for Sat and Sunday, cause the sitter is working both days now at her other job. However, she said she has to figured out what to do now. Ugh. Yes, she typed ''ugh''.



Sooooooo, who knows. Since she is keeping in touch with me, I doubt she is making excuses. I did ask if her sitter is with a Nanny Service...I was going to ask if her high school kids could, ya know, watch the baby, but then it dawned on me not to ask, cause teens watching a baby probably isn't a good combination.

 

[Sex]

Damn that sitter.

 

[enterthemadness]

Damn that sitter.

lol, she never said plans are canceled, but looks like a resch may have to happen. Hopefully I find out sometime Saturday. I'm not d....I'm not upset, maybe slightly disappointed, but like I said, she hasn't ceased contact with me. Maybe I'm not her first option dating wise, but she works and has kids, so I knew sch wise it wasn't going to be easy.

 

[Charlie Boy]

You should go to a bar. Get a few drinks, chat up a woman. In person.

 

[enterthemadness]

You should go to a bar. Get a few drinks, chat up a woman. In person.

I. Don't. Drink. I don't like bars. Already got a speeding ticket, don't need a DUI added to that. I have issues with booze. Sometimes I am okay, but most of the time--whoops-- got buzzed/drunk. Even when I say I am not gonna drink, I somehow, someway, get drunk.

 

[Charlie Boy]

Go to rehab. Meet girls with dependency issues. Win, win.

 

[enterthemadness]

Go to rehab. Meet girls with dependency issues. Win, win.

Oh my god...I do not need rehab. although women with dependency issues....no, no, no.



Do you think this woman and I will eventually go out? Cause I honestly don't mind resch for later in the week or next weekend...but after that...

 

[Charlie Boy]

If I'm basing the outcome souly on what I've read of your previous exploits, no.

 

[enterthemadness]

If I'm basing the outcome souly on what I've read of your previous exploits, no.

Oooooooooooooooooooh, my ****ing damn pride and ego. #yousunkmybattleship



I haven't been out on a date since 2012...now there are reasons for that...but that's hard to shake off. And that I think was spring/summer 2012 at that, so about 2 years fully. Eh. I probably make it to 2015. Cause if this woman doesn't plan out, I already feel mentally drained just trying the dating pool. I won't delete POF or Tinder, but probably won't check it for a few weeks.

 

[Charlie Boy]

Dates are a very odd, abstract, idea to me... I mean, I think I've gone on like... 6? Maybe 8 dates in my entire life.

It just seems like the most asinine way to potentially begin a relationship. No one is really honest. You're on your absolute best behavior. The only way you're completely honest with whoever you're on a date with is if you have no intention of ever seeing them again, or you're too drunk to care. Or the third option, you think you're telling them the truth, but you're actually lying to both yourself and your date.

 

[Charlie Boy]

Honestly, dates are bull****. No woman I've ever gone on a proper date with is a woman I spent much time with after.

 

[enterthemadness]

Dates are a very odd, abstract, idea to me... I mean, I think I've gone on like... 6? Maybe 8 dates in my entire life.

It just seems like the most asinine way to potentially begin a relationship. No one is really honest. You're on your absolute best behavior. The only way you're completely honest with whoever you're on a date with is if you have no intention of ever seeing them again, or you're too drunk to care. Or the third option, you think you're telling them the truth, but you're actually lying to both yourself and your date.

I've been on 4...all between 2008 to 2012.


But I'm not giving up hope on this woman, but, ya never know.

 

[Charlie Boy]

This is true. You never know. My current girlfriend, I flirted with her, invited her out to the bar with our co-workers, invited her out to a diner with our co-workers... She politely turned me down or came up with some excuse each time.

Had I given up on her, I wouldn't be with this amazing woman who drives me absolutely nuts. She also understands me like no one else and refuses to give up on me/us, when I'm being an ass.

 

[Charlie Boy]

I've been on 4...all between 2008 to 2012.

I accidentally asked this girl out once... While we were having drinks and having a nice, if not a little boring time, she chimed in while there may been a lull in the conversation or something... Anyway, she looks over at another couple on a date and calls my attention to the guy, who's wearing a sweater vest if memory serves. She says "Oh my God, look at that f****t!"

Instantly killed any potential attraction I could have for her. The one before her, or after, I can't remember... Someone rear ended my car when we were on our way to our coffee house date. This was a woman in her 30's with 2 kids, one of whom was 17. I was 21 or 22 at the time.. I had no business perusing this woman.

I have a bad track record when it comes to "dates", which is why I hate dates. I rather just hang out with a girl. No pomp and circumstance. No preconceived notions... Just spending a little time together.

 

[spiderman2]

My problem is that I am shy had have some trouble with self esteem and I don't know how to talk to woman and I have social anxiety expecialy around woman. Also if I like some one and it is some one I am around and they don't fell the same way I have learned that I am going to have to try to advoid them has not matter what I say or don't say I am going to just creep them out and make things worse. The more I try to advoid some one though the more crazy I fell and the more depersed and sad and more worthless I fell. The reason is that if I like some one and they don't fell the same way I would still like to be friends has if I like some one and we cant just be friends it makes me fell like the person hates me and like there is something wrong with me and like woman hate me and like I am worthless and just makes me more desspert to meet some on else so I wont care.

I value friendship so that is why I would rather have some one has a friend plus I don't have any female friends witch makes being single harder and I am going to be 25 in like a week and I half and have never went out on a date before and got stupid up twice by the same girl has I have it one more changes. I fell like it a lose lose if I like some one who I see all the time. I ether do nothing and fell sad not taking the changes and letting them now how I fell or I take the change and if they reject me then fell sad and extream anxiety having to try to advoid them. How is advoid someone going to help when it just makes you more sad witch then just means I am going to be even more emtion witch means it will probly just creep them out even more. So if I like someone I am around and they say no then I get to fell like I am going to have a hartattack intill ether we became friends or I am not around them or I meat some one else.

 

[Charlie Boy]

My problem is that I am shy had have some trouble with self esteem and I don't know how to talk to woman and I have social anxiety expecialy around woman. Also if I like some one and it is some one I am around and they don't fell the same way I have learned that I am going to have to try to advoid them has not matter what I say or don't say I am going to just creep them out and make things worse. The more I try to advoid some one though the more crazy I fell and the more depersed and sad and more worthless I fell. The reason is that if I like some one and they don't fell the same way I would still like to be friends has if I like some one and we cant just be friends it makes me fell like the person hates me and like there is something wrong with me and like woman hate me and like I am worthless and just makes me more desspert to meet some on else so I wont care.

If you really have that much of a problem, maybe try envisioning the woman you're talking to is a guy. Just a guy you're striking up a conversation with, trying to find a little common ground. You can't picture them naked. If you picture these ladies naked you'll end up becoming even more nervous.

 

[spiderman2]

If you really have that much of a problem, maybe try envisioning the woman you're talking to is a guy. Just a guy you're striking up a conversation with, trying to find a little common ground. You can't picture them naked. If you picture these ladies naked you'll end up becoming even more nervous.

Lol I am going to pitchure them naked now lol. While I just don't have a tune of friedns and it takes me awhile to fell conftable around people. I am not the kind of person at a party that would go around introducing my self to people but if some one comes up to me then I will have a easyer time with talking to them. My thing is I care to much and it is easyer with guys because you have more incoming with the same sex and I don't wory about inbearsing my self around guys like a do with woman and I am pectrifield about creeping woman out because kind of like I said it has happened before where I want to be friends so I wouldn't fell akward and I end up creeping them out by talking about them to much has I don't thin and have a hard time with controlling my emions and like I said if I don't then I am just going to fell worse while I try to advoid them.

 

[Dark Raven]

I'm trying to figure out, if a girl wants to meet your friends and hang out with them as well, whether that should be a good or bad sign.

Is it good because she wants to enter your world and see what you are like with others and whether she would like your friends (ie wanting to invest more in you)? Or is it a bad thing, because she's secretly trying to move away from doing one-on-one activities and hoping just to do things as part of a group (ie making a subtle hint that she just wants to be friends)?

If I knew what to make of it, it would help me from not taking it in the wrong way, whichever way that is.

 

[Dark Raven]

Lol I am going to pitchure them naked now lol. While I just don't have a tune of friedns and it takes me awhile to fell conftable around people. I am not the kind of person at a party that would go around introducing my self to people but if some one comes up to me then I will have a easyer time with talking to them. My thing is I care to much and it is easyer with guys because you have more incoming with the same sex and I don't wory about inbearsing my self around guys like a do with woman and I am pectrifield about creeping woman out because kind of like I said it has happened before where I want to be friends so I wouldn't fell akward and I end up creeping them out by talking about them to much has I don't thin and have a hard time with controlling my emions and like I said if I don't then I am just going to fell worse while I try to advoid them.

You should picture all of your female friends naked... just because.

But only if they are hot.

 

[guitarsingerguy]

If you really have that much of a problem, maybe try envisioning the woman you're talking to is a guy. Just a guy you're striking up a conversation with, trying to find a little common ground. You can't picture them naked. If you picture these ladies naked you'll end up becoming even more nervous.

Yep, a guy...with a great set of boobs.

 

[hopefuldreamer]

So third date went much better than my freak out was suggesting it was going to go.

Bit of an awkward start with crazy golf. Kind of hard to keep conversation flowing when your not looking at each other half the time.

Had a few drinks after in one of my locals and loosened up a bit, got talking about a few more intimate things - including how long it had been (turns out he has been without anything for 3 years!), and that it was nice we hadn't jumped straight into bad cause he wanted to spend time enjoying my company first.

Kissed a couple of times in the pub (bit better, but he's still not great at it), and I was feeling pretty good about him so decided to go for it and took his hand when we were walking to the next place - which he responded well too, and we kind of spent the rest of the night like that.

He met a few of my friends at the last place and held his own in conversation so I didn't have to coddle him. Friends didn't turn their nose up at him like he was a weirdo, so I see that as a win

After all of it, when he walked me home, it just felt natural to invite him up (despite by room not being the cleanest).

I'm so glad I did tho. It was really great. Top 5 sex i've ever had. Definitely some chemistry there... and it just felt so different in such a different context (as in with a guy who actually likes me and wants to be with me)

So yeah, see how this goes. I'm sure i'm gonna have a few more freak outs soon, but i'm feeling pretty good about things for now

 

[Charlie Boy]

I'm trying to figure out, if a girl wants to meet your friends and hang out with them as well, whether that should be a good or bad sign.

Is it good because she wants to enter your world and see what you are like with others and whether she would like your friends (ie wanting to invest more in you)? Or is it a bad thing, because she's secretly trying to move away from doing one-on-one activities and hoping just to do things as part of a group (ie making a subtle hint that she just wants to be friends)?

If I knew what to make of it, it would help me from not taking it in the wrong way, whichever way that is.

It's a crap shoot. I'd say have a little faith in your game and believe she wants to meet your friends because she likes you so much and wants to be more involved in your world.

 

[Erzengel]

You don't have to profess your feelings but like I said previously have a more intimate date. If she says hey I just want to be friends, at least you'd know.