Raiders of the Official Relationship Thread

[SpideyVille]

Don't feel I don't get a first glance in real life.

I was just going to post the same thing.

 

[ComicChick]

i dont want to date a guy with the exact same likes as i do, itd be boring. there are some things that i really think we should have in common

for example
humor, i have to laugh and if you can't laugh with me, it wont last long

 

[SuperSoldier985]

I'm shocked by the number of vegans/vegetarians on OkCupid...

 

[SuperSoldier985]

i dont want to date a guy with the exact same likes as i do, itd be boring. there are some things that i really think we should have in common

for example
humor, i have to laugh and if you can't laugh with me, it wont last long

I don't think anyone could ever expect exactly the same interests....That'd be pretty strange when you think about it..

 

[twylight]

I was just going to post the same thing.

i dont want to date a guy with the exact same likes as i do, itd be boring. there are some things that i really think we should have in common

for example
humor, i have to laugh and if you can't laugh with me, it wont last long

We seriously had this discussion in the Skype text chat tonight. I totally agree! If a guy can't engage me in conversation, keep up with me and make me laugh then it's pretty much a no-go. There is one interest I insist on him having. Comics.

I've dated several guys in the geek/nerd spectrum and it's just SUCH a hindrance being with a guy where I have to explain everything when it comes to comics. If I say "So, they totally messed up Starfire." He better know what I'm talking about. I don't want to have to give the clifnotes version of Captain America so he can 'get' the finer points of the movie that excite me and make me wiggle around in the movie theatre. I shouldn't have to do that!

 

[ComicChick]

We seriously had this discussion in the Skype text chat tonight. I totally agree! If a guy can't engage me in conversation, keep up with me and make me laugh then it's pretty much a no-go. There is one interest I insist on him having. Comics.

I've dated several guys in the geek/nerd spectrum and it's just SUCH a hindrance being with a guy where I have to explain everything. If I say "So, they totally messed up Starfire." He better know what I'm talking about.

figures i'd miss a chat that i'd like to partake in.

im not sure if the comic thing is a must-have for me. no one knows i collect them as it is. i think a biggest must have would be to be a sports fan.

whether playing or watching them. not only that i do a lot of volunteer with the local little league, so thats of course sports related

 

[twylight]

I feel like it's sort of a weird thing to demand, but the last boyfriend was so comic stupid I literally wanted to hit him over the head with his PS3. HOW can anyone be that comic stupid. He couldn't keep up with me at all and it was frustrating! omg

 

[DoomsdayApex]

Oh I don't have time for that.

But it does point out a fact that women can sometimes be much more superficial than men..

It's a hilariously ironic twist of fate.

I never got noticed by the 'hot' girls in my high school, not once. Evidently, the moment I transform into a hulk and acquire the bad boy image -- I became smart, dark, mysterious, hot, etc. You know, the perfect guy.

 

[BobJM]

Oh women are absolutely more superficial than men. I've been going to the gym straight for about a month now, so I've lost weight and put on a little muscle.

And (not that I'm upset), I got the number of the girl working the counter at the theater when I went to see MI4 with my friends yesterday. I wasn't throwing any charm her way, just being my normal polite self, but I think it was just the fresh hair cut and loss of some lbs that caught her attention.

 

[SpideyVille]

I love listening to IGN's Knockin' Boots podcasts, and very often they get questions from people who are big video gamers and often wonder if they should wait for a gamer girl or if they should stop looking exclusively for one and settle for a girl who isn't into video games.

The advice given is pretty much the same that has been given here where yes there are things that would be great to have in common with a partner, but they should never feel like a necessity. Instead, just the face that they can tolerate the hobby is the most important thing to look for.Too many people pass on certain great people because they don't share an interest or are not as passionate about it as they are and that should never be the case. Sure its great to have things in common, but like Anita said, chemistry and personalities are what create strong relationship. Once you have that, everything else doesn't matter unless someone makes a big deal about how they want the other to be into the same things.

 

[Anubis]

I feel like it's sort of a weird thing to demand, but the last boyfriend was so comic stupid I literally wanted to hit him over the head with his PS3. HOW can anyone be that comic stupid. He couldn't keep up with me at all and it was frustrating! omg

I don't mind not knowing s**t, but I would like for them to be open to it. Like, I would love to be the one hooking them on these funny books I luff so much. If you ain't down with that, then you better be into horse play that's all I'm sayin'.

 

[ComicChick]

Oh women are absolutely more superficial than men. I've been going to the gym straight for about a month now, so I've lost weight and put on a little muscle.

And (not that I'm upset), I got the number of the girl working the counter at the theater when I went to see MI4 with my friends yesterday. I wasn't throwing any charm her way, just being my normal polite self, but I think it was just the fresh hair cut and loss of some lbs that caught her attention.

maybe it was the confidence?

 

[Anubis]

Likely, but if it makes him feel better to think she only wants him for his new found abs, go for it.

 

[BobJM]

maybe it was the confidence?

possibly, but i'm way too cynical to believe that.

regardless, it's only motivated me further to keep up a healthy regiment. people always bash on superficiality, but i think a bit of it helps us try and be the best we can be. when people resort to bullemia or other methods to achieve "beauty," then society as a whole has gone too far, granted. but little reassurances like my situation are beneficial, i believe.

 

[Anita18]

i dont want to date a guy with the exact same likes as i do, itd be boring. there are some things that i really think we should have in common

for example
humor, i have to laugh and if you can't laugh with me, it wont last long

It's funny how my parents' relationship came to mirror my own relationship with my bf. My mom and I are silly and happy-go-lucky, and my dad and my bf are normally quite serious, but then go off and do something inadvertently silly that makes us laugh. They usually don't go out of their way to be funny and cute, while we do. But they let us be our effortlessly silly selves and I suppose adding to it would just be kind of overkill of silly.

I've dated several guys in the geek/nerd spectrum and it's just SUCH a hindrance being with a guy where I have to explain everything when it comes to comics. If I say "So, they totally messed up Starfire." He better know what I'm talking about. I don't want to have to give the clifnotes version of Captain America so he can 'get' the finer points of the movie that excite me and make me wiggle around in the movie theatre. I shouldn't have to do that!

I've had to explain to my bf what's happening in SHHville in regards to TDKR, and I realize how silly it all sounds as I'm describing it. But that's why I have you guys to geek out to.

He's been pretty patient with it, although being more well-rounded in your life (ie, not fangirling on one single thing) isn't necessarily bad.

 

[BobJM]

Likely, but if it makes him feel better to think she only wants him for his new found abs, go for it.

lol no abs here, that'd be nice.

all i'm saying is, it was about a 2 minute encounter...hardly enough time to take into account personality, likes/dislikes, etc. i'm not pretending im a dreamboat haha my ego isn't that big, i'm just saying that in moments like that...guy or girl, superficiality plays a role.

in my case, it was coming from a girl.

 

[BobJM]

I feel like it's sort of a weird thing to demand, but the last boyfriend was so comic stupid I literally wanted to hit him over the head with his PS3. HOW can anyone be that comic stupid. He couldn't keep up with me at all and it was frustrating! omg

lol i can't imagine having a gf into comics as much as i am. that's why i have shh! so i can debate and then walk away when i'm pissed and losing an argument lol

 

[Anita18]

possibly, but i'm way too cynical to believe that.

regardless, it's only motivated me further to keep up a healthy regiment. people always bash on superficiality, but i think a bit of it helps us try and be the best we can be. when people resort to bullemia or other methods to achieve "beauty," then society as a whole has gone too far, granted. but little reassurances like my situation are beneficial, i believe.

It's a bit of both.

When you work out, your body sends out endorphins, making you feel good. So you're already feeling good and more confident even if you don't necessarily have 6-pack abs.

I mean, it isn't like working out has really shaped my body any (my body refuses to budge more than 10lbs in either direction), but I do get a little swagger in my walk after lifting some weights, because it makes me feel awesome.

 

[bullets]

And (not that I'm upset), I got the number of the girl working the counter at the theater when I went to see MI4 with my friends yesterday. I wasn't throwing any charm her way, just being my normal polite self, but I think it was just the fresh hair cut and loss of some lbs that caught her attention.

This is absolutely true. My weight has fluctuated the last few years and if I was chubby , barely anyone would pay much attention to me but when I lose it , sure enough they get friendlier.

I've dated several guys in the geek/nerd spectrum and it's just SUCH a hindrance being with a guy where I have to explain everything when it comes to comics. If I say "So, they totally messed up Starfire." He better know what I'm talking about. I don't want to have to give the cliff notes version of Captain America so he can 'get' the finer points of the movie that excite me and make me wiggle around in the movie theatre. I shouldn't have to do that!

I definitely want to meet someone with similar interests but not have them be exactly like me. It would be a godsend to find a girl who reads comics though. I did get a girl to read Watchmen but aside from watching comic based films there's not much luck in that department for me.

 

[Nell2ThaIzzay]

maybe it was the confidence?

I dont know if the whole confidence bit is quite what it's made out to be.

I've developed the absolute most confidence in myself that I've ever had in my life, and it hasn't even netted me so much as a date.

Im not saying im Dos Equis guy in the confidence department, and I still have my own insecurities I need to deal with, but by and large I am a happy person, with a direction and a plan, and I dont complain about how much this, that or the other thing sucks.

Im constantly told by people (including women) about how confidently I carry myself, how likable of a person I am, how fun I am to be around, i even have women semi regularly complimenting my style / fashion / appearance, but when it's time to try to get a date, its the same old song and dance. "oh... No... Sorry but no"

So im literally at a point in my life now where I am at a loss.

 

[hopefuldreamer]

There are different kinds of confidence.

I'm a confident, sometimes cocky, person. With my friends, if I meet people at bars - heck I'll start up random conversations with just about anyone.

And I'm confident in being 'right'. I will argue like crazy if someone is questioning something I'm 100% sure off or passionate about.

But when it comes to relationships, my confidence flops right out the window.

I usually always assume that people wouldn't want to go out with me. They might wanna kiss me, or go to bed with me, but why would they wanna go out with me? I'm not the kind of girl to be proud to wear on your arm. I'm a completely neurotic mess, my friends (not the uni girls in the pic ) are a bunch of druggies, I live in a bedsit with a single bed and the minute you know me, you know I'm a huge geek!

Plus I'm incredibly self conscious about my body image

But hey, that's something I'm going to be working on this year.

What I'm basically saying is that even confident people can lack the right KIND of confidence that gets them a girl/guy.

 

[Anita18]

I dont know if the whole confidence bit is quite what it's made out to be.

I've developed the absolute most confidence in myself that I've ever had in my life, and it hasn't even netted me so much as a date.

Im not saying im Dos Equis guy in the confidence department, and I still have my own insecurities I need to deal with, but by and large I am a happy person, with a direction and a plan, and I dont complain about how much this, that or the other thing sucks.

Im constantly told by people (including women) about how confidently I carry myself, how likable of a person I am, how fun I am to be around, i even have women semi regularly complimenting my style / fashion / appearance, but when it's time to try to get a date, its the same old song and dance. "oh... No... Sorry but no"

So im literally at a point in my life now where I am at a loss.

Some people also give off "friend-only" vibes for some reason. I know a couple of really hot guys who would have a girlfriend in a millisecond second if they knew how to ask...but no, no girlfriends that I know of.

I was always a guy's kind of girl. The girl who was totally down with dirty jokes and hanging out with the guys, but not one to date.

 

[hopefuldreamer]

Same, i'm was never good at being one of the girls till I lived with 4 of them in my second year at uni.

Before that, I was always hanging out with male friends, and I don't think they even considered me as a dating possibility.

Of course if someone had told me back when I was 14 that you don't have a burping competition with a guy your crushing on, and you most certainly don't BEAT him, I'd probably have gotten off to a better start

 

[Erzengel]

I dont know if the whole confidence bit is quite what it's made out to be.

I've developed the absolute most confidence in myself that I've ever had in my life, and it hasn't even netted me so much as a date.

Im not saying im Dos Equis guy in the confidence department, and I still have my own insecurities I need to deal with, but by and large I am a happy person, with a direction and a plan, and I dont complain about how much this, that or the other thing sucks.

Im constantly told by people (including women) about how confidently I carry myself, how likable of a person I am, how fun I am to be around, i even have women semi regularly complimenting my style / fashion / appearance, but when it's time to try to get a date, its the same old song and dance. "oh... No... Sorry but no"

So im literally at a point in my life now where I am at a loss.

I just always get a sense of a lack of assertiveness almost to the point of passiveness in the stories you tell though.

You can act confident, but you seem to still almost wait for the opportunities to come to you. Like a girl has to make the first move.

And I know you've asked people out and been turned down but that's a little bit different as you may not have put your best foot forward? Or like Anita said about a friendly vibe. Or you are already too chummy and already squashed any attraction vibe.

 

[SuperSoldier985]

I sometimes feel that I have every other trait that a woman would find unattractive. It really bugs me because most of these traits I can't really change. It's been a part of me for most of my life.