Raiders of the Official Relationship Thread

[The Original Bamfer]

I haven't really had the problem since high school. Since then, I've only been attracted to folks who I knew I was compatible with... until now. I hate how dumb love is.

 

[HisMagicTrick]

Whenever a guy has asked me out (you know, the two times that it happened ), they always seemed to try to project an image of, well, no confidence, as though that will guilt trip me into saying yes. Before they asked the question they were like, 'I'm really nervous right now, but do you want to go out some time?'.

Yeah, guys, pointing that out is very unattractive. At least, to me it is anyway.

 

[SpideyVille]

I haven't really had the problem since high school. Since then, I've only been attracted to folks who I knew I was compatible with... until now. I hate how dumb love is.

Why can't you tell this person? Like how do you know the feelings definitely aren't mutual?

 

[The Original Bamfer]

Why can't you tell this person? Like how do you know the feelings definitely aren't mutual?

I'm very intuitive. Going by my gut has never failed me in the past. Plus it makes things a bit more complicated when it's a dude crushing on another dude...

 

[SuperSoldier985]

Hmmmm... This may sound like an odd question, (if you are under 21 mention it as it relates to the info) but how well does your facial hair and body hair grow in?

Voice on the deeper end of the scale, or higher end?

What kind of build do you have? Muscular? Thin? Heavy set?

Some of the stuff you write reminds me of a specific medical condition. One that is fairly easy to treat with a doctors care, that you may consider getting tested for.

Welllllll, Dr. Super Mike...

I'm over 25.
I'm bald-ish
Heavy set, but I'm relatively toned when it comes to musculature.
Voice definitely isn't high.

and did I mention I was a Black guy from the city living in a predominantly White and Hispanic mountain town?

Yeeeeaaahhh...Let's think about this...

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

Carefull with truth speak around here. You see Prime, you as a Cybertronian don't have a full grasp on how much emotional anger that something like saying "universal attractive traits" cause in some organic life, even if it is true. t:

I consider something universal if it fits the vast majority.

I think there is something about confidence and assertive behavior that is necessary not just for sex but for life in general. I think some guys benefit from right time, right circumstance.

Anita reminds me of my college roommate. He had sex with someone, a blind date, and it became his girlfriend for 5 years. While I struggled with women he got to take regular sex for granted. He wasn't a handsome guy really, but his girl was very attractive. I think in a sense he never really learned how to attract girls. The relationship part he had tons of experience with an equally inexperienced partner. When it final, bizarrely ended, he is clearly a fish out of water. Now I'm way ahead of him.

Cases like Anita and my roommate sound nice and all, but I think circumstance and environment occasionally coincide in the right way. Ultimately though I think at some point they displayed confidence. Confidence to me, if I could describe it, is like having a mind at peace. No interior monologue making noise between my ears. When I'm like that I put off this relaxed energy. I can't quite describe it but the ends seem to justify the assumption. People come to me.

Today I met the program director of my local hit radio station for the first time. He gave me a shout out in the club so everyone could see me. That stuff just happens when your confident. In my opinion there is a vibes people feel but never truly understand. It hits them in their subconscious. How else could it be explained? People never get to see everyone beforehand and choose the most logical pick. Your eyes just run over them and bam. I think something has to cause that bam and I think it's a feeling in your head.

When I had a lot of trouble talking to girls I remember all the few times I occasionally did well. When I started pulling that thread there were commonalities. The commonality was that I let people know I was vulnerable. This isn't exactly confidence but its the openness that comes from confidence. Confidence makes people think you're open and and accessible. Assertiveness takes this a second step and invites people to come in. I don't feel its a smart missile. You might hit your target but there is a lot of collateral damage.

I also think its important to not let girls tell you what they want. Not girls in general. Girls are an audience. If they're looking, by definition, they DON'T know what they want. You always have the opportunity to present a new and better product.

 

[OctaviusINC]

Whenever a guy has asked me out (you know, the two times that it happened ), they always seemed to try to project an image of, well, no confidence, as though that will guilt trip me into saying yes. Before they asked the question they were like, 'I'm really nervous right now, but do you want to go out some time?'.

Yeah, guys, pointing that out is very unattractive. At least, to me it is anyway.

Yeah, but if you truly like that guy and really want to go out with him you wouldn't really care if he says if he was "nervous" or not. You'd just be extremely happy that he's asking you out and you can't wait to say "yes".

And he probably said he was nervous because he was nervous. How women find that unattractive is beyond me. You made him nervous.That means he likes you. Should be a little but flattering. I don't think there's a guilt trip. I just think he's trying to tell you to bear with him because he likes you.

My 2 cents anyway.

 

[SuperSoldier985]

Yeah, but if you truly like that guy and really want to go out with him you wouldn't really care if he says if he was "nervous" or not. You'd just be extremely happy that he's asking you out and you can't wait to say "yes".

And he probably said he was nervous because he was nervous. How women find that unattractive is beyond me. You made him nervous.That means he likes you. Should be a little but flattering. I don't think there's a guilt trip. I just think he's trying to tell you to bear with him because he likes you.

My 2 cents anyway.

Wait... Women are complicated creatures?....

I had no idea!

 

[OctaviusINC]

You bet your sweet bippy

 

[HisMagicTrick]

Yeah, but if you truly like that guy and really want to go out with him you wouldn't really care if he says if he was "nervous" or not. You'd just be extremely happy that he's asking you out and you can't wait to say "yes".

And he probably said he was nervous because he was nervous. How women find that unattractive is beyond me. You made him nervous.That means he likes you. Should be a little but flattering. I don't think there's a guilt trip. I just think he's trying to tell you to bear with him because he likes you.

My 2 cents anyway.

Lol I forgot to clarify that I didn't even know either of their names, nor had I ever seen them before. They just came into the shop where I work and asked me out. On top of that, I'm still a teenager and those guys looked to be in their late twenties/early thirties, so that's a bit too much of an age difference for me.

 

[Anubis]

Wait... Women are complicated creatures?....

I had no idea!

You bet your sweet bippy

Not all that complicated, just like men, they're mostly misinformed.

Her statement right there should tell you. She thought he was trying to pull one over on her by acting nervous. Maybe he was, maybe he wasn't. Just like a girl turns you down, and you assume it's because she only likes jerks. Maybe they just aren't attracted to you. Sometimes it really is because you're ugly.

Misinformed. That's the problem with people. You pretty much have to guess the motives of other people. Unless you're a telepath, you'll likely never really know what people want. Be they people with vaginas, penis', or, with a few unfortunate individuals, Vaginusis.

 

[SuperSoldier985]

Ok, I've been chatting with this apparently cute chick on OkCupid for a few days. We've been messaging for the past hour or so, I'm not sure of her motives, but I just asked her out to meet.

Let's see what happens..

 

[HisMagicTrick]

Careful, only psychopaths go on internet dating sites

 

[Anubis]

I'm guessing that, seeing as she's on a dating website, her motive is to meet somebody and go out on a date.....either that or harvest your organs.

 

[The Original Bamfer]

The latter has happened to me a few times.

 

[SuperSoldier985]

Careful, only psychopaths go on internet dating sites

You calling my sister a psychopath?

I'm guessing that, seeing as she's on a dating website, her motive is to meet somebody and go out on a date.....either that or harvest your organs.

No, I mean, is she looking for a commitment, a fling, just a buddy,...etc.

 

[Anubis]

Should say so in her profile.

 

[The Original Bamfer]

Well, the more you talk to her, the more you'll know. It's similar to actual, real conversation.

 

[Anubis]

Yeah, try this, and I know this might sound kinda crazy but, ask her what type of relationship it is she's looking for.

Trust me, she wont see it coming.

 

[SuperSoldier985]

Should say so in her profile.

Oh, but those things don't usually mean anything...most of the time anyway. They usually just say a bunch of stuff like short term dating/long term dating/commitment..

Well, the more you talk to her, the more you'll know. It's similar to actual, real conversation.

Yeah yeah, I know I know..

 

[SuperSoldier985]

It's on like popcorn..

 

[WillardNation]

It's not demeaning.

The term "fat" was never defined.

What kind of bulls*** politically correct society do you think we live in when you can't even allow someone to call fat people fat when leaving it in conceptual terms of the word 'fat'?

Meanwhile, you came on-board and dropped a post that could easily be interpreted as racist... So yeah, people are going to get after you for that.

It always baffles me when fat people get offended about people saying **** about fat people. Racism, sexism, THOSE are the kinds of things you can get offended about. But you being lazy and not caring enough about yourself to take care of yourself does not give you the privilege to get offended. One time, a friend and I were standing in line to get some food after the bars closed one night and I was saying something along the lines of, "Yeah man, blond, brunette, redhead, black, Asian, white, hispanic, I don't discriminate, I like em all."
These two girls who were standing in front of us (one fat and one just really ugly) turn around and the ugly one says, "Well that's cool. Although I'm sure you discriminate against size, don't you?"
I replied, "Of course I do. You can't expect me to love you if you don't even love yourself."

You give Willard too little credit... I'm sure his proposition was serious...

My propositions are always serious.

 

[The Original Bamfer]

What a visionary.

 

[WillardNation]

That HAS been said before.

 

[The Original Bamfer]

By you, to a mirror.