X3: Rewrite-A-Scene

[Fanticon]

Beast/Leech scene.

Hank- Hello son. I'm Dr. Hank McCoy. ::Goes to extend his hand and watches as his human hand returns::

Leech- I'm sorry Mr. McCoy.

Hank- ::Staring at his hand in amazement and enjoying seeing his normal form for once, tears welling in his eyes:: It's okay.

Dr. Rao- ::Seeing his obvious joy and peace:: Would you like to experience the rest of his power?

Hank- ::looks to Dr. Rao; then proceeds to get closer and slowly we begin to see his actual face appear, where the camera could've panned over and have him looking in the mirror, the tears are still streaming down his cheek:: You have an amazing gift son.

::Begins to back away from Leech and slowly we see his Beast form return::

Dr. Rao- He's extrodinary(spelling?) isn't he?

Hank- Yes he is.....

(The reason I put this in was because I wanted to give the audience and the fans a chance to see Kelsey without the make-up, and also to add a sense of happy emotion as well.)

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I just wanna say just for constructive criticism...the extended scene doesn't work for two reasons...1. Rao sounds like she wants to stick Beast with a needle...2. Showing him getting closer to Leech and revealing his face for us to see Kelsey Grammer would make the audience go "oh look its frasier"...I know this is just for fun but I thought I should point out that I thought that scene was perfect how it was.

 

[LastSunrise1981]

I just wanna say just for constructive criticism...the extended scene doesn't work for two reasons...1. Rao sounds like she wants to stick Beast with a needle...2. Showing him getting closer to Leech and revealing his face for us to see Kelsey Grammer would make the audience go "oh look its frasier"...I know this is just for fun but I thought I should point out that I thought that scene was perfect how it was.

Hmm, fair enough. How about seeing half of his face then? But I could see what you mean by that though.

So perhaps it does work the way it is.

And you're right, I just realized what I wrote about Rao. Definitely not good writing there.

 

[Kroc1138]

Rewrite your scenes here!

AND PLEASE LET'S KEEP IT SERIOUS, NO SILLY JOKEY STUFF.

Can't wait to read'em.

I couldn't just limit myself to rewriting mere scenes, I'd have to rewrite the whole movie.

 

[LastSunrise1981]

I couldn't just limit myself to rewriting mere scenes, I'd have to rewrite the whole movie.

The ironic thing is with all that we've contributed and so forth are almost the entire movie really.

It's quite sad when a lot of the improvements we made pretty much affect and change the entire movie.

 

[Kroc1138]

The ironic thing is with all that we've contributed and so forth are almost the entire movie really.

It's quite sad when a lot of the improvements we made pretty much affect and change the entire movie.

Damn! Maybe I should see if I can give this thread a once over see what could have been.

 

[Fanticon]

oh and another thing...I said the movie scene was perfect how it was...but people would disagree with me and say that the only thing that keeps it from that is Leech didn't look like Leech...just a random kid...don't you think that if they made him look a little like he does in the comicverse that the irony of his power is that the only person he can't cure is himself

 

[LastSunrise1981]

oh and another thing...I said the movie scene was perfect how it was...but people would disagree with me and say that the only thing that keeps it from that is Leech didn't look like Leech...just a random kid...don't you think that if they made him look a little like he does in the comicverse that the irony of his power is that the only person he can't cure is himself

Very good point. I remember them doing make-up tests for Leech, but decided to go with a normal looking kid.

I've always felt that Leech should look like he does in the comics.

 

[The Batman]

... uh dude... heh. its 10:00 AM, the x-forums are kinda dead, I don't think this thread will go onto page 2... lol its slow this morning. besides, its saturday

And yet your posts marks the 80th one in this thread...my site format has a topic going 40 posts a page....so now its on page three

 

[The Original Bamfer]

I really like constructive criticism...

 

[DarknessOfDeath]

And yet your posts marks the 80th one in this thread...my site format has a topic going 40 posts a page....so now its on page three

im sorry I wasn't here when it was on page 3... I had to work today.

... lol. you make me laugh. heh.

anyway

Scott: Jean? How... -shakes his head- how is this possible? This can't be you, Jean. I saw you die.

Jean: Scott? ...It is me.

Scott: but how?

Jean: I dunno...

He walks up to her and hugs her. "I've missed you so much. I don't know what I'd do without you then and now your here...I-"

Jean: I've missed you too. -she pauses and looks up at Scott- I wanna see your eyes. Take these off.

Scott: no...

Jean: trust me. I can control my powers...just try and relax. -she takes off his glasses and uses her powers to hold his optic blasts back- Oh Scott...

Scott: Jean... -he runs his hand through her hair and they kiss-

... CUT ...

 

[La_She-Beast]

I love that scene LastSunrise1981 of Beast and Leech, perhaps the crying was unnecesary, but loved it even so.

2. Showing him getting closer to Leech and revealing his face for us to see Kelsey Grammer would make the audience go "oh look its frasier"...

Yes, but you say that in every serie/movie Kelsey Grammer appears in, from Star Trek Enterprise to Even Money. It's like you were saying that "Ah, look, that's Rowan Atkinson in the Witches " or "Hey! Jim Carrey is the same person in Lemon Snicket". Actors are for appearing in the big screen
I don't get your first point though. It's quite obvious that Kavita wants to stick a needle to every mutant she encounters with, don't you think?

 

[taintedFB]

DoD, even your version seems rushed. I wish they had more of a moment at Alkali Lake.

Wanting to see his eyes comes out of nowhere and seems so random to me. I think I'll take a crack at it soon...

 

[The Ones]

Magneto: What do they call you?

Juggernaut: Juggernaut

Magneto: I cant imagine why

Juggernaut: Oh let me out of here i need to pee

Magneto: Tell me, if your unstoppable, how did you get captured

Juggernaut: My worthless 1/2 brother. Charles Xavier

*Magneto looks stunned, shcoked and amazed at the same time*

Magneto: How would you like to get your own back

Juggernaut: It would be a pleasure

Magneto: Join me and you could have your vengence against your..

Juggernaut: I'll join you already just get me out of this thing

 

[ntcrawler]

Hooray for the fans! Thank you all so much for this... this opportunity! I can't describe how dazed and shocked I still am after seeing what they did to our heroes and series with X3. This by far is one of the best ways to gain some peace and heal some wounds.

The X-men are in trouble, and only we the fans can save them! Victims of bad writing!!

 

[ntcrawler]

Magneto: What do they call you?

Juggernaut: Juggernaut

Magneto: I cant imagine why

Juggernaut: Oh let me out of here i need to pee

Magneto: Tell me, if your unstoppable, how did you get captured

Juggernaut: My worthless 1/2 brother. Charles Xavier

*Magneto looks stunned, shcoked and amazed at the same time*

Magneto: How would you like to get your own back

Juggernaut: It would be a pleasure

Magneto: Join me and you could have your vengence against your..

Juggernaut: I'll join you already just get me out of this thing

Yes! This is great! just 10 seconds more footage and you fill in a really annoying loophole. I remember someone pointing out that these extra mutants joined Magneto's cause without even asking what the cause was or who he was. thank you!

 

[ntcrawler]

DoD, even your version seems rushed. I wish they had more of a moment at Alkali Lake.

Wanting to see his eyes comes out of nowhere and seems so random to me. I think I'll take a crack at it soon...

I agree. I considered this one of the climaxes and pivotal moments of the film. We were waiting for this since X2. Just look at the picture from the scene of them together. It' worth a thousand words. It's one of those moments where time stops and you let emotions flow. Slow down for a sec, let the chars (and the audience) enjoy the moment. I mean how would we feel if we lost the love of our lives, and for whatever reason, however unlikely, the one thing we wanted most but thought impossible did happen and there she was standing in front of us?

Which is also why I can't stand what was shown in the film. It felt completely wrong. What happened was absolutely THE last thing my friends and I expected to happen, and that's not because the director was so brilliant and tossed in something surprising. That and honestly we don't even know what happened. Scott's death was never established. There was no sign of carnage just his glasses, and when Logan tries to confront Jean about this doesn't it seem like she's surprised and denying that she killed him or he's dead? Maybe she knows something that they don't and didn't have a chance to blurt it out.

Maybe he really is lost in the woods wandering around, blind with his eyes closed, to be picked up or found in a later scene. Surely he'd have some survival training just in case he loses his shades. Or has a 2nd, emergency pair in a back pocket.

So far the suggestions posted have been great. Soon as I get some sleep I'm gonna take a crack at this too.

 

[La_She-Beast]

So far the suggestions posted have been great. Soon as I get some sleep I'm gonna take a crack at this too.

Oh yes... I agree with both. Probably I'll post something today

 

[ntcrawler]

Before I take a crack at Alkali Lake, I have a quick question:

Who would be happier to see who? Jean at coming back to life and running into Scott? Scott seeing the impossible happen before him? Or mutual? Trust me there's a reason for this and I want to get it right. Input appreciated!

 

[ntcrawler]

OK here's a silly one:

[mind battle scene at the Grey Residence, Charles X hovering and facing down Phoenix]

Phoenix​

The circle is now complete. When I met you I was but the learner. Now *I* am the master

Charles​

Only a master of evil, Jean

Phoenix​

Your powers are weak, old man

Charles​

You can't win, Jean. If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you could possibly imagine.

 

[bcd90]

Prof X: Something woke Jean, but she needs to be controlled

Logan: What do you mean?

Prof X: Jean is one of the only class 5 mutants I have ever encountered. Her potential is limitless.

Logan: Since when

Prof X: When Jean was a young girl I recognized the power that she possessed and I knew she would not be able to control it, so I put mental barriers in her mind to supress her powers. It was for her own good.

Logan: So when she wakes up why do we have to be worried?

Prof X: By placing mental blocks in her mind it caused a split personality that called her self the Pheonix. The Pheonix is dangerous and full of anger and rage.

Logan: Do you think thats what killed Scott

Prof X: Most likely

 

[bcd90]

The house scene with prof x and Jean

Prof X: Jean..

Jean: Not Jean, only her body.

Prof X: Jean can you hear me?

Jean: The mutant Jean Grey can no longer hear you. Speak only to the Pheonix

Prof X: Let me in Jean!

Jean: Your puny mind is no match for mine.

Starting to dissintegrate

Jean: You once told Jean Grey that the greatest joy of teaching is seeing your students surpass you. It has happened. Now I will destroy you.

 

[jrd550]

uhh, they'd have to re write the entire movie to make it good.

 

[DarknessOfDeath]

Just recently saw Love and sex and man... Famke's performance blew me away...lol. I like the moments when she gets angry, sad, classy, sexy, horny, emotional, happy, funny...but sometimes I see a few Jean and Phoenix moments here and there. watch her facial expressions and the way she reacts in her scenes- she's awsome.

Okay... now if Jean had her own x-men movie, that would be ... so awsome.

Alright...here's my rewrite...again.

Scott: Jean? How... -his face is shocked and confused as he looks up at her- how is this possible? This can't be you, Jean. I saw you die.

Jean: Scott? ...It is me.

Scott: but how?

Jean: I dunno...-she looks down at her hands-

Jean: -she glances down at him and slowly lowers herself to the ground. A light appears but then slowly fades away and Jean Grey steps forward but stops herself and she almost faints but Scott is there in an instant to keep her from falling unconcious-

Scott: Jean...you alright? -he stops and pulls away a strand of red hair from her pretty eyes and her face. She slowly opens her eyes and says "Hey Silm..." she smiles. He says "hey..." back and Scott helps her stand. then the two of them wrap their arms around each other and embrace- I've missed you so much. I don't know what I'd do without you then and now your here...I-

Jean: I've missed you too. -she holds onto him tightly, pauses and looks up at Scott- Theres so much I want to say to you. -she stares deeply at him and frowns- Scott... I wanna see your eyes.

Scott: no...-he slides his hands down to her waist, pulling her closer to him- I... don't want to hurt you, Jean.

Jean: trust me. -she runs her hand up along the side of his face, rubbing his cheek gently-I can control my powers...-then she slowly moves her hands up to his glasses-

Scott: Jean... -he pulls his hands away from her waist and grabs her wrists to prevent her from taking his glasses off- ...don't. -he looks down and lets go of one of her wrists-

Jean: please. -she rubs his chin and this makes him glance up at her. she bites her lower lip emotionally- Just this once.

Scott shakes his head and sighs.

Jean: You can't hurt me.

Scott: -swallows hard as he releases her other wrist from his grip slowly-

Jean: -she takes off his glasses-

Scott: ... -squeezes his eyes shut and as he hears her soft gentle voice "Open them..." he opens his eyes and stares lovenly at the most beautiful woman before him-

Jean: Oh Scott... -she says emotionally as she stares deeply into his beautiful eyes-

Scott: Jean... -he runs his hand through her hair and strokes her cheek. this time he brings her even more closer to him, his hands on the small of her back while Jean leans into him, wrapping her arms around his neck. As their lips meet, they kiss softly at first, they feel their love for each other has grown stronger than before. Jean runs her hand up into his hair and they kiss passionately while giving into their love and desires for each other-

...

...

and yeah...kinda too me a while to collect my feelings/thoughts and put them together...

 

[flavio_lebeau]

ALKALI LAKE SCENE-
Scott arrives on his bike. He approaches the Lake slowly and fallS on his knees.
Scott: Its my fault...
Jean telepathicaly: Its not...i'm here...save me...Scott...its not...Save me...Scott...Scott...here...save me...here
Scott: NO! NO!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
he stands up, puts his hands on his head,screaming, and falls on his knees again. He takes off his glasses and shoots at the sky for a long time, he's getting weak. He then closes his eyes.
Scott: Why, Jean?
the telepathic messages start again. He now breaks his glasses in fury and shoots at the lake. A whirlpool is formed, waves start to get stronger and stronger. Scott senses something is wrong, but he doesnt know what. A huge explosion happens in the water, He suddenly is pulled back, and feels water reaching his face and body. He stands up, confused, not wanting to open his eyes again. Suddenly, a bright light takes over the place, the light is so strong that he can feel it even with eyes closed.


Up in the sky, a huge ball of energy, full of flames, yellow, orange, red, sometimes pink and even blue take place. The energy gets softer, and we see the silhouette of a woman. Jean Grey. She is flying and has arms extended and legs straight "glued" . She is in ecstasis. Her hair is long and blowing. As the energy gets softer, she starts to land right in front of Cyclops. She opens her eyes.
Scott can feel his lover, her presence was strong.

Scott: Je...Jean?
Jean: Oh my God...Scott!!!!!!!!!

as she speaks, Scott knows she is in front of him. He desperately runs to her and they hug in an almost savage way.

Scott:I can't believe!!!!!!!I cant live without you, Jean.
Jean: I am here, Scott.

they kiss passionately. She then touches his face and eyes.

Jean: I want you to see me.
Scott: I cant, Jean.
Jean: Trust me Scott. Now i can control it. Open your eyes.

He immediately trusts her and slowly opens his eyes. The energy is held back. For the first time, he sees Jean Grey after she's returned. And she's more beautiful than ever.

Jean: Your eyes are...beautiful.
He smiles. Suddenly, She starts to hold his face in a stronger way, her hands are almost hurting his face. She smiles

Scott: Jean? wait...
her nails are cutting into his face, digging inside, her eyes start to go black, andd veins appear in her face.

Scott: JEAN STOP IT!!!!!!!!
Cyclops's blast comes back and hit them both, they are pulled away from each other. Jean is unconscious from the fall, but unfortunately, her new powers dont come from her consciousness. Stones start to lift, the water starts to vaporize, leaves are flying fast.

Scott: NO!
Cyclops has his eyes closed. He feels an intense pain and starts to scream. He begs for Jean to stop it, but she's not even awake. The fingers from his hand start to slowly atomize, just like whats happening to many stones and leaves.

-CUT-

 

[LastSunrise1981]

ALKALI LAKE SCENE-
Scott arrives on his bike. He approaches the Lake slowly and fallS on his knees.
Scott: Its my fault...
Jean telepathicaly: Its not...i'm here...save me...Scott...its not...Save me...Scott...Scott...here...save me...here
Scott: NO! NO!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
he stands up, puts his hands on his head,screaming, and falls on his knees again. He takes off his glasses and shoots at the sky for a long time, he's getting weak. He then closes his eyes.
Scott: Why, Jean?
the telepathic messages start again. He now breaks his glasses in fury and shoots at the lake. A whirlpool is formed, waves start to get stronger and stronger. Scott senses something is wrong, but he doesnt know what. A huge explosion happens in the water, He suddenly is pulled back, and feels water reaching his face and body. He stands up, confused, not wanting to open his eyes again. Suddenly, a bright light takes over the place, the light is so strong that he can feel it even with eyes closed.


Up in the sky, a huge ball of energy, full of flames, yellow, orange, red, sometimes pink and even blue take place. The energy gets softer, and we see the silhouette of a woman. Jean Grey. She is flying and has arms extended and legs straight "glued" . She is in ecstasis. Her hair is long and blowing. As the energy gets softer, she starts to land right in front of Cyclops. She opens her eyes.
Scott can feel his lover, her presence was strong.

Scott: Je...Jean?
Jean: Oh my God...Scott!!!!!!!!!

as she speaks, Scott knows she is in front of him. He desperately runs to her and they hug in an almost savage way.

Scott:I can't believe!!!!!!!I cant live without you, Jean.
Jean: I am here, Scott.

they kiss passionately. She then touches his face and eyes.

Jean: I want you to see me.
Scott: I cant, Jean.
Jean: Trust me Scott. Now i can control it. Open your eyes.

He immediately trusts her and slowly opens his eyes. The energy is held back. For the first time, he sees Jean Grey after she's returned. And she's more beautiful than ever.

Jean: Your eyes are...beautiful.
He smiles. Suddenly, She starts to hold his face in a stronger way, her hands are almost hurting his face. She smiles

Scott: Jean? wait...
her nails are cutting into his face, digging inside, her eyes start to go black, andd veins appear in her face.

Scott: JEAN STOP IT!!!!!!!!
Cyclops's blast comes back and hit them both, they are pulled away from each other. Jean is unconscious from the fall, but unfortunately, her new powers dont come from her consciousness. Stones start to lift, the water starts to vaporize, leaves are flying fast.

Scott: NO!
Cyclops has his eyes closed. He feels an intense pain and starts to scream. He begs for Jean to stop it, but she's not even awake. The fingers from his hand start to slowly atomize, just like whats happening to many stones and leaves.

-CUT-

Dammit stop killing Cyke!!!



Leave him alone for once! How about having both of them just faint at the sight of each other?