Official Relationship Thread: The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

[terry78]

Yeah, that's slowly entering hobbit/dwarf territory. Like Samwise Gamgee.

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

Yeah, that's slowly entering hobbit/dwarf territory. Like Samwise Gamgee.

Or Frodo

Or this guy

 

[Anita18]

160 is not out of control. Little heavy for my taste, but a lot of really attractive girls I know, one who models is about 5'8", but due to muscle comes in at 146. In reality I don't think it's possible to have nice boobs and a nice body and clock in at under 130 unless you are really short. Model weights, when you read them, are usually flat out lies designed by their publicist to make them sound more skinny than they really are.

Well, if you're talking about runway models, most of them look close to starvation with bones sticking out everywhere. I'm 5'4"-5'5" and 110 lbs (so teetering between underweight and normal), and I'd be considered "chunky" in the legs if I were to model. My arms and chest make me look runway-model-skinny, though. Damn skinny sticks!

5'8" and 146 lbs would probably be "too fat" for runway, but perfect for fitness.

Oooooh. I see.

Yeeeeeeeah. She's just over the "obese" mark according to the HHS standards. I mean, if she's not working out, there's no muscle there to skew it!

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

Well, if you're talking about runway models, most of them look close to starvation with bones sticking out everywhere. I'm 5'4"-5'5" and 110 lbs (so teetering between underweight and normal), and I'd be considered "chunky" in the legs if I were to model. My arms and chest make me look runway-model-skinny, though. Damn skinny sticks!

5'8" and 146 lbs would probably be "too fat" for runway, but perfect for fitness.

She is fitness but...

That's usually at show or at shoot, they don't walk around like that.

That's what happens when you purge the water from your body with Daddylion root and laxatives...and cocaine. People can carry a ton of water weight. That's probably 10-15lbs of me and my abs are really visible.

 

[Anita18]

That's usually at show or at shoot, they don't walk around like that.

That's what happens when you purge the water from your body with Daddylion root and laxatives...and cocaine.

I see plenty of modelesque girls walking around LA with bones sticking out everywhere. Sometimes I wonder how they can walk around on legs barely thicker than my arms.

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

I see plenty of modelesque girls walking around LA with bones sticking out everywhere. Sometimes I wonder how they can walk around on legs barely thicker than my arms.

Even then, the weight figures you hear are usually a wee bit exaggerated. It's part of the mystique, just like when they say "Christian Bale got up to 220 for Batman!!!!!11!!1!!!". Yeah, of course he did

 

[Anita18]

Even then, the weight figures you hear are usually a wee bit exaggerated. It's part of the mystique, just like when they say "Christian Bale got up to 220 for Batman!!!!!11!!1!!!". Yeah, of course he did

I've actually noticed they've stopped publishing the weights of models. Their knobby knees and elbows and wrists tell me all I need to know about the state of their health.

 

[hopefuldreamer]

5'0

So you're 5'5?

 

[SuperMike335!!]

Well, nobody said they couldn't be attracted to buff dudes. I don't necessarily find that hypocritical. Fat guys can be attracted to models.

Whether they only accept those kinds of guys for relationships is another thing entirely.

Soooo, it shallow if Optimus does not want to be in a relationship with a woman who is out of shape, but perfectly fine for a girl to exclude based on the same criteria?

Just challenging thinking about this for a second.

Do looks matter? Does size matter? Height? Build etc...

If not or if so, where do we draw the line?

We ALL know someone who insists that looks don't matter, but who spends time putting on makeup, picking the right clothes to wear etc...

What they are really trying to say is that physical shape does not matter. Easy for them, being its the one part of their appearance that actually takes a lot of discipline to get.

At least be consistent. If is ok for a girl to exclude a guy for being out of shape or otherwise physically unnatractive (short height, assymetrical facial features, small penis etc...), then that door swings both ways.

 

[Anita18]

Soooo, it shallow if Optimus does not want to be in a relationship with a woman who is out of shape, but perfectly fine for a girl to exclude based on the same criteria?

Just challenging thinking about this for a second.

Do looks matter? Does size matter? Height? Build etc...

If not or if so, where do we draw the line?

We ALL know someone who insists that looks don't matter, but who spends time putting on makeup, picking the right clothes to wear etc...

What they are really trying to say is that physical shape does not matter. Easy for them, being its the one part of their appearance that actually takes a lot of discipline to get.

At least be consistent. If is ok for a girl to exclude a guy for being out of shape or otherwise physically unnatractive (short height, assymetrical facial features, small penis etc...), then that door swings both ways.

Um, I did not say that. I said you can be attracted to model-types and not be a hypocrite. "Attracted to" does not mean "want to date." I call 'em eye candy!

If you only accepted a model to be your bf/gf if you were fat and lazy, THAT is hypocritical.

 

[hopefuldreamer]

This entire conversation pretty much sums up why I tend to skip over certain people on internet dating sites.

The minute I see their interests include lots of sports or gym going, I know that i'm not the kind of girl for them.

 

[Anita18]

This entire conversation pretty much sums up why I tend to skip over certain people on internet dating sites.

The minute I see their interests include lots of sports or gym going, I know that i'm not the kind of girl for them.

Srsly. I only go once or twice a week and I use the power rack, but that doesn't mean it's an "interest" that's big in my life!

 

[SuperMike335!!]

This entire conversation pretty much sums up why I tend to skip over certain people on internet dating sites.

The minute I see their interests include lots of sports or gym going, I know that i'm not the kind of girl for them.

Don't sell yourself short.

Talk to them anyway, that is if you like the idea of going to the gym too and having a guy who also serves as a private personal trainer.

Some of the biggest comic book geeks as kids these days also hit the gym. Like Anita18.

 

[SuperMike335!!]

Well, if you're talking about runway models, most of them look close to starvation with bones sticking out everywhere. I'm 5'4"-5'5" and 110 lbs (so teetering between underweight and normal), and I'd be considered "chunky" in the legs if I were to model. My arms and chest make me look runway-model-skinny, though. Damn skinny sticks!

5'8" and 146 lbs would probably be "too fat" for runway, but perfect for fitness.

That's about the size range of most women I've dated, and close to my current wife. Girls with that shape tend to appreciate a rough guy.

I've been with smaller women, but I always feel like they are about to break.

I've been with a girl who was taller than me, she was 6'2" and about 180-190 (healthy for her height), and she was VERY rough! I'm pretty heavy but she was STRONG,crazy, and aggressive. She was fantastic. Sadly she was a student and had to go home. Would have like to see where things went there.

 

[Anita18]

Don't sell yourself short.

Talk to them anyway, that is if you like the idea of going to the gym too and having a guy who also serves as a private personal trainer.

Some of the biggest comic book geeks as kids these days also hit the gym. Like Anita18.

Yeah, but I wouldn't put it on my online dating profile as an "interest." Like, I'm interested it just enough to ensure I'm doing things right, so I don't dislocate anything. Anyone who puts "going to the gym" as an interest is probably into it waaay more than I am. And I don't really understand the more obsessive mindset.

That's about the size range of most women I've dated, and close to my current wife. Girls with that shape tend to appreciate a rough guy.

I've been with smaller women, but I always feel like they are about to break.

I was knitting with size 3 needles (which is 2x the size of a toothpick, fairly small), for the first time after I started weightlifting, and I felt like I was going to snap them in half the whole time.

And then I wondered if that's what guys think having sex with a runway model would feel like.

 

[the last son]

Just got into an argument with a friend who says it would be tacky and cheap to use a coupon on the first date. I replied if she can't handle that than so be it. I see nothing wrong with a coupon it would be dumb not to use it. He says it's not about us being a match if she can't handle it but it's rude. I said it's not rude I just don't see why you would not. She should just be happy someone is taking her out. The argument was just a hypothetical. But if I had to use it I would not be shy about it either try to slip but just show the waiter in front of everyone. So be it. Am I wrong here? Well I don't know why I'm asking my mind is made up. The better question is does anyone agree?

 

[SuperMike335!!]

Just got into an argument with a friend who says it would be tacky and cheap to use a coupon on the first date. I replied if she can't handle that than so be it. I see nothing wrong with a coupon it would be dumb not to use it. He says it's not about us being a match if she can't handle it but it's rude. I said it's not rude I just don't see why you would not. She should just be happy someone is taking her out. The argument was just a hypothetical. But if I had to use it I would not be shy about it either try to slip but just show the waiter in front of everyone. So be it. Am I wrong here? Well I don't know why I'm asking my mind is made up. The better question is does anyone agree?

If you're pulling out the coupon on the first date it means you're paying for stuff on the first date.

Don't do that. That's like buying a girl drinks hoping she will go home with you.

 

[the last son]

I wasn't going to pay for the full thing. Not on a first date. Don't even know if we will mesh. But on a first date if you did happen to pay full that's not like buying drinks. Buying drinks is a 10% chance she'll sleep with you. First date I could understand more of a man paying for. She already showed some interest. It's more like 30% so you're odds are better.

 

[hopefuldreamer]

Stones. :snicker: English people.

Don't sell yourself short.

Talk to them anyway, that is if you like the idea of going to the gym too and having a guy who also serves as a private personal trainer.

Some of the biggest comic book geeks as kids these days also hit the gym. Like Anita18.

I'm not selling myself short. It's the opposite. I don't wanna date anyone who thinks I need improving that much.

I'm never going to be/never really want to be a gym bodied girl.

I would like to try and eat better (which will become easier when I find a new flat and actually have a kitchen) and spend a couple of hours a week at the gym just getting my heart rate up every once in a while.

But I don't wanna have it become that big a part of my life. It'll never be one of my 'interests'. And TBH, I just find all that kind of stuff really boring.

Give me a guy who wants to spend all evening talking about movies anyday over a guy who has perfect gym pecs and is mentally circling my 'problem zones' with his eyes.

Just got into an argument with a friend who says it would be tacky and cheap to use a coupon on the first date. I replied if she can't handle that than so be it. I see nothing wrong with a coupon it would be dumb not to use it. He says it's not about us being a match if she can't handle it but it's rude. I said it's not rude I just don't see why you would not. She should just be happy someone is taking her out. The argument was just a hypothetical. But if I had to use it I would not be shy about it either try to slip but just show the waiter in front of everyone. So be it. Am I wrong here? Well I don't know why I'm asking my mind is made up. The better question is does anyone agree?

I agree with your friend, sorry. It's a bit tacky.

 

[RetrogradeOrbit]

So you're 5'5?

Yep, just about...

 

[RetrogradeOrbit]

I'm not selling myself short. It's the opposite. I don't wanna date anyone who thinks I need improving that much.

I'm never going to be/never really want to be a gym bodied girl.

I would like to try and eat better (which will become easier when I find a new flat and actually have a kitchen) and spend a couple of hours a week at the gym just getting my heart rate up every once in a while.

But I don't wanna have it become that big a part of my life. It'll never be one of my 'interests'. And TBH, I just find all that kind of stuff really boring.

Give me a guy who wants to spend all evening talking about movies anyday over a guy who has perfect gym pecs and is mentally circling my 'problem zones' with his eyes.

My fitness is a big part of my life, but I don't go on about it to any of my friends or family, unless they query me about it. And I never, never would say to someone that they should get off of their arse and hit the gym. Although I do give my daughter some of my sage wisdom(!) from time to time because I am worried about her long term health.

I'm much happier banging on about movies, superheroes and sci-fi...
Which tends to p**s off most of my family as they do not share my interests... ho hum.

 

[Anita18]

Just got into an argument with a friend who says it would be tacky and cheap to use a coupon on the first date. I replied if she can't handle that than so be it. I see nothing wrong with a coupon it would be dumb not to use it. He says it's not about us being a match if she can't handle it but it's rude. I said it's not rude I just don't see why you would not. She should just be happy someone is taking her out. The argument was just a hypothetical. But if I had to use it I would not be shy about it either try to slip but just show the waiter in front of everyone. So be it. Am I wrong here? Well I don't know why I'm asking my mind is made up. The better question is does anyone agree?

It's not wrong, nor does it necessarily signal than you're cheap. (Well, to some folks it might.) But for me, when you use a coupon at a restaurant, it's kind of a hassle. You have to remember to pull it out at the right time, to read the fine print, to bother the waiter about it. And then they might not accept the coupon, and then you're going to have to haggle in front of your date, etc etc.

It means there's another thing on your mind other than your date, or other things that are happening that isn't about the two of you. The distraction potential is what's worrisome.

When you're comfortable with each other, that's the time to try new restaurants using Groupons. Then you can roll with the punches and not worry about any potential hassles.

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

Just got into an argument with a friend who says it would be tacky and cheap to use a coupon on the first date. I replied if she can't handle that than so be it. I see nothing wrong with a coupon it would be dumb not to use it. He says it's not about us being a match if she can't handle it but it's rude. I said it's not rude I just don't see why you would not. She should just be happy someone is taking her out. The argument was just a hypothetical. But if I had to use it I would not be shy about it either try to slip but just show the waiter in front of everyone. So be it. Am I wrong here? Well I don't know why I'm asking my mind is made up. The better question is does anyone agree?

I have no problem with using coupons on the first date.

One tip with coupons though: Go away from the table, and ask to use the server to use the coupon. DO NOT do this in front of her. That's absolutely tacky.

 

[Erzengel]

Well, nicer restaurants aren't going to have coupons.

"Dinner was going great until he started arguing with the server about the coupon." like Anita was point to.

1st and 2nd dates are like auditions and you do want to put your best foot forward. I'm sure some people would argue that using coupons make you look frugal. And I'm sure there are tons of people who wouldn't care but it's not like your friend said about being rude, it's like OP saying that busting out a coupon on the first date in front of your date is tacky.

 

[hopefuldreamer]

I have no problem with using coupons on the first date.

One tip with coupons though: Go away from the table, and ask to use the server to use the coupon. DO NOT do this in front of her. That's absolutely tacky.

Shouldn't start a relationship by hiding things from her

If you really wanna use it, make it a joke. Just say 'now, I'm not being cheap but I do have this coupon'... I'd laugh if a guy did that.