The Relationship Thread: Because Superhero Forums are Full of Sexperts! - Part 30

[Hellion]

For example, she thinks Superman is lame-ish and for some reason really dislikes the Nolan Bat-trilogy.

That would be a total plus for me.

 

[Erzengel]

My wife has seen all the Avengers movies and she's totally Team Iron Man and I'm Team Cap.

 

[Hellion]

^^^^^...

...Again, this is what I want...the things that really matter!

 

[Erzengel]

Earlier this year my wife went to Disneyland with a few friends and they sat through the Star Wars: Path of the Jedi that tells the entire story of the franchise in 10 minutes. One of her friends, was like good I don't have to watch the movies now. I would have turned the car around and taken that girl home if I was on a date.

 

[Anita18]

I haven't dealt with the Play Store process for uploading apps, but yes I heard that they were notorious for more lenient practices which has resulted in some questionable apps getting in. Apple and apparently Microsoft purging the contents of their dead apps in their stores is a smart move, but also shows they actually care about quality over quantity. I actually think your husband shouldn't worry about the game. If he only needed it to show off his "excellent computer skills" in place of a computer science degree, but has done some more impressive projects since then; then I don't see the need to update it. Is he an App Store developer exclusively or did he play with other platforms? Or was it just a one time thing?

I just read that Google Play is starting to review the apps that come in, but they're definitely still not as stringent as Apple at it. (Also unclear if they're reviewing apps already in their store, LOL.)

Yeah, that's what I told him. He's worked on bigger and better things since then, so it doesn't matter much that his first game stay on the App Store. He primarily works in iOS, but he's ported his games to Android as well. Now he's working at a game company that won Apple's App of the Year, so I think he should be ok.

Earlier this year my wife went to Disneyland with a few friends and they sat through the Star Wars: Path of the Jedi that tells the entire story of the franchise in 10 minutes. One of her friends, was like good I don't have to watch the movies now. I would have turned the car around and taken that girl home if I was on a date.

My husband hates crowds and he's very picky about movies. I think the only one he genuinely enjoyed watching with me was Mad Max: Fury Road.

 

[Lily Adler]

I just read that Google Play is starting to review the apps that come in, but they're definitely still not as stringent as Apple at it. (Also unclear if they're reviewing apps already in their store, LOL.)

Yeah, that's what I told him. He's worked on bigger and better things since then, so it doesn't matter much that his first game stay on the App Store. He primarily works in iOS, but he's ported his games to Android as well. Now he's working at a game company that won Apple's App of the Year, so I think he should be ok.

I'm actually getting into programming and game development with Visual Studio and Unity. Trying to start my own indie studio and get a degree in computer science.

 

[Anita18]

I'm actually getting into programming and game development with Visual Studio and Unity. Trying to start my own indie studio and get a degree in computer science.

The founder of that game company actually isn't a developer. He's a designer, but knows enough about code and how to run a company, that he did it well. As I've mentioned before, my husband doesn't have a computer science degree either, but he does have an engineering degree and he's using that math/physics background to work on the animations.

Oh, Visual Studio is the bane of my existence. I didn't know it when I started this job (I work on websites), but I learned it quickly. That's the real trick - it doesn't matter which tool you use or which languages you learn. You have to prove you can solve problems quickly. My husband had to learn a new scripting language on the job too.

 

[Lily Adler]

Well I have been debating for sometime on whether I should go Linux for my development or continue on in the Windows ecosystem. I like Windows and my college professor prefers I use VS for my coding (I know Linux has a less feature rich VS), but I've also dipped my toes with various distros in the past. Right now my favorite is Manjaro with Ubuntu as a close second. Do you recommend one over the other (Linux v Windows), dual-boot if I like both, or just use Windows as my primary work OS?

PM me since I'm kind of derailing this thread...

Um I haven't found a LTR-boyfriend, just occasional crushes. I had one on a soda vendor who came in to my workplace. He was a nice guy, just got out of a serious relationship. We talk to one of another, usually smack talk. I think he sees me more as a friendly acquaintance he knows from work than a potential girlfriend. I also struck out with the one guy from Walmart. I haven't seen him for over a month, and assumed he left for another job. Lo and behold I see him coming into work just as I'm leaving the parking lot last week, so maybe one of these days our paths will actually cross and I can ask him out.

 

[spiderman2]

Really cute girl at the church group tonight. I am sure she has a BF they always do and even if she is the like 1% of women around my age that is single I still have no idea what to do. I have never went out on a date and I am shy and all my friends are boys. Dosnt help that the last girl I liked I creeped out has that is always running threw my head don't creep out don't creep out. Ever one pray for me!

 

[Dark Raven]

Really cute girl at the church group tonight. I am sure she has a BF they always do and even if she is the like 1% of women around my age that is single I still have no idea what to do. I have never went out on a date and I am shy and all my friends are boys. Dosnt help that the last girl I liked I creeped out has that is always running threw my head don't creep out don't creep out. Ever one pray for me!

I think if you keep thinking you're going to creep someone out, then you will start acting like it.

Sure, one girl might've been creeped out, but that could also be her and not you. Some girls get creeped out by any behaviour - eg if you give them a hug or you put your arm around them for a photo, or you pay them a compliment, or you even seem to be in the same place with them seemingly too often. Others are more tactile or easygoing and wouldn't think anything of some of these things. I think you need to interact with a greater selection of girls to see how different ones will respond to you. If everyone gets creeped out, that's a different matter, but if it's just one or even two, it could be just their personalities or background.

 

[Anita18]

Really cute girl at the church group tonight. I am sure she has a BF they always do and even if she is the like 1% of women around my age that is single I still have no idea what to do. I have never went out on a date and I am shy and all my friends are boys. Dosnt help that the last girl I liked I creeped out has that is always running threw my head don't creep out don't creep out. Ever one pray for me!

Um, say hi? Find out what she's interested in?

Like Dark Raven said, some women have really low bar for "creep" but others don't. It's not bad behavior to be awkward and quiet. Just gotta find someone who likes that. I do.

 

[Donner]

The quirkier the better, as far as I'm concerned. Normal people are boring.

 

[Erzengel]

Really cute girl at the church group tonight. I am sure she has a BF they always do and even if she is the like 1% of women around my age that is single I still have no idea what to do. I have never went out on a date and I am shy and all my friends are boys. Dosnt help that the last girl I liked I creeped out has that is always running threw my head don't creep out don't creep out. Ever one pray for me!

You'd have to provide some insight.

What did you say to her?

How did you act around her.

If you barely said anything to her and then asked her out, she might have been one of the types of people who was put off by it.

 

[Anita18]

Right. I once had a guy ask me out without 10 seconds of meeting me. It was very flattering, but I just don't do that. At least have a 5-minute conversation, you know?

My husband is very awkward and quiet around people he doesn't know, but he never gave off "creepy" vibes to me. On our first dates, it was clear that he's just a quiet person. He wasn't just planning the best method to get me to sleep with him or anything, which is how "creepy" guys come off.

A lot of times, guys who aren't good with people (not just women) come off like they just want to talk to you to get something for themselves. They're selfish, instead of interested in you as a person.

 

[Dark Raven]

I think you can't overthink things too much in the moment, otherwise it becomes like standing on the end of a diving board thinking "don't bellyflop, don't bellyflop, make sure to take off properly etc." And then you can't even do the simplest of things because of overanalysis, and you end up tripping off the end and going splat in the water.

And the other thing to remember is the Dobler-Dahmer theory from HIMYM:

If the girl likes you already, then whatever romantic gesture you do will be more likely to be interpreted as sweet and win her over: like Lloyd Dobler standing outside with a boom box to declare his love in "Say Anything". But if she isn't attracted, then the exact same gesture can be interpreted by her as creepy, like Jeffrey Dahmer (the serial killer).

So if a girl already has a propensity towards you, she is less likely to be creeped out by a certain action than if she already has a slight aversion towards you. That's why simply copying romantic gestures you've seen elsewhere or someone else has used won't be a surefire way to guarantee success because it depends entirely on the person receiving such a gesture and their attraction towards you (and their own personal experiences too).

 

[spiderman2]

Um, say hi? Find out what she's interested in?

Like Dark Raven said, some women have really low bar for "creep" but others don't. It's not bad behavior to be awkward and quiet. Just gotta find someone who likes that. I do.

While I did talk to her a little bit and she does like baseball and football and sounds like she like hockey some to which is good because I am a sports nut and I know things could never work with someone who dosnt like sports at least a little bit.

You'd have to provide some insight.

What did you say to her?

How did you act around her.

If you barely said anything to her and then asked her out, she might have been one of the types of people who was put off by it.

Its a long story but it was a girl I worked with and she didn't fell the same way but I am not good at hiding how I fell and I would still like to be friends with someone even if they don't like me romaticly. I am not good at acting normal around some one I like and even more so if I like them and they know and don't fell the same way.

I think you can't overthink things too much in the moment, otherwise it becomes like standing on the end of a diving board thinking "don't bellyflop, don't bellyflop, make sure to take off properly etc." And then you can't even do the simplest of things because of overanalysis, and you end up tripping off the end and going splat in the water.

And the other thing to remember is the Dobler-Dahmer theory from HIMYM:

If the girl likes you already, then whatever romantic gesture you do will be more likely to be interpreted as sweet and win her over: like Lloyd Dobler standing outside with a boom box to declare his love in "Say Anything". But if she isn't attracted, then the exact same gesture can be interpreted by her as creepy, like Jeffrey Dahmer (the serial killer).

So if a girl already has a propensity towards you, she is less likely to be creeped out by a certain action than if she already has a slight aversion towards you. That's why simply copying romantic gestures you've seen elsewhere or someone else has used won't be a surefire way to guarantee success because it depends entirely on the person receiving such a gesture and their attraction towards you (and their own personal experiences too).

While being that I am a intervert and not good with people and even more so with women I always over think ever thing. I really wish I could turn my brain off. Because I am a intervert combind with what happened in the past creeping out a women when I was worried about creeping out women in the first place before it even happened to then only see it happen I always have that thought in my mind don't creep out don't creep out. It makes me fell like I cant be my self with out there being a good changes of creeping someone out and that is like the worst felling when you fell like you creeped someone out and fell like you couldnt have avoid creeping them out. I do think that theory is true. If you like some one and they don't fell the same way I think that like atimaticly makes you creepy towards them.

 

[TheDreamMaster]

I don't know how far we're allowed to go with discussion here on the hype...I think I'm having issues related to the freedom I allow in our relationship. I'm not sure I should even say anything but I feel...very unequal right now.

 

[Dark Raven]

While I did talk to her a little bit and she does like baseball and football and sounds like she like hockey some to which is good because I am a sports nut and I know things could never work with someone who dosnt like sports at least a little bit.



Its a long story but it was a girl I worked with and she didn't fell the same way but I am not good at hiding how I fell and I would still like to be friends with someone even if they don't like me romaticly. I am not good at acting normal around some one I like and even more so if I like them and they know and don't fell the same way.



While being that I am a intervert and not good with people and even more so with women I always over think ever thing. I really wish I could turn my brain off. Because I am a intervert combind with what happened in the past creeping out a women when I was worried about creeping out women in the first place before it even happened to then only see it happen I always have that thought in my mind don't creep out don't creep out. It makes me fell like I cant be my self with out there being a good changes of creeping someone out and that is like the worst felling when you fell like you creeped someone out and fell like you couldnt have avoid creeping them out. I do think that theory is true. If you like some one and they don't fell the same way I think that like atimaticly makes you creepy towards them.

You sound like you're more focused on yourself during the interaction than in them. You can be an introvert, but that doesn't mean introverts can't relate to people. Introverts just mean that you recharge your batteries by being alone at the end of the day whereas extroverts recharge their batteries by being around other people. But being introspective (ie looking inwards at yourself) means you're not focused on the girl and how you can make her feel good and bless her in some way.

If you go into an interaction constantly thinking "what will they think of me?" or "don't creep her out" then even if she is initially relating to you normally, she'll sense that your head is somewhere else and you're not even concentrating on her, and that can put her off. She may not necessarily be creeped out (that could be your perception of things). It may be that she simply thinks you're not interested in her as a person (because you're actually thinking about yourself in that moment).

When women sometimes gesture that their eyes are here by pointing to their eyes and not to their boobs, you need to apply some of that to yourself. Don't focus on your OWN chest area, metaphorically speaking, but look into her eyes instead - ie don't look inwards but outwards at her. I know that sometimes is easier said than done, but if you're focusing on yourself, you're in the wrong head space to be relating to her, and she'll sense that, and then you're not engaged in the conversation and that will put her off (which you'll then perceive as having creeped her out).

 

[spiderman2]

You sound like you're more focused on yourself during the interaction than in them. You can be an introvert, but that doesn't mean introverts can't relate to people. Introverts just mean that you recharge your batteries by being alone at the end of the day whereas extroverts recharge their batteries by being around other people. But being introspective (ie looking inwards at yourself) means you're not focused on the girl and how you can make her feel good and bless her in some way.

If you go into an interaction constantly thinking "what will they think of me?" or "don't creep her out" then even if she is initially relating to you normally, she'll sense that your head is somewhere else and you're not even concentrating on her, and that can put her off. She may not necessarily be creeped out (that could be your perception of things). It may be that she simply thinks you're not interested in her as a person (because you're actually thinking about yourself in that moment).

When women sometimes gesture that their eyes are here by pointing to their eyes and not to their boobs, you need to apply some of that to yourself. Don't focus on your OWN chest area, metaphorically speaking, but look into her eyes instead - ie don't look inwards but outwards at her. I know that sometimes is easier said than done, but if you're focusing on yourself, you're in the wrong head space to be relating to her, and she'll sense that, and then you're not engaged in the conversation and that will put her off (which you'll then perceive as having creeped her out).

While its not that I don't like being around people I am just not good with people and over think things a lot. When it comes to the gesture stuff and looking towards my self rather then her I think a lot of it is that I am not happy at all with where I am in life right now and just fell stuck in life. I have been working at the same place sinces I was 18 now 27 and I don't like my job at all. I have been trying to find a different job for like 4 years with no luck. I think because of the frustration with trying to find a new job and not having any luck has a result I think I am over thinking about ever thing even more so. I fell like the last 9 years of my life have basicly been a waste and I don't know what to do. I fell like my job is effecting me negitivly a lot and putting a lot of negative thoughts in my mind because I fell like I cant catch a break and I am scared I am never going to be able to affored to move out on my own.

 

[DA_Champion]

- deleted -

 

[Anita18]

You sound like you're more focused on yourself during the interaction than in them. You can be an introvert, but that doesn't mean introverts can't relate to people. Introverts just mean that you recharge your batteries by being alone at the end of the day whereas extroverts recharge their batteries by being around other people. But being introspective (ie looking inwards at yourself) means you're not focused on the girl and how you can make her feel good and bless her in some way.

If you go into an interaction constantly thinking "what will they think of me?" or "don't creep her out" then even if she is initially relating to you normally, she'll sense that your head is somewhere else and you're not even concentrating on her, and that can put her off. She may not necessarily be creeped out (that could be your perception of things). It may be that she simply thinks you're not interested in her as a person (because you're actually thinking about yourself in that moment).

Absolutely this. It because A LOT easier to meet new people once I learned that it was much more important to be interested in them than focusing on my own social flaws.

While its not that I don't like being around people I am just not good with people and over think things a lot. When it comes to the gesture stuff and looking towards my self rather then her I think a lot of it is that I am not happy at all with where I am in life right now and just fell stuck in life. I have been working at the same place sinces I was 18 now 27 and I don't like my job at all. I have been trying to find a different job for like 4 years with no luck. I think because of the frustration with trying to find a new job and not having any luck has a result I think I am over thinking about ever thing even more so. I fell like the last 9 years of my life have basicly been a waste and I don't know what to do. I fell like my job is effecting me negitivly a lot and putting a lot of negative thoughts in my mind because I fell like I cant catch a break and I am scared I am never going to be able to affored to move out on my own.

Then you gotta nip that problem in the bud. Looking for a new job while not having gained new skills is a hopeless cause. Employers won't be looking to give you a favor, it's gotta be a give and take. Are you planning on going back to school? Taking online classes in anything? Setting aside a few hours each day to learn something new?

You gotta put in the work for change to happen. I now work on websites, and I don't have a degree in programming. I've never even taken a single programming class. I learned how to do it during downtime at work (luckily I had a job with constant access to a computer, with constant downtime), and after work too.

 

[Anita18]

I don't know how far we're allowed to go with discussion here on the hype...I think I'm having issues related to the freedom I allow in our relationship. I'm not sure I should even say anything but I feel...very unequal right now.

Are you talking a dom/sub thing (which I don't think is appropriate for this forum), or an open relationship thing?

Either way, if you're unhappy, you gotta communicate that to your partner. You can't make them do anything, but if they care about you, they'll want to sort things out to nurture happiness in the relationship again.

Things can change too. Maybe you wanted to give something a try and it isn't working out for you. Or maybe you've changed as a person, which is totally something that happens.

 

[spiderman2]

Absolutely this. It because A LOT easier to meet new people once I learned that it was much more important to be interested in them than focusing on my own social flaws.


Then you gotta nip that problem in the bud. Looking for a new job while not having gained new skills is a hopeless cause. Employers won't be looking to give you a favor, it's gotta be a give and take. Are you planning on going back to school? Taking online classes in anything? Setting aside a few hours each day to learn something new?

You gotta put in the work for change to happen. I now work on websites, and I don't have a degree in programming. I've never even taken a single programming class. I learned how to do it during downtime at work (luckily I had a job with constant access to a computer, with constant downtime), and after work too.

While trying to find a new job fells hopeless right now. I have looked and looked and its always the same crap of come back later, we are not highering etc. I don't really now what to do. I fell like work is just boring. When people say they are bored being retried I just laugh because nothing on earth is has boring has work and school but you do it because you have to. With that said I did start school in Jan trying to get a accounting degree
but I am worried that even then I am not going to find a job and just end up with less money from not being able to work has much while I am in school. Its just really hard to stay motivated right now. Its like what is the point of putting in applications in? So I can just take time out of my days to go in and be told come back later? So it just fells pointless and a waste of time and I have gotten to the point where I don't even know where to applie at any more. So many jobs only pay around minimum wage or just slightly above and with minimum wage and working full time after tax that comes out to only making about 1400-1500 a month and most 1 bed room places around hear are 800-1000 just for rent with the cheapest I have seen is 675 and I don't know if that even includes utilites or not.

 

[Dark Raven]

While trying to find a new job fells hopeless right now. I have looked and looked and its always the same crap of come back later, we are not highering etc. I don't really now what to do. I fell like work is just boring. When people say they are bored being retried I just laugh because nothing on earth is has boring has work and school but you do it because you have to. With that said I did start school in Jan trying to get a accounting degree
but I am worried that even then I am not going to find a job and just end up with less money from not being able to work has much while I am in school. Its just really hard to stay motivated right now. Its like what is the point of putting in applications in? So I can just take time out of my days to go in and be told come back later? So it just fells pointless and a waste of time and I have gotten to the point where I don't even know where to applie at any more. So many jobs only pay around minimum wage or just slightly above and with minimum wage and working full time after tax that comes out to only making about 1400-1500 a month and most 1 bed room places around hear are 800-1000 just for rent with the cheapest I have seen is 675 and I don't know if that even includes utilites or not.

If you're trying to apply for other work, one thing I would suggest is trying to improve your written English and grammatical skills. I notice a ton of spelling and grammatical mistakes which don't seem to be just typos because you make them repeatedly in several posts you've made now. Prospective employers notice this when you send in your applications and they can easily reject it if they feel you can't write a covering letter and can't spot all the mistakes. They can feel that if you can't notice that about your own application, then you could easily overlook certain things which require precision (accounting being one of them) and they wouldn't feel confident in your skills.

 

[spiderman2]

If you're trying to apply for other work, one thing I would suggest is trying to improve your written English and grammatical skills. I notice a ton of spelling and grammatical mistakes which don't seem to be just typos because you make them repeatedly in several posts you've made now. Prospective employers notice this when you send in your applications and they can easily reject it if they feel you can't write a covering letter and can't spot all the mistakes. They can feel that if you can't notice that about your own application, then you could easily overlook certain things which require precision (accounting being one of them) and they wouldn't feel confident in your skills.

I have always had a really hard time with reading and even more so with spelling and grammar. I fell like most English grammar makes no sinces and also because almost nothing is spelled the way it sounds I have a hard time with the spelling. I think my spelling is at around a 3erd grade level and I think I am deslexic. But when it comes to applications most of them just ask for stuff like name address stuff that you are not going to really make mistakes on any way and my resume has been looked over before to see if there are spelling mistakes or any thing. So really I fell like trying to find a new job I have just been in unlucky.