The Relationship Thread: Because Superhero Forums are Full of Sexperts! - - Part 21

[jaymes_e06]

SHE'LL NEVER LOVE MEEEE.

 

[moviedoors]

Lady chaseter said the 'L' word the other night and I said it back

Then

It feels great, doesn't it?

 

[chaseter]

Love?

 

[moviedoors]

Love?

Yup. And saying it for the first time to someone.

 

[Warhammer]

BBC guys asking me what I'm doing tonight.

Big black c***?

Love?

I thought he meant the other thing.

 

[Hyde]

I'll be damned if that's what the BBC has stood for all these years

Oh, yeah, hi again. So there's this girl that I've really started to like recently, unlike the previous ones I've posted about here she's not like super popular, in fact I didn't even know who she was before September but we've been pretty close for a while and I spent months chasing after different girls, with her always in my head as a "idk, maybe one day?" kind of thing in terms of relationships. Well it's only recently I actually started developing feelings for her, and of course as soon as that happens all the signs and interest she previously showed disappeared and it's like I'm making all the effort.

Just a couple of minutes ago a friend of mine (that girl who I liked for ages and wrote about in here.. she's got a boyfriend now, good for her) was texting me and she said that the girl I like now had told her that she still really really likes her ex - who's now a bit of a misogynistic, objectifying dick. They grew up together and have been on and off for a while in terms of that stuff, but it does come as a big blow because I was finally planning on sucking it up after so long of being afraid to tell a girl I like them.

Blegh.

 

[enterthemadness]

I think my friend was busting my balls. But he said the waitress today at our lunch was flirting with one of us. I honestly don't know, I was shoving food into my mouth hole num num num.

 

[jaymes_e06]

I thought he meant the other thing.

I was thinking lesbian.

 

[Warhammer]

I'll be damned if that's what the BBC has stood for all these years

If hopefuldreamer meant anything but that, my mind will be blown.

 

[Bim]

Sorry you've found yourself caught in a weirdos line of sight!

People can be so strange. Last time a guy told me in a message that he needed to talk to me about something and couldn't do it in the message - it was to say he didn't think we should see each other again. Which I thought was obvious by the lack of message of over a week, and certainly didn't require saying to my face!

You have a few options really. 1. Go to group and just be totally cold with him, don't even talk to him. 2. Don't go to group for long enough that he gets the picture. 3. Call him out in front of everyone about his behaviour. 4. Call him out in private about his behaviour.

Which one you leaning towards?

Tell me about it . I keep thinking i want to send the ï'm single and dont want to date anyone right now vibe, but i guess i'm doing it wrong

I know, right? My friend has this theory that he just wanted to hear my voice, but that creeps me out even more

In all honesty, i'm leaning towards number 1. If he dares test me in person, i'll just be very blunt and say it in front of everyone. I usually hang out with these people on mondays. If by then my anger has subsided i'll go, if not i'll wait another week. While i dont feel like dealing with him i also dont want to give him so much power as to let him break me of what i like doing just to avoid him. That angers me even more than the ridiculous situation itself.

 

[Erzengel]

Is your voice pleasant?

 

[SpideyVille]

Som I read this article that was based around something posted on Reddit called "Girlfriend-zoning" and I gotta say, I know that its been talked about many times here, but they made some interesting points about how some guys talk about being friend-zoned but at the same time they do something similar to girls they like by only looking at them as a potential girlfriend and not as a human being. I know I've definitely been guilty of that on so many occasions.

 

[Erzengel]

We've discussed this here.

Usually, the same guys who ***** and complain about being friend zoned don't usually have that honorable of intentions in the first place. (aka, nice guy syndrome)

Confusing kindness for interest, thinking girls are vending machines for affection, etc.

I mean if you're months into liking a girl and think that some sort of involved gesture is going to make her fall for you, you've been watching too many romantic comedies.

 

[Bim]

Is your voice pleasant?

As sexy as Schwarzenegger's

Confusing kindness for interest, thinking girls are vending machines for affection, etc.

I mean if you're months into liking a girl and think that some sort of involved gesture is going to make her fall for you, you've been watching too many romantic comedies.

I think you're describing the man i'm dealing with lol

 

[Anita18]

Lady chaseter said the 'L' word the other night and I said it back

Then

I feel there is a movie in that sequence of emoticons right there!

Well, no response back from BBC guy... Why bother asking if you're not gonna follow through?

Like seriously, if your not interested stop asking me out. This will now be the third time

On another note, a few friends and I are going to go speed dating in feb.

Anyone ever been?

A college prof of mine met her husband speed-dating. He was the next guy after she decided to stop weeding out guys by what music they liked.

 

[Paradoxium]

We've discussed this here.

Usually, the same guys who ***** and complain about being friend zoned don't usually have that honorable of intentions in the first place. (aka, nice guy syndrome)

Confusing kindness for interest, thinking girls are vending machines for affection, etc.

I mean if you're months into liking a girl and think that some sort of involved gesture is going to make her fall for you, you've been watching too many romantic comedies.

Guys should decline the LJBF offer, or go ghost. AND STICK WITH IT. It's the equivalent of giving the girl emotional blue balls. No ego preservation for you. t:

 

[Anita18]

Som I read this article that was based around something posted on Reddit called "Girlfriend-zoning" and I gotta say, I know that its been talked about many times here, but they made some interesting points about how some guys talk about being friend-zoned but at the same time they do something similar to girls they like by only looking at them as a potential girlfriend and not as a human being. I know I've definitely been guilty of that on so many occasions.

Yup. A female friend of mine is sometimes loathe to admit that she's married to guys she's just met and thinks she'd get along with as a friend, because she's afraid that they'll ditch her when they find out they won't be getting in her pants.

She's also on the paranoid side, but there's probably a bit of reality to it as well.

That's why it's important to just ask the girl out early, before you put too much emotional stake into it. Having to ditch her as a friend because you've built up the "potential girlfriend!!!111!!!" thing in your head is just awkward for everybody.

We've discussed this here.

Usually, the same guys who ***** and complain about being friend zoned don't usually have that honorable of intentions in the first place. (aka, nice guy syndrome)

Confusing kindness for interest, thinking girls are vending machines for affection, etc.

I mean if you're months into liking a girl and think that some sort of involved gesture is going to make her fall for you, you've been watching too many romantic comedies.

The operative word being "comedy" here. Isn't a typical guy's worst fear is being laughed at by a woman?

 

[Paradoxium]

Girlfriend-zoning? That sounds like something a girl would come up with. You won't ever hear guys moaning about girls wanting to be his girlfriend.

 

[Anita18]

Girlfriend-zoning? That sounds like something a girl would come up with. You won't ever hear guys moaning about girls wanting to be his girlfriend.

I've had guys who immediately stopped contacting me (and we were having a nice friend thing going) when they found out I was married.

-shrug-

I don't think guys necessarily moan about it though. They just do it.

 

[SpideyVille]

I have to admit, the girls that I've gotten along with the best and had become good friends with were usually girls that I knew had boyfriends. And it really goes in to the theory of when you see an attractive girl who is single, you look at her differently than someone who is already involved with someone. Like I've always said that I'm a fan of romance, and would hate to do anything that would make a couple breakup, so I would just hang out with them like normal friends would because the boundaries would have already been set up.

But what I hate is when a girl thinks I'm trying to hit on her or something when I'm not, and she starts putting up her defenses. I hate that, especially if I'm only interested in a friendship and nothing more. I guess they're just trying to give you a heads up that they're not interested, but at the same time it comes off as a bit arrogant and judgmental because how do they know what I'm thinking?

 

[Frodo]

When women put up the defenses its probably because they've been hit on alot or chased by sideline guys who think if they wait long enough, she'll fall for them. I suppose it can be sort of an ego trip for some , but that's solved by flirting with other women right in front of them or talking about others women.

It deflates the ego right there for those who are doing it to be cocky and it reassures those who want to make sure you're both on the same page. For the most part though, women do it just to get make sure the guy knows shes not interested so he doesn't get his feelings hurt.

 

[Anita18]

Sometimes women think that when guys are nice to them, they MUST be hitting on them, just as some guys think that when a woman is nice to them, that MUST mean she wants the D.

I can hold perfectly friendly and pleasant conversations with both men and women. But when a guy compliments me personally (especially when it's something about my physical body), then my defenses go up. Heck, we could be making sex jokes and it would be all right as long as it wasn't about ME.

But yeah, some women are overly paranoid about that stuff.

 

[Bim]

When women put up the defenses its probably because they've been hit on alot or chased by sideline guys who think if they wait long enough, she'll fall for them. I suppose it can be sort of an ego trip for some , but that's solved by flirting with other women right in front of them or talking about others women.

It deflates the ego right there for those who are doing it to be cocky and it reassures those who want to make sure you're both on the same page. For the most part though, women do it just to get make sure the guy knows shes not interested so he doesn't get his feelings hurt.

This is me. All my life i've had issues with having guys who are just friends, because at one point they suddenly tell me they have feelings for me or something like that, and i'm left cause i wasnt expecting it. When i say i wanna be friends, i wanna be friends. With the men i've dated it's always been clear i liked them. I dont like the mind games of dating, never have. I got to a point where i closed up cause i just didnt trust any man's motives anymore, and that's kinda sad.

Lately I had been telling myself i shouldnt be paranoid and be more open to guy friends cause not all of them want to sleep with me lol, and then i end up in the situation i am with a guy i only really had a decent conversation once, doesnt really know me and says he dreams about me the day after i talked to him . And doesnt help he isnt taking the hint, despite me being clear about it.

So where the heck am i suposed to go from here: back to paranoia or keep giving guys the benefit of doubt at the risk of ending up in more weird situations? Honestly, i'm torn.

 

[Alien Anal]

This is me. All my life i've had issues with having guys who are just friends, because at one point they suddenly tell me they have feelings for me or something like that, and i'm left cause i wasnt expecting it. When i say i wanna be friends, i wanna be friends. With the men i've dated it's always been clear i liked them. I dont like the mind games of dating, never have. I got to a point where i closed up cause i just didnt trust any man's motives anymore, and that's kinda sad.

Lately I had been telling myself i shouldnt be paranoid and be more open to guy friends cause not all of them want to sleep with me lol, and then i end up in the situation i am with a guy i only really had a decent conversation once, doesnt really know me and says he dreams about me the day after i talked to him . And doesnt help he isnt taking the hint, despite me being clear about it.

So where the heck am i suposed to go from here: back to paranoia or keep giving guys the benefit of doubt at the risk of ending up in more weird situations? Honestly, i'm torn.

****... I hope you are not who I think you are t: would make sense though.

 

[Bim]

****... I hope you are not who I think you are t: would make sense though.

Who's that? i'm almost afraid to ask lol