Raiders of the Official Relationship Thread

[munchie64]

I haven't really had the problem since high school. Since then, I've only been attracted to folks who I knew I was compatible with... until now. I hate how dumb love is.

Well, I am still in high school so I guess it's ok

 

[SpideyVille]

I don't really get my friend. I messaged her a couple of times before and after New Year's, but she never replied. Then she calls me a couple of days ago saying she missed me and wanted to know when and where I was going to do my next painting so she could work around me. I told her I would be working on it my house and she said she'd come over yesterday, but then I never heard from her.

I can't make calls or text on my phone, so I asked her what happened online, but she never replied. Now I just got a text from her at 4am asking if I wanted to go ice skating on Tuesday. I'll go but I don't even know if its worth making plans because I never hear from her and I hate getting ready and waiting for someone who never shows up.

 

[hopefuldreamer]

It always baffles me when fat people get offended about people saying **** about fat people. Racism, sexism, THOSE are the kinds of things you can get offended about. But you being lazy and not caring enough about yourself to take care of yourself does not give you the privilege to get offended. One time, a friend and I were standing in line to get some food after the bars closed one night and I was saying something along the lines of, "Yeah man, blond, brunette, redhead, black, Asian, white, hispanic, I don't discriminate, I like em all."
These two girls who were standing in front of us (one fat and one just really ugly) turn around and the ugly one says, "Well that's cool. Although I'm sure you discriminate against size, don't you?"
I replied, "Of course I do. You can't expect me to love you if you don't even love yourself."

Do you understand that being fat or thin is in no way as simple as just 'she eats a lot of pies and she doesn't?'

I have 4 or 5 female friends who can eat whatever the hell they like and never put on weight. My housemate at uni used to drink a 2 litre bottle of coke every day and went to mcdonalds 3 times a week... and she was stick thin.

It's all the metabolism of the indiviual, or how your body processes your food. I don't fully understand it, but I know for a fact that it is harder for some people to stay in shape than others.

Some girls have a small frame and therefore just don't look as 'big', and some look like a giant because of their large bone structure. And hey, some people have actual medical conditions that effect how big they are, or how much they crave food.

I am of a pretty average size I guess. I'm not skinny, I have 'wobbly' bits and i'm quite tall and broad shouldered. And I do sometimes get self conscious about that fact, BECAUSE I am around so many girls who are absolutely tiny. I mean, I tower over them.

I've been called fat before in school, or made to feel self conscious about my size. I seriously was NOT fat in school, though I wouldn't believe it at the time. I look back now at pics of me in a bikini with a flat stomach and long legs and wonder how the hell I ever let them make me think that.

But I did. Because although I was completely in proportion, I looked big next to the other girls.

Now I don't know what you classify as 'fat'. That's the danger in the word.

All I know, is that if you say 'I wouldn't date a fat girl' then I assume your talking about me. That's just the way a girls brain works if she has any inkling of feeling 'fat'.

 

[SuperMike335!!]

Welllllll, Dr. Super Mike...

I'm over 25.
I'm bald-ish
Heavy set, but I'm relatively toned when it comes to musculature.
Voice definitely isn't high.

and did I mention I was a Black guy from the city living in a predominantly White and Hispanic mountain town?

Yeeeeaaahhh...Let's think about this...

Well, it helps rule some things out. If you have male pattern baldness, a manly voice, and are muscular that rules out low testosterone, that is something to feel good about.

Did changing where you live hurt your self esteem?

 

[AndThePickles]

Do you understand that being fat or thin is in no way as simple as just 'she eats a lot of pies and she doesn't?'

I have 4 or 5 female friends who can eat whatever the hell they like and never put on weight. My housemate at uni used to drink a 2 litre bottle of coke every day and went to mcdonalds 3 times a week... and she was stick thin.

It's all the metabolism of the indiviual, or how your body processes your food. I don't fully understand it, but I know for a fact that it is harder for some people to stay in shape than others.

Some girls have a small frame and therefore just don't look as 'big', and some look like a giant because of their large bone structure. And hey, some people have actual medical conditions that effect how big they are, or how much they crave food.

I am of a pretty average size I guess. I'm not skinny, I have 'wobbly' bits and i'm quite tall and broad shouldered. And I do sometimes get self conscious about that fact, BECAUSE I am around so many girls who are absolutely tiny. I mean, I tower over them.

I've been called fat before in school, or made to feel self conscious about my size. I seriously was NOT fat in school, though I wouldn't believe it at the time. I look back now at pics of me in a bikini with a flat stomach and long legs and wonder how the hell I ever let them make me think that.

But I did. Because although I was completely in proportion, I looked big next to the other girls.

Now I don't know what you classify as 'fat'. That's the danger in the word.

All I know, is that if you say 'I wouldn't date a fat girl' then I assume your talking about me. That's just the way a girls brain works if she has any inkling of feeling 'fat'.

I can't speak for Willard, but I would hope he isn't referring to girls who just have a bit of extra weight. Although yes, some people do have medical conditions, there are also many people who make the choice every day to eat horribly and not exercise.

It takes work to get in shape and stay in shape. I'm really tall, so I know what you mean about "towering" over tiny girls. And I have to be careful, because even though I've always been thin, any extra weight would automatically make me look huge due to my height. I don't recall seeing a full body shot of you, but I don't remember you being fat. Don't let short petite people make you feel big, because there is physically no way that you or I will ever be that small due to being tall. Your friends who can eat whatever they want and stay the same - trust me, it will not be that way forever. With age comes slowed metabolism. They'll not only gain weight, but have other health issues potentially, as well. And you don't have to be fat to have high cholesterol, etc.

I wouldn't date a fat guy. When I say that, it's in reference to a person who has more than a lil pudge. And a lot of that has to do with his lifestyle choices - I want to be with someone who cares about themselves and their health. There is also the physical attraction issue.

I'm not perfect, I'll have unhealthy food on occasion and I don't exercise as much as I should, but I do make an effort to stay thin. For example, yesterday when my office ordered lunch and most got fried food, I had a salad. Did it suck to smell the food I'd rather be eating? Hell yeah, but I knew I'd end up eating junk food on the weekend, so I try my best to stick to healthy choices during the week.

 

[SuperMike335!!]

I am real up or down with the confidence to ask out girls.

There are times when I totally have the confidence, and I just do it, and I don't really worry about the outcome, and then there are other times where I just can't bring myself to do it, and I lock up, and even if I do ask her out, it's usually done fairly awkwardly with no projection of confidence.

The girl from the New Year's Party, I just saw her at work the day before New Year's Eve, and as she was leaving, just asked her what she was getting into for New Year's, and told her I had a party going on that she should come out to.

Before the semester ended, there was a girl that I had done a production with that I was attracted to and wanted to take out, so I asked her about her plans for Christmas Break, and told her that we should get together after her and I both get back into town. Unfortunately, her answer was "Well I'm probably going to be busy", but hey.

And then there's times where I literally turn into the "Hey um... I was thinking... um... would you... I don't know... would you like to go out sometime? I mean... it's cool if you don't... but I mean... if you're not doing anything, or whatever..."

Although I do have one question when it comes to asking a woman out... What's everyone's take on "giving her an out"?

I've had certain people tell me in the past that they think it's best to give the girl an out when asking her out, so she doesn't feel pressure or whatever. With a "it's cool if not" type deal.

I say give her an out physically. Don't ever block her path or corner her. It comes off as creepy.

As far as verbal, saying something like "its cool if not", sounds like a lack of confidence.

Often gettting the numbers really looks a lot like sales. I have not seen anyone in sales ever do that, they alsways come from a "assume the answer is yes" attitude.

Some will come out and just give you the number because she is really excited that you have shown some interest in a way that comes off as easy going and confident.

One other important thing is for guys to not get discouraged. If you strike out its ok. Its numbers thing after all. I would say I only got 1/5th of the numbers I went for, which means more often then not I struck out, I just kept at it, and went somewhere else and flirted with someone else. If you only get 2 numbers from 10 girls you still got two new numbers. If you talk to just one new girl each day you have 6 new numbers a month.

If she needs an out "I have a boyfriend/fiance, husband" may come out, sometimes they will lie, and this may even be a persistence test you too.

If she seems really interested but says she has a BF, I would say something on the lines of "You have a BF. Well, if you want to keep your options open, anything can happen in the next couple months. Tell you what, give me the number, and I PROMISE I will wait 2 months before I text you, if your still in a relationship, I'll delete the number "

You will not get all of those numbers, off of the BF persistence test as many of them really do have boyfriends, but you may get some that way, and a few may even admit, "ok, I was making it up, I am nervous hehe, you don't give up easy do you? ok here ###-###-####"

The above does not happen often, and most of the numbers I did get there was little hesitation, but sometimes persistence pays off, and its better than zero%.

 

[SuperSoldier985]

It always baffles me when fat people get offended about people saying **** about fat people. Racism, sexism, THOSE are the kinds of things you can get offended about. But you being lazy and not caring enough about yourself to take care of yourself does not give you the privilege to get offended. One time, a friend and I were standing in line to get some food after the bars closed one night and I was saying something along the lines of, "Yeah man, blond, brunette, redhead, black, Asian, white, hispanic, I don't discriminate, I like em all."
These two girls who were standing in front of us (one fat and one just really ugly) turn around and the ugly one says, "Well that's cool. Although I'm sure you discriminate against size, don't you?"
I replied, "Of course I do. You can't expect me to love you if you don't even love yourself."

My propositions are always serious.

I still think you're a jerk to feel that you can still get away with criticizing a person's weaknesses or physical condition like that. It doesn't help you or the other person.

 

[SuperSoldier985]

Did changing where you live hurt your self esteem?

Heh, hurting whatever little self esteem I had before? Sure..

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

Giving her an out means giving her the ability to excuse herself. Such as "what're doing this week, want to hang out?" The second part of that question is dependent on the first. So she'll either have to make an excuse and it gives her the option to reschedule. "This weekend isn't good but..."

Don't ever make it sound like you're "cool" with a no. You almost have to believe a firm no is a mistake on their part.

 

[SuperMike335!!]

I am of a pretty average size I guess. I'm not skinny, I have 'wobbly' bits and i'm quite tall and broad shouldered

I'm really tall, so I know what you mean about "towering" over tiny girls

Yes, obviously most guys seem to prefer more petite size women. Don’t be discouraged however. Plenty of guys have found a good reason to prefer the sturdy girls. They find they tend to be better lovers. Some guys have found out there are benefits to sturdier girl. I mean by that a taller woman with a thicker bone frame.

By that I am not talking about obesity either, there is a big difference with a girl being at the upper end of her healthy BMI limit vs. being over the limit into the realm of unhealthy. Unhealthy is never attractive, but if she is still in the healthy range she is good to go.

There are some negatives to the petite size girls, and bonuses to the bigger ones. Silver lining one could say.

While the petite woman is the modern symbol of the feminine archetype, they are more often, not as good in bed. Simple physics. Its quite easy to get too rough with a petite woman, I have to be careful not to "break" her. The smaller cave can even leave bruises on your bear, he wont be sore right away, but will be very sore later. I found I have to be overly careful, cannot thrust too hard, cannot grab too hard its all too easy to hurt her back, arm, leg, etc... and they will cry if you do.

The sturdy girl, the "amazon" as some call her, can take the pounding of a water buffalo in rut. The amazon seems to have a true appreciation and enthusiasm for roughness, and there is no fear of accidentally breaking her either. I call that her being better in bed, at least from my own Brute point of view.

 

[SuperMike335!!]

I don't really get my friend. I messaged her a couple of times before and after New Year's, but she never replied. Then she calls me a couple of days ago saying she missed me and wanted to know when and where I was going to do my next painting so she could work around me. I told her I would be working on it my house and she said she'd come over yesterday, but then I never heard from her.

I can't make calls or text on my phone, so I asked her what happened online, but she never replied. Now I just got a text from her at 4am asking if I wanted to go ice skating on Tuesday. I'll go but I don't even know if its worth making plans because I never hear from her and I hate getting ready and waiting for someone who never shows up.

Hey, you don't have to take my advice. Keep that in mind, its just what "I the badguybrutewomanizerevildouchbagplayer" would do.

I would agree to it, then flake on her.

I would send her a text, 5 minutes after I was supposed to be there saying that a friend of mine was going to be in town and I had double booked myself - another time I guess.

If I never heard form her again, I'd care less. If I did, I would make her meet at my house on my terms.

 

[hopefuldreamer]

I can't speak for Willard, but I would hope he isn't referring to girls who just have a bit of extra weight. Although yes, some people do have medical conditions, there are also many people who make the choice every day to eat horribly and not exercise.

It takes work to get in shape and stay in shape. I'm really tall, so I know what you mean about "towering" over tiny girls. And I have to be careful, because even though I've always been thin, any extra weight would automatically make me look huge due to my height. I don't recall seeing a full body shot of you, but I don't remember you being fat. Don't let short petite people make you feel big, because there is physically no way that you or I will ever be that small due to being tall.

I wouldn't usually do this, but for the sake of this point, which I think is one of the reasons that I and other people in my position don't perhaps land as many guys, i'm going to.

I am 5'10, and last time I weighed in I was 13st11. I wear a UK size 14-16 trousers.

When I was at university, I was the same height, but about 12st6.

If I said to a guy like WillardNation - 'Would you date a girl who was nearly 14 stone?' what do you think his answer would be?

Society tells me i'm fat. The majority of men out there, will only call a girl 'hot' if she's slim. And if i'm completely honest it is my biggest confidence issue. I ALWAYS feel like the fat girl, because in all honestly i'm usually the biggest girl in the group/room. And even if I stand by to a guy who is slim, I feel fat next to him.

Here is the comparison of me then and now (don't have a lot of full body shots, and i've picked the same top for consistency).

I know I don't look FAT.

But do you get what i'm saying about how a man saying he doesn't like fat women, would never look twice at a fat woman, etc etc, effects a girl who is classed by society as overweight?

 

[OctaviusINC]

Hey, here's an awkward situation!

I'm not in dire need of advice or anything but this situation made me feel uncomfortable and a bit angry. I was just looking for some views on it.

So my girlfriend and I have been dating for about 4 months now. She's great. Everything is awesome. She's 20 and lives with mother and brother. I'm 23. I go to their place on Christmas night because her brother is inviting over a bunch of his friends for a game/drinking night. We both don't really drink but just wanted to be together. Her brother is 28 and his friends are around that give or take a year or 2.

My girlfriend is the baby of the family. She's always told me how her brother and his friends would always "look out" for her. Which I immediately thought was BS since her brother's friends were basically hitting on her 15 minutes into the night.

Everybody was getting drunk and since we didn't drink a thing she just asked if I want to go to her room and watch some TV. I agreed. We're not party people. So we just layed in bed and watched Netflix on her laptop. She told me that one of her brother's childhood friends (we'll call him Bill) doesn't like that I spend the night with her. I basically said I really don't care what Bill thinks. And Bill should mind his own damn business. In a nice way of course.

Later in the night one of her brother's "friends" hits on her when she's on her way to the bathroom to take out her contacts. I just take a step back and listen. I find the situation amusing. He's, like, 9 years older than her and drunk.

So I'm already disliking her brother's friends. But out of respect to her brother, who is a nice guy and likes me a lot, I don't say anything.

So we go to sleep. A couple hours pass. It's around 4 am. Everybody's spending the night because they're all drunk. We're upstairs in her room with the door closed. Suddenly the door slowly creaks open and Bill is standing there (obviously intoxicated). He takes a step into the room and I pop up and give him the dirtiest look I think I gave anyone in my life. He closes the door and leaves. Oh, and let me mention Bill's girlfriend was with him that night mind you. And she was sleeping downstairs.

I go back to sleep, albeit a bit angry, and there's no more problems.

My big question is, what did that ******* think he was doing?

He's a childhood friend. He's been to that house hundreds of times. He knows where the bathroom is. I don't believe there was some sort of mistaking them.

What really bugs me is what would've happened if I wasn't there? What was that guy going to do?

You're 29 years old and your girlfriend is downstairs. Why are you walking into my girlfriends bedroom at 4am?

I highly doubt you're going to tuck her in and wish her a Merry Christmas and tell me to mind my manners. What the hell is your intentions?

I'm a guy. I know how we work. Guys rarely "look out" for girls who are not their sister. There's usually something behind it. There's always attraction.

The whole situation kind of angers me. I haven't told her though.

Girls always do the, "Oh isn't he sweet? He's looking out for me."

Nope. Probably a creep.

And if you haven't made out already, yeah, I'm apparently the jealous type.

 

[AndThePickles]

I wouldn't usually do this, but for the sake of this point, which I think is one of the reasons that I and other people in my position don't perhaps land as many guys, i'm going to.

I am 5'10, and last time I weighed in I was 13st11. I wear a UK size 14-16 trousers.

When I was at university, I was the same height, but about 12st6.

If I said to a guy like WillardNation - 'Would you date a girl who was nearly 14 stone?' what do you think his answer would be?

Society tells me i'm fat. The majority of men out there, will only call a girl 'hot' if she's slim. And if i'm completely honest it is my biggest confidence issue. I ALWAYS feel like the fat girl, because in all honestly i'm usually the biggest girl in the group/room. And even if I stand by to a guy who is slim, I feel fat next to him.

Here is the comparison of me then and now (don't have a lot of full body shots, and i've picked the same top for consistency).

I know I don't look FAT.

But do you get what i'm saying about how a man saying he doesn't like fat women, would never look twice at a fat woman, etc etc, effects a girl who is classed by society as overweight?

I definitely get what you're saying, but unfortunately, everyone has a right to their personal preferences. Some guys can have a rude way of stating those preferences, but then, why would you want to be around a rude person, anyways?

I have no idea what 14 stone is lol. But you definitely don't look fat to me! Society's definition of overweight depends on where you live and even who you're talking to. What's important is to stay confident and happy with yourself - don't allow others to define you. I also think that if you're unhappy with you're body, it WILL make you feel better about yourself if you start working out regularly or taking a fun dance class, etc. It gives you a sense of control over yourself.

Also, I'm not sure what it's like where you live, but I know a lot of men who do NOT like really skinny girls. They want a woman with curves. Try not to compare yourself to your friends, because that makes it easy to find things you don't like about yourself.

 

[AndThePickles]

Yes, obviously most guys seem to prefer more petite size women. Don’t be discouraged however. Plenty of guys have found a good reason to prefer the sturdy girls. They find they tend to be better lovers. Some guys have found out there are benefits to sturdier girl. I mean by that a taller woman with a thicker bone frame.

By that I am not talking about obesity either, there is a big difference with a girl being at the upper end of her healthy BMI limit vs. being over the limit into the realm of unhealthy. Unhealthy is never attractive, but if she is still in the healthy range she is good to go.

There are some negatives to the petite size girls, and bonuses to the bigger ones. Silver lining one could say.

While the petite woman is the modern symbol of the feminine archetype, they are more often, not as good in bed. Simple physics. Its quite easy to get too rough with a petite woman, I have to be careful not to "break" her. The smaller cave can even leave bruises on your bear, he wont be sore right away, but will be very sore later. I found I have to be overly careful, cannot thrust too hard, cannot grab too hard its all too easy to hurt her back, arm, leg, etc... and they will cry if you do.

The sturdy girl, the "amazon" as some call her, can take the pounding of a water buffalo in rut. The amazon seems to have a true appreciation and enthusiasm for roughness, and there is no fear of accidentally breaking her either. I call that her being better in bed, at least from my own Brute point of view.

"the pounding of a water buffalo in a rut" holy ****, man. I hope you don't tell the "Amazon women" that you're sleeping with about this.

I don't look particularly "sturdy" lol. I'm 5'9" but I have a small bone structure. I have zero problems attracting men, and if a guy who prefers a short girl comes along, there's plenty of other guys who like tall women (I say this as a general statement - I'm in a serious relationship and don't need a date).

I do think that if you're a tall woman, you MUST be confident. That's what makes someone model-esque height as opposed to awkwardly tall. I used to feel very uncomfortable about my height in high school, and also had horrible self confidence. When I graduated, my height didn't change, but my confidence did. From that point onward, I had plenty of men interested in me. Confidence is the key! It's all about how you carry yourself.

 

[Erzengel]

Don't worry ATP, I'm sure some day, some where you'll find someone to lower their standards and try and date a sturdy girl such as yourself. Just remember, don't be so picky.

 

[AndThePickles]

Don't worry ATP, I'm sure some day, some where you'll find someone to lower their standards and try and date a sturdy girl such as yourself. Just remember, don't be so picky.

If I'm lucky, they might even call me an Amazon while they lower themselves enough to smang me. One day my prince will come

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

I definitely get what you're saying, but unfortunately, everyone has a right to their personal preferences. Some guys can have a rude way of stating those preferences, but then, why would you want to be around a rude person, anyways?

I have no idea what 14 stone is lol. But you definitely don't look fat to me! Society's definition of overweight depends on where you live and even who you're talking to. What's important is to stay confident and happy with yourself - don't allow others to define you. I also think that if you're unhappy with you're body, it WILL make you feel better about yourself if you start working out regularly or taking a fun dance class, etc. It gives you a sense of control over yourself.

Also, I'm not sure what it's like where you live, but I know a lot of men who do NOT like really skinny girls. They want a woman with curves. Try not to compare yourself to your friends, because that makes it easy to find things you don't like about yourself.

I definitely wouldn't call hopefulsuicide fat. While she's not the size I prefer I know many guys who like her look. In fact I'd say her type is the most sought after. Most guys aren't as into celebrity models as they'd have you believe. It's usually teens, adolescents, and sexually frustrated guys who have unrealistic expectations for women. All people who wouldn't have a lot of experience.

I would say I have high standards. I like skinny, petite frames, athletic or toned bodies, but there are a lot of misconceptions there. A lot of times the hottest chick you see has misshapen boobs or weird abs or skin problems. There are a lot of flaws women like that can and do hide.

"the pounding of a water buffalo in a rut" holy ****, man. I hope you don't tell the "Amazon women" that you're sleeping with about this.

I don't look particularly "sturdy" lol. I'm 5'9" but I have a small bone structure. I have zero problems attracting men, and if a guy who prefers a short girl comes along, there's plenty of other guys who like tall women (I say this as a general statement - I'm in a serious relationship and don't need a date).

I do think that if you're a tall woman, you MUST be confident. That's what makes someone model-esque height as opposed to awkwardly tall. I used to feel very uncomfortable about my height in high school, and also had horrible self confidence. When I graduated, my height didn't change, but my confidence did. From that point onward, I had plenty of men interested in me. Confidence is the key! It's all about how you carry yourself.

I think tall guys need to be confident too.

 

[SuperMike335!!]

"the pounding of a water buffalo in a rut" holy ****, man. I hope you don't tell the "Amazon women" that you're sleeping with about this.

I was not calling HER the water buffalo.

 

[AndThePickles]

I was not calling HER the water buffalo.

Haha, I see now, my bad. Still, what an analogy lol

 

[Anita18]

It takes work to get in shape and stay in shape. I'm really tall, so I know what you mean about "towering" over tiny girls. And I have to be careful, because even though I've always been thin, any extra weight would automatically make me look huge due to my height. I don't recall seeing a full body shot of you, but I don't remember you being fat. Don't let short petite people make you feel big, because there is physically no way that you or I will ever be that small due to being tall. Your friends who can eat whatever they want and stay the same - trust me, it will not be that way forever. With age comes slowed metabolism. They'll not only gain weight, but have other health issues potentially, as well. And you don't have to be fat to have high cholesterol, etc.

And even when you're blessed with bona fide skinny and great cholesterol genes that will last you your whole life (judging by how my parents look), you'll more than likely develop osteoporosis in your 50s. :

You never get something for nothing. You just have to work with what you have.

And yes, I've had women tell me they wish they were my size and it's like, "Um, look at my wrists." It's a very rare woman who possess such a tiny bone structure on a relatively tall girl. You see this kind of frame on a 5'0" woman, not one who's 5'5". And yet I still have a huge ribcage not typical of women with my frame. I like to call my body type a cockroach with a butt.

Most men would consider me too skinny. So you can never win, you know.

Hey, here's an awkward situation!

I'm not in dire need of advice or anything but this situation made me feel uncomfortable and a bit angry. I was just looking for some views on it.

So my girlfriend and I have been dating for about 4 months now. She's great. Everything is awesome. She's 20 and lives with mother and brother. I'm 23. I go to their place on Christmas night because her brother is inviting over a bunch of his friends for a game/drinking night. We both don't really drink but just wanted to be together. Her brother is 28 and his friends are around that give or take a year or 2.

My girlfriend is the baby of the family. She's always told me how her brother and his friends would always "look out" for her. Which I immediately thought was BS since her brother's friends were basically hitting on her 15 minutes into the night.

Everybody was getting drunk and since we didn't drink a thing she just asked if I want to go to her room and watch some TV. I agreed. We're not party people. So we just layed in bed and watched Netflix on her laptop. She told me that one of her brother's childhood friends (we'll call him Bill) doesn't like that I spend the night with her. I basically said I really don't care what Bill thinks. And Bill should mind his own damn business. In a nice way of course.

Later in the night one of her brother's "friends" hits on her when she's on her way to the bathroom to take out her contacts. I just take a step back and listen. I find the situation amusing. He's, like, 9 years older than her and drunk.

So I'm already disliking her brother's friends. But out of respect to her brother, who is a nice guy and likes me a lot, I don't say anything.

So we go to sleep. A couple hours pass. It's around 4 am. Everybody's spending the night because they're all drunk. We're upstairs in her room with the door closed. Suddenly the door slowly creaks open and Bill is standing there (obviously intoxicated). He takes a step into the room and I pop up and give him the dirtiest look I think I gave anyone in my life. He closes the door and leaves. Oh, and let me mention Bill's girlfriend was with him that night mind you. And she was sleeping downstairs.

I go back to sleep, albeit a bit angry, and there's no more problems.

My big question is, what did that ******* think he was doing?

He's a childhood friend. He's been to that house hundreds of times. He knows where the bathroom is. I don't believe there was some sort of mistaking them.

What really bugs me is what would've happened if I wasn't there? What was that guy going to do?

You're 29 years old and your girlfriend is downstairs. Why are you walking into my girlfriends bedroom at 4am?

I highly doubt you're going to tuck her in and wish her a Merry Christmas and tell me to mind my manners. What the hell is your intentions?

I'm a guy. I know how we work. Guys rarely "look out" for girls who are not their sister. There's usually something behind it. There's always attraction.

The whole situation kind of angers me. I haven't told her though.

Girls always do the, "Oh isn't he sweet? He's looking out for me."

Nope. Probably a creep.

And if you haven't made out already, yeah, I'm apparently the jealous type.

That's the clincher. He was drunk, and if they hit on your girlfriend while sober, you bet that'll be even worse when drunk. Not necessarily that he was coming in to rape her - I've had drunk guys stagger around and just say stupid, hilarious things to me. But the people I know, when they're drunk, they're silly, not violent.

You obviously know them better than we do though.

I wouldn't usually do this, but for the sake of this point, which I think is one of the reasons that I and other people in my position don't perhaps land as many guys, i'm going to.

I am 5'10, and last time I weighed in I was 13st11. I wear a UK size 14-16 trousers.

When I was at university, I was the same height, but about 12st6.

If I said to a guy like WillardNation - 'Would you date a girl who was nearly 14 stone?' what do you think his answer would be?

Society tells me i'm fat. The majority of men out there, will only call a girl 'hot' if she's slim. And if i'm completely honest it is my biggest confidence issue. I ALWAYS feel like the fat girl, because in all honestly i'm usually the biggest girl in the group/room. And even if I stand by to a guy who is slim, I feel fat next to him.

Here is the comparison of me then and now (don't have a lot of full body shots, and i've picked the same top for consistency).

I know I don't look FAT.

But do you get what i'm saying about how a man saying he doesn't like fat women, would never look twice at a fat woman, etc etc, effects a girl who is classed by society as overweight?

Also keep in mind that many guys don't know what the EFF they're talking about when they say they don't want a fat woman.

For a while in the TDKR boards (yeah I know) some guy was adamant that Anne Hathaway was a fat cow and posted a pic of his gf to show his ideal woman, which IIRC he said would not be over 110lbs. The gf looked no more than 5'3", and honest to golly if she was under 110lbs, I better check my scale again because I'm sure I'd only be in the double digits.

Guys DO NOT know what clothing sizes look like, nor weight. To be fair, even I don't know what clothing sizes look like anymore thanks to vanity sizing.

What counts is confidence, or for a more specific word, poise. I know bigger girls who get lots of attention from guys, and they have a lot more poise than I do. They're comfortable in their skin, the clothing and makeup they wear enhances what they have instead of trying to make them out to be someone they're not.

 

[SuperMike335!!]

Haha, I see now, my bad. Still, what an analogy lol

Its all good. Pictures make it more obvious, she sure is the Buffalo of the two of us

My fiance

Me:

 

[AndThePickles]

She is lovely

 

[Erzengel]

Yeah, and if it's the same guy. He's full of s'. Considering his photo bucket account only had one picture of his "girlfriend" and a few pics of himself.

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

It's the same house in both shots. I'm inclined to believe him. She is lovely. Cheers.