Revenge of the *Official* Relationship Advice Thread

[Thebumwhowalks]

But seriously, Bum, if you think you are the only who tells people exactly what they need to hear, then you haven't really been reading the threads that have come before it.

And to be honest, if people aren't commenting on this poster's posts maybe because people just ignore it now because they have been discussed ad nauseam.

No, I just meant in that one case, sure, someone said something to him the other week about needing to boost his confidence, but that is his only problem he needs to overcome, his lack of guts.
People are still giving this guy stacks of advice, but it doesn't matter if he gives in to fear everytime when it comes to crunch time.
That is what he needs to hear, maybe it will get him angry and make him do something about it if someone tells him that one basic fact of the matter.

 

[Erzengel]

There have been so many relationship threads because of Thread Manager. I should know, I renamed the last 5 of them. New posters will continue to give posters who repeat their problems new advice even if other posters tried to give them a verbal tongue lashing previously.

 

[Thebumwhowalks]

No, this regular has been getting advice from regulars, it's still happening.
I mean, this guy came in and said he had a date coming up, and asked for advice on what to do on a first date, so lots of people, myself included, came in with helpful advice.
But, then it turned out he had not even asked this girl out, in fact, she was not even aware of his existence, and he didn't have the guts to ask her out in the end, or even try to get to know her.

So, that to me, says that this guy likes the attention, likes to get everyone rallying around poor dateless him, and is doing nothing to remedy his actual problem, overcoming his fear, no-one else can do that for him, he needs no more advice, he knows what he has got to do, he just can't do it.
So, this is me, being a pr*** and telling him he is a gutless wonder, so he knows the score, and can maybe get angry enough to do something about it.

Cruel to be kind right?

 

[AndThePickles]

I joke about this thread but in the end, everyone is going to do what they feel comfortable with.

Most people here are looking for verification for already pre-made decisions, looking to vent, or just looking to contribute.

But seriously, Bum, if you think you are the only who tells people exactly what they need to hear, then you haven't really been reading the threads that have come before it.

And to be honest, if people aren't commenting on this poster's posts maybe because people just ignore it now because they have been discussed ad nauseam.

Yeah, I certainly choose to just ignore certain posts altogether. Don't even bother reading them to say something blunt lol

 

[Thebumwhowalks]

There was this woman who was the friend of a woman i was dating in the past, the friend of my ex would sometimes bolster my confidence. But, when i started dating another woman, after breaking up with her friend, she started calling me ugly, and things like that.
This woman is what you would call conventionally good looking, and that has been her main point of attack, what i look like, so i guess you can ascertain how far her own credibility goes when you take all of that into consideration.

I know she is reading this. haha

 

[Cuyan]

I just like helping.

 

[Thebumwhowalks]

I just like helping.

Get in line behind 'Phoneix Jones' for the shrink.

ie if you think giving that guy s.a.a.d a multi-quoted thorough replies was going to register with him whatsoever, you need to hang out here a bit longer.

 

[Anita18]

So, that to me, says that this guy likes the attention, likes to get everyone rallying around poor dateless him, and is doing nothing to remedy his actual problem, overcoming his fear, no-one else can do that for him, he needs no more advice, he knows what he has got to do, he just can't do it.

So, this is me, being a pr*** and telling him he is a gutless wonder, so he knows the score, and can maybe get angry enough to do something about it.

Cruel to be kind right?

He likes attention from us more than he'd like a girlfriend?

I just like helping.

Oh yeah, me too. It can be a weakness of mine. In HS I was friends with this girl mostly because I felt bad for her (I think she has an undiagnosed learning disability) and that she needed a little guidance. Fast forward 10 years, she's in the same exact place as back then, talking about her dreams (Movies! Acting! Visual media!) but doing nothing about them. Partly because her family wants her to do something else (yeah, Asian parents) but she refuses to do what they tell her so they kinda cancelled each other out - she's pretty much done nothing except watch Chinese movies and soap operas. She'll catch me on Facebook every few months and want to chat about the same exact things and I try to give her the same exact advice because...what else is there to do? It's just sad, since the last 10 years for her have been a total wash. I think her parents are aware that she's got some kind of learning disability so they're still taking care of her, but girl has still to get it into her head that she has to have realistic goals. Or if she has dreams, at least make SOME kind of move toward achieving them.

Though it was more painful when she was still trying to be in college. She'd ask me to edit essays for her and...her writing hasn't improved ever since I met her in the 8th grade. And it was pretty piss-poor to begin with.

Yeah I'm too damn nice.

 

[Cuyan]

ie if you think giving that guy s.a.a.d a multi-quoted thorough replies was going to register with him whatsoever, you need to hang out here a bit longer.

As soon as I am able to determine that a person does not want help, I step away. It's a sad thing to be in such denial, but whatchagonnado? There are others who want assistance.

 

[JJJ's Ulcer]

Tomorrow night, I'm going to try and get laid. It has been a while. Over two months now. Went through a bit of a funk and broke up with my rebound girlfriend (who was the rebound from my fiance). But I'm done moping. Lots of Halloween parties out there this weekend. I'm going to hit the clubs and if I don't have luck there, I'm going to text old hook-ups until one replies. I don't care. If I wait any longer I might as well move to a monastery.

 

[LOBO3315a]

2 months? Cool story bro.

Get back to me when you've reached the 6 month mark....

 

[Cuyan]

Are you trying to compete for who is most celibate?

 

[JJJ's Ulcer]

2 months? Cool story bro.

Get back to me when you've reached the 6 month mark....

Nope, I won't.

Last time I endured a 6 month dry-spell I think I was a freshman in college. Nobody should have to endure that torture. Girls want to get laid too, you just have to put yourself out there.

 

[steintym]

Yeah, two months? ... Wait til you get married Ha Ha

 

[JJJ's Ulcer]

Well, I was supposed to. But I'm not going to get into that again.

Yeah, marriage is a different kettle of fish. There's no way around that one, except maybe spicing stuff up by suggesting something *new* like handcuffs or roleplay. I dunno.

 

[Cuyan]

The "Sex Life falters after Marriage" is not the norm in 2011.

 

[Thebumwhowalks]

As soon as I am able to determine that a person does not want help, I step away. It's a sad thing to be in such denial, but whatchagonnado? There are others who want assistance.

eh, I was half-joking, my joke was that you were in denial about thinking you were saying anything that would actually translate into helping someone in the real world.
Just in case you didn't get the Phoenix Jones ref/joke.

 

[Anita18]

My bf knows what you mean. We're living 300 miles apart and he flies down to visit every 2 weeks because he can't wait any longer without any.

We did have a celibate period for a few months because I was really really sick recovering from the stomach flu. Unlike some people with weird fetishes, puking during the act is not very hot....

 

[Thebumwhowalks]

because I was really really sick recovering from the stomach flu.

Really really sorry to hear that.

 

[steintym]

I was kind of joking with the marriage comment ... kind of ...



t:

 

[Anita18]

Really really sorry to hear that.

Thanks. I'm mostly fine now. Still can't eat much dairy, or a lot of food at one time, but at least we can go out to eat now.

 

[Thebumwhowalks]

Yeah, I've heard that one before. haha.

 

[Cuyan]

eh, I was half-joking, my joke was that you were in denial about thinking you were saying anything that would actually translate into helping someone in the real world.
Just in case you didn't get the Phoenix Jones ref/joke.

It's ridiculous to assert that no one who posts in this thread is actually seeking advice to apply in the "real world".

 

[Thebumwhowalks]

It's ridiculous to assert that no one who posts in this thread is actually seeking advice to apply in the "real world".

That's not what I'm saying, going back to your original statement, that you like 'helping', I'm pointing out the difference between 'trying to help' and 'helping'.

 

[Cuyan]

The difference is obvious, and I'm not so naive that I cannot tell when someone is pointing something out and when someone is making a different point.