Raiders of the Official Relationship Thread

[Norman Osborn]

anita suggested Plenty of Fish so add that to your list

I Met my wife at POF.....we tell people we met at church though

 

[Boy Scout]

The longest journey begins with the first step.

Right now it seems you are in the phase of simply building your comfort with girls.

Keep doing what you are doing, and do not make any major mistakes that look creepy like calling a girl a whole lot, and don't ever follow one around like a puppy.

Not my style.

But go ahead and hang out with them, make eye contact, and interact. Building your comfort level you will enhance your confidence.

Most definitely.

The most important thing to remember is not to fear being shot down. If you get rejected do not take it as you being a failure, but a learning experience. Make a mental note of everything.

Yeah, that's how I'm going to look at it.

Don't be afraid of ending a conversation on your terms too. If you try to get a number, try get it within less than 2 minutes and have a reason to get going "I have to return some videotapes" is a good one, its silly, humor filled, and she may even giggle at the reference.

I don't think that would work. I think a better excuse would be that I have to go see one of my teachers for some make-up work.

The benefit of keeping initial contact short and sweet is you have less chance to make a fool of yourself by saying something dumb, and even better you also keep the allure of mystery vs. spilling your whole life story.

That'd probably work if we were talking in-between classes, but in an actual one-on-one conversation, I think the best thing to do would be to just let her do a lot of the talking.

Out of curiosity how old are you?

I'm 16. I don't know how old she is, but she's a senior. I'm a junior.

Is this a Highschool play, or college?

The play we saw was done by a professional theatre company. The play we're in is a high school play.

 

[Boy Scout]

Just make sure you don't talk her to death

I really only talked to her when it was time for me to talk. For example, the Twilight/horror movie conversation was sort of a mix of a debate and an actual conversation. I don't like Twilight, but she does, so we went back and forth a little bit about that. The horror movie part was her suggesting horror movies, telling me about some horror movies she saw as a kid, etc.

next time you see her try to say something like "what do you like to do/whatre ya doing this weekend? I'd like to hang out". Sounds to me like you're in like flint.

I hope so. She seems really nice and sweet.

And if it doesn't work out...hey. There are lots more fish in the sea.

 

[hopefuldreamer]

Sorry I guess.

That technique is actually so effective that it is standard repertoire of experiences PUA’s, possibly the number one most effective of techniques widely known and used with repeated success. I didn’t invent it, but I can vouch for its effectiveness.

Ideally with that technique the girl you first open to should be attractive enough to the point where you could be just as well be satisfied with her looks too, even if her friend is more attractive.

That way if the guy finds out that he actually has a common interest, or can impress him in conversation. He might completely direct his efforts toward her. At the end of the day a relationship is about real connection, not just looks.

Now Becky, as for my picking your name in the example, it was just an accident I assure you. I feel bad. Had I known it would anger you so, I would have used it for all my examples.

If the UK ever takes me off the "banned from entry" list, I’ll certainly make it up to.

Apology accepted

Why the hell you banned from the UK? We let anyone in!

Now this is a little more fun. Becky, you're the one in the middle. I can tell by the "I like to argue" expression on your face.

Hmmm.... The least attractive one?

Simple the girl next too you with too much light foundation on.

Actually she's the one I was talking about earlier in the thread when we were on the 'make-up doesn't make you more attractive discussion', who spent 2 hours putting make up and hair extensions in before going swimming and then refused to put her head under water...

And obviously, in this case, it makes her LESS attractive.

I'd try to parlay you all into my first reverse gang-bang......

Your the hottie in the middle I'm not calling any of your friends ugly though but the two on the left are less attractive IMO.

The one with the biggest boobs. Done and done.

Can I just have all 5 of you?

/internet creeper

Good looking group. I'm sure you get plenty attention on a night out.

Geez, how many people are going to quote her pic on the same page.

at all of you!

Though i'll say this - what that picture doesn't show is the sheer size difference between me and all of them. Genuinely, they are all petit/slim and still have good boobs.

I on the other hand, have a beer belly and 'child bearing' hips So I was always self conscious around them.

Never stopped me pulling on a night out though

I Met my wife at POF.....we tell people we met at church though

I've been on POF so long and I NEVER bother checking it anymore, just delete all the emails like they are junk... maybe I should start again!

 

[steintym]

TBS, you seem to be approaching this the right way. Good luck going forward.

 

[Norman Osborn]

I've been on POF so long and I NEVER bother checking it anymore, just delete all the emails like they are junk... maybe I should start again!

Funny thing is that although I met my wife there, I wouldn't recommend it highly......both my wife and I had real horror stories in our short time there!

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

Always put them on the spot a bit when you ask them out. Ask them "what're you doing this weekend? Do you want to hang out?" That way the question is about her not you. It'll put her on the spot a bit because she'll have to give you a no, but if she's interested it gives her the option to choose another time. "Well I'm busy this weekend, but later..." blah blah blah.

@Boy Scout

 

[SuperMike335!!]

Not my style.


Most definitely.

Yeah, that's how I'm going to look at it.

I don't think that would work. I think a better excuse would be that I have to go see one of my teachers for some make-up work.

That'd probably work if we were talking in-between classes, but in an actual one-on-one conversation, I think the best thing to do would be to just let her do a lot of the talking.

I'm 16. I don't know how old she is, but she's a senior. I'm a junior.

The play we saw was done by a professional theatre company. The play we're in is a high school play.

Oh heck, being you're 16 your already doing good just knowing you need to build your comfort level.

If she is going to be in a regular setting with you don't worry about making conversations less than 2 minutes, thats more for getting the phone number of a chick who is a perfect stranger.

Try to let her talk more than you, and don't seem overly interested.

One easy thing to keep in mind that I wish I knew when I was 16, and that is to slow down. Often guys with less experience talk really fast, by simply slowing down your words, and even pausing before you respond you will already seem more calm, and it will calm yourself too.

 

[bullets]

I Met my wife at POF.....we tell people we met at church though

A couple of us set up profiles last night for fun. I think its a good option to meet more people.I had a couple bad experiences on ok Cupid but it goes with the territory, whatever

 

[Norman Osborn]

A couple of us set up profiles last night for fun. I think its a good option to meet more people.

It's a free site hence it requires little commitment to set up a profile.....I think that likely helps to explain the ridiculous number of people there who are simply playing around.

 

[bullets]

It's a free site hence it requires little commitment to set up a profile.....I think that likely helps to explain the ridiculous number of people there who are simply playing around.

Yeah, I read fake profiles are a big issue. I would never fork over money to one of these sites. Also meeting someone in person is usually better because you can tell if there is chemistry. I'd much rather go out but the dating sites are helpful because I don't know many people in the area or have much free time.

 

[Boy Scout]

TBS, you seem to be approaching this the right way. Good luck going forward.

I appreciate it, dude.

Always put them on the spot a bit when you ask them out. Ask them "what're you doing this weekend? Do you want to hang out?" That way the question is about her not you. It'll put her on the spot a bit because she'll have to give you a no, but if she's interested it gives her the option to choose another time. "Well I'm busy this weekend, but later..." blah blah blah.

@Boy Scout

Oh, that's good. I'll definitely try that! t:

Oh heck, being you're 16 your already doing good just knowing you need to build your comfort level.

If she is going to be in a regular setting with you don't worry about making conversations less than 2 minutes, thats more for getting the phone number of a chick who is a perfect stranger.

Try to let her talk more than you, and don't seem overly interested.

Gotcha.

One easy thing to keep in mind that I wish I knew when I was 16, and that is to slow down. Often guys with less experience talk really fast, by simply slowing down your words, and even pausing before you respond you will already seem more calm, and it will calm yourself too.

Yeah, that's definitely something I need to work on. I did better than usual today, and I'll make a conscious effort to keep it up.

 

[SuperSoldier985]

I'm firing away on OkCupid.com right now...

Maybe someone will take pity on me and at least notice that I'm making good money.

 

[HisMagicTrick]

And THAT my friends is a perfect example of the strawman argument.

That's where you attack a point that nobody even made. Nowhere did I say I had an issue with lesbians, my POINT was the internal contradiction of feminism calling women who are sexually attracted to dominant men "gender traitors", when their mantra insists that women should be free to explore their sexuallity whatever it be. Do you see that contradiction?

You want to represent feminism then the first thing you say should not be re-enforcing negative views by resorting to ad-hominem and strawmen.

Sorry, I didn't mean to resort to the strawman argument. I just reread your original post and I had thought that you were stating your personal views. My apologies.

Educate me then, where does one draw the line between feminism and radical feminism? Is that line distinctly made cear for those who call themselves femisists or so vague that its easy to cross over?

Well, I haven't done a lot of reading on radical feminism except on what I learnt in my sociology class, but I'm pretty sure, as they have extreme views against any sort of patriarchal society, that they would, as you stated, deem a woman who fantasised about being dominated by a man as a 'gender traitor'. Whereas feminists wouldn't go to such extreme lengths as that and would understand it as fantasy.

At least, I think that's right anyway. Like I said, I'm going with (mainly) what I learnt in one of my classes at school.

 

[SuperSoldier985]

In fairness, I don't have a lot of ugly friends. They're pretty much all skinny and gorgeous. I live in their shadows

You can hit on me! I'm not ugly, but i'm not so hot you'd have to pretend I wasn't attractive to get me to like you...

This is getting complicated...

Ooooh, i've got a fun game - Which one of these girls would you call the 'ugo' one! (one of them is me )

Why is the one in the middle giving me the death stare?

 

[ComicChick]

follow up on my "fishing trip: hehe

had 3 messages and got 2 emails from the site saying users wanted to meet me.

not too shabby for one night, but none of their profiles caught my eye

 

[SpideyVille]

I haven't reached out to anyone on the sites (I set up a fake account on both okcupid and PoF). But I did see a few girls that I would be interested in based on their pics and some stuff I read on their profiles.

 

[Lasirius]

follow up on my "fishing trip: hehe

had 3 messages and got 2 emails from the site saying users wanted to meet me.

not too shabby for one night, but none of their profiles caught my eye

It's always better to converse with these people before you start thinking about meeting them in person, beware CC.

 

[bullets]

I checked out a profile and realized it was a girl I used to work with. Now she's going to see that , this should interesting. Also these damn assessment tests make me feel like I'm filling out a job application.

 

[SpideyVille]

Yeah I mentioned last night that I found the profile of a girl that's in the same play as me and the only reason I recognized her was because its the same pic as her facebook profile.

 

[bullets]

That will be kind of funny if she mentions it. At least she might have some interesting stories to share. Only downside is she knows your single and might become interested in you.

I had an awkward moment with OkCupid. I messaged a divorced woman and we started talking on IM , She started talking about religion and why her marriage failed. Anyway I said something about church and she took it offensively. I can't remember what it was but it seemed irrational for her to get upset over. So we stopped talking. A few weeks later I come around the corner of an aisle at Walmart and almost bump into her. We both looked at each other for a few seconds before realizing why we recognized each other. Then we both walked in opposite directions like nothing had happened.

 

[SpideyVille]

She wouldn't know me since I made a fake account with the name Howard the Duck.

And that sounds like something straight out of a sitcom. Awkward but hilarious.

 

[bullets]

haha , Well played SpideyVille

 

[Nell2ThaIzzay]

Geez, how many people are going to quote her pic on the same page.

This is an internet message board forum where an attractive woman posted a picture of herself in a thread for people who cant function around women in the real world.

And not just a picture of herself, but of 4 attractive friends as well.

Lets just count our blessings that the poor girl doesn't have an inbox full of creepy marriage proposal and sex requests, while the more extreme stalkers track her ip address.

 

[WillardNation]

In fairness, I don't have a lot of ugly friends. They're pretty much all skinny and gorgeous. I live in their shadows

You can hit on me! I'm not ugly, but i'm not so hot you'd have to pretend I wasn't attractive to get me to like you...

This is getting complicated...

Ooooh, i've got a fun game - Which one of these girls would you call the 'ugo' one! (one of them is me )

The two on either side of you and the one on the far left are not attractive at all, I would say. And the one on the far right (in the blue) I would probably consider to be fairly cute after a few drinks.