The Relationship Thread: Because Superhero Forums are Full of Sexperts! - - - - - - - - - - Part 29

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This is a continuation thread, the old thread is [split]483335[/split]

 

[Grabes30]

I haven't looked at this thread in a while, but noticed the Tinder conversation. I joined Match about a year ago...have paid for it maybe 6 months. I've gotten nothing but ignored for the most part (and I'm fairly decent-looking) except for a couple of girls with kids, which I'm not too interested in. I thought I'd try the Tinder thing about a month ago. I've only had maybe 30 matches or so in that time, but I'll tell you what it does help with is just practicing talking to these girls. You already know you find each other attractive, so just make every attempt to talk to every one of them, and see what works and what doesn't. Obviously, no, pick-up lines don't work. I've talked to some pretty cool girls, and possibly have two dates lined up in the next week or so. Some are just looking for friends. Very, very few are looking for hook-ups I would say. I don't know where that reputation came from. Some don't answer back...but the greater majority do. It's at least worth a shot. Plus....it's super addictive.

 

[moviedoors]

Two years ago today, I met my fiance'. Yesterday was our daughter's first birthday.

My life, is wonderful.

That is all.

 

[BatmanVSuperman]

Two years ago today, I met my fiance'. Yesterday was our daughter's first birthday.

My life, is wonderful.

That is all.

lol 2 years.

 

[JJJ's Ulcer]

I have a predate question that has always bothered me. Yesterday I set up a date for Sunday. Is it okay to text with her today, or does it seem clingy? OTOH, if I don't I feel a bit guilty and cold. My normal instinct is to text because I like talking, but the dating scene is so damn complex.

 

[Grabes30]

I've always heard people say every other day and then for sure the day before....as a general rule.

 

[JJJ's Ulcer]

I texted because it felt strange not doing it. Nothing much, just saying " hey, what's up. " Oh well, I doubt it'll be a deal breaker even if it is too soon.

 

[JJJ's Ulcer]

Annnnnnd she texted me back. Now I have to go through the STUPID 'wait 10-15 minutes before you reply so you don't seem desperate' ritual that everyone knows is BS since your phone buzzes. But that's what all the dumb dating sites say. *sigh* This scene is so fake.

 

[JJJ's Ulcer]

And she gave me two lengthy, and quick replies, so I guess she doesn't buy into the BS either.

 

[Anita18]

Yeah just do what you want. If you jive, then you jive. No need for arbitrary rules.

 

[Godzilla2000]

Can you guys back me up on this but if there's no selfies of you and your S.O. on official websites like Twitter and Facebook you're not an official couple?

Personally if I don't see any pictures of me on a guy's Facebook or Twitter I don't consider us an item. If the guy ain't talkin' 'bout me in as public a manner as he should we are not thing and therefore he forfeits all rights and privileges period. Crap, I don;t care if he posts morbid things even, like my visit to the doctor. As long as he's not sharing the things that should be publicly shared I don't consider us anything at all. A guy has got to show me a lot more than just saying he loves me. He's got to publicly prove it to me.

 

[JJJ's Ulcer]

No, not at all. Some people don't like taking tons of selfies or couple pics. Some people like bare bones, stripped-down Facebook profiles. My brother is married and his profile pic on his Facebook has been like a pic of him in a suit for 5 years.

People invest too much thought in social media garbage these days.

 

[Godzilla2000]

No, not at all. Some people don't like taking tons of selfies or couple pics. Some people like bare bones, stripped-down Facebook profiles. My brother is married and his profile pic on his Facebook has been like a pic of him in a suit for 5 years.

People invest too much thought in social media garbage these days.

Considering how disposable people are nowadays when it comes to relationships being an image on your babe's social media page is a must though. When you can alter who sees what not saying *Insert Name* is my babe and hiding them from the public doesn't speak well.

 

[JJJ's Ulcer]

Considering how disposable people are nowadays when it comes to relationships being an image on your babe's social media page is a must though.

No. No, it's not.

When you can alter who sees what not saying *Insert Name* is my babe and hiding them from the public doesn't speak well.

I'm sorry, I didn't follow any of this.

It doesn't matter. The point is, people are different. That's exemplified by the fact the girl I made a date with isn't following the dumb waiting rules about texting you see on dating sites. Not everyone invests their whole life into some dumb, narcisstic facebook profile. Some people, yes even in 2015, really aren't into Twitter or Facebook or Instagram or whatever.

 

[Godzilla2000]

You know, I'm telling this guy right now if he doesn't make more of an effort to show that we're a couple, including Facebook posts, I'm gone. I've had it with being trivialized like this in an age when it's not embarrassing to show you love someone regardless of what the brainwashed sheep in your life want to believe. It's called effort and I want to start seeing some, not all this running and hiding BS he does all the time like people really care when they don't. They're just being bossy, intrusive a-holes. I guess I should hang out with that one guy that just doesn't care about "popular" opinion and is not afraid to share us doing normal, fun, couples things like going to Carnivals of Festivals, on their Facebook page.

 

[Anita18]

Considering how disposable people are nowadays when it comes to relationships being an image on your babe's social media page is a must though. When you can alter who sees what not saying *Insert Name* is my babe and hiding them from the public doesn't speak well.

My husband prefers me actually not talking about him AT ALL on social media. If you Google his name, you get his dad. I'm married on Facebook but there's no name linked. I try not to post anything too cutesy about our relationship because we consider that private and just between us. Plus it just seems like showing off and I don't use social media in that way - I use it for communication, and people fawning over hot/cute selfies makes me retch.

I know one other woman whose Facebook profile is like this - lots of pictures of her and her son, none of her husband. Absolutely zero, and they've been married a good 10 years. Presumably they made the agreement that he didn't want to be on social media. I don't think it's a big deal, but it's up to the person and the relationship. Some people want to be "shown off" more than others.

But I do find it curious that you continually post about not wanting to be thought of as an object, yet you want to be shown off as a prize when you are in a relationship.

 

[Six]

I caved and downloaded Tinder. Its free so why not.

 

[Anita18]

I mean, there are other ways to show you're together. My husband was the first of both of us to refer to us as "boyfriend/girlfriend." He doesn't have a Facebook profile to show me off, but he wears his wedding ring all the time.

There's no necessity to show off your relationship status to near strangers if you don't want to.

 

[Godzilla2000]

But I do find it curious that you continually post about not wanting to be thought of as an object, yet you want to be shown off as a prize when you are in a relationship.

You're getting that wrong. I want to be shown off as a person, wearing no makeup on my face and a T-shirt and sweats with shades just like normal people do, in love having fun with the man I love, not being shoved into some dark nether region where it's like I don't exist at all. Seriously, how is it a wrong, embarrassing thing to want your friends and family seeing you smiling, happy, holding hands and laughing on a carousel or taking a selfie of yourself sitting at a picnic table with food in hand and giving the man you love a lingering kiss? These are the things that Scaredy Cat doesn't entertain, instead I feel like a prisoner in a dungeon not allowed to engage in normal behavior in public because he's too scared certain hateful people are going to see them. I can understand not posting pics of a sexually intimate nature on the internet, but not posting pics of just doing normal things like holding hands? How is that unacceptable?

I mean, there are other ways to show you're together. My husband was the first of both of us to refer to us as "boyfriend/girlfriend." He doesn't have a Facebook profile to show me off, but he wears his wedding ring all the time.

There's no necessity to show off your relationship status to near strangers if you don't want to.

But see, these things are not even in practice here so I guess it's time for me to move on to someone who will make the effort and just doesn't care how people will react.

 

[JJJ's Ulcer]

I caved and downloaded Tinder. Its free so why not.

I'm still working out whether I like it or not. I've had some really 'effed up experiences of people flaking on me and cancelling plans last minute. That stuff hurts. But I've been on a few dates through it and met some normal, nice people as well. Haven't had a single booty-call through it, but I'm not that kinda guy (anymore at least). I got pissed about it the other day when things seemed to be going well and then the person 'ghosted' me for no reason, but now I'm chatting to someone new and have a date planned. We'll see.

 

[JJJ's Ulcer]

You're getting that wrong. I want to be shown off as a person, wearing no makeup on my face and a T-shirt and sweats with shades just like normal people do, in love having fun with the man I love, not being shoved into some dark nether region where it's like I don't exist at all. Seriously, how is it a wrong, embarrassing thing to want your friends and family seeing you smiling, happy, holding hands and laughing on a carousel or taking a selfie of yourself sitting at a picnic table with food in hand and giving the man you love a lingering kiss? These are the things that Scaredy Cat doesn't entertain, instead I feel like a prisoner in a dungeon not allowed to engage in normal behavior because he's too scared people are going to see. I can understand not posting pics of a sexual nature on the internet, but not posting pics of just doing normal things like holding hands? How is that unacceptable?

You are taking Facebook waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too seriously. You're going to screw up a good thing if you push this with him. But you've never listened to us before, so I don't have high hopes you'll avoid the mistake I see in your future.

 

[Godzilla2000]

You are taking Facebook waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too seriously. You're going to screw up a good thing if you push this with him. But you've never listened to us before, so I don't have high hopes you'll avoid the mistake I see in your future.

I fail to see how not living an honest life because he's afraid of other people is a good thing though. I'm not happy at all right now because of this behavior. How is this a good thing? I feel neglected, ignored and abandoned most of the time because he doesn't have the guts to stand up to anyone on my behalf and he lets them steamroll all over me. How is his passivity a good thing? I've been hurt way too many times by other people on his behalf because they hate me and he does nothing. How is this a good thing? Every day I have been connected with him has been nothing but misery because he can't publicly defend me against all those rude people. How is that a good thing? I fail to see how staying with this guy is a good thing. Again, this is a man who has never publicly defended me at all and just keeps leaving me to the wolves. He has never stood up for me when people criticize me, never once told them to shut up and back off. If he doesn't start showing some bravery against all those petty, narcissistic people it is finished. I don't feel loved and I don't feel wanted by him at all. I'm in physical pain and I'm in tears, but where is he? Definitely not here with me. My Dad was more reliable, willing to drop everything he was doing to help me when I needed it. But this guy is not as reliable and my Dad passed away years ago. I seriously need him to be here but he's nowhere to be found. He can't even be bothered to call me right now and see how I'm doing. How is this a good thing? I think I'm better off on my own.

 

[Anita18]

You're getting that wrong. I want to be shown off as a person, wearing no makeup on my face and a T-shirt and sweats with shades just like normal people do, in love having fun with the man I love, not being shoved into some dark nether region where it's like I don't exist at all. Seriously, how is it a wrong, embarrassing thing to want your friends and family seeing you smiling, happy, holding hands and laughing on a carousel or taking a selfie of yourself sitting at a picnic table with food in hand and giving the man you love a lingering kiss? These are the things that Scaredy Cat doesn't entertain, instead I feel like a prisoner in a dungeon not allowed to engage in normal behavior in public because he's too scared certain hateful people are going to see them. I can understand not posting pics of a sexually intimate nature on the internet, but not posting pics of just doing normal things like holding hands? How is that unacceptable?



But see, these things are not even in practice here so I guess it's time for me to move on to someone who will make the effort and just doesn't care how people will react.

My husband still isn't comfortable with PDA. He's affectionate in private. Is that not enough for you, it all has to be public on the internet to be legitimate?

But yeah, if people are slagging on you and he doesn't have the guts to stand up for the relationship, it's best to leave. But that's FAR more serious than not posting lovey pics on Facebook, for real.

 

[Avenging Angel]

I think there are way too many texting rules. Apparently girls are supposed to hold back on the pressure for guys to realize if they're interested in them or not. I never liked all these made up rules.