Revenge of the *Official* Relationship Advice Thread

[Anita18]

Yeah, to be honest, as much as I've always wanted to be in a relationship, the sex part has always been something that has worried me because I'm still inexperienced and I feel like the older I get, the more awkward it may feel, especially since the girl will most likely have at least some experience and might judge me and my performance when it finally happens. That's sort of why I always say sex is the last thing I think about when I go after a girl, because its really not something I'm trying to rush to get to.

Meet the right girl, and you won't have that problem. That's what my bf did.

Well, even though I was a virgin at the time, I knew sex didn't work exactly like in the pornos.

And please, not many women I know would judge you on how hard you rammed. For me it's mostly about trust and being considerate. Even if you're into being passive, if one partner says "stop" or "this is unpleasant, let's try something else," the other should oblige. Sex wouldn't be fun for me AT ALL if I didn't feel assured of that.

 

[LOBO3315a]

So, the guy I've now been on two dates with wants to go out again but wants me to pick what we do this time. Only problem is, I have zero ideas.

Bowling!

 

[Erzengel]

What is there to do in your town?

You live in like Idaho/Dakotas/Montana area?

It doesn't have to be the perfect date, it just has to be fun.

Concerts? Shows?

 

[Angel_Faerie]

There isn't much to do in this town, to be honest.

 

[Anubis]

Cow tipping.

 

[Erzengel]

Why don't you try and bring back dance to your town?

 

[Anubis]

Get kidnapped by aliens.

Nothing brings a couple together like a little....anal probing.

 

[WillardNation]

Just pick any random thing and throw a BJ in there. No matter where you go, he'll love you.

 

[AndThePickles]

And please, not many women I know would judge you on how hard you rammed. For me it's mostly about trust and being considerate. Even if you're into being passive, if one partner says "stop" or "this is unpleasant, let's try something else," the other should oblige. Sex wouldn't be fun for me AT ALL if I didn't feel assured of that.

Ehhhh I have to disagree to part of this - if a guy is horrible in the sack, it IS a deal breaker for a lot of women. Where I'll agree though is the consideration...if a guy is clearly trying to please, the woman will likely enjoy "teaching" where necessary

 

[Erzengel]

Same could be said for women. It's nice if a woman doesn't just lay there .

 

[Anita18]

Ehhhh I have to disagree to part of this - if a guy is horrible in the sack, it IS a deal breaker for a lot of women. Where I'll agree though is the consideration...if a guy is clearly trying to please, the woman will likely enjoy "teaching" where necessary

Well it's exactly as you said - it certainly can be taught. It's not like you're bad in bed like you're bad at math and that's the end of that. As long as the person isn't a total bonehead who thinks they're a sex god who doesn't need any suggestion, I don't see why someone would be automatically and permanently "bad in bed."

I think that's why referring to sex as "performance" is doing a disservice to the act. Normally performers practice in-between performances, right? So unless your partner is perfectly okay with you schtupping other people (prostitutes who teach you the ropes?) in between "performances" to "practice", it always can be considered a learning experience.

 

[Hound55]

I don't see how being bad at math is "the end of that".

 

[Erzengel]

If you are bad at math, then it's not likely you are going to going to get better at it. Unless you have Edward James Olmos, who ironically can also make you better at sex.

 

[Bruce Banner]

I randomly received a text today from the girl I dated(she left me at the end of September). She texted Asking me if we can talk.

She says "It just seemed like you had a lot on your mind Halloween night. I just wanted us to be peaceful acquaintances if that's possible."

I ran into her on Halloween at a party And Her friends were trying to get us to talk to each other.

I told her I didn't appreciate the friends mediating between the two of us. (I have wanted to wipe my hands clean of all this.)
She keeps asking me if I have "ill feelings towards her" and the last thing she said was "I guess I just wanted to see if you had/have ill feelings."

Let me clarify, I have NO intentions on ever dating this woman again(I dated her while trying to let go of my feelings for a close friend).
She is definitely the most confusing one I have ever dated. But I am naturally a very curious person, so what's going on in her head?

 

[bullets]

Maybe she feels guilty about how things played out. I'm still friends with all my exes with the exception of one. I'm not the one that usually initiates it but i'm always hoping to be on good terms with the person.

 

[AndThePickles]

I agree, she's feeling guilty and wants you to relieve her worries by saying you guys are fine and you don't have bad feelings towards her.

 

[Erzengel]

Tell her you'll NEVER forgive her and rue the day you met her.

 

[Hiddensymbols]

Tell her you'll NEVER forgive her and rue the day you met her.

THIS!!! lol but in all seriousness, if there are no hard feelings i don't see the harm in letting her know that she is probably thinking because you were pensive on halloween it had to do with your past together and wants to be absolved of her guilt

 

[Bruce Banner]

Does it make me an ***hole or immature to think that having some guilt would do her some good? She has been rather controlling and thinks too high of herself.

I had my doubts over her, but I really didn't expect her to be the way she was when we first started dating. I myself feel guilty for betraying my own desires(wanting to finally tell my friend Jordy, who shared the same feelings for me). I didn't think all this would be fair to Emily, so I try to let go of the past and move on and I gave her a chance. Then I find out why that way of thinking was such a big mistake and have been kicking my own *** over it since then.

 

[Erzengel]

Eh. I don't go out of my way to be an ass to people, but I won't blow smoke up their ass either.

 

[Bruce Banner]

Eh. I don't go out of my way to be an ass to people, but I won't blow smoke up their ass either.

My fault, I should have explained myself better. I just don't really feel like having this conversation with her. I didn't say I had ill feeling or didn't, I just don't feel like going into any of it with her.

 

[AndThePickles]

Just flat out tell her you don't want to talk, then. Or you could always just leave her text unanswered.

 

[Bruce Banner]

Just flat out tell her you don't want to talk, then. Or you could always just leave her text unanswered.

^
That's exactly what I am doing. I am not getting drawn back into anymore of her games. All I'm worried about truthfully is working things out with my friend, this on the other hand I was just curious over.

Thanks you guys(and pickles) for the input.

 

[Angel_Faerie]

Ok, so we've figured out the plan for what we're going to do, and a thought has entered my mind: Should I be expecting us to kiss soon? We've been texting every day and spending quite a bit of time together. And kissing is usually part of a situation like this. And I'm kind of nervous at the thought, to be honest. I've never kissed a boy.

 

[Anita18]

Ok, so we've figured out the plan for what we're going to do, and a thought has entered my mind: Should I be expecting us to kiss soon? We've been texting every day and spending quite a bit of time together. And kissing is usually part of a situation like this. And I'm kind of nervous at the thought, to be honest. I've never kissed a boy.

Depends on the guy. When my bf kissed me, it was so out-of-the-blue (we hadn't even held hands yet!) that my first thought was, "Hmm, this is an interesting development." But it was a good indicator of his personality, since he's not the type of person to make a huuuuge deal out of things. He just goes for it.

Frankly, that's probably the best solution for overwrought nervousness. I mean, if you don't want to go around kissing people willy-nilly, that's certainly your right, but it's also just a kiss. You don't have to wait for the perfect moment or be an expert at it.