Revenge of the *Official* Relationship Advice Thread

[Thebumwhowalks]

I have to say, it was very theraputic for me getting a lot of stuff off of my chest yesterday. I slept like a baby last night, best night's sleep I have had in a good long while, and damn, I really needed it, I was frickin shattered.
I was right, I can't be fighting a war on two fronts anymore, that sh** is not good when you are sick and exhausted, it just floods through your brain all night, keeping you as awake as your illness does.
I have to focus on one job now, to get it done without interferance from folk who don't know what they are doing.

But, I have to say, there have been a couple of rumblings from certain female/s, who think they can move in on me now, or try to mess me around or whatever, but they can forget it, I am still in love with someone, there is nothing I can do about that, if I end up with someone else it will not be for a very long time, like, not this year, not even the next. I just don't know how people can do that, go in with someone else on the rebound, aye, it is weak, and I can understand that, you are in emotional pain and want to have a drink or whatever, but unlike those particular weaknesses, being in a rebound realtionship, ie being with someone you don't love, while being in love with someone else, that involves bsing them as well as yourself, so I don't see how I could do that, or how anyone with integrity could.

Godamm, i cannot wait for 2013, i am going to sit in my hancock trailer up in the mountains and smoke a sweet one while enjoying some much cherised privacy, finish my magnum opus novel and then...see what happens, aw man, it is going to be some life, cannot wait.
I always liked that scene from Secret Wars II, where the Molecule Man realises he is far too dependant on Volcana, they had a big fight or something, and he ends up realising that he had to get to the point where he was alright without her, that a relationship is not healthy unless both parties can be alright on their own without the other.
and that is what i am going through now i guess, it is a step on my way to being ready for a healthy adult relationship, with whomever that that may be in the future...who knows...maybe i won't even go for a woman, i will go gay and hang out at the kung-fu schools looking for some big musclebound guy who can show me all the moves, hahaha.

 

[JJJ's Ulcer]

I personally think you and Jinouga would make a good match. I'm being serious. You seem to have similar personalities.

 

[Thebumwhowalks]

I personally think you and Jinouga would make a good match. I'm being serious. You seem to have similar personalities.

In all seriousness, I don't think it is a good idea to try to play matchmaker on forums like this, even said in jest, it could hurt someone's feelings if you said something about them one way or another.

 

[SpideyVille]

I personally think you and Jinouga would make a good match. I'm being serious. You seem to have similar personalities.

Is it because they both seem to write long walls of posts and then end it saying they don't care what we think?

 

[Erzengel]

I am still in love with someone, there is nothing I can do about that, if I end up with someone else it will not be for a very long time, like, not this year, not even the next.

Okay, I'll bite. What was this relationship you were in and for how long that has put you off the market for 2+ years?

 

[JJJ's Ulcer]

Is it because they both seem to write long walls of posts and then end it saying they don't care what we think?

You have learned well, young Padawan.

 

[steintym]

I personally think you and Jinouga would make a good match. I'm being serious. You seem to have similar personalities.

Ding, ding, ding ... Winner

 

[Thebumwhowalks]

Well, Spideyville, i think it's healthier to type up posts with some self reflection, than type up the walls of posts you have, like that time you said you had a date coming up, and it turned out the girl didn't even know you existed, and you didn't have the guts to even talk to her properly, never mind ask her out.

 

[Anita18]

Move.

Seriously.

I live in a neighborhood since we moved here a year ago, only 1 family has greeted us and welcomed us. But we like the privacy.

Agree. Sometimes you just don't jive with a place. I met someone yesterday who once moved to redneck Georgia to be with her husband (they have since divorced ) and when people pass you their business cards, they have their KKK number on them.

She lived in NYC around Central Park when she was young and jogged at all hours of the night and always felt safe, but she only jogged twice in that area of Georgia until she was convinced someone was gonna kill her in the woods eventually. People would watch her from their windows.

Sometimes you just can't make it work where you are.

I'd like to move, but I am employed where I live plus my mom needs my help since my dad passed away in February. Through my actions I believe I've proven to her that I'm not such a bad kid after all like those jerks want her to believe. I guess if I go anywhere I'm taking my mom and my nephew with me because they need me.

Yeah if your mom and nephew are being similarly ostracized, moving would be a good idea.

I personally think you and Jinouga would make a good match. I'm being serious. You seem to have similar personalities.

I actually thought that a few pages ago, but didn't want to mention it explicitly.

Well, Spideyville, i think it's healthier to type up posts with some self reflection, than type up the walls of posts you have, like that time you said you had a date coming up, and it turned out the girl didn't even know you existed, and you didn't have the guts to even talk to her properly, never mind ask her out.

Um, this is why it's called the "Relationship Advice thread, not the self-therapy thread.

But if you do self-therapy and it helps, why not. It's entertaining to read.

 

[Thebumwhowalks]

Um, this is why it's called the "Relationship Advice thread, not the self-therapy thread.

and pray tell, what do you do when you go into a bout of self-reflection? By the way of collecting your thoughts together you end up giving yourself advice, thankyewverymuch.

There's nothing wrong with doing that in the thread. But, i think it's a bit cheeky for Spideyville to be mocking that, when he came in and asked for advice under the pretence he had a date, when he did not! haha

anyway, i am not bothered, i was just giving him some ribbing back, i wasn't pissed off or anything.

 

[JJJ's Ulcer]

I would talk about my awesome date last night, but I'm afraid thebum will "rib" me for a page or two. And then somehow make it all about himself.

 

[Thebumwhowalks]

knock yourself out big man, i'm off to bed, i don't give a **** what you wanna talk about, hahaha.

 

[JJJ's Ulcer]

So... reverse psychology does work!!

 

[SpideyVille]

Um, first of all, I never asked for advice for a date that never happened. I asked for advice on what to do during a date because I was curious, seeing as how I've never been on one. And that sparked from the situation of a friend of mine trying to set me up with a friend of hers where she was trying to introduce me to her to see if she would even be interested in me to begin with. I only spoke about how the plan was to meet her, and if she was interested, then I would ask her out. And even though I did go a little crazy because of the situation, it was something I eventually decided to drop because I realized it wasn't what I really wanted, hence why I haven't even spoken about it for about a month. But I never said I needed advice on a date her before we even met.

And no one is saying that there's anything bad about self-reflection. I've come here many times to give advice to others by sharing some of my past experiences and what I've learned from them as have others. But there's a difference between sharing experiences to better yourself and others, and then just coming in here, ranting about relationships suck and how everyone else is wrong or controlling and you don't care what we think.

One of the things that really bothers me about this thread is when some random newcomer decides to come in and share all of their cynical beliefs of love and relationships just because they've been hurt a couple of times. Instead of learning to move on and learning from their experiences, they just decide to stay bitter and place blame onto others, which I find is a bit disrespectful to those of us who are actually trying to help each other out. Yes, sometimes people give sarcastic, joking remarks, but that's just to lighten the mood since it can easily get sad and depressing in here with so many stories of failed attempts of romance and rejection.

And now, how ironic is I that I've replied with a long wall of text that most people won't read.

 

[JJJ's Ulcer]

But Spideyville didn't you hear? The bum was only ribbing you. When people say something to him, they're attacking him and require a page-long response. But when he says something bad about others, he's merely giving a good-natured ribbing. That's the bum for you... what a ribster!

 

[SpideyVille]

LOL, yeah I know, most of that stuff wasn't really directed towards him though. It's just really been bothering me lately how some people come in here saying things like they won't date hispanic guys because they're only interested in getting a green card, or how all woman are evil and manipulative, and then wonder why they have trouble getting into a relationship. I feel like people are just looking for attention and a place to rant when they post things like that.

 

[Anita18]

and pray tell, what do you do when you go into a bout of self-reflection? By the way of collecting your thoughts together you end up giving yourself advice, thankyewverymuch.

There's nothing wrong with doing that in the thread. But, i think it's a bit cheeky for Spideyville to be mocking that, when he came in and asked for advice under the pretence he had a date, when he did not! haha

anyway, i am not bothered, i was just giving him some ribbing back, i wasn't pissed off or anything.

Oh yeah, I do that all the time. But it usually happens in my head, I don't post it in public. At best I'll chat about it with my best friend online or my mom. But not in a public forum. I don't presume that everyone else is interested in what I have to reflect about.

And IIRC Spidey WAS in here asking for advice, about a hypothetical situation.

 

[JJJ's Ulcer]

LOL, yeah I know, most of that stuff wasn't really directed towards him though. It's just really been bothering me lately how some people come in here saying things like they won't date hispanic guys because they're only interested in getting a green card, or how all woman are evil and manipulative, and then wonder why they have trouble getting into a relationship. I feel like people are just looking for attention and a place to rant when they post things like that.

Oh you mean this kinda post:

"I hate and refuse to talk to Hispanics, blacks, whites, people with mustaches, bald people, blonde people, brown haired people, redheads, people who drink, people who don't drink but smoke, people who smoke pot, vegetarians, non-religious people, too religious people, older people, younger people and people who don't immediately understand what I don't like.... so why am I so lonely, yooooooooouuuuuu guuuuuuuys? "

 

[SuperFerret]

Dammit, JJ, I told you that in private.

 

[Thebumwhowalks]

Oh yeah, I do that all the time. But it usually happens in my head, I don't post it in public. At best I'll chat about it with my best friend online or my mom. But not in a public forum. I don't presume that everyone else is interested in what I have to reflect about.

Well, I have very different personal circumstances than you, you have no first hand experience of my life, and no insights into it, so it's kind of foolish of you to judge my actions by your own.

And IIRC Spidey WAS in here asking for advice, about a hypothetical situation.

He came in and said he had a date coming up, it wasn't posted up hypothetically, he said he had a date coming up, he was bsing, or at best, was getting way ahead of himself, because it turned out that the girl he was talking about didn't even know he existed.

 

[SpideyVille]

Seriously, I don't understand why its a big deal for you. But here's what I posted.

So seeing as how I've never been on a date before and am looking to change that real soon, what are some good things to do on a first datehttp://forums.superherohype.com/showthread.php?p=21598547# with a girl, both in terms of places to go and how I should behave?

I never said I had a date with a girl. The closest thing I said was that there was a girl my friend was trying to introduce me to and she was a big comic book fan, and I only said that because you of all people kept mentioning how I shouldn't talk about superheroes or forum, and I wanted to show how they probably wouldn't be the case with this particular girl.

I haven't allowed myself to have feelings for a girl for over a year and a half, and I was finally ready to stop moping around about it and ready to change that, so I wanted some general advice. But apparently you think its worse for me to ask for advice than it is for others who come in here to complain about everybody and everything and not even care about what advice people have for them.

 

[JJJ's Ulcer]

Thebum's always criticizing others for being mean or ganging up on posters. But here he's doing exactly that.

 

[Thebumwhowalks]

Ok, your first post on the matter was vague, but in further posts you deliberately gave the impression there was a girl who you would be going out on a date with.
like, i recall after i gave my advice, you came in with a smug post saying this girl was a comic book fan, followed by a wink smiley, so please don't try to say you were not trying to give the impression that you were going on an imminent date with a specific girl.

when the truth was, she didn't even know you existed.

 

[JJJ's Ulcer]

Drama!

 

[Thebumwhowalks]

Thebum's always criticizing others for being mean or ganging up on posters. But here he's doing exactly that.

Really? All i saw was self defence. Because maybe Spideyville shouldn't be mocking my serious posts on my personal life if he doesn't want me bringing up his wall of post crap.
Even when i spoke of this before weeks before, i did not name him specifically, and actually tried to give him a kick up the arse advicewise, so he would be braver next time, instead of fluffing it through fear again.