Official Relationship Thread: The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

[hopefuldreamer]

It's weird so many people are saying throwing up on weed is rare/unheard of.

In my teen years I was a pot head and had a big group of pot head friends. Throwing up on weed was called 'whiteying' and plenty of people did it... It was kind of a rite of passage. If you whiteyed you'd get a pat on the back and a good hearted ribbing about it, but it was never a big deal.

Then again, I'm from England where we don't know how to do things in moderation and a people call throwing up when drunk 'making more room'

I guess I just come from a different world. The way your describing her she sounds like a normal person. We all have all sorts of troubles and weird emotions and thoughts at that age, and there are plenty of people that experiment with drugs to deal with them... Not everyone deals with them in conventional ways.

It doesn't mean she's on some kind of path to destruction.

But believe me, if it turns out she is, there is absolutely nothing you can do about it. In fact, her guilt and pressure from you will probably make her want it even more... It's backwards but often true.

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

Some people get their sense of balance really thrown off by weed. I see this in girls more than guys. It definitely can and does happen though.

 

[Erzengel]

I get high on life.

And glue, but mostly life.

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

I prefer crack.

 

[Anita18]

I understand completely where you're coming from. I was like that myself a few months back and it was liberating. Just don't close that door on relationships completely -- i know it sounds corny but what happened to me for a short time was that I actually didn't want to let my guard down and trust anyone. And i mean anyone. At all. People used to make compliments or do nice things I'd look for an ulterior motive.

What was sad was the fact that I was right. Every time. Paranoia is instinct. I'm saying, what you're doing is sound just be ready to face the fact that it'll become difficult to put your trust in someone later on if you ever get involved. But it wouldn't be impossible. Just difficult.

Whenever people do nice things for me, doesn't mean they want to get in my pants. -shrug- But I do nice things for other people with no ulterior motive.

I think you get in life what you dole out. If you are indeed as paranoid as you say, you will attract people who are like you. People who are trusting don't want to be around someone who's paranoid and cynical. It's not fun. Whereas distrusting people think of each other as kin. And so the cycle goes....

 

[Erzengel]

Not calling out Nave personally.

But, in general those who become jaded, pessimistic individuals in their late teens or early 20s because for 6 months Senior year, you were friends with someone, never told them how you felt or you did and they didn't reciprocate are just silly.

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

Not calling out Nave personally.

But, in general those who become jaded, pessimistic individuals in their late teens or early 20s because for 6 months Senior year, you were friends with someone, never told them how you felt or you did and they didn't reciprocate are just silly.

Yes, there are much better reasons for becoming a jaded, pessimistic and soulless adult.

 

[Frodo]

I get high on life.

And glue, but mostly life.

I prefer women . That's my drug of choice .

As for being jaded , and bitter and all that stuff...yeah, pretty wrong and a waste of alot of energy and perfectly good beer. I recommend just watching 500 Days of Summer. That seems to cheer everyone up .

Either that or just go out and have a good time.

 

[Nave 'Torment']

It's weird so many people are saying throwing up on weed is rare/unheard of.

In my teen years I was a pot head and had a big group of pot head friends. Throwing up on weed was called 'whiteying' and plenty of people did it... It was kind of a rite of passage. If you whiteyed you'd get a pat on the back and a good hearted ribbing about it, but it was never a big deal.

Then again, I'm from England where we don't know how to do things in moderation and a people call throwing up when drunk 'making more room'

I guess I just come from a different world. The way your describing her she sounds like a normal person. We all have all sorts of troubles and weird emotions and thoughts at that age, and there are plenty of people that experiment with drugs to deal with them... Not everyone deals with them in conventional ways.

It doesn't mean she's on some kind of path to destruction.

But believe me, if it turns out she is, there is absolutely nothing you can do about it. In fact, her guilt and pressure from you will probably make her want it even more... It's backwards but often true.

See? Yes this is what I needed to hear. Thank you. I think I've managed to be less paranoid and she's managed to be less dependent. Time will tell. It's just that with her it seems as though there's no slow button.

Not that it's a bad thing. I just need to start running again.

I trust her too much. Only time will tell if it's been put in the right place. I try to keep her from thinking like she needs to dependent on anything to feel happy. That's just bad reasoning. I hope it all works out.

I get high on life.

And glue, but mostly life.

This.

I prefer Cracked.com

Fixed for self.

I think you get in life what you dole out. If you are indeed as paranoid as you say, you will attract people who are like you. People who are trusting don't want to be around someone who's paranoid and cynical. It's not fun. Whereas distrusting people think of each other as kin. And so the cycle goes....

Which is fine by me. It's better to be compatible than complimentary, but I believe we've had this discussion before! I get paranoid over things I care about. It's served me well

But people find me trustworthy a lot. I don't get that. Maybe it's the nice-guy thing.

Not calling out Nave personally.

But, in general those who become jaded, pessimistic individuals in their late teens or early 20s because for 6 months Senior year, you were friends with someone, never told them how you felt or you did and they didn't reciprocate are just silly.

I agree. But regardless we all do silly things that come to define us later on. For what it's worth I'm glad I did tell her. Things work out. They just do. I'm less cynical now.

Maybe it's a bad thing.

 

[Nave 'Torment']

I prefer women . That's my drug of choice .

As for being jaded , and bitter and all that stuff...yeah, pretty wrong and a waste of alot of energy and perfectly good beer. I recommend just watching 500 Days of Summer. That seems to cheer everyone up .

Either that or just go out and have a good time.

Yeah... I hate that movie. The message is all wrong: love is love at first sight even if she doesn't feel it. Don't worry. You'll "love-at-first-sight" again. I mean. Good god what the hell happened to communication and working at relationships? Marc Webb... good guy... makes really pretty looking films... just misses the point everytime.

Yes. I'm looking at The Amazing Spider-Man when we're doing that.

Which... reminds me. Since we are in a Superhero film site talking about relationships... any favourite ones? Anyone you can relate to? Is there a no-shippers-allowed policy on this thread?

As for being cynical... very true. It's just that people sometimes need a good ol' Bat-Brooding on top of a roof... next to a gargoyle who laughs at their terrible jokes when no one else does. It works out. Just don't dwell on it for too long. I know I do this a lot but self-pity and just drowning in depression just seems... i don't know... like an indulgence. You're indulging in your own depression. The point is to figure out a way to go above it.

 

[Frodo]

Yeah... I hate that movie. The message is all wrong: love is love at first sight even if she doesn't feel it. Don't worry. You'll "love-at-first-sight" again.

I mean. Good god what the hell happened to communication and working at relationships? Marc Webb... good guy... makes really pretty looking films... just misses the point everytime.

I've found that everyone takes away something different from the film. I always thought that one of the points was that there wasn't any communication and that JGL had a distorted view of what the relationship was and who she was.

They both had vastly different expectations of what the relationship was and both didnt really want to talk about it.

He somehow thought of her as his soul mate while she was basically having a good time but didn't really consider him "the one". He ends up falling her while shes the kind of free spirit cliche who's here one minute gone the next. In the end he moves on and mets Minka Kelly.

 

[Anita18]

Yeah... I hate that movie. The message is all wrong: love is love at first sight even if she doesn't feel it. Don't worry. You'll "love-at-first-sight" again. I mean. Good god what the hell happened to communication and working at relationships? Marc Webb... good guy... makes really pretty looking films... just misses the point everytime.

Yes. I'm looking at The Amazing Spider-Man when we're doing that.

Which... reminds me. Since we are in a Superhero film site talking about relationships... any favourite ones? Anyone you can relate to? Is there a no-shippers-allowed policy on this thread?

TDKR, of course.

This is a bit out there. At the end, where the lawyer taking care of Bruce's will says, "Leave no stone unturned, we can't have a string of pearls on the manifest as lost." You find out later that Bruce Wayne left behind his pain and has run away with Selina Kyle to start a new life, and given her the pearls that once belonged to his mother.

As some of you know, I'm getting married soon, and when the lawyer says that line, I just picture them taking each other's hands and going off into a life unknown, but together.

I know, it's hokey.

I've found that everyone takes away something different from the film. I always thought that one of the points was that there wasn't any communication and that JGL had a distorted view of what the relationship was and who she was.

They both had vastly different expectations of what the relationship was and both didnt really want to talk about it.

He somehow thought of her as his soul mate while she was basically having a good time but didn't really consider him "the one". He ends up falling her while shes the kind of free spirit cliche who's here one minute gone the next. In the end he moves on and mets Minka Kelly.

It was a cute movie but didn't stick with me. He learns NOTHING. My friend pointed out that the movie ended before we find out if he actually learned anything, but I like my movies with a character arc contained within, thank you very much.

And it also turns out that she ends up agreeing with him, because she "loved at first sight" too. Just not with him. I still consider it one of those unrealistic romance movies that only heighten unrealistic expectations for relationships, despite its "realistic look at relationships" reputation.

My fiance's friend recommended it to him when we were casually dating early on. I did not "love at first sight" with my fiance, and I don't think he did with me either. It would have been pretty awkward, and I told him so. We finally caught it in a second run theater a few months later (after we had gotten more serious), and he agreed that it would have been awkward with that whole "love at first sight" thing that didn't happen for us.

But yes, there was no real communication, at least on his end. She was trying her best to tell him things were casual but he kept on holding out hope.

 

[Nave 'Torment']

I've found that everyone takes away something different from the film. I always thought that one of the points was that there wasn't any communication and that JGL had a distorted view of what the relationship was and who she was.

They both had vastly different expectations of what the relationship was and both didnt really want to talk about it.

He somehow thought of her as his soul mate while she was basically having a good time but didn't really consider him "the one". He ends up falling her while shes the kind of free spirit cliche who's here one minute gone the next. In the end he moves on and mets Minka Kelly.

Exactly no that's pretty much what i got out of it as well. Doesn't that scream bad though? Because a) it doesn't work because he considers her as his soul mate and there's no communication, and b) he repeats the same thing with Minka Kelly.

Also, for someone who seemed to have considered her as a potential "soul mate" the only things he kept talking about her that he loved were how she smiled, how she looked, etc. Y'know, the stuff that'd wear out in 50 or so years. Soul mate? Dude needed to do better than that.

Everyone looked pretty though. And I like JGL as an actor. And of course. Minka Kelley (what was her name again? Fall or something?)

 

[The Guard]

The strength of 500 DAYS OF SUMMER is its deconstruction of the nature of "love at first sight", "true love", "happy endings", etc.

As I recall, he doesn't repeat the same thing with Minka Kelly, because he doesn't fall for her the second he sees her; he just decides to give it a shot because he kind of likes her.

It's not a movie about how to communicate, or how relationships are supposed to work. It was never intended to be, and is, in fact, about a more dysfunctional/modern relationship. Its about getting over the idealized version of something. I didn't find it particular unique (save for the dance number), I just thought it was a well made film.

 

[Frodo]

The strength of 500 DAYS OF SUMMER is its deconstruction of the nature of "love at first sight", "true love", "happy endings", etc.

As I recall, he doesn't repeat the same thing with Minka Kelly, because he doesn't fall for her the second he sees her; he just decides to give it a shot because he kind of likes her.

It's not a movie about how to communicate, or how relationships are supposed to work. It was never intended to be, and is, in fact, about a more dysfunctional/modern relationship. Its about getting over the idealized version of something. I didn't find it particular unique (save for the dance number), I just thought it was a well made film.

That's kinda what I felt about it as well. it wasn't so much as about how things should be but how they can be at times.

 

[Nave 'Torment']

Well i saw it once i believe; i liked how it was intended to be "not your typical romance comedy" and loved the nonlinear narrative (but admit it -- it's not that hot in a post-Memento world) but didn't the scene with Minka Kelly simply show that he seems hopeful for her yet again? The same thing? I don't know.

 

[Nave 'Torment']

edit

 

[Erzengel]

I think he learns after his talk with Summer before he asks out Autumn. Especially since the way he first sees Summer and the way he sees Autumn there seems to be a difference there.

 

[Frodo]

I think Tom learns a bit but the end is very opened ended. Ultimately he may end up making the same mistakes or new ones. its one of my favorite films but I've never fallen at first sight. I've lusted at first sight many times but not loved. Still, Its a fun movie.

 

[hopefuldreamer]

So what does everyone think IS a good fictional representation of a healthy relationship?

 

[WillardNation]

Kurt Russell and Courtney Cox in 3000 miles to Graceland.

 

[Frodo]

Closer with Natalie Portman, Julie Roberts, Clive Owen and Jude Law. Okay...so its not exactly a healthy representation of a relationship...but its a representation.

 

[Anubis]

Doug and Carrie towards the end of King of Queens. When she got all fat and b***hy after having like six kids IRL, and he was just a complete *****e.

 

[hopefuldreamer]

Okay, I didn't say what was a realistic relationship representation

I mean what on screen couple are the kind of couple you'd want your relationship to be like?

 

[Anubis]

Lars and Bianca from Lars and the Real Girl.